The Heart Wants What It Wants
by zaibi12
Summary: Modern AU! Life is not smooth sailing for the seperated couple Robert and Cora. Both are busy mending thier lives and are at a verge of making a life changing decision. Head or the Heart? Which one to listen to? That's the big question!
1. Chapter 1

Robert Crawley sipped his coffee at his office as he scrolled down his laptop to check if he didn't miss out any important email. This month had been hectic, he had been running back and forth, his company _Grantham Holdings_ had been making profit after profit, nourishing and rising. It still surprised him how much he had gained and how bright the future seemed. He was determined to make it as successful as possible and he knows that he could do it. His Papa must be proud. Robert had always been very passionate about his grandfathers and then fathers business and he was making sure to not let it be anything other than how he had always wanted and thankfully maintained. He had been working for his father and after his sudden death in a plane crash, he alone had been supervising everything. It had been tough and trying but he had managed, thanks to his supportive wife, Cora. And now he was gaining clients after clients for the business. That too, for two reasons. First, that he wanted to make it as efficient and as successful as possible and second, it kept him busy.

He wanted to be busy, he liked being busy because if he wasn't working nine to five, even late sometimes, he would have no other option than to go home alone. Sure, he had friends and children but they had their own lives, he couldn't very well barge in on them anytime he wished. So he had to go home. Home. What a peculiar word it sounded because it didn't feel like home. Not anymore. It was a house with memories that break his heart more times that he'd like. The woman who made it home, wasn't there to greet him like she used to.

Cora had left him. They had been separated for almost four years now. It's never one sided, both parties were at fault but he takes most of the blame. He had been busy, super busy with the work and Cora had felt neglected. She told him that and he tried, he really did try to manage as well possible but balance was one thing he sucked at. But he missed her too and understood her so he suggested her to take a course in the art institution to pass her time. She had always wanted to but never found the time. Course turned into internships then part time employment then full time job. They had never had money issues but she enjoyed it and before they knew what happened, this routine of theirs poisoned their relationships. Sometimes days passed by where they didn't exchanged more than an 'I'll be late' or 'Get the grocery'. Cora enjoyed her work and Robert was proud of her but then she started travelling.

A gallery here, a painting there, a study at some place or a library somewhere. But he wasn't as patient as Cora had been. He tried; he really did to cope up with her to support her, like she had always, especially when his father died and the work burden was too high but he felt alone and didn't feel like he had a wife at all. Alas, bad decisions come with drastic consequences, he slept with his secretary. He didn't want to, but she was eager and he was handsome as well as desperate. He missed Cora but he was just too stupid. Eventually Cora found out. It was horrible and he didn't deny it. He had never been a liar so she left him. It had been bloody and ghastly but she did.

Then a year after their separation, he found out that she had been dating some guy named Simon Bricker who had been working with her. Then he heard that she had moved in with him and according to the usual updates he heard from Rosamund or Mary, is that they were happy. It had broken his heart but he felt like he deserved it. After what he did to her, to himself, to his marriage, he felt like he deserved to be punished. He had seen the man, tall, brown who grinned like a fool all the time. Robert hated him. Not just because he had in possession the thing most dear to him but something about him gave him a weird feeling. He was just too…slippery. When he told Mary this she just rolled her eyes and told him that he was just jealous so from then he kept his opinions about that stick of a man to himself.

He went into depression. Cora was his everything, he should have treated her better, she deserved better and he should have given her the best life. Didn't he promise himself that? To keep her priority? One night almost two years ago he had drink too much, he had been crying because he missed her so much. Till then he had kept things bottled in, never shared with anyone what pain he was going through but that bubble bursted and the pain oozed out. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know where to turn so he went to Rosamund's. When she opened the door, she didn't say anything, just looked at him and bit her lip and took him into her arms. His eyes and been bloodshot and he looked so broken that it was painful for his ever strong sister to even look at him. He had cried like a baby all night, unusual for him but he did and she understood. He told her everything that had been going in his mind lately.

"I miss her so much, Ros, I don't know what to do. I know it's my fault, I don't deserve her but I love her so much God dammit!" He had smashed his glass of scotch on the floor. Thankfully, Rosamund didn't say anything. Not for at least a few minutes.

"Robert, listen to me. Look at me"

So he did.

"It takes two. It always takes two. It's not just your fault, it takes two"

So from then he just reminded himself of his sister's words and kept himself busy. He didn't have much social life, Cora was his best friend. He didn't just lose his wife; he lost his lover, his best friend, his light in the dark, his heart.

He loved her. He still did. He thought about it as less as possible, but he did and he knew it but apparently she had moved on and if it's true what he had heard second handedly that she was happy then so be it. She deserved that. Although since that awful night with his secretary, he had felt so disgusted with himself that he never slept with anyone. Never even went out on a date. His friend, Bates had tried to set him up even Rosamund did, but everyone knew it was useless because he never went. He did, twice but bored the poor women with his sad life so he never bothered.

* * *

Robert rubbed his temple, trying to get rid of the creeping migraine. He had to finish the mails and go through the financial statements one more time. His phone beeped and he swiped it open, taking another sip of his coffee.

Cora had messaged.

 _"Robert, are you busy? Can I meet you tonight?"_

It wasn't something unusual. He had to meet Cora many times over the years, his heart skipped a beat each time she turned up or smiled or tucked a strand of hair behind her ear that he so desperately wanted to do himself. And of course there were always birthdays or anniversaries so they were bound to meet. They both were tired of fighting and arguing so they didn't talk much. They did but always about others in the family. Never about themselves but he knew something was sure to come. And soon.

And that made his heart beat faster. He knew this was it. Probably the finish line.

It had been four years. Four years of ignoring the topic, they were both too wounded to talk. But he did hear from Edith that Simon was planning to propose which meant time had come to make some life changing decisions. And he knew what it was. He knew her too well; she wanted to meet him so that she can talk. Talk about getting a divorce.

Divorce. He hated the word but this was something inevitable in their situation. It won't make much difference because they haven't really acted as husband and wife for years now but the thought still ran shivers down his spine. It would change everything on the whole. It would make it official, it would make it final, she will be no longer his, and they will never get back together. The thought was enough to make him feel claustrophobic; he immediately stood up and went out the balcony of his office. He knew he couldn't ignore it and maybe it was the right time because it's not like he'll be staying here for a year or two. He had to tell her that, obviously so maybe it was the right time. He took a deep breath and replied a quick _"Yes, I'm free. Same place?"_

Their place. Their bridge.

Before marrying Cora, it was the centre point to his house and her home. Then after their separation it was the midpoint of her new house and his home. There was a restaurant facing the water with the best sandwiches so it was kind of their place.

How odd, he had taken her on a boat one night and proposed. He still remember the number of that boat, boat number 25 C. And today he'll probably face that boat again and talk about their divorce. His heart broke at the thought.

"Mr. Crawley?" his assistant interrupted his painful thoughts.

"Yes?"

"The documents came by fax and the details as well. After your visit next month, I believe you'll have 3 months before your transfer"

"Yes, very well. A year?"

"That's the plan but it may extend."

"It probably will but we don't have another option. I'll have to move for at least a year to at least start it up, make a base of the company abroad. It's a big step but I'm quite positive about it"

"I do hope so, Sir"

Laura gave him a small smile, handed him the papers and exited his office.

Maybe it is better. It'll be hard after the divorce and I certainly don't want to be here when Cora and that scarecrow get married so a change will be good. It should be refreshing. And it's good for the company. It's a great way of expansion!

He thought.

His phone beeped again, _"Great, see you at eight and yes, same place"_

He sighed and looked at the orange sky slowly turning dark, much like his life.

* * *

 _Hi guys! I'm back haha. I honestly don't know what I am writing here, I have no plans and I haven't thought this trough BUT while laying on my bed I just sort of had a vision of Cobert in modern setting and I started typing without a clue to where it's headed. If it's crap, I apologize. I will think of what to do and if you have any ideas, PM! I hope you at least like the start. Those of you who know me and have read my previous fics they know how horrible I am because I like drama haha! But this could take any turn possible so beware. Please do review and tell me your opinions. Your replies are the honestly the only thing that_ _keeps me motivated. Have a great day! - Zaibi!_


	2. Chapter 2

_"Great, see you at eight and yes, same place"_

Cora quickly replied to her husband and put the phone back in her purse with a sigh. Meeting Robert alone after their separation had always been tense. They act so cautious around each other, always testing the surfaces, making random small talk or discussing children. They were both so afraid to hurt each other again. She had spent a large chunk of her life with that man. He was her husband and she had loved him so much but then he started to withdraw from her. She missed him so at his suggestion she started working. He suggested it, didn't he? Then why did he have to be all grumpy each time she had to go for work? They were both busy. Cora supported him so much when he had to work till wee hours then why couldn't he do the same? She had achieved and prospered and enjoyed her job so much and every time she wanted to share her success with her best friend, her husband all she got in return was a quick, 'That's great. What's for dinner?' Why couldn't he be happy for her? A hug or at least give a "That is wonderful darling, I am so happy for you"? They started to withdraw and Cora had consoled herself that it's only their damn routine but then she heard someone from his office spread gossip that he had slept with his secretary, Jane. Oh, that made her lungs stop working. She didn't believe it. She didn't want to and when she asked him, he confirmed the story. She felt like she had been slapped and had been kicked swiftly in the stomach. She had never felt so broken in her life before that. She felt helpless. 25 years of marriage and love and he threw it all away doing it with a secretary. She couldn't possibly live like that so she left him. She needed to get away.

Simon Bricker, her colleague had come along, he was kind and listened to all her stories and was nice to her. She fell in a comforting pace with him. And soon they were dating then moved in together. He was good enough for her and she enjoyed being listened to and being appreciated.

It had been four years of struggle. She didn't know what to do but she was tired and she had a feeling that everyone expected her to make some sort of a decision soon because living like this wasn't taking her anywhere. It was only a few months ago that Simon randomly or rather purposely told her about a great lawyer friend he had. A divorce lawyer, how fitting! It wasn't his decision nor he pushed her but then her mother had asked her as well about what she planning to do. What was she planning to do? She never really thought about it. But maybe it was time. She had a feeling Simon was about to propose and she didn't know what she wanted. He was good enough for her. He was supportive and appreciated her. It wasn't mad love, or even love love, but she liked him. She had been in love before and she honestly didn't trust the powers of love now. She had loved Robert desperately and she knew he had loved her as well but even with that and matching chemistry and similar likes and dislikes, they had fallen apart. So maybe love isn't everything. Simon understood her want for independence. She didn't love him like she loved Robert but maybe love isn't that important. She liked him and that was enough. She wasn't sure if she wanted to marry him but she did know that it was time to make some sort of a decision. She didn't go to the lawyer but she did hint the impatiently wondering Simon that she'll talk to Robert. She wasn't even sure what she was exactly going to say. How will she say it? It hurts her so much! It still did but she has to be strong. She was going to ask the man who had been her whole heart if he wanted a divorce.

Well, did she want a divorce?

She didn't know. She just…oh, why is this so hard? She had loved him and some part of her always will and he had loved her. They had been happy but for the past six years they had been terribly unhappy. They set each other teeth on edge, she didn't want that. She didn't want to hate him so she will just talk to him first. She will make the brave move. Surely he would be seeing someone?

She wondered if there was someone. She would make him happy; she would be pretty as well. Bitch. What a bitch. No wait, why is she even thinking about this? Robert had all the right to be with someone else. She was with Simon as well so thinking that would be hypocritical. She didn't love him but she was dating. This is so hard for her, it is still hard for her, she doesn't think about her and Robert much, what's the point? When at times she did, she realized that her heart physically aches. She hated that! They weren't meant to be but gosh, that man, he made her mad. She just….can't with him. He is her Robert.

But he is not now. So he had all the right to be with someone else. Why is she jealous? Oh what on earth is she doing, she doesn't even know if there is someone in his life!

What a mess.

Her life is a mess. Everything is a mess and she needs to sort it out. She needs to talk to him about the divorce.

Divorce. The word stabbed her heart. It would make it final but that's good isn't it? They will have a chance to start afresh. To move on. And they needed to get out of this maze because it wasn't taking them anywhere. And she will still see him. She still does at parties and get togethers. She will stay in touch with him forever, they were bound to meet, they had a family.

But she will just talk and see what he thinks. Because she doesn't know what she thinks or wants but she wanted to end this torture for both of them.

They had loved each other. And some part of them always will keep loving each other, it was impossible not to but it was time.

Cora sighed again and ran a hand through her hair sitting in her basement researching on a painting she had recently learned about.

Her hand passed her cheek and felt the wetness on it. She moved her head to the right to face the large mirror she had placed.

Tears.

She had been crying and she didn't even realize it.

Be strong. Be strong Cora. It is for the best. It must be.

She observed the picture of the painting on the book she had been reading. It was a painting of man facing a sunset, sitting on a beach. It was so colourful and so dark at the same time. The sky was so colourful but ocean was turning darker slowly.

Somehow she felt like the man in the picture. Watching her life turn from light to dark.

Watching the sun set in her life bringing in the dark sky.

* * *

 _Hey! Here is Chapter 2 from Cora's POV. I really hope its isn't crap. Still no ideas to where it's headed. Reviews will be much appreciated._


	3. Chapter 3

Robert shut the door of his car and pressed the button on his key to lock it. The chilly weather made him want to crawl back in the car where it was warmer but he didn't have much time, it was almost eight and he had promised Cora to meet her at the bridge. He took a long breath and started walking towards it. He knew what it was going to be about so he told himself not to make a scene. He walked slowly towards the bridge; he saw that the stars were nowhere to be seen in the sky. It was really foggy today, he felt like he was in a scene from a movie. What a sad movie, he thought.

He stopped at a point, putting hands on the brick surface of the railing of the bridge. Cora hadn't arrived yet so he busied himself looking out at the boats. He started counting them and then a small smile set on his lips. The boat that is as they called their boat was right in the middle of the boats tied to the deck. He could still remember when he took Cora's hand and lead her into it. She was wearing a black sleeveless dress and her lips were painted red, she had looked so beautiful that day. He still remembered her expressions when he kneeled down. Her breath caught in her throat and he stopped momentarily because it felt surreal and so meant to be and so right. It was perfect. They were so happy. Why did it have to go wrong? If it wasn't meant to be why did it feel so great at the time? He clutched his coat tighter around him and took out his phone to distract himself. He checked his messages. How boring is his life?

 _Phone company._

 _Bates' reminder for the meeting tomorrow._

 _Message from the bank confirming about his purchase_ _of a travel bag a few hours ago._

 _Rosamund's message to invite him for their usual siblings Tuesday night dinner._

 _A message from Tom that he might pay him a visit soon so that they can watch the cricket match together._

Ah! He started replying to the ones needed replying when his phone started ringing and Cora's beautiful face appeared on the screen. He picked up.

"Hey", he said.

"Hi, where are you?"

"On the bridge"

"Oh, I just got out of my car and wanted to confirm. There's so much fog, I can hardly see a thing", she chuckled.

He chuckled back, "I'm not far. Come on"

"Yeah, wait, I am almost there"

He then saw a figure emerging from the fog.

She wore a blue dress, a dress that matched her eyes perfectly, her lips were painted pink and she wore a black coat over it. It was just like a scene in those cheesy movies but gosh, it was like she descended straight from heaven. She looked so angelic. They were still on the phone and she spotted him, giving him a wave and a smile she cancelled the call. He waved back awkwardly, trying to steady his heart.

This was his wife. His.

And he was meeting her to let her go. He let out a breath and looked away before she reached him. The pain was too much but he didn't want to look like a broken person that he so obviously was.

She reached him and he looked back at her and moved to awkwardly kiss her cheek. He could smell the scent of her flowery perfume.

Damn.

Stop it, Robert. Get a hold of yourself.

He distracted himself and spoke, "How are you"

"Good", she smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Her nervous habit. She was nervous and it only confirmed his suspicion about what she came to talk about. Ouch, his heart.

"Hungry?" he said.

"Starving", she chuckled.

He smiled and starting walking with her towards the restaurant, "Let's go".

She nodded and followed him.

She wanted to loop her arm through his arm or just take his hand but they weren't on such good terms and it would feel awkward clinging to the man she came to break up with.

 _Break up with_.

Why does the realization hurt every time? Every time. What the hell!

She followed him and he talked to the waiter and within two minutes they were seated.

"The usual?" he asked.

She nodded.

He went through the motions of ordering their food and then they sat awkwardly as the waiter brought their drinks.

"How is work?"

She asked taking a sip of her drink.

"Really good" he smiled. "We have a big development coming up"

"Oh?"

"Yes, but I won't bore you with details", he smiled and she nodded. "How about yours? Sybil told me you are working on a new painting you found"

"Yeah, well I haven't seen it yet but hopefully I will soon"

He adjusted his napkin and nodded "What's it about?"

She raised her eyebrow knowing very well that he had zero interest in the history of a painting.

He rolled his eyes and chuckled and she nodded. "Shouldn't bore you with details" she said copying him.

He grinned "Always a fan of a comeback, Cora Craw-. Cora" His face immediately flushed.

Uh oh! Awkward and painful.

She won't be a Crawley longer so he didn't say but he almost did and she of course noticed that and met his eyes and then looked down to adjust the napkin, her face just as red.

It was always like this. If it even goes a bit less awkward something happens which purposely reminded them of their position.

Thankfully the waiter came with their food and the rest of the dinner passed as all the previous ones did. Both needed to talk but not now, after dinner.

The dinner passed talking about the children, the weather, the sports, the new fashion and the viral infections.

They weren't ready to dip in the hole just yet.

* * *

 _Seriously no idea why I am updating so quickly haha! Because I don't think I will be able to keep this pace up, I have a long weekend (woho!) and somehow the motivation crept into me and made me type out 4 chapter in a day hahaha! Tbh, I still don't know what I feel about this story, which is why I am updating so soon, to know what you all think about it. I would be most grateful to read reviews, I am VERY nervous._


	4. Chapter 4

After dinner Cora stood out the restaurant while Robert talked to the waiter. After a few minutes he came out.

"Sorry about that" he said as he adjusted his coat.

"It's okay" she smiled back.

"Some silly form about the recommendations"

Cora chuckled, "You never say no to anyone"

Robert turned red. Shit. She didn't mean it that way. Did she really have to? That night was one night he regrets most.

Cora groaned internally at her foolishness "Robert I-"

He shook his head "Never mind"

"I didn't mean it that way" she said trying to justify herself.

He looked at her and her blue eyes melted him. He nodded and started walking asking her to join him.

"I just meant that you're a softie"

He smiled as they continued walking "Is that good or bad?" He asked in attempt to lighten the thick conversation.

"Both, I guess"

He nodded in understanding. They stopped at the railing and faced the water once again. He stared at her from side eye and she was completely oblivious about it. He saw her smile and he didn't need to ask why she did because he knew why.

She had spotted their boat.

"The boat?" he asked.

"Yup"

He smiled and she did too.

"Robert"

This was it. He took a sharp breath. "Yes?"

Oh, how is this supposed to start? She didn't even know. She felt the hair on her neck stand and knew that it wasn't because of the cold.

"You know this isn't going to last long right?" she whispered biting her lip.

She didn't look at him. Oh, she couldn't bear to look at him. She was trying so hard not to break down because no matter what, they have had a history and this was painful.

There was no point in pretending he didn't know what she meant so he too looked at some point in the water and slightly nodded. Dammit this hurts "Yeah well, um..I really didn't think much on how to move from this point but if you- um, if you want then-". Oh, he only 'umm-ed' when he was extremely nervous, she knew.

Don't cry. Don't cry, Cora.

She told herself and gulped.

"I don't know what I want but I do know that we need to stop torturing ourselves. This is leading us nowhere"

Silence.

He knew it had been a struggle and it was time to untangle all the unnecessary knots.

He looked at her and so did she. Both can see the pain etched on each other's faces.

"Do you have some place to go to Cora? Do you know where it would lead you afterwards?"

He looked at her so intensely. Her eyes betrayed her and the tears started forming in her eyes. He let out a breath and she saw the smoke coming out his mouth because of the cold weather.

Just like always. Always. Must he really pretend as if he's the only one going through hell? God, they can't even talk about themselves without striking painful remarks.

"Robert, you know this isn't easy for me either?"

He looked away and shrugged his shoulders.

She let out a groan. He made her so mad!

She ran a hand through her hair in exasperation and bit her lower lip.

She touched his forearm forcefully and made him look at her. Her ice cold as ice.

"Robert, don't think that this is easy for me, alright?" she snapped. "This is something that is going to change our lives. I know that. Which is why I only came here to talk to you about it. I didn't came here forcing you into a divorce" her voice louder.

"But you do want it?" his voice was small.

"Don't you? Won't this end the suffering?"

"Maybe for you but not for me"

"Oh yes, make me the hypocrite. Yes, I am the unfeeling one here, right?" her tone dripped in sarcasm. She crossed her arms around her chest.

"No, Cora-"

"Must I remind you that I am not the one who cheated" she snapped.

Oh, she knew how to push the buttons.

"Oh, yes" he put his hands on his hips "And who is cheating now? Huh?"

"We are separated" she gritted.

"But we're still married!"

"As if you're a saint! How many women did you have since I left you? Do you even remember the number?"

His face soften as if someone had shot him and he is glad about it. Cora was still glaring at him.

"I didn't" he said looking away.

"What remember the number?" she huffed.

"Cora, I didn't. I couldn't"

Her face soften. Was he kidding? No, he has never been a liar.

"That night was the most horrible mistake I ever made" he continued fisting the railing lightly. "I lost everything after that and I felt so disgusted that I couldn't. Not with anyone else. I know we aren't on such terms but-" he looked at her "No one is you. No one could be you so I can't and I won't. Because I don't want to, I am not even tempted and I won't be, I know"

She looked away wiping the tears that had somehow made their way down her cheeks and after a moment she spoke "Robert, you can't do this. This is emotional blackmail"

He rubbed his temple and ran a hand through his hair. He took two steps away from her and then walked back to her, as if readying himself to speak, "Cora, I know, I am sorry for snapping at you earlier, I had no right. Not after what I did. And you of course have every right to be with whoever you want. You deserve to be happy and if I am in the way of your happiness then I will go out of your way"

She couldn't help the tears. Her heart just broke all over again. He can make her so mad at him and then within a second made her heart jump. No, no it wasn't _just_ his fault. How can he be in the way? Doesn't he know, that she doesn't have a way, not yet anyway, she just wants to end the torture. How can he say that? He is so tired and he looks exhausted and he is apparently all alone and what is he going to do? These thought revolved around her mind and she broke down.

He wiped away his own tears. She was crying which means he was in the way. His heart shattered. "Well, it's odd coming from me, but congratulations"

She looked up at him with teary eyes "What?"

"I mean, you're getting married again so good luck. I hope he treats you better"

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "No, I am not"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I told you I just came here to discuss", she said sniffing.

"But you will?"

Please say no, please say no.

"We haven't talked about it but I have a suspicion he'll propose. I know he wants to though"

Dammit.

He nodded and she put her hand on his forearm "I don't know what I will reply"

He looked at her and the chill had made her nose turn red and her cheeks pink. She was so beautiful and it killed him to say this but he loved her too much to be in her way. He can't believe he was saying this but he did. One look at her and he threw what he selfishly hoped out the window.

"Don't stop because of me". He said straightly.

She looked taken aback as if not expecting this. She licked her lower lip and replied after a moment.

"Robert, I have loved you." This was enough to make his head snap in her direction. Her voice started to break "And some part of me always will so it isn't easy for me. I don't know what I want but I don't want to be in this mess any longer." She shook her head as if she was utterly exhausted "So no, it isn't just because of you, it is because of me too."

He knew that she did, of course he knew.

"I know you did and I am sorry for breaking your heart. You didn't deserve this. You deserve better". And he meant this and she knew that.

She took a step closer "And I left you for it. It wasn't just your doing you know? It was my fault too and I am sorry for that."

He smiled through the light tears and she did too.

It was time to break the news. He took a breath and..

"Maybe it is the right time" he finally said.

"Why do you say that?"

"Well-" he said tracing the bricky pattern of the railing. "Well, I assume you will have a plan and maybe you'll get married, maybe not now but in some time and I wouldn't really like being here when it happens"

She chuckled and he continued "So I was going to tell you all this on Sybil's dinner next week but I am glad that I can tell you this alone"

Wait what? Tell her what?

"Tell me what?"

"I am leaving England for some time"

"What, like a vacation?" she said leaning back on the railing.

"No"

Her heart paced faster "Then?"

He looked at her with his baby blue eyes, "I am going to Germany for at least a year"

Her heart came up to her throat. "What?"

"Yes, um I told you we had a development coming, right?" She nodded urging him to go faster.

"Well, I am going there to set the company and that will take some time"

"But-" she couldn't speak properly "But why are you going? Why can't someone else go?"

He looked at the water again, "I am the CEO"

There was more to it, she could tell by the way he bit the inside of his cheek "Robert"

"Yeah" he replied still looking away, suddenly noticing they were the only ones on the bridge.

She gently took a step in front of him, her body tantalizingly close to his. He had to return her gaze. He looked back at her and sighed. He had to tell her of course "I have to get away"

Her heart stopped momentarily.

* * *

 _Ugh, I feel like this chapter is so crappy! I am so sorry if it is, I have read this thrice and I keep adding or deleting stuff. SO sorry if it's a disappointment._


	5. Chapter 5

"What? What do you mean?" she said fighting back another wave of tears. The news somehow made her claustrophobic.

Get away, get away from what? Her throat suddenly felt dry. He was trying to get away from everyone here.

"I need to get away. Cora, I- it's been hell for me and I am not saying it hasn't been for you, I know it has but I went into a black hole and I am still trying to crawl out but failing. A few months ago Edith was talking to Matthew and said that Simon might propose. That killed me and I knew that this was coming soon. The divorce, I mean. Bates was assigned to go to Germany but with Anna pregnant he was reluctant so when I heard that he might propose I volunteered"

She didn't fight back tears this time and nor did he. It hurt her and it hurt him to tell her that. Silence filled the empty bridge and all they could hear was the wind rumbling.

"You're going away because of me?" she let out a sob, looking down.

His heart quenched "No, Cora" he took her hand "Not just because of you, because of everything"

She cried harder. Oh, how he sucked at consoling. What was he thinking saying this? Obviously she would be hurt.

He put a hand on her cheek "Darling, look at me" and so she did. He caressed her cheek from the back of his fingers reminding her of the good old days and she leaned into it.

"It'll be for the good, you know. See, you want to start afresh and well, I, I will be away and that would make everything a little less painful and awkward. I will do the same thing what I do here but I will just be away and to be honest, I'd rather be away when everything happens"

"But, I told you, I am not getting married to him" she spoke, her voice hardly audible. She said throwing her hands lightly into the air as if feeling defeated.

"But we are getting divorced" his voice broke too and she looked at him.

"Robert, I am so-"

"Sshh" he said "Don't apologize to me"

She nodded and took a deep breath.

"A year?"

"Maybe. But it may extend to two or more"

"I am driving you away from all your loved ones, I feel so terrible."

"Cora, you are doing no such thing. This is work and I still may visit. By the looks of it Mary and Matthew are planning to extend their family and I won't miss the birth of our first grandchild"

She smiled at this.

"And we have Skype as well and all those other things Edith keep talking about so it won't feel like that"

Her heart hurt at his explanations, he was never the one to be good at hiding or covering things. She looked into his eyes and grabbed the lapels of his black coat, her gaze intense. There was more to it, she knew him "I know you, Robert Crawley"

His breath caught in his throat. Oh, she didn't buy it. She never did.

"You are going because of me for the sole reason"

He tried to interrupt but she shook her head "And I am so sorry for that." He nodded and she played with the button on his coat. "I don't want to rush" she whispered like a little girl requesting something.

"Well it's your choice, Cora, my life won't change as much as yours will so it's all up to you, and I don't want to hurt you any longer"

Her lips quivered and she rested her head on his chest trying to hide her tears. He wrapped his arms around her and so did she.

"I don't want you unhappy, Robert" Cora said.

"I know"

"What will you do?"

"Go to Germany"

"No, I mean, with your life"

"I don't know. Keep working"

"You shouldn't live alone, you should take someone"

"Will you come?" he joked.

She playfully slapped his arm "Will you be okay?"

"Will you?"

"I don't know. I hope"

"Then I'll manage. You must be cold, Cora. It's freezing."

She smiled nuzzling further into his embrace. "Don't you remember? I am never cold when you're holding me"

"Still?"

"Always. That won't ever change"

He kissed the top of her head in return.

* * *

SORRY for dragging this scene for so long but this scene was what lead me to write all this. Still no idea where it'll head. Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

A week had gone by in a blink of an eye. It had been nice to talk to him. To finally break the ice to some extent after four torturous and awkward years. Robert had been busy at his office as always and Cora at her gallery.

Cora didn't tell Bricker anything further, he did try to push it out of her but she said it's none of his business and also made him sleep in the other room. She needed to clear her head, she needed time to think and she can't possibly do that with Simon next to her, even if he was doing nothing at all other than breathing. She couldn't possibly make him stop doing that so she made him shift to another room. He had looked disappointed, he was probably hoping that Cora would come back confirming the divorce talk with Robert and they would make a night of it. But no, it wasn't like that. Robert had changed, she noticed. Not just physically, but emotionally too.

She knew him well so she could point the differences very well. Physically well, he had dark circles, he had lost weight and his hair line had started to drift back. She knew it was because he was not sleeping well and that he was over tiring himself. Part of her wanted to make him sit and make him eat a whole lasagne and force him to sleep for like two straight days so that he would look like his old self. Robert used to roll his eyes when she pampered him like a mother. He used to say, "Hey I don't remember saying 'I Do' to my mother" and she would just stare at him and that would make him chuckle and he would as always caress her cheek. She loved it when he did that.

Emotionally, well, he had learned to stop letting his temper get the better of him. When they started arguing he just needed a breath to make himself calm, which was good for him because Cora was afraid that they'll end up bringing the whole restaurant out to observe the old married couple shouting their lungs out.

But that didn't mean that it would change anything.

She was still working and she wanted to for a long time and he well, he was just as workaholic. If they get back together they would fall into the same routine because it was hard to manage time and they'll end up in the same position. And he had cheated, she had gone through hell. Robert was the one person she trusted blindly and he betrayed her. He had slept with another woman. The night that she found out about this was a clear painful picture in her brain and even after four years, it hurts as bad as it did before. She can't possibly go through all that again, so yes they needed to proceed with the divorce.

But gosh, she doesn't want to. Can't they just leave it? No, of course they cannot. Divorce would be miserable but it's not like she's having a ball at the moment so they needed to sort it out.

Robert had told her that he'll be gone the next month and then return only to move again after a three months gap and then, well God knows when she will see him again. And that had hurt her. Because she still wanted him around, even if only making an appearance to their children parties, not even talking to her, that would work too but not seeing him completely for a year or maybe even more was a dreadful thought. It felt like they'll be officially drifting away.

She wanted to slap her head, then what does she think divorce is? That too means that they are officially drifting apart. Oh, what a mess.

Right, she had at least two months before she could decide. Robert had given her the game card, the ball was on her side of the court and she was the one who was going to have to play it. She didn't want to keep it hanging very long; she wanted to at least give Robert a proper reply before he goes. And wish him well.

She knew him too well and she knew that he was moving away because of her, no matter what he says. He was the CEO, he didn't have to transfer but obviously it would be hard for him. She wondered if he really meant what he said about there not being anyone else ever. Will he stay alone? God, no, he shouldn't. Robert was strong but everyone needed someone. What will he do?

Cora had a vision of him eating alone in the future years, walking alone, sleeping alone, dying alone.

No, no, no! What is she doing, suddenly she felt a stab in her heart, why would she think that. She blinked back tears that were more than ready to swim out and ruin her makeup. No, she was just being silly and so was Robert. Of course he won't and he will find someone.

Although the thought was enough to make her roll her eyes, she would probably roll her eyes at the mere thought of that other woman breathing and of course she hates her already. Which is natural. Robert probably feels the same about Simon. She wondered how he even copes when Simon is with her in his presence because just the thought of his future someone made her groan. She mentally made a note to keep in check that Simon doesn't cling too much to her tonight, that would be unfair to Robert.

So, the divorce. She didn't want to rush in; she didn't know why because they will have to get it eventually but she wasn't strong enough. Not just yet and he was okay with whenever she wanted. Well, he wasn't okay, he was broken, she was broken and they were basically standing in quicksand but at least he was not arguing. A part of her wanted him to argue, how can he just say yes, but when she thought about it, she knew that he was thinking the same that this would lead them nowhere and it was the mature thing to do.

"Cora?" she heard Simon call out.

She instantly busied herself grabbing a hairbrush to brush her hair. "Yeah?"

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah, I'll be out in a second"

"Alright, I am waiting in the car"

She nodded and she sighed. She wasn't really up to this party but Sybil had been wanting to do a family dinner for ages and well she couldn't say no just because she was unable to make a decision that she already had made but well wasn't prepared to carry it out.

Ugh, she thought. This is all bullshit! She threw her hairbrush on the bed and went out to leave.

* * *

 _Confused Cora, I know. Don't kill me for this, you must know that she has had a really tough time and she isn't really to take another step that could alter her life in a big way, whether it's with or without Robert in her life but she is exhausted and just wants to find a way out of the maze she's been living in for over 6 years._


	7. Chapter 7

"So are we on for Friday night?" Tom asked as he ducked down to grab two bottles of beer.

"Hmm" Robert hummed but his mind was clearly somewhere else.

"Should be fun, it's been a while since the four of us had a boys night, I hope Bates can make it though" added Matthew.

"Yeah, but you know how he fusses over Anna, what do you think Robert, did he say something about coming?" asked Tom as he opened the cap to the bottles and extended his hand to pass one to Robert.

Matthew gulped down his drink as he waited for Robert to respond. Both young men stared at their father in law for a reply.

"Robert? Robert?" Matthew shook Robert's arm.

Robert's attention snapped back to the present, "Yeah?"

Tom chuckled "Where were you?"

"Oh, this and that" he shrugged, not wanting to appear nervous which he really was.

All three men stood in Sybil's lounge as they waited for everyone to arrive for dinner. Well everyone had except Cora and her lollipop faced boyfriend, Simon. Rosamund and the girls were all in the kitchen giving Sybil a hand, Mama and Isobel were chatting quietly in the living room. Everyone was here except Bertie, he had some important business to attend to in Manchester. Now they all waited for Cora and that Bricker to come. Well, to be honest they only waited for Cora but they had to invite Simon, of course. Nobody in the family hated Simon besides Robert, the fact that annoyed Robert to much extent but oh well, whatever. She wasn't their wife. Robert had been nervous all week, he admitted it was lovely to finally open up to Cora and it didn't go as horrible as he thought but nevertheless it had been terribly painful. Cora hadn't given him a proper reply to what she wanted. Well, either way he won't get her back because it's either divorce or separation and none of them really warmed his heart but still, divorce was a big step; it was like a finish line, end of a chapter. He hadn't seen or heard from Cora since the night on the bridge which wasn't unusual of course but after that night he'd been so agitated, he couldn't help but think that Cora would actually tell him today and that the reply would be a divorce. This option carried a fifty percent chance and the thought made his stomach flip. In a way it would be good to know before he went, so that he could actually move on with his new life there but that meant that the decision will be thrown in his face very soon which made Robert tense. But he had to be ready for it, he didn't have any other option so now as the clock ticked, he knew he would see Cora and that face worth slapping accompanying her enter any moment and he wasn't quite sure how to react. A hello? A nod? A hug? He just didn't know.

With that the door bell rung and Robert braced himself to meet Cora.

"I'll get it" said Edith.

Edith opened the door revealing Cora and Simon standing in the door way.

"Hello darling", Cora said as she entered and gave her daughter a kiss.

"Hello Edith" Simon said politely.

Mary, Sybil and Rosamund came out the kitchen to greet them, Matthew and Tom walked towards them to so for the next few minutes Cora and Simon were busy greeting everyone. At last Cora's eyes made contact with his and he felt his knees buckle. She was wearing a pink dress; it was light pink which made Cora look like a fairy. He nodded and she walked towards him. Simon was busy chatting with Isobel at the moment.

"Hey" she said.

"Hello" he awkwardly replied.

"Avoiding me?" she smiled sadly.

He chuckled "No, was just waiting for my turn"

He looked at her politely from head to toe, "You look very pretty"

As if she didn't know herself, she checked herself and smoothed her dress, "Oh, thank you"

"Robert", he heard Simon as he walked towards him and Cora.

"Simon" he nodded and internally groaned.

The fool grinned and then moved towards Cora "Babe, did I leave my wallet with you?" he said placing his hand on the small of her back. Robert resisted the urge to punch his face.

"No, I think you left it in the car" Cora replied giving Simon a small smile.

"Alright, I will get it" he said as he kissed Cora's cheek and went out the door.

Cora bit her lip and furrowed her brow before turning back to face Robert who went pale. "Sorry about that"

He shrugged his shoulders "Quite alright, we all have to cope don't we?"

Cora eyed him understanding the meaning behind his words when Sybil announced "That's dinner everyone" and everyone started moving towards the dining room.

* * *

Dinner went as usual, Violet and Isobel kept talking about the new member of their charity who thinks too much of herself. Edith talked about her column, Cora about her gallery, Mary and Matthew about their new house and the chain went on.

He was glad that Cora was sitting between Mary and Tom; at least she was away from Bricker who was sandwiched between Matthew and Isobel.

"So, Robert, when is Bates going to Germany?" Violet asked.

He noticed Cora froze on her way to take a bite and put down her fork purposely avoiding his gaze. Everyone stared at him and by the looks of it; Simon had no idea about the change in plans or even the initial plan.

Cora stared at her plate whilst everyone else looked at him for a reply.

"But must he? Anna is about to have a baby soon" Sybil commented.

"Bates agreed to go?" Rosamund raised her eyebrows "The kind of fussing husband he is, I am rather surprised"

He noticed Cora taking a sip of her wine.

"Well, he won't be going" Robert finally replied, adjusting his napkin.

A series of 'Oh's' filled the room when he further added "I will"

"What?" Rosamund said.

"Yes, I will"

"But, wasn't Bates transferring for a year?" Mary questioned.

"He was, yes." Everyone waited for him to continue. "He was but as Sybil said, it was unfair that he went with Anna pregnant so I will be. We can't possibly hand this to anyone else, it has to be either Bates or me"

"But, isn't this for a year" Violet asked.

This was the awkward part.

"Yes."

Everyone's gaze shifted from Robert to Cora and back to Robert. Cora was still avoiding his gaze and was trying very hard not to look hurt.

"But, Papa, a year? When will you be leaving?" Edith asked.

"I am going next month for a short trip then I will be back only to leave with a 3 months gap"

Silence, all he could hear was the light click clack of the cutlery and he could actually see Simon trying to suppress his stupid grin. That piece of sh-

His thoughts got interrupted, "We won't see you for a year" Sybil observed sadly.

Nobody really wanted to talk further about this especially when Simon was here.

Violet looked at Cora noticing she was getting extremely uncomfortable, "Well, we can talk about this later, we mustn't spoil our dinner with work talk" Violet laughed the uneasiness off and Cora immediately looked at her, Violet gently nodded, Cora could kiss Mama for this.

After dinner Tom, Matthew and Simon sat watching a football game. Cora sat with the girls when Rosamund and Robert stood near the window talking.

"You shouldn't have just announced at dinner", Rosamund said.

"Meaning?"

"You should have thought of Cora, she was looking disturbed"

"Ros" he waved his hand "Cora knows about this"

"What?", she said as she fiddled with her trifle.

"Yes, she knew about this" he said taking her spoon to take a bite.

Rosamund eyed him "And?" she obviously wanted to know what she said, always a fan of detail, his sister.

Robert rolled his eyes and returned her spoon, "And well what?"

"Robert!" she slightly jumped on her feet, something she had been doing since her childhood.

"And well, yes she was disturbed but she understood"

Rosamund took a bite of her trifle and thought intensely about something, "I know why though" she said looking away.

"What?" he asked her, perplexed.

"You are escaping" she smirked.

"What, that's absurd", is he that easy to be read? Robert as trying not to blush, all the women in his life read him so easily but he wanted to deny it or at least try.

"Oh, don't try to deny it, I have known you since you were born, you used to hide whenever you were sad and you are doing the same now. You're hiding, Little Robbie is running away"

"Oh please" he rolled his eyes, "I am not"

"I am not" Rosamund copied him with a funny voice and he gave her a look and she chuckled.

"GOAAAAL!" Simon's voice grasped everyone's attention. He clearly had had far too many drinks. He looked over to Cora who sighed looking at her boyfriend. Cora had always hated when Robert was drunk so he was sure that she was the same with Simon.

An hour later they all sat chitchatting. Robert kept checking his watch because he had a big day tomorrow and it was already late. Unlike the others, he had a working Saturday. Ugh!

He was half listening to everyone in the room as he sat there observing Cora and that fool who just couldn't keep his hands off his wife. He would touch her knee or wink at her or hold her too close than necessary, It made him grit his teeth, he could see that Cora was very uncomfortable with this public display of affection.

"Oh, it's a beautiful city" Isobel answered Tom who was asking something about Rome.

"I have been dying to visit again but I never had the time" Cora added.

"Oh, that's okay my dear, we shall go there on our honeymoon"

What the actual…

Everyone looked at Simon who was obviously drunk but still the bombshell he dropped was enough to make everyone's head snap. Silence spread to the room, everyone could actually hear the tick tock of the clock.

Robert's heart actually stopped. It literally skipped several beats. He immediately looked at Cora who was staring at Simon and then looked at Robert.

Robert looked like he had been slapped. Why didn't she tell him? Oh, my God, she is getting married!

* * *

"Mama, are you getting married?" Edith asked clearly disturbed but tried hard not to look as she felt.

"Well darling-"

"Of course, I proposed two days ago" Simon added caressing Cora's shoulder grinning like an idiot.

"Well, I didn't-" Cora said trying to get control on Simon's hand.

Oh, no this wasn't right. She could actually slap Simon for this. Yeah he did ask or rather shared his wish to marry her but she didn't take it seriously. He had done that many times, she never took it seriously, he was obviously far too drunk to make conversation at the moment. Speaking in the middle of eating dinner that he wants to be with her forever is hardly a proposal and Cora didn't reply anything to this, of course she knew he wanted to marry her but she didn't say yes or anything but the alcohol really shot right up to his brain, it must have that made him talk rubbish. Absolute nonsense. Ugh, why now.

Cora was looking at Robert who looked like as if he had seen a ghost. And Simon was playing with the bow of her dress, God knows what had gotten into him, he was never like that before, he was probably overjoyed at Robert's news about leaving England.

Cora gave Simon a harsh look and started speaking, "Well, I didn't –"

"Excuse me" Robert stood up and went out to the garden.

Cora placed her glass on the table and ran after him.

* * *

 _Oh well! Sorry for the late update. I have been really busy and have really lost the motivation to write omg. I don't know where to go with this story...let's see!_


	8. Chapter 8

"Robert. Robert!" she called out his name as she followed him out to the garden.

She saw his back. She moved a bit further and then saw a lighter in his hand. He was smoking.

"Robert" she gulped and moved to stand near him. She gave him a moment and observed him as he took in a long smoke and exhaled it. His forehead was furrowed and he was avoiding her gaze.

"You're smoking" she stated.

"Hm" he replied still avoiding her gaze.

"Don't. Please, Robert"

Robert had never been a smoker but when his father died and all the work burden came on him whilst he was still nursing his broken heart, he started smoking. Not just one or maybe even two smokes a day but full packs. He would smoke all the time and it had taken him so many months to quit the habit and he did it just because of Cora. Cora had been telling him to stop but he didn't, but after months and months of begging he finally did stop and for good. He hadn't smoke a cigarette in a very long time and Cora was so relieved and Robert was too, he was glad he had quit but now he was smoking again and Cora's heartbeat paced faster.

"Robert, you don't need it"

He still avoided her and Cora took a deep breath and moved two steps to stand in front of him. She moved her hand to his mouth and plucked out the cigarette, thankfully he didn't resist. Cora crushed it under her shoe and stood there looking at the ashes.

"Robert, you were doing so good, you quit it and you-"

"Why didn't you tell me?!" he snapped back and glared at her.

"Robert he didn't know what he was saying" she said biting her lip.

"But he did propose, you should have told me that" he scrubbed his hands on his face and walked two steps away and then back.

"He didno-"

"I knew this would happen but you could have at least told me. I sat there like an idiot who didn't know that his wife is off to marry someone else"

Cora took a deep breath "Listen, look at me" she said and he did. "He didn't propose, he didn't really. He said he wanted me in his life long term, I know that and he had said this many times. That does not really count as a proposal and I didn't reply to that either"

He sighed and looked down at his feet, running a hand through his hair he replied.

"You don't need to explain yourself, this would have happened anyway" he said lowering his voice.

"No but I need to, you should know that this isn't picnic for me either" she walked a step towards him.

The gentle wind hit his nose and he had a sudden urge to wrap himself in a blanket and sleep for three straight days.

He looked at her and sighed "Why did he say that then?" he sounded so broken and Cora's heart skipped a beat.

"He's drunk, he didn't know what he was saying. Gosh, I wonder what the girls think oh, my God" she said biting her lip.

He smiled sadly "Cora?"

"Hm?" she replied paying half attention, her mind was at the girls.

"I am sorry I snapped at you"

She looked at her and smiled a little "Considering what happened inside, you had every right to. And I am sorry too, he doesn't drink much, I don't know what happened to him today"

Robert bit the inside of his cheek "Does he smoke?"

Cora half heard "No" then she realized "Robert" she bit her lip "This isn't a competition. You both are very different people"

"And you prefer him" he said looking down, trying to hide his pain.

"You know it's not like that"

"Let's go in, I should be leaving anyway" he said not wanting to discuss this further.

"Why so suddenly?"

"I have work tomorrow"

"Oh" she nodded.

"Well I'll say my goodbye now"

She furrowed her brow "Well I'll be gone next month and I doubt we will meet again for the rest of the month unless of course you have made your decision"

She nodded "I haven't, but I will tell you before you go, I promise"

"No rush"

They stood there awkwardly.

"Take care of yourself" she said.

"I will, don't worry about me"

"Still and would you.."

"What?"

"Would you send me an email, when you've reached? Otherwise I'll worry"

He understood "Of course"

He nodded and started moving towards the house when he heard Cora call out his name "Robert?"

"Yes?" he said turning back.

She sighed and walked towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. Her lavender scent immediately attacked his nostrils and he sighed as well, wrapping his arms around her waist. She immediately relaxed in his arms and sighed again. He wanted to run his fingers through her soft hair but he didn't dare.

After a few moments she spoke, still hugging "I am really sorry"

"Cora, he is drunk, it's okay, I didn-"

"No. For driving you away, I am really sorry"

"You're no-"

"Sshh, hush Robert"

He knew she knew it which made the situation even more bittersweet. She was the only person in the world who totally understood him.

"And would you do one thing for me?"

"Yes?"

"Don't smoke, please"

He sighed "I don't usually"

"Robert, you promised me"

He let out a sad chuckle "We promised a lot of things"

She hid her face deeper in his chest "Please" she said like a little girl and Robert couldn't say no to this. Not to her.

"I will try"

He hugged her a little tighter before letting her go. He gave her a smile and they walked back to the house.

* * *

 _I have become one clumsy writer, haven't I? Oh, dear! So I am not sure how I should head to where I am planning to so be patient with me, please. I have a storyline, but I have so many ideas to how I want to reach it, so I'll need time! And those of you asking, yes I am the McGonneville account on Instagram/Tumblr. Have a lovely week and oh, Happy McGonneville Monday, hehe!_


	9. Chapter 9

The next few days passed by in a blur, Robert kept himself busy, arranging everything for his departure. Cora kept herself busy as well. After Simon's horrible behavior at the dinner at Sybil's she made sure that he paid the price, his behavior was intolerable.

The next day after the dinner when Simon had sobered up a bit, Cora gave him a smack down.

 _"_ _Do you realize how pathetic it was?" she glared at him as he sat on the sofa rubbing his temple. His hangover not completely gone. Cora standing in front of him with her hands on her hips._

 _"_ _I am sorry Cor-" he started. Cora groaned, she didn't like when he called her Cor. Robert used to call her Cor, she didn't want anyone else to call her that._

 _Simon noticing her groan rubbed his hands on his face "Look, it's happened now, I apologized, now let go of it, please"_

 _Cora rolled her eyes "No I will not. I didn't say anything to you regarding us getting married and in front of the children, God Simon and Mama and Isobel-" She ran her hands through her hair taking a deep breath "God knows what they think of me and my son-in-laws, God, Simon, do you know how much you embarrassed me!?"_

 _"_ _Babe, I am sorry-"_

 _"_ _No, don't even-just, stay away"_

 _He stood up now "But what about the movie, don't you want to go?"_

 _"_ _Oh to hell with the movie, I need some time"_

 _She started to walk back to her room when she heard him "You're really overreacting, everyone was fine, even_ _ **your husband**_ _"_

 _Cora's blue eyes now pierced through him and he gulped sensing another storm "_ _ **My husband**_ _was far from okay and don't try to sugarcoat the situation. Robert was so shocked; it was so unfair to him"_

 _Simon didn't like her tone "Oh for heaven's sakes Cora, it's not such a big deal, you were going to get a divorce anyway, it's not like he didn't knew about it"_

 _"_ _Excuse me?" She walked closer to him "First you ruined a delightful evening for my family then you embarrass me and yourself, you put everyone in such an uncomfortable position and now you're telling me it's not a big deal, God you can be so stupid at times and I might not divorce him, then what, huh?"_

 _Simon huffed, "Of course you will, you said so yourself remember"_

 _Damn it, she did._

 _"_ _I might not" she said lightly._

 _Simon walked towards her and grabbed her arms caressing it, it was kind of creepy. Cora somehow felt uneasy, his tone was so…smooth, it made her stomach churn._

 _"_ _Of course you will" He looked into her eyes "I love you, we're good together, we're a team, we are meant to be"_

 _Cora gulped, he always did this to her emotionally, but it wasn't his love confessions that blackmailed her, it was a reminder at what stage she really was, on a verge on getting a divorce from someone she's loved over two decades and on the brink of almost marrying someone who claimed to love her, who actually understood her work and lifestyle, was from her world, all of this just made her claustrophobic._

 _"_ _I can't deal with this right now" She aired up her mouth and took a deep breath. She started to walk back to her room._

 _"_ _Oh, Cor, babe listen-"_

 _"_ _Don't call me Cor" she shouted back "And stay away, sleep in the guest room"_

So Simon was put at arm's length. A few more days were spent in the same routine, Cora still a bit rough with Simon, he was starting to get irritated but she didn't care, she had other things to deal with.

Cora was so busy that she had forgotten about the date when Robert was supposed to leave. She only ever realized when she was sorting out some paperwork in her office when her phone beeped; she chewed the back of her pen as she flicked the screen to see the message. It was an email.

 _Hi, Cora._

 _Hope you're well. You asked me to tell you when I land in Germany so here we go. Right now I am in a hotel, it's pretty nice, I have a few meetings and then the manager for this branch we'll be working in will take me for a house hunt. His name is Charles Carson, I haven't met him yet but I have heard he is very efficient…and English, thank God! There are quite a few lovely places but I have to see them myself first_

 _It's freezing here and the jet lag is bad, all I want to do is crawl into the bed and sleep but oh well, have to get up sometime._

Cora closed her eyes, she remembered when Robert used to come back home after long journeys, he would whine like a baby, he hated travelling, especially air rides. Cora used to run her fingers through his hair as he used to lie on her lap humming in response to her soothing touch. Then after a while he would either sleep on her lap or open his eyes to find her staring down at him, and then he would pull her arm, grab her neck gently from behind and bring his lips to her. Those were some of the sweetest kisses they had ever shared. All the tension would somehow escape and they would remain in the same position, with their hands tangled. Those were the good days of their marriage. They both understood each other, supported each other, loved each other so much but that time, they used to say it, show it They both knew they were lucky, so lucky but with time they took each other for granted, didn't appreciate, didn't cuddle up like this and then suddenly they became the married couple who searched for a common topic to discuss over dinner.

Oh, she felt another pang in her heart. They ruined everything. She wiped the stray tear that fell down her eyes and continued reading.

 _Good luck with the gallery, I am sure it'll be wonderful and I hope you find the painting you were looking for by the time I return. Take care of yourself._

 _I will too._

 _Robert._

* * *

He was gone. He will be back in a few weeks but it felt so strange. She would have liked to meet him before he went but she had forgotten. Shoot! And even if she had, she wouldn't have known what to say. She would have burst into tears again causing another scene, it was better this way. Yes, it was. But she should have remembered when he was leaving. She did blame herself for the divorce as well, she was selfish too and she felt selfish now. Is she that bad? What happened to her? She should have learned by now. Is she so caught up in her life that she neglects everyone? No, she isn't, she was just busy. Another message beeped on her phone and it distracted her from her thoughts, thankfully.

 _Hey, Mama, I am near your gallery, lunch?_

It was Mary, she quickly replied a 'Yes, see you in 15 minutes' and took her bag and exited the gallery.

* * *

Mary waved at her from her seat at the restaurant and Cora smiled and walked towards her.

"Hello, darling" Cora kissed her cheek.

"Hi, Mama"

"Have you been waiting long?" Cora sat down opposite her.

"No just 10 minutes, I ordered for us both"

Cora raised an eyebrow and Mary shrugged "The usual"

Cora chuckled softly. "How is Matthew?"

"Fine but very busy, remember that new case I told you about?"

Cora nodded "That construction company one?"

"Yes, that one. He is very busy with that, he works all the time, the other night he started talking about embezzlement in some accounts of the material in his sleep"

Cora laughed "He is a workaholic. Your father is too and I remember he talked in his sleep quite a few times himself, always when there was overload of work but I couldn't understand what he used to say, he usually mumbled"

"Sounds like Papa"

Cora laughed again.

The waiter came in with their food and they digged in. Mary cleared her throat.

"He went to Germany yesterday after breakfast"

Cora nodded and she took a bite of her chicken salad "I know, he emailed me"

"And?"

"And what?"

Mary raised her eyebrow and asked "Well did you give him an answer?"

"To the mail?" Cora was confused.

Mary rolled her eyes "No, Mama about the divorce"

Cora took a sip of water, Mary was never the one to let go of details. "We decided to wait until I decide"

"What about that scene your boyfriend caused at dinner that night?"

Cora rolled her eyes, "I did talk to your father about it, don't worry and before you ask, Simon is still prohibited from my room"

A few minutes passed in silence "Mama, can I ask you something?"

"I know you will" Cora said sarcastically.

Mary resisted the urge to roll her eyes again, "Why are you making him wait?"

"Meaning?"

"I mean you do you want to get a divorce and by the looks of it you and Simon already have plans and-"

"Mary, it wasn't-"

Mary raised her hand slightly "I am just saying, if you have decided, why are you waiting and for what?"

Cora looked down and adjusted her napkin "I haven't yet"

Mary started to speak but the waiter came to clear the plates giving few more seconds to Cora to clear her head. When he left, Mary continued.

"Do you want to get back with Papa?" she asked.

Cora took a sharp breath, if this question was asked her few years before she might have said yes "I can't" she almost whispered, keeping her gaze outside the window.

"Then why?"

Cora huffed "Mary why are you so keen on getting us divorced?"

"Oh Mama, you know what I mean"

She did, that was the issue.

"I of all people would be thrilled to see you two together again but that isn't happening right?" Cora looked at her. It felt like Mary was her mother.

"So why keep him waiting, you know Papa, he will get hope from this and he will get his heart broken all over again"

 _Oh, Robert!_

Cora held back the little tears that threaten to swim out.

"I am just worried about him, I am not being insensitive. This whole Germany thing might be a blessing in disguise for him"

Cora got curious "Meaning?"

"It'll be a new start for him; he can start his life again. Oh, Mama, did you see him the other day, he looked so pale" Mary bit her lip in tension.

Oh, he did. He wasn't just pale, he was tired, he had eye bags, he had lost hair and weight and his forehead lines deepened and oh, her heart ached again.

"If this is a chance for him to start anew, to live again then why not just let it be? You both have been miserable for so many years now; you might get married but what about him? Mama, please, I don't want to interfere but the other day when I saw him, oh, Mama, I love you both-I really do, I don't say it often, I know but I want you two to be happy even if that means you won't be together. I am sorry to intrude but I hope you know what I'm trying to say. I know this is just as hard for you, I am not saying it's easy for you in anyway but you see, you have a way to escape, you may have a destination through this but Papa is standing in the dark"

Cora's eyes became glassy and she sniffed as the tears rolled down her face. She quickly wiped them away. The secret fear that she so hardly hid deep inside started to creep back.

She was being selfish. She really was. Even Mary thought so and she was sure everyone else did too and poor Robert, she had no right to wreck his life. She was just afraid and she was hurt obviously, her heart still throbbed painfully at the thought of getting a divorce from him but she just have to deal with it. Her lack of decision making skills was hurting everyone she loved. She loved Robert, a part of her always will, he was her prince, she was sure to spend their old years cuddled up together by the fire but that didn't happen and it wasn't going to. She was being selfish.

* * *

After lunch, Cora sat in her car in the parking lot. She didn't turn the car on, she kept biting her nails.

Anxiety.

Her heart paced faster. She choked out; she let her tears flow down shamelessly. She cried and cried until her head ached, she unconsciously hit the horn which brought her out of her painful thoughts. She took out her phone and scrolled the contact list.

 _William Rogers, Divorce Attorney_.

* * *

 _If you want to kill me, that's fine, I totally understand._

 _A slightly longer chapter to make up for my clumsiness. Love you all! Please review._


	10. Chapter 10

Cora sat down on a comfortable leather black chair in the office of her attorney. His assistant led her in and told her that Mr. Rogers will be in soon. She tapped her fingers on the mahogany table in front of her. She took a deep breath, 123. Again. 123.

After lunch with Mary, she called her divorce lawyer and arranged an appointment for the next day. She didn't know a thing about the process of divorce but she had to start somewhere. She didn't tell anyone that she had decided to meet a lawyer, it wasn't the lawyer Simon had told her about, she wasn't comfortable knowing that the man in front of her can disclose things to Simon, although there was a whole thing about confidentiality with the client but still, she wasn't about to meet him. She was told about this lawyer by her mother about two years back, she had saved the number but never bothered about it until yesterday. She just came here to talk about the process, to think about her next move. She won't allow any sort of papers to be drawn before she had told Robert herself. When Simon accidently said that she was about to marry him, the look on Robert's face shook her. He went through the motions of surprise, shock; a look of betrayal was painted on his face, then disappointment, heart break and then anger. She knew his expressions too well. That had hurt her and made her tremble. So she won't do anything about it until she had told him face to face. He deserved that. But she had to start somewhere; the guilt of wrecking his already wrecked life was too much to bear.

She readjusted herself on the chair and looked around the office. White plain walls, mountains of very neatly assembled paperwork, two fountain pens, one family photo, few lilies almost dying in a vase placed next to the photo, two chairs, a desk and that was it. Dull, boring and lifeless. How awkward must it be to be a divorce lawyer, separating people, ending marriages? Not every marriage was like theirs of course but still it was sad, ending the vows to love and support each other till death. Cora was not a very traditional person but she was a bit sentimental about relationships and she didn't hide the fact that she was, she thought everyone should be.

 _"Putting a heart in the cold, heartless English people are you?" Robert once said as he helped her wash the dishes few years ago._

 _He was looking adorable, with his sleeves rolled up, grinning like a fool wearing an off white shirt on a Thursday night. Robert washed the dishes and Cora dried them and placed them back in the cupboard. They both used to help each other and support each other back then. They both used to come back exhausted but knew the other was in the same state so they both willingly helped each other_.

Cora sighed thinking back at the memory.

 _Cora rolled her eyes as he passed her a fork after he had cleaned it up. "Well, sometimes I feel I was destined to be a part of this family for various reasons"_

 _"Oh, yeah? What are they, pray tell?"_

 _Cora smirked as she dried the forks with the napkin, "Well, of course you needed me for the money"_

 _This time, Robert rolled his eyes. Their marriage was out of love, it was, but it was even more fitting when Grantham Holdings was having some trouble paying its shareholders, Cora willingly invested money, quite a lot of it because she believed in Robert and believed in Patrick. That was sometime after their engagement and even when the marriage was out of love; she always teased him about it._

 _Looking at his eye roll, Cora giggled and continued as she started setting the cutlery and the china in the cupboard "And well there's the money, then there's the fact that you all needed a heart" She laughed now._

 _Robert dried his hands with a paper towel and his heart soared at her beautiful laugh. He smiled but continued playing with her "I already had a heart, missy"_

 _"Oh please" Cora said as she stood on her little toes to put the plates in the upper cabinet "Robert Crawley did not know how to deal with a heart before I came in the scene"_

 _"Excuse me? I am a very romantic person" he said leaning back against the shelf._

 _"Now, yes, you are. Because of me"_

 _Robert raised his eyebrows as Cora smirked and continued placing the china back. She knew she was annoying him, she loved annoying him. Robert admired her and his heart started beating faster just looking at her, even years later he still couldn't believe that this goddess was his. Cora Crawley was his wife. A lump formed in his throat, lately he's been missing her, he didn't dare say it but he did however on the other hand he was so proud of her working and living her dream. She was perfect and she deserved that._

 _Cora felt his hands snake around her waist and she knew what he was about to do._

 _"Robert, I know what, Rob- NOOOO, stop, it tickles Robert!"_

 _Robert had started tickling her and she was fighting his strong arms but she was too weak in front of him. Robert started laughing as she unsuccessfully tried to flee._

 _She started giggling and screaming and Robert let out a throaty laugh at her reactions. After a few minutes, he stopped and gave her a moment to recover her breathing. She tilted in his arms and playfully slapped his chest, this little exertion added to her natural blush and she looked even more beautiful, if that was even possible._

 _Robert held her tightly against the shelf and kissed the top of her head, she snaked her arms around his neck "You are a terrible man, Robert Crawley"_

 _"I thought now I was a romantic man. Does that make me terribly romantic?"_

 _Cora huffed at his pathetic joke and looked into his eyes._

 _"Cora?"_

 _"Hmm" she said playing with his curls at the back of his head._

 _"I am a heartless man"_

 _"No, baby you are not, I was only joking"_

 _"But you have my heart, I am heartless. You were destined to take my heart as well, and I am more than glad you have"_

 _Cora gave him her stunning smile "Good"_

 _He kissed the tip of her nose and she scrunched it after, making her look more adorable._

 _"So milady, I've done the washing and I put my shoes back in the rack"_

 _Cora rolled her eyes, she hated his habit of leaving shoes at different places around the house and then he would whine when he couldn't find them._

 _"Anything else?" he asked._

 _"Hmmmm. Well your darling American wife had to deal with too many cold, heartless English people today" she smirked "Now she would like to just go to bed with the man who owns her heart, please" she kissed his cheek and laid her head on his chest._

 _Robert rubbed her back up and down, giving her a moment "Come on then" he said but she didn't move._

 _Robert knew what she wanted "Oh, alright then" he said and Cora giggled. Robert scooped her up in his arms and Cora grinned "That's my boy"_

 _"Give your slave a tip at least" he pouted._

 _She leaned closer to his ear "If you take me to bed, I'll give you more than just a tip"_

 _Robert's eyes lit up and he practically ran to the bedroom. Cora laughed out loud._

"Mrs. Crawley" a deep throaty voice interrupted her thoughts and she moved her head to look at the man. Tall, dark, with very prominent features.

Cora stood up and shook his hand awkwardly. Usually she would say "Nice to meet you" to any other person but this was a divorce lawyer…um no.

He sat down opposite her "Sorry to keep you waiting, but I assume you're the daughter of Mrs. Levinson"

"I am, yes"

He nodded, "So what brings you here?"

She looked at him for a second and swallowed the lump in her throat "I wanted to file for a divorce" she managed to say, somehow.

* * *

 _Let's just say, calm before the storm! Haha, I actually wanted to give a glimpse of how things were a few years back, like literally the start of when he started to miss her, but was trying and helping. The start of when it all went wrong. But anyway I actually intended to type out the conversation with the lawyer in this chapter but it would have been too long and after the last chapter I had received quite a few broken hearted and tear faced emojis so enjoy a little fluffy flashback for now. LOVE YOU ALL, have a great weekend and PLEASE review, that is the only thing that keeps me motivated._


	11. Chapter 11

"Of course, no worries" he took out a pen and opened his laptop and Cora felt a sudden panic, he was just going to do it like that? So casually and what, right now?!

"No, no" she spoke before she had time to think about it.

Mr. Rogers immediately looked at her and she flushed in embarrassment.

"I mean" she coughed, "I'd like to know about the process at the moment, I don't want to file right now"

"Oh, yes of course of course, I was just going to take full details from you, like how long you've been married, any other legal documents you've signed, an requests about the shares etc etc"

"Oh" she sighed, she really needed to stop embarrassing herself.

"Well?" Mr. Rogers set his hand ready on the laptop and asked for her account and so she started telling him. She told him about her happy marriage of two decades and then why they got divorced and that they've been on friendly terms for the past four years. Also that there is no issue of child custody as their children are all grown-ups, she told him that they both thought it was time for a divorce and she also mentioned about the very large investment she made in his company and the terms that they were signed on.

"Ah, Mrs. Crawley, it's not going to be a tough divorce.." You think, she thought "As the other party is not putting up a fight against it"

"Oh" she said, panic rising again. Was it all that easy?

"But, the thing with your investment, you see as you said the contract was based on your union so it won't be a hurdle exactly but it can prolong the proceedings. I will need to look at the exact terms of the contract in case we can avoid it but if not then we will have to talk to Mr. Crawley's lawyer and you both would need to sign statements which would formally erase the necessity to be married and then we would have to get it approved by the judge so it will be a while"

Cora listened with her breath caught in her throat. Golly, this was nerve-wracking.

"How long will it take, exactly?"

"Um, approximately 5-6 months, if everything goes smoothly, you'll be asked to sign by the end of the second month to formally start with the proceedings, it would officially be the application of the divorce and then once in the fifth month and then you'd have to wait another two to three weeks to finalize it"

"Oh" she looked down on her lap and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"But if you want to hurry.." Mr. Rogers started

"No" she immediately replied "No, that's fine, I will talk to my husband and then make an appointment with you, thank you for your time"

nodded and she stood up to shake his hand and fled out of the room.

Cora's feet didn't stop until she locked herself in her car. She took deep breaths to calm herself, she was so nervous. She took out a water bottle from her bag and finished half a litre bottle in four big sips. She decided she didn't want to tell anyone about it yet, not before she had talked to Robert. She started the car and headed to her house.

* * *

It had been two weeks since Robert had arrived in Germany. Charles Carson to his good fortune had turned out as efficient as he could be and Robert was glad about it. It took him a week to get adjusted to the new surroundings and the fact that he knew no one around was a bit disturbing but he pretended he was completely at ease with the transition in front of his new colleagues. Typical Englishman, he thought to himself and chuckled. Charles Carson had settled him in, he wasn't exactly the most friendly and chatty person but he was efficient and knew the answers to all his questions so Robert was most glad about it. His office was in the center of Berlin, a very busy area but thankfully his house was at the East side, it was lovely there and he cheered up looking at the surroundings, it was a beautiful place. His house wasn't that big, but it was comfortable and fancy enough for his taste. The jet lag had been bad but he did start work on his fourth day there so he transited into the schedule easily. It had been a really busy two weeks, he felt as exhausted at the end of each day as he was when his father died, but it was mostly paperwork to mark his shift and officially start business there so he knew it was only another week or two till he goes home. His actual work would start three months later when everything was set ready for the company to start, then he would have to come and live for quite some time and work like a madman to make it a success here. It wasn't bad, he thought as he switched the channels on the tv in his new living room, it was good, it was a start. He had left everything up to Cora so all that came under him was simple work and wait. The people in his office were surprised when they found out that the CEO himself had transferred, to be honest, he didn't need to, there were some other candidates who were perfect for the task but he didn't know what the future will hold. His future with his wife and he needed at least somewhere to escape in case he gets ditched. So, he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp.

He sighed remembering when Cora used to do it when he used to lay on her lap.

 _My poor baby_ , she used to say stroking his cheek

 _"_ _Thanks so much for this, it always helps" he used to reply with his eyes closed._

 _"_ _No problem, darling, I'm always here" she used to reply in her sweet voice_.

But she wasn't. Their 'always' never made it through.

He had never been more afraid of the future.

* * *

Three weeks had gone since her talk with the lawyer and his firm voice still echoed in her head. All of this was just too simple which made her feel nauseous. It was all so sad because it was all too easy. She had had a lazy day, she didn't have much to do but still she was pretty tired. Getting old she thought as she lay on her bed on a Saturday night flipping through a book she was unenthusiastically reading. She hadn't heard from Robert since his email three weeks earlier and she was not ready for him to come back, not yet anyway, because his coming back meant no more delaying of _THE talk_ and that terrified her. Of course it was all too obvious it would happen and they had talked about it but now she had decided and she had to tell him and then he would have to go on with his life. Just the thought of looking at his expressions made her stomach churn, she cared for him, a part of her still loved him and always will and hurting the people you love is never a fun job, it's horrible but that was something she had to do. It was already in her mind's frame, his jaw slacking, his blue eyes widing and losing their colour and then he would look away and swallow the lump in his throat, oh, God this was all so terrifying, she was going to meet him to stab his heart again, but what other option did she have? He deserved to know from her mouth but hurting him hurt her, it actually hurt her and she knew why, in the end he was still her first love, her husband of almost three decades, he was a good man, a great man, one of the best she knew so she needed to stop hurting him and to do that, to let him move on with his life, to free him of this mess, she had to hurt him one last time. Cora took a breath and let out a huff and immediately heard the door of the bathroom unlock, she settled down on the bed wanting to look more tired than she actually was. She had been keeping Simon at arm's length, he was being patient and she knew it was kind of a wrong thing to do but she already had so many tensions on her shoulders, having sweet talk or having sex were the last things on her mind. She wanted to sleep, she just wanted to sleep.

Simon entered the room and grinned at her; she gave him a small smile and moved her body so that her back was facing him. It was Saturday and she knew what he wanted from her, but she was in no mood. She heard Simon shift the cover and settle down beside her. She knew what he was going to do and so he did, he shifted and kissed her neck and she shifted more towards her side.

"Babe" he kissed her cheek "you smell so nice" he touched her arm to make her face him but she resisted.

She sighed in irritation, she was being unreasonable…well kind of but seriously, she didn't want to.

"Not tonight" she said burying her face more into the pillow. Simon still half hovered on her and she could feel his disappointing eyes on her.

"Come on, it's been weeks. Seriously it's been so long" he said, trying to keep calm.

"I know" she said feeling awkward "But I can't, not now, it's all very difficult for me"

Simon sat up straighter on the bed and she sighed in relief, at least he was not hovering on her body. "But I don't understand why you're being so sad, I mean I know divorce isn't a pleasant process but it would mean we're one step ahead of being married" Not again, she thought. "We could finally be together and there is no sign of any enthusiasm from your side"

"Simon" she said rolling over "Look I haven't even decided if I will file for a divorce" she lied "And no it's no fun for me, it is difficult for me and I don't have the time or the energy to do anything so please understand that I need space" she said it all in a flow.

She looked at him, disappointment etched on his face. "I don't get you sometimes, Cora"

 _I know you, Cora Crawley. I know you more than you know yourself, I know you to be the most amazing person…_

Robert's voice echoed inside her head and her heart skipped a beat. Yes, he knew her, he knew her too well, he was her best friend after all.

"Well then it's not my fault" she hurriedly kissed his cheek, it barely touched his cheek, it was such a pity kiss. "Goodnight" she said, rolling over and switching off the lamp on her side before he had a chance to utter a word.

* * *

Cora stopped outside Grantham Holdings and entered the building. The guard immediately nodded an enthusiastic and a bit scared "Good morning, Mrs. Crawley" she wished him in reply and entered the building. She needed to get collect some cheques of her shares. She went to Robert's department and asked his very nice assistant Laura for her cheques. She immediately went to fetch them and Cora tapped her fingers on the desk.

She heard a voice she was familiar with and turned her head to meet him. John Bates called out to her and she smiled.

"Cora", he said, kneeling in to kiss her cheek in greeting "How are you?"

"I am good, Bates, you?"

"Good, good"

"And Anna, is she well? It's almost time"

Bates grinned in enthusiasm "Oh, yes, she is very well, nervous but well"

Cora smiled "It's only natural"

"I suppose it is" A young clerk passed by and handed Bates some papers and he hurriedly signed them. "So what is new with you?"

Cora tucked a strand of hair behind her ear "Oh, you know, the gallery keeps me busy"

"Oh, yes, when is the opening of the new one?"

"In a month's time, I'll send out the invitations soon"

Bates handed the papers back to the clerk, smiling at Cora "Oh, must be exciting and oh-" He turned his head to face the clerk "Listen Bob, make sure the driver is at the airport to pick Sir by 9pm sharp, the flight lands at 9 and I bet he'd be exhausted"

"Of course, Sir" Bob nodded and hurried away with the papers.

Bates looked back at Cora and smiled and Cora looked back at him with a slightly confused expression.

"Sir?" she asked, wondering which boss of Bates is coming. She didn't know there was anyone else besides Robert.

"Yeah well I don't like to call him Robert in front of the staff" Bates winked at her but Cora's expressions remained still.

"What?" Robert wasn't coming back, she didn't know when but surely she would have found out when, right?

"What?" Bates replied.

"Wait, who has to be picked up by the airport tonight?"

Bates chuckled "Robert, of course, that old fella is finally coming back after a month" Cora didn't have time to react as Laura came back with the cheques and Bates' phone rang and he waved her a goodbye and attended his call.

Robert was coming back. Tonight.

She didn't know that. He was coming back home after a month.

Tonight. Her breathing quickened as she walked towards the elevator.

* * *

 _A very hurried kind of a chapter but I had a feeling it was dragging a bit and it would be boring for you all. Nothing much in this crappy chapter but I had to show at least something of the two when he was away. I didn't write too much of detail in this as I'm pretty sure you'd be bored by it. Remember Robert is back but not for good and his coming back meant **THE TALK** and the thought isn't very pleasant, is it? Oops! Sorry for this very crappy chapter, all mistakes are mine but please do review. _

_P.s: I am off to watch THAT episode, the one with She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named or better known as **THAT MAID,** the one where my baby is writhing in pain and Mr .Donk is in the next room with..._

 _Oh well, wish me luck, I have never seen that dressing room/library scene properly, it makes my blood boil. Stupid Donk, ugh. Anyways, end of random talk, I'd probably be back to my 'WHY ROBERT WHY' stage soon and rant out on my Instagram/Tumblr haha, have a lovely weekend. Do review, babies! xoxo_


	12. Chapter 12

_Cora unlocked the front door and entered her house which was already fully lit. She was exhausted and upset. She was angry, she was so angry. She had made a 3 hour long flight to Rome to look at a painting she had been pending to study. The gallery, her degree, it was all too much pressure but she had taken out time to visit Rome but the visit was not at all how she had imagined, she didn't have nearly enough time to study it properly, she had miscalculated, it was her own fault, she thought she could do it but she couldn't and now she went there and wasted a great opportunity. Damn it! She was due to meet a certain Mr. Antonio who would have briefed her on the painting but for some reason he couldn't make it, some family trouble and she couldn't delay the trip, so in the end nor did she have ample time to study it herself, she couldn't even meet this Mr. Antonio. This trip to Rome was something she had been dying for. Robert had said that she was working too much, he had hinted it many times and she knew she was but this was important, she had argued with Robert the day before she left saying 'It is very important' that 'This visit could do wonders' for her career and he understood. He didn't really, he was in a bad mood all day but he said alright and she thought she would make up to him after she had returned but the trip was basically good for nothing as she didn't have time to do what she had to, nor did she have time to do a bit of touring, all there was to it was lack of sleep, miscalculation and a missing Mr. Antonio. Ugh! Stupid. And now she was back after having delayed another project just for this wretched trip and now she will have to pull all nighters to complete it. It was all such a mess. She was in a bad mood and she had every right to be. And why on earth was the whole house lit? Was she the only one who cared about global warming? Rolling her eyes she entered her house._

 _Loud volume. Not, again. The television was on too loud. She set her bags aside and ran a hand through her hair, the migraine creeping in. She removed her jacket and draped it over the nearest chair and entered the lounge room._

 _The tv was on too loud and Robert was sleeping on the couch. The lounge was a mess, he clearly enjoyed having no one to tell him to clean up. Half eaten take away's were spread in boxes on the table in front of the couch, bottle of beer, actually beers, shoes still where they should never be, loud volume and a sleeping Robert. Despite the exhaustion and the mess she smiled at his sleeping form. She would have been mad at him if he were awake but he was sleeping and he looked so adorable, with his hair mussed, his mouth half open, she chuckled at him. She grabbed the remote placed next to him and turned the tv off. Silence, oh bliss. With a sigh, she started repacking the boxes and she accidently hit her naked toe against the table._

 _"Damn it!" she cursed._

 _Robert awoke at the sound of it "Cora" he jerked up, rubbing his eyes._

 _Cora still had a few boxes in her hands and her face was screwed up badly due to the pain._

 _Robert stood up and took the boxes from her, "Give me those" he placed them back on the table._

 _"When did you come back?" he asked looking at her, clearly she was upset about something._

 _"Just now" she said rubbing her temple._

 _"You were supposed to come back tomorrow" he said._

 _"I know that!" she snapped, she didn't wanted to._

 _"Darling, what is it?" he asked as he put his hands on her arms and started rubbing up and down._

 _"Oh, Robert, it was horrible. I just wasted these 3 days for nothing, that man didn't show up-"_

 _"Mr. Anthony?"_

 _"Antonio! And I didn't have the time to study it myself very deeply and now I am panicking because I wasted these days and I have that damned project due in a few days"_

 _Robert gave her a moment, "I am sorry" and pulled her in for a hug. Cora leaned into Robert, oh her happy place._

 _Just then Cora had time to look at the table again "Robert" she pulled "How much did you drink?" she asked looking at the table._

 _"Just a few" he said looking down. Cora gave him a look and he said "Alright, more than a few, but it's not like I drink all the time. It was just this once"_

 _"Robert, you've been drinking too much lately. First the smoking now this-"_

 _"I haven't smoked a cigarette in years, Cora!"_

 _"-But the drinks, Robert!"_

 _"Look, I was tired and I couldn't sleep so I drank a bit"_

 _Cora tried to calm down "How many did you drink while I was away?"_

 _"Cora, seriously, stop it"_

 _"This isn't good for you, that's all I am saying, you're not a child to whom I have to remind what's right or wrong" she said it in a gentle manner, she didn't want to fight._

 _"God, where are you going with this?" he said pinching the top of his nose._

 _"I just know that it started the same way with your smoking, you asked me not to make a big deal and not to annoy you with my constant nagging and then it ended up in you smoking packs of them a day, I am just trying to control the possible damage that could come from this, this is childish, Robert"_

 _Robert huffed and started collecting the boxes, Cora started to help him._

 _"No, I'll do it" he snapped at Cora who immediately stilled._

 _"I can help-"_

 _"No, I can manage!" he snapped again._

 _This made her angry, "Like you managed all the other things" she said sharply._

 _"For God's sakes, what now?!"_

 _Cora took a deep breath; all she wanted was to sleep "The shoes, the lights, the tv, the boxes…"_

 _"Oh, Cora, stop it. I am sick of this" he violently placed the boxes in the fridge "You give me five minutes of your time in the whole day and even that consists of constant complaints!"_

 _Cora froze, this hurt her "Robert, you know how hectic this is" she tried to hold back tears._

 _"And whose fault is that?" he said, picking up his shoes._

 _"So, what do you want me to do?" she said throwing her hands in the air, losing patience._

 _"I want you to get your priorities right!" he looked at her with a very angry look._

 _"Oh, yes" she said biting down the urge to throw something at him "Yes, my priorities. Cooking and cleaning up for you, of course"_

 _"I didn't mean-"_

 _"I can't do this, right now. I am going to bed" she said wiping away the tears._

 _"Cora, listen to me"_

 _She shut the door of her bedroom and he didn't see her the rest of the night._

* * *

Cora drove back from Grantham Holdings and this certain memory somehow made its way back to her brain and she blinked, holding back tears. That was the time it all went to hell, when both of them couldn't stop complaining or shouting or screaming at each other. That was where it went wrong, they didn't talk, they only shouted. It wasn't just that, it was work load on both sides, she was too lost in her career that she didn't give him the time that he deserved and it was true that she complained about stupid stuff a little too much but he started avoiding her, he used to say that she didn't give him time and then at some point he stopped. She should have known that it was all wrong; she thought he had understood but no, he didn't, he stopped expecting her to give him any time and she was stupid enough to not think about it. Shouting stopped, screaming stopped, complaints stopped. Al l that was left was silence, haunting silence. And the reason, she discovered after a few months was another woman, a substitute of her, Jane Moorsum. That absolutely killed her, it made her heart break into infinite pieces. Robert was lonely and needed her time, she knew, if only he had asked her a few more times, she would have had mind enough to give him, she would have she knew but when she started to, he avoided her and she was foolish enough to think he had come to terms with her work. No, it wasn't that. The complaints and the shouting matches were all horrible but nothing was as horrible as the silence that took over them, the awkward dinners, the awkward love making. They somehow, just stopped talking and it all went to hell. Her marriage went down the drain. The always happy Cora Robert seemed like some people from the past, a figment of their imagination.

Cora wiped her eyes as she drove towards her house. The past still haunted her, it hurt her so much that sometimes she wanted to take her heart out and rip it to get rid of the misery, the guilt. It took two, yes, it always takes two, it wasn't just her fault, but she knew she started it; she neglected him which lead him to sleeping with another woman, to have an affair.

She entered her house and found it super clean, everything was placed where it should be, she could smell cooking, something with bbq sauce, her favourite, she could smell it. The shoes were where they should be, a football match was on on an appropriate volume. She entered the house to see Simon sitting and drinking a small glass on wine.

"Hey, babe" he grinned at her "I made steaks with your favourite sauce, go freshen up, I'll get the plates out" he kissed her cheek and went to the kitchen.

The food, the shoes, the tidiness, the warm greeting, no fighting, the calm and still her heart didn't approve. Aren't these the things she wanted? All this and still she didn't smile as she saw a man sitting on the couch waiting for her, as she had years ago to a man with mess around him sleeping on the couch, not expecting her. All this but no feeling. Nothing. Silence, haunting silence.

She took out her phone and typed a quick message.

 _Hey, heard you're back. Can I meet you tomorrow if you aren't too tired?_

She took off her shoes and placed them in a rack and her phone beeped

 _Hi, yes, I am. Of course, Cor._

Her heart softened and then suddenly cracked into bits.

* * *

 _Don't have much to say about this, please do review and thanks for the patience. I hope you guys are enjoying the story._

 _Raise your hand if you miss Cobert/McGonneville. Bring them back,someone, please!_


	13. Chapter 13

Robert came out of his shower, the steam in the bathroom hurriedly spreading across his room. He turned on the exhaust; shut the lights and the door of the bathroom. Today had been tiring, not very tiring but tiring enough for him to just wanting to climb into bed and sleep . He dried his hair with a towel and was about to brush them when his cell phone beeped. He unenthusiastically picked it up to see whose message it was, he hoped it wasn't work. It wasn't.

 _Hey, heard you're back. Can I meet you tomorrow if you aren't too tired?_

Cora.

He wasn't expecting her to message or call so soon after his return. But he quickly replied to her, rechecked the message and sent it. He sighed as he made his way to the kitchen.

The food on the plane hadn't been very appealing; he did manage to eat some but not much. It was all greens, he hated that. Well, he used to but since Cora loved her veggies she made him try some, or force him to try them and he finally did get used to a few, not many though and still they weren't his most favorite thing in the world. He opened the fridge, knowing something must be in it. He smiled as he saw an unexpected take away wrapped in a foil holder. He knew from who it was.

He took out the package and sniffed it, yum, chinese. His favourite. He took the note attached on top of it, already anticipating a sassy yet loving description.

 ** _HAHA, totally knew you'd get hungry sooner or later, otherwise you don't bother to open the fridge! I know, plane food, ew. Anyways here you go, I've put some strawberry ice-cream in the freezer as well. Yes, yes, love you too. Xoxo_**

 ** _Your favorite person in the world,_**

 ** _Ros._**

 ** _P.s: I snuck out a few DVD's of yours. Will give them back, promise this time!_**

He smiled at this. He loved his sister; he has always had a very good relationship with Ros. He was always either 'Brother Dear' or 'Little Robbie' there was no between. He was glad she was a bit different than Mama and to be very honest, Ros's challenging, demanding nature did help him stand up for himself a number of times. He didn't like to admit this but for the longest time he had been Mama's Boy, always nodding at her instructions but thankfully Ros had been opinionated which is why sometimes Mama and Rosamund didn't even get along but her nature and her behavior helped him to realize that he's a grown up and his own choices and opinions mattered as well. Marmaduke was the same, he and Ros were a fantastic couple, he loved both of them. He went towards the microwave and pushed in a few buttons to heat up his food. His thoughts went back to Cora; he wondered what she wanted to talk about. Divorce? But she can't be that eager that she'd come around the very next day of his return. Maybe she wants to call it off, oh, that would be….well not great but it surely would be far better news than divorcing. He didn't even know what he wanted. He loved Cora so much, fully aware of the fact that they can't be together. This was all stupid and basically self-harm. But he believed he can live without her, divorce won't change much anyways, and everything would be the same besides the fact that it would be official. He has lived 4 years without her, he can manage, right? Well anyways he's left the decision into Cora's hands, at least she knew what she wanted in future, all he could see was work and work. He was at a point where he would just shrug his shoulders at the thought of his personal life, it was a big mess to even start scramming through, so yes, Cora can lead him to wherever she want to take him, either with her or without her, he'd just fit in, in any situation, he suppose.

The microwave beeped, shaking him out of his thoughts. He took out the food, grabbed a plate, a glass of water and a fork. He went to sit on his couch and he turned on the tv. He looked at the news for a few minutes, nothing too interesting happening around the world as he finished his food.

When him and Cora were together, which felt like decades ago, occasions like these where it was food, light tv and just the two of them, they'd either end up making love on the couch. He can't remember the number of time they had sex here, this couch was some sort of a turn on for them, as weird as it sounds. Or if they'd been tired, they'd just cuddle up here. Usually Cora would sit on his lap and rest as he watched the news or cricket or either sleep on him. God, he loved when she used to sleep, sitting on his lap. Her weight was comfortable and she was warm and always smelled of flowers, or lavender.

He rested his head at the back of the couch and sighed. He ran a hand through his hair. He should go to bed but he felt just too comfortable to move. A certain memory flashed across his mind and he couldn't help but smile. He closed his eyes and relived that moment.

* * *

 _She had wanted to go bed, even if it was Saturday, she was a bit tired, but more than sleep she wanted him to come to bed with her to cuddle her close. They've both been working hard. Cora had a big day and night yesterday, after her official opening of the gallery yesterday, she had loads of work to finish off and at night she had been forced to throw a little celebratory party. However that little party somehow turned into a big one and by the time she got back, her feet were dead. She was sure of it. She slept late and Robert was sweet enough to bear with it all and even make her a breakfast in bed. Now she wanted him in bed with her but he had a meeting Monday morning and he was going through some documents. He insisted she go to bed, saying "Sweetheart, I'll be in, in a few minutes, you go rest". But she didn't want to climb into a cold bed, warming it on her own, waiting for him to join her there. Nopes. So she just sat on his lap, as she used to and rested her head on his chest. She draped her arm around his waist, spreading her legs on the rest of the couch._

 _She inhaled his scent and smiled to herself. Robert had his documents in one hand, he was going through a report and he draped his other arm around her shoulders, lightly caressing up and down her arm. This, this was her happy place, in the arms of the man she loved more than anything else in the world. His natural scent was always so comforting, she couldn't quite explain it, it was somewhat woody, a little musky, a little Robert, she could smell his cologne, it all made a wonderful scent which could be easily identified as Robert's._

 _"_ _Darling, when are you going shopping for Bates's wedding?" Robert said, still engrossed in his papers._

 _"_ _Hmm, oh, I talked over with Edith, she said she'll go sometime next week so I suppose I should just go with her" Cora replied._

 _"_ _Hmm" murmured Robert._

 _"_ _Although" she looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest "we have to go for your suit some other day mister"_

 _"_ _Hmm" he half listened._

 _She tickled his sides, giggling. "Oh, Cora, stop" he squirmed under her touch._

 _"_ _Heheh" she said finally stopping. The tickling made him thrash around a little which caused his reading glasses to land in the middle of the slide of his nose, making him look like a grumpy accountant._

 _"_ _Listen to me, when I'm talking" she said adjusting his glasses back. "There, perfect" he pouted a little and she kissed the tip of his nose, making him grin. She grinned back and settled back into his chest and he automatically wrapped his arm around her shoulders again._

 _"_ _So, when can we go?" she said closing her eyes._

 _"_ _I'll tell you tomorrow after checking the schedule, okay?"_

 _"_ _Hmm" she hummed and then yawned._

 _Robert wanted to tell her to go to bed, but he knew she wouldn't listen and he really needed to finish with these papers tonight. So he just held her tighter and continued with his caressing. Cora's light breathing and the tick of the clock was all that was to be heard. He didn't know how much time had passed, 20 maybe 30 minutes. He looked down at Cora snuggled to his chest, sleeping. He smiled at her, she looked impossibly cute sleeping, and he could stare at her all night. His precious, precious darling. But ah, making googly eyes at his angel later, now the documents, ugh._

 _He read a few more pages and he felt an itch under his ear so he took the free hand to scratch it. He unconsciously rested it on the side of the couch than on Cora's shoulder and she immediately 'mmhhh' in her sleep in irritation. She was fast asleep but even then she felt the loss of the contact of his arm. He chuckled and then put down the documents to wrap both his arms around Cora, a gesture which made her smile in her sleep. He kissed the top of her head and rested his head on top of hers. He could stay like this forever._

 _After a few blissful moments he knew it was time to move to the bedroom._

 _"_ _Come on, sleeping beauty, time for bed" he whispered in her ear._

 _"_ _Mmh-what" she responded sleepily._

 _"_ _Bed time, baby" he replied as she stared at him with only half her eyes opened._

 _"_ _Mmmh, okay" she said as she settled further into his arms._

 _She chuckled at her. He knew what she wanted and he was more than willing to do it, she was just too cute and whenever she wore this blue lose shirt of Robert to bed, he couldn't resist himself. She looked adorable in this oversized shirt. So he sighed and started to get up, Cora still half asleep wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. He picked her up through the support of her hips and carried her to the bedroom. He layed her down on the bed and she sighed._

 _He kissed her forehead and layed down next to her, becoming the bigger spoon; he rested his chin on her shoulder and went off to the land of fluff with Cora in his arms._

* * *

Robert smiled as replayed the scene in his mind. They've had the most romantic holidays but somehow the little moments always made him feel the loss of Cora most. He smiled as a stray tear ran down his cheek. He smiled as he dozed off on the couch, unaware of the heartbreak coming his way, tomorrow.

* * *

 _AN: Ah, I know, I know, all the fluffy tease. I think I'm bad at writing fluff, what do you guys think?_

 _Anyways so I didn't plan on writing this chapter, really. But the thing is that I am super busy, my initial plan was to not update before the mid of April but I got a few, very sweet messages of 'When will you update?' so I just randomly added this. I hope it doesn't bore you. I didn't want to get straight into the talk of it all because that meant keeping you hanging and even a bigger cliffhanger so I decided to wait after all. You know what they say, a little information can be very dangerous. So here's an update of basically nothing but at least something. I promise I'll get to the point soon and, I don't think I'll be able to update before mid of April now, so see you guys!_

 _Please do review, they mean everything to me. And if you want to contact me, PM anytime and you all know my instagram and tumblr so :))_

 _Big Cobert hugs and kisses! xoxo_


	14. Chapter 14

Robert awoke with a chime of the doorbell. His eyes popped open and he immediately sat up straight to only regret it a second later because he had pulled a muscle in his neck.

"Shit" he said, rubbing his neck. Apparently he had dozed off on the couch last night in a very odd angle and the result is waking up to strained muscles. He let out a yawn and stretched his arms. God, he was in a need of a thorough massage. All this over working had really exerted his mind and body. He mentally told himself to add it to his to do list. His sleepy eyes fell on the clock in the living room. It was 10 am. He had overslept, he blamed the work. Work work work.

The doorbell again. He had forgotten about that.

Oh, oh. Cora. She was supposed to come today and he knew it could only be her this time.

The bell again. He rushed towards the door to open it. There stood Cora, in a black tight jeans and a loose white shirt. She had no makeup, just a hint of her peachy lipstick. She was looking so casual but God, still so beautiful. Maybe it was because he hadn't seen her for a long time or maybe it was the rush that made his blood flow enthusiastically towards his brain. He didn't know, but he did know that she looked beautiful. She smiled at him and then he realized what a state he must be in.

Messy hair, sleepy eyes, unwashed face and pajamas. Oh, great! What a goof.

He coughed and she chuckled to herself.

"Oh, Cora, hi. Sorry, I- well I slept in, well on the couch.." she raised her eyebrows "-that is because, forget it long story, I just woke up"

She smiled a little and looked at him. He looked back at her, a lump forming in his throat.

A moment later he realized "Oh, I am sorry! Come in!" he gave her way, wanting to slap himself in the face. Why was he being an idiot?

Cora entered the house and gave a slight sigh. This house always hit a cord in her heart. All the memories, the good and bad, all of them just gave her immediate feels and it always made her heart race because it was too hard to cope with all of them at once. She had avoided coming to his house, they always tried to meet somewhere outside and in public, that was to guarantee civilized behavior.

"Come in" he gestured his hand towards the couch and she moved towards it.

"How was the flight?" she finally spoke.

"Oh, you know, as it always is" he replied as he plumped the cushions on the sofa which had been disarranged after his night of sleeping.

Cora observed him. It hit her, he had changed his habits and it made her happy and sad at the same time. Happy because he changed his ways because of her, sad because he only tried when the worst had happened.

"Sit down, do you want something? Coffee?" he asked walking towards the kitchen.

"You go, I'll make it" she said, rolling up her sleeves and following him.

"What?"

"You go, have a shower, I'll make coffee"

"There's no need, I'll make it"

She gave him a look, "You just woke up, Robert, I can make it"

He looked at her; she was only a few feet away. "I know where everything is" she smiled at him and he thought he felt her shiver a bit but he only nodded and headed towards the bathroom.

* * *

When he came back, smell of coffee and eggs shot up his nostrils. It had been so long someone made breakfast for him; it was warming and weird at the same time.

Cora saw him coming out his room towards the kitchen. He wore a comfy black shirt, Cora had never seen it before, she could see he had shaved and could smell his cologne as soon as he came nearer. She wanted him to at least know his whereabouts before they talked. He needed to eat something, Cora was well aware of how Robert gets when he had an empty stomach.

"Eggs?" he said sitting on the chair, next to the counter.

"Scrambled" she replied as she moved towards the cupboard to get two mugs out. It felt like old times. Sigh, good times. Cora retrieved the mugs out of the cupboard and poured them a steaming mug of coffee. She transferred the fluffy eggs on a plate and moved it towards him.

"Aren't you joining me?" he raised his eyebrows.

"I ate a bit already" she smiled and sipped her coffee, sitting in a chair opposite him.

"Fruit or cereal?" he asked taking a bite.

She chuckled, "Fruit"

"Banana and some strawberries?"

This time she laughed "Yes, okay okay"

He took a mouth full "Mmhhmm" he said enjoying the taste, "These are delicious"

She smiled "Thanks"

"Seriously Cora, they're great" he looked adorable. Such a dork!

"I'm glad"

Robert took a sip "Come on, you have some too" he pushed the plate at the center of the table.

She didn't want to but the way he was talking about them was a little too tempting.

"Okay, just a little" she said as she retrieved another fork and they both took a fork full and put them in their mouth.

"Mmhhmm" they both hummed simultaneously. "These are good" she said.

"Told you" he winked and she smiled.

Just like old times. Old, yes. The past.

* * *

After enjoying the breakfast, with minimum chitchat about the elephant in the room they both took the dishes to the sink and went to sit on his couch.

The both sat quietly for a moment, scared of talking further.

"This room is still the same" she said observing.

"No, not really. I changed the clock" he said and she laughed softly and so did he.

"Yeah, well" he ran a hand in his hair "You were the one who knew about all such things, so I didn't bother. Even if I did, I wouldn't have known where to start" he said clicking his nails together.

"No" she said "You have good taste, you picked out the wardrobe of our room and the bed and the side tables for the guest room, and they are really classy"

"Well, I've learned from the expert" he said smiling softly and she smiled just a little, back at him.

Silence again. There was no point in dragging.

"Cora?"

"Yeah?" she said not looking at him and biting her lip.

"Are you here to- to talk about, well about us?"

She nodded, avoiding his gaze and at her nod, he looked ahead at some point in the living room, dreading what she was about to say next.

"I'm listening" he said.

Cora looked at her hands and somehow her fingers itched, specially her ring finger and she scratched it and rubbed her clammy hands together. Her heart was beating fast and she knew so was Robert's.

"While you were away, I had a lot of time to think about us"

They still avoided looking at each other. Somehow this made it easier, not looking at each other.

"And after thinking about it, I think, well, I think-" this was it, oh God, "I think we should move forward" she said hurriedly, almost whispering.

Robert closed his eyes. The moment of truth. And it had been said. He didn't need to know what she was talking about but she decided to explain anyway.

"I think this will get us nowhere. W-we need to be brave" she took a sharp breath; she was literally shaking "I want you to be happy. I want myself to be happy and that can only happen if we are strong and we are brave, brave enough, brave enough to-to let-let go" she bit her bottom lip hard, her voice shaky as she controlled her tears. This was so hard. She couldn't bear to look at him. God, she can't look at him. She was hurting and she knew so was he.

Robert kept his eyes closed. It felt like the time had stopped, he could hear Cora, but not comprehend what she was saying.

 _Move forward._

 _Let go._

 _Be brave._

 _Be happy._

The words made him want to throw up his delicious breakfast. She talked again and he couldn't look at her.

"I went to a lawyer" she said "he said it got drag a bit but it's not impossible" and suddenly she realized "I didn't! I mean, I didn't file it-yet, I wanted to tell you first. To, ask you" her voice was low and soft. It was softly killing him.

She had said it and the silence, the lack of eye contact made her lose her breath. This room was becoming too stuffy. This killed her, she knew she shattered his heart and her heart too was crumbled but what else could she have done? What else was there to hope for? She wanted him to be happy, to have a life and she wanted to get rid of this nauseous feeling she felt all the time. All the damn time. It was suffocating her. This was a maze, a terrible maze and the way out was too painful but God, did she have another option? No, she didn't. She believed in love. She believed in true love, she believed in number ones. Robert was her number one; he was her first and true love. But life isn't that simple. True love is not always a happily ever after. No it was not! And so a price of great love was great misery at hard time and this, this was a miserably, heart wrenching time, for both of them. But maybe, maybe in time they'll be happy. They'll be okay. Both of them, they might someone else, perhaps it would be second best but it doesn't mean they won't have a life. People survive, don't they?

The silence was haunting. It howled and it scared her. "Robert" she finally looked at him. Only then she realized her tears that threaten to fall down shamelessly. "Robert" she sniffed as slowly as possible. "Please say something"

* * *

She had said it and he was glad of the lack of eye contact. He shouldn't be surprised, he knew this was coming and somewhere, deep down he knew she had logic, she had a point and the fact that it somehow made sense killed him even more. Cora was his true love, maybe she was the only love in his life and he didn't know if he'd have anyone else, he really didn't want anyone. He wasn't even sure he wanted her. He loved her, yes, he loved her so very much but he loved her when she was happy, when she was satisfied. When he made her happy because in those moments he felt he had achieved his life's mission. What they went through few years before their separation had stolen her smile, had stolen his smile as well. All their happiness vanished, it went away somewhere threatening never to return and he hated that. He hated everything. The fairytale life was only temporary he thought, because they had lived happily, blissfully really. It felt like a fairytale but the reality soon chased them. It wasn't all true love and smiles. There were hurdles, complications, heartaches, fights, disagreements and they had failed. Failed to pass all the tests of marriage and so it crumbled apart. And the price was utter misery. He wanted her happy, that he knew and well, he wanted to lessen the pain in his heart as well and what she said was true, even when it was churning the contents in his stomach, it was true. They needed to be brave.

 _Brave._

"Robert" he heard her sniff "Robert please say something"

He finally looked at her and he could see it was just as hard for her. He looked at her and his heart broke. He could reflect his glassy eyes in hers. He loved her, he loved her, he loved her so much.

"Say something, please" she said again and so he did.

"Okay"

* * *

 ** _HOOOLAAA! I am back! Happy tears, hahah. I hope the story isn't dragging. Would LOVE if you left a review. Happy weekend. 3_**


	15. Chapter 15

**_AN: HI! So PLEASE READ THIS!_**

 ** _I know you all hate me right now haha, but please please be patient with me. I have the story planned, promise! But as the drama queen I am, I won't let it reach the end easily. So please bear with me. And the response I have had with this story is amazing. Hopefully the end will satisfy you all but that's nowhere near so just trust me. I had one of my friend, who is a mad Cobert shipper say "WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO?" So I did tell her the whole plot BECAUSE I had some "This is stupid, MAKE THEM FALL INTO EACH OTHERS ARMS" from people and I became doubtful if you guys still enjoyed it or are completely hating it and not able to see the plot realistically BUT she loved it. She_** ** _absolutely loved it and I hope you all will too. I know it's dramatic but more drama will be coming soon so gear up. Just warning!_**

 ** _Now, I will stop annoying. HAPPY READING!_**

* * *

He looked towards her and she could see his eyes getting glassy.

"Okay" he said. Her heart stopped, 1,2,3…slowly it started beating again.

Okay. Hm, okay. He agreed to a divorce. Okay, alright. But…okay? She didn't expect him to answer so casually but…okay. She supposed he was prepared and she could see it was just as painful for him.

Cora bit her bottom lip. She chewed on it and slightly nodded, looking away.

Silence filled the room, it was very odd, just so odd but at least it was finished. She had said and he had agreed to it without breaking or smashing anything. He had told her before that he would agree to it, she shouldn't be surprised at his very…acceptable reaction but still. Okay?

"When do you…" Robert coughed slightly, clearing his throat "When do you want to file it?" looking at this fingers.

She looked at him still comprehending his reaction. So now he wanted it or he had just given up on everything? Well, there wasn't much left to give up on really but still…

"Um" she said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear "Well..I, I am not sure, I wasn't expecting.." she looked at him and he nodded.

"Wasn't expecting me to just say okay?" he said and this time she nodded, surprised and curious at the same time.

He ran a hand through his hair "I would have…I should have even, I would have argued and break a glass or two or fight against it but.." he looked at her with such tired eyes.

"You wouldn't have agreed to call it off, would you?" he asked genuinely.

She thought about it, would she? Would she have called it off? Maybe..no, maybe not. It would have made it a trillion times harder and would have killed her emotionally but if she thinks about it, they aren't getting back together, it would just have extended the four exhausting years to a few more and then they'd be back at this stage again. So she would not have.

Cora lowered her eyes and sighed "You mustn't think me heartless…" she said as if she was ashamed "I- I don't want any of this! I mean.." she sighed and looked at him with sad eyes then took his hand in hers "I just want to end this torture." She sounded so exhausted "You're a good man, Robert" she squeezed his hand and he nodded, fully understanding "You don't deserve to be tangled in this mess, nor do I. I..I have loved you" This made her tears flow down and he had a hard time controlling his. Her voice became high because of the tears "It's hard for me to do this just as it is hard for you but I just..I just want to have a sense of direction, you know? Our lives…our lives are in such a messy state, we, we aren't going anywhere and this stillness is just suffocating. It's so suffocating! I want both of us to be content with whatever we do next and to do that we need to move on. Robert, I –" she said but she choked on her words.

He looked at her and wiped away his own tears and took her hands in his again, staring at them. "I know and I get it…it hurts but I get it. I have loved you too, you know, so much…but yes, we deserve better. I just wish things had turned out different, because there was a time we were happy" he looked at her now and she nodded.

"Yes" she gave him a little smile "Yes, we were. Very happy"

"But it all went downhill from there.." he kept stating the facts. Cora merely nodded her expression stiffening at the harsh memories. All that shouting, screaming, crying, slamming doors in this very house came back to her and she shivered at the memories. They were terrifying.

"So okay, if that's what you think best, then…okay"

But she needed him to know. God he mustn't think..

"Robert, look at me", so he did "I hope you know I am not divorcing you because I want to marry Simon" she somehow gave words to his deepest fear.

Wasn't she? He looked confused, so she took it as a sign and explained further.

"I don't know if I will marry him, I don't even know if I will marry at all, I just want to get out of this puzzle and I want you to be free of it as well, I don't want you unhappy"

He knew she meant it. But he was already unhappy, for the past six years he had been terribly unhappy and he predict the same for some more years to come. He just hoped not.

"We'll be alright…" she said and he was about to nod but she continued, as if questioning her positivity "Won't we, Robert?"

He let go off her hands and sighed "I don't know…I hope" she nodded. He knew she needed a minute so he went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Cora kept sitting.

He leaned against the counter, hiding from her view and took a deep breath. Gosh, this was all so agonizing. He literally had no clue what was about to happen but he thought about it. Some part of him understood, it hurt like hell but he did. He loved her but he understood her. And that was painful but no, he would deal with his own emotions later. There was no point breaking down in front of her, it would end up in both of them pulling out their hair and swelling their eyes as their floodgates opened. So no, not now. Later. He would just think about it all later. He took a deep breath and went back to the lounge. Cora was standing now, putting her hand bag on her shoulder. He raised his eyebrows and she smiled a little.

"I should go" he didn't want her to but there was nothing left to say. So he nodded.

They both stood there awkwardly. She sighed "Bye, Robert" she said walking towards the door.

"Bye, Cora" he mumbled as he heard the door close shut.

* * *

A few minutes after Cora had left; Robert went towards the sink to wash the dishes when his phone rang. He didn't bother looking who it was, he just answered it.

"Hello" he said.

"So you're back alive?" he heard a snort. Bates, of course he would call.

"Bates, hey"

"Morning, Sir" Robert furrowed his brows but before he could question, Bates replied in hushed tone "Juniors passing by" he chuckled and Robert smiled. Bates would always call him Sir in front of other employees, no matter what funny or undignified names he called him when they were alone. Robert didn't mind, not when it was his university friend, John Bates. He was the brother he never had. Although Rosamund never made him feel like he hadn't had a brother, as ladylike as she was in front of other, she was a wild fire cracker on the inside. She was so good at boy games like football, cricket, horse riding, she would even beat him at video games. She was just that good at such things. So yeah, he kind of did have a sister who almost fulfills his needs for a brother but not quite, however Bates filled the little remaining need.

"So, it went good?" Bates asked.

"Yeah well, it was fine for a start, there's a lot to do but it was okay" Robert replied.

"Still fixed on going? You know very well James can do it and.."

"Yes" he replied, after today he was more than sure. He needed to be away. New beginning, yes. He can't stay here. He rubbed his temple "Yes, I am sure."

Bates got the hint what it was about "Did she come to see you?" Robert had no need to ask who he was referring to.

"Yes"

"She came here yesterday to pick up her cheques, I think she didn't know you were coming back"

"Hm"

"So…"

Robert didn't want to talk; not right now "Ah, it's a long story, later yeah?"

"Okay. Should we meet for dinner?"

"No, I ah, not tonight, yeah? Some other day"

Bates understood. He could see it didn't go well. "Yeah okay, don't bother with dinner, I'll send it over"

"There's no need.."

"No, I insist. Anna's mum is making the most delicious pasta tonight, I'll send you some. You'll thank me later considering the kind of foodie you are" Bates chuckled and Robert smiled. He was such a considerate friend; he got the hint that Robert was upset.

"Yeah, thanks mate"

"No worries, I should go back. There's a meeting. You rest"

Robert smiled as Bates hung up the phone.

* * *

He went back to the kitchen abandoning the unfinished washing. He went towards the fridge to take out a bottle of beer to take with him to the living room.

He sat there and took in a long sip. He finished the bottle in three quick sips. God, his head was hurting. He was exhausted and he was having a hard time understanding what he felt. He knew this was coming and it had and it didn't surprise him. He knew it would happen. It hurts him to think about it but he knew the divorce was inevitable now. Of the thousand times he had internally debated, he always came to the conclusion that he loved her but it just didn't work and now there's a way out and he had to let her be free and to feel free himself too. Free of what exactly, he didn't know. Not free of Cora, he doubted he could ever be that. But maybe maybe, in time, free of this pain. Since he won't have to hang on a hopeless hope, he might be able to move forward and Germany seemed just the right answer. Out of sight, out of mind, isn't that what they say? Of course he would have to see her lawyer and sign some stupid binding papers. If only a couple of signatures could end the feelings as well, as they did a relationship. There will be talk about property and ground rules and all that crap he couldn't care less about. By every minute he wanted to escape. Germany had done him good, he did work a lot. A lot more than he had in years, just like he did when his father died and the whole responsibility fell on his shoulders. And that kept him busy, kept him distracted which was just what he needed. His head ached, it was almost lunch time but he was too tired to even order home delivery, he decided he would just have a heavy dinner of that pasta. It wasn't healthy but damn balanced diet that right now. His head ached and he needed something for that. He went to his library where he kept a cupboard with expensive vodkas and whiskeys. Yes, that was what he needed. He poured himself a generous glass (no water) and cluck down the drink in one go. Strong, too strong but it was just what he needed to stop his mind from thinking. Exhaustion and talk about leaving your wife for good. Not a very great combination! So yes, whiskey. At the thought he poured himself another glass.

He shouldn't be drinking this much. It was wrong and he had promised himself and Cora that he would not go back to his old habits. But he was broken and Cora wasn't here. So he kept drinking until his thoughts and vision became blurry. He thought back at that day when Cora caught him smoking. He didn't want to smoke in front of her but he just had to. No one was here looking at him so he would do what he wants. Everyone was busy and no one was here and in fact right now, no one could care less. So yes, hallelujah! He would drink to his heart's desire. Heart's desire to stop hurting and mind's constant begging to stop thinking. He had felt guilty. He had lied to Cora when he said he didn't smoke much. Well, it was partly true; he did smoke a lot less than he did before. Just maybe two or maximum three times a day and some days he didn't even have time for that. But he didn't want to worry her so he lied. The point was that even though he had it under control, he did smoke and did drink. But oh anyway, he needed it. Of course, one more drink wouldn't hurt, right?


	16. Chapter 16

It had been almost two months since Robert had been back to England. The last time he saw Cora was the day after his return and alas it happened. She had filed for a divorce, he had left it upon her, he wanted it that way, to be least involved in the paper making and the terms. The thing was, he had no terms. He didn't want anything really; there were no money, property or custody issues that had been sorted out years ago when they had first separated. The only issue he knew of was of those investment terms which were listed when they got married and Cora had invested, it wasn't a big hurdle but it did delay the process, he didn't know how he felt about the delay, the point was that the papers had been drawn up and they had both signed the papers which started up the whole process. He was at his office that day when Bates had come in to give him the papers Cora's lawyer had sent. The look on Bates' face had said it all. Cora had already signed and he tried to picture how she would have felt and even when the negative part of his brain suggested that she had happily and quickly signed it, he knew deep down that she too would have stared at the papers like he was at the moment. There was no point in dragging, he quickly skimmed through the sentences full of jargons and signed it. His head was spinning that day, he had done it. He had allowed it to happen, the first step to separate officially from Cora. It had taken a second really but the weight on his heart felt a million years old. He couldn't possibly concentrate on anything else at that moment so he just went to a pub and drank some strong bourbon. That had soothed his aching mind and heart.

He hadn't heard from Cora since then and he was sort of glad, they could no longer make small talk now. It was hopeless, both felt awkward and hurt so it was just better to avoid. But of course, they couldn't ignore each other forever. They were called up at her lawyer's office on the 4th of January. Both of their presence was necessary for some reason and they had to sign the papers, that would confirm their divorce if the matter regarding the investment had been sorted out. It would just take two more signatures and that would be it. The end. The end of a marriage that had been built upon so much love, happiness and trust. All gone, phoof, like a blow of breath in the cold weather.

Robert tried not to think about anything, indulging into work and coming home only when he was completely exhausted so that all there was left was to sleep and when that didn't help, he smoked or drank, trying really hard not to picture Cora with those sad eyes and soft hurt voice when she had requested him to stop. Well, Cora was no longer his, well almost so he could not let her requests affect him so much. Well they did, they always did, but he was a hurt, middle aged man going through the toughest of middle age crisis and change of life ways. He needed all the help he could get.

Well, the meeting with Mister William Rogers was one thing but there was one more occasion he had to meet Cora and he couldn't refuse. Tomorrow was the 31st of December and as tradition, Mary and Matthew were throwing a huge New Year's party in their house and his presence was a must. He had been there every year since they got married, Cora had too but this time it was different. They were getting divorce, mingling would be difficult but well it was important.

They hadn't told the children much detail, they had decided to wait until they had actually sign the second round of papers which would confirm their divorce to some extent, the ones later were obligatory, they would be signed around 3-4 months later, to give them one last time to think about it, according to the law. So they just decided to tell after the 4th. All they knew was that the talk of divorce was in the air, but not exactly that they had proceeded with it.

Tomorrow was going to be tough but Robert had just decided to avoid her, for both of their sakes. He thought Cora would want the same. He would just mark his presence, stick by Rosamund's side he suppose, thank God for her.

Robert sat on his bed flipping through a sport's magazine but his mind was elsewhere. On Cora. It would be so hard to see her tomorrow and avoid her and as everyone around him would make wishes and get kissed, he would stand there wishing for nothing. He didn't really have anything to wish for, not anymore, all the excitement of the New Year was making him irritated. As they say "New Year New Me" he certainly hoped it would apply to him, he was getting sick and tired of _this_ Robert, he had to move on, it was high time and he was glad of the progress, to be very honest he was waiting impatiently to go back to Germany, to the routine that wouldn't give him more than a few moments to think about what he's lost and what had happened. No, this was his resolution, to move on.

But oh, how difficult it was. Even when he was extremely nervous of meeting Cora tomorrow, a part of him really wanted to. To see her all dolled up and smiling one last time before he goes away for God knows how long. He hated himself for being like that. He absolutely hated it but his heart moved according to its own plans and he had little choice and a weak fight of it against his brain. He closed his eyes and sighed, thinking of what a roller coaster ride of emotions he'll go through tomorrow.

* * *

Cora was biting her nails as she waited for her brownies to bake. She hadn't met Robert in almost two months, not after she had been to his house. She had made the brave move, the hardest thing she had ever done and went and filed for the divorce, she didn't let herself think of it now, she had thought too much about it and it always came to the same conclusion so she just shut off her brain and went to file it. The lawyer talked about some investment papers and some terms she couldn't care less about, she just did as he told and suddenly she was sitting facing the papers, pen in hand ready to sign. She wondered what would Robert feel when he would get them. Would he feel hurt, broken, angry and terribly sad? All the things that she was feeling right now? Yes, probably. So she just signed. She signed it quickly and shoved away the papers. Her mind was running and it gave her a headache. So she just took two sleeping pills and went to sleep. It was too hard to think. She had no plans of the future but Simon clearly did. Since the day she had signed, Simon looked as if he was ready to dance a jig. Despite the several times she had hinted that the status of their relationship won't change for a long time to come, he stayed in his bubble which was just not willing to pop. Cora left him to his own accord, glad to see someone happy about the changes in her life.

The oven dinged and she put on oven mitts to take out the impossibly hot tray. She relaxed in the comforting smell of freshly baked brownies and smiled to herself. When the kids were younger she would bake these on regular occasions. Tripple choc brownies were just the most favorite snack of theirs. And that included her and Robert, they would dig in the next second they would be put on the table and grin like fools eating and murmuring their response. Cora would just grin seeing all her babies – including Robert enjoying the brownies that much. Then when the girls would be busy stuffing their mouths with overload of chocolate, Robert would take a brownie and place it in front of Cora so that she would eat some too.

 _"Good?" he would ask her when she had taken a bite, as if he had made them._

 _"Mmhmm, delicious" she would reply licking his thumb to take of the last of the chocolate._

 _Robert used to grin back at her and reply "My darling wife made them"_

 _Cora would lean in closer and whisper "Well_ _tell her she's amazing"_

 _"Don't you worry ma'am, I tell her all sorts of things" Cora would just turn pink and slap his arm and Robert would grin and kiss the top of her head._

 _By the time he would reach for another brownie, the tray had been emptied and the girls would be fighting over the little chips that had fallen off._

 _"You've got chocolate on the side of your lip" Robert would say._

 _Cora very well knowing that there were no bits would just play along "Oh, where?"_

 _"There" he would reply pointing in the air without actually reaching out and wiping it._

 _"Hmm, well will you help me get it off?" Cora would grin and he would grin back._

 _Robert would lean in and kiss her lips fully as Cora would smile into the kiss. It always happened this way. Each time she made brownies he would feed her and then just find a way to kiss her, they had been married for years but no, this was a must. As they would kiss and series of "Ew yukh" would hit their ears and they would find Mary rolling her eyes, Edith with an awkward embarrassed face and Sybil giggling at one side._

The memory hit home when the familiar smell of brownies invaded her nose, making her smile.

"Hi babe, what are you doing?" Simon entered the kitchen with a cricket ball in hand as he jiggled it from one hand to another.

"Oh, I was just making brownies" she replied as she busied herself to shift them in another tray.

Simon observed the brownies, looking impressed. "These look great but why did you put in so much effort? I would have bought some for my sweet from the bakery"

Cora sighed inwardly, no it wasn't effort, she wanted to do it, and it was tradition when the girls had been young. "It's not the same" Cora murmured as she sliced the brownies into tiny pieces.

"What?" Simon asked as he threw the ball once again in the air so he could catch it.

"Nothing" Cora replied moving her head. "You go see if that movie is on, it's almost time"

"Okie dokie" he replied exiting the kitchen, concentrating on the ball.

The truth was that she was distracting herself by making brownies, she was too nervous to meet Robert tomorrow. She hadn't met him since the day she went to his house and now that they were almost done with all that divorce headache, she felt extremely awkward. They couldn't possibly make small talk, what would they talk about and even if they did, it would be very uncomfortable and then if things went a little awkward, meeting on the 4th would be no less uncomfortable. Is this how it's going to be from now on? Will they never talk again?

She so missed her husband, the husband she had years ago and the bestest of friends that she had found in him. She missed her best friend so much and it's been years she had lost both her husband and best friend and she hadn't found a new best friend since then. She missed the way he used to make her laugh and she missed acting all _donk-ish_ with him, she missed ranting with him at 3AM in their pajamas. And most importantly she missed how he would make her smile and cheer her up each time she was sad, when he would hold her for hours and listen to her complain about silly stuff all the time. She was always sad on New Year recently because it was family time, time to be with friends and family and her best friend and the most important person in her family was the same person – Robert and he was no longer around. So she baked away her heart aches and thought less and less of the creeping anxiety that was eating her about how it was going to be the next day. She took a tiny piece and put it in her mouth and smiled as the memories came flooding back and fought back tears that threaten to fall down as she saw a familiar goofy grin of a blue eyed man in her mind's eye.

* * *

Robert's neck hair stood up as he exited the car in front of Matthew's house. The last night of the year and it was very cold. Robert clutched his coat tighter around him and balanced his camera in one hand and champagne in the other. He entered the house already full of people, all dolled up and mingling with each other. It was a little after 9pm and everyone had come having had their dinner and were impatiently waiting for midnight.

Bertie was the first one to spot him as he waved and came forward to meet him. The house was fully lit up with people scattered everywhere from the living room to the balcony, soft music was playing in the background and everyone looked jollier than ever.

"Robert, how are you?" Bertie greeted him with a wide grin on his face.

"Good, good, I haven't seen you in long. How's work?" he asked placing the champagne on the table next to him.

"Oh, as usual, thank God for a break though" Bertie chuckled.

Ah, yes. The New Year's break. Well he wasn't having any, everyone around him was but he kept himself busy which frankly did him good.

"Ah, Papa" Mary came along holding a tray of mini tarts towards him.

"Hello, darling" he kissed her cheek.

"Good to see you, Papa" she said offering him some tart.

Mary wore a stunning black dress and sometimes, like now Robert only wondered how quickly her baby girl grew up.

"Where is everyone?' Robert asked as he chewed on a lemon tart.

"Um oh, God knows" Mary chuckled "But Matthew is with Tom somewhere and I last saw Edith with Granny in the kitchen" Mary said as she looked around the rooms searching for everyone "And ah, there's Isobel" Robert waved back at her from where she was sitting with some friend of Mary's.

"Oh, Edith went upstairs a minute ago" Bertie added and he took in another sip of his champagne.

"Oh and then Sybil must be up with her, she said she needed to fix her hair" Mary said.

"Where's Ros?" Robert said as he picked up a glass from the table.

"She is on the balcony with Mama" Mary said as she fiddled with Robert's tie, in attempt to fix it.

So Cora was already here, Robert swallowed a lump in his throat.

"Ah, better" Mary said "And I should be off, there are more people coming" she said as she walked gracefully towards the door to greet more people.

Robert excused himself from Bertie and went around meeting everyone, well everyone that was not on the balcony. He was in conversation with Mama as Rosamund came in the kitchen laughing at something.

"Mama, do we have more- Oh Robert!"

Rosamund was wearing a bright blue dress and looking just like a younger version of Mama, Robert smiled as he opened his arms for hug which Ros happily entered in.

"Where have you been, I was started to think you've ditched us"

Robert rolled his eyes and he leaned against the counter "When did I ever ditch you?"

"Well there's a first time for everything" Rosamund chuckled.

"Well, my dear sister I was waiting for you here" Robert said as he tapped the counter.

"I was on the balcony with Cora and some other people" Rosamund replied casually.

"I know" Robert said as he looked at his fingers, biting his lip.

"Then why didn't you come and- oh" Rosamund suddenly understood why. Of course of course it was hard for him. It must be surely. She patted his arm in affection.

Rosamund and Bates were the only ones who knew of the whole situation and Rosamund could see that they were both extremely nervous today.

"Well" Rosamund leaned in to whisper in his ear "If it helps, she is just as tensed as you are" she replied and went off to take out more champagne from the refrigerator.

It didn't really help, but it was nice to know she wasn't dancing a jig. Robert coughed as he exited the kitchen. Well he would have to face her at some point.

* * *

The next two hours passed by somewhat easily with Robert bumping into a few people from Matthew's work and they all talked in a group. Somehow he had not seen Cora up till now. As stupid as it sounded, he kept looking at the balcony in case he'd catch a glimpse of her but no he didn't however as always forming the triangle with Robert and Cora, he did catch a glimpse of Simon talking over with Edith and Tom at one corner, immediately making Robert huff. That stupid slimy stick of a man, oh how he hated him. Robert just rolled his eyes at him and concentrated on what Dickie Merton was saying.

After a while Robert felt his throat dry because of all the constant talking and laughing.

"Excuse me, gentlemen" he said as he moved towards the table to get a glass of water. He sighed as the cool liquid slid down his throat. He sighed and moved back when he ran into someone.

"Oh, I am so sorry-" he looked up and guess who it was? Cora.

"Oh, Robert" Cora looked at him in surprise and with the same mixture of feelings as she could see in Robert's eyes.

Oh, how beautiful she was. She was wearing a sleeveless white dress, the length touched her knees and she wore a beautiful pendant with it that Robert had never seen before but her painted red lips and those deep blue eyes was what made Robert's breath hitch.

He stared at her awkwardly for a moment before averting his eyes back to the table.

"Water?" he asked.

"Hmm" she replied chewing her lip.

Robert poured her a glass and handed it to her.

He stood there awkwardly as she thanked him and gulped down the liquid and sighed the same way he did, he smiled to himself without looking at her.

No one really knew what to say at that moment and both of them wished to be anywhere else, just not here.

"Well then, I'd better go back to-" Robert said motioning towards Matthew as he coughed and started to walk.

"Robert" he heard her call out softly.

"Yeah?" he said turning around.

"You look nice" she said shrugging her shoulders. Not just nice, very nice in fact, in his black suit that made his features pop out.

He smiled at her "You do, too"

Her small smile turned into a beautiful grin and if this was a movie, Robert would pause right at this moment and stare at her for the next hour. This woman made his knees weak. Dammit!

"When are you, um when are you going back?" she asked circling the stem of her glass.

"The fifth, after the, well-" he said adjusting his jacket.

"Yeah okay" Cora nodded.

"Mama?" Sybil cut the awkwardness thankfully and came rushing over. "Will you give me and Mary a hand to place more glasses, it's almost time"

Robert looked at the clock and oh yes, just twenty more minutes till midnight.

"Of course, darling" she replied walking away with Sybil.

Oh, well that was awkward.

"Robert" he heard a voice which could be of none other than Mama.

"Yes, Mama" he went towards her as she stood up from the sofa to meet him half way.

"It will be okay" she said reassuringly.

Robert not expecting this, sighed at her. "Will it? Will it ever be?"

Violet nodded and rubbed his arm up and down "I saw what happened right now. With time it would be alright, just give it some time. It's a new year, new beginning, start afresh" she smiled.

Robert really didn't want to tell and argue with her that there's far too much mess on his slate to start afresh so he just nodded.

"Now, go and help your sister, you know if she gets cranky, the new year would start with her tantrums in front of everyone and that's not a very warm opening" Violet chuckled as she walked away to the balcony where everyone was gradually assembling.

Robert took a glass of champagne with him and followed everyone out.

"5 minutes everyone" Matthew announced as the balcony filled with people wearing wide grins. All full of hopes and dreams and with some sense of direction. And then there was Robert, who just wanted to escape everything and everyone. Rosamund and Tom passed the glasses to everyone as the clock ticked by.

Robert put aside his glass knowing first, he didn't have anything to toast to, second, almost everyone here was with a partner and as the clock was touch twelve, everyone would most likely kiss so he just took out his camera to avoid the awkward part. Photography had become a new favorite hobby of his so he decided to capture candid moments as well as escape the awkward kissing session.

Robert turned his camera on as the countdown began.

10! He saw a couple of girls giggling at one side.

9! He saw Rosamund shout out with everyone as he chuckled and captured a picture of his over excited sister.

8! He saw Mary and Matthew wrapped around each other and Matthew leaned in closer and Mary laughed at something. Robert smiled and clicked a picture again, a beautiful shot of his darling daughter and son in law laughing at this significant moment.

7! He snapped another picture of Mama as she grinned and was more than ready to raise her glass and gulp the champagne any moment. The picture looked like an older picture of Rosamund. Robert laughed at the resemblance.

6! He captured a picture of some unknown little girl, a daughter of someone friends with Mary Matthew he suppose, who giggled as everyone shouted the numbers. Robert smiled at the little girl in her pink frock. He was always a softie about kids.

5! His eyes went towards Isobel who grinned at the crowd and Dickie Merton staring at her instead. Oh he could definitely see sparks flying there so he captured one of them.

4! This time he took a picture, zooming out of everyone in the balcony grinning at the sky.

3! Edith was next; her adorable little dimple became more prominent as she smiled with Bertie's hand in hers. Robert captured one of this pair.

2! Robert the chance to take one of Tom and Sybil as a pair who seemed most excited at the idea of a New Year.

1! His camera shifted from one place to another, eager to get another picture at one last second when it landed on the face he knew so well.

Cora's. Cora's eyes were all lit up and the blue of them was most prominent and she smiled beautifully as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Robert zoomed in just to take a picture of her face, wanting to keep this as a memory with him. As the fireworks exploded, the light of them brightened everything around them and the light shone on Cora's smiley face as she looked up the sky, smiling as Robert captured a click. The picture came out truly breath taking. Oh, Cora!

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" A round of applause began as Robert lowered the camera staring at Cora and somehow Cora looked up and stared right back at him at that exact moment. They looked at each other from far across and both of their eyes reflected the same thing. The mixture of emotions was clear in both of their eyes as Cora smiled sadly at him and Robert just stared back and almost smiled back when Simon moved, grinned and kissed Cora on her lips. Robert immediately looked away as he felt his heart crack to bits within the first second of the New Year.

* * *

 _Hi guys! I am back! Haha so my exams are almost over so I decided to update and by update I mean to write this whole chapter just now. My hand hurts! Okay guys its 5AM here and I just wrote this and read it roughly so I am really sorry if there are any mistakes. Here's a longer chapter so that you don't get bored and off this story._

 _I would just like to say thanks so so much for all the love for this story, I am so glad you all like it and thank so much for the patience, I love you all._

 _Special thanks to all my darlings who kept me motivated and encouraged me to write. You all know who you are and if you don't haha, THANK YOU my Zeenu, Whitney, Frederique, Anna and Rachel who are too sweet for words. I LOVE YOU ALL SO SO MUCH!_

 _Okay you all must be having a headache now. SORRY! PLEASE do review, I would love to know what you think._


	17. Chapter 17

"Mr. Crawley, have a seat" The lawyer, William asked Robert to sit in a black leather chair in his office. The 4th of January was here and now was the moment of truth. He could feel her presence in the black chair opposite him but he didn't dare to look to his left.

He cleared his throat and sat down next to her, he could faintly smell her lavender scent and he tried to take comfort in that because really he was very nervous. And so he assumed was Cora. From the corner of his eye he could see her biting her lower lip, fidgeting with the corner of her dress. Of course she was nervous too, it's not every day you sign divorce papers.

The words still tugged at his heart but oh well, it was almost done now. Or was it? That's what they are here to find out.

William Rogers cleared his throat and took out a bunch of papers and took a moment to sort them through and then finally looked up to see both of them.

"Mr. Crawley, Mrs. Crawley, here I have the papers" he placed copy in front of them

"As we discussed that the only hurdle there was were your investment papers but we've managed to eliminate the issue, so thereby it does not require the necessity of you both to be married" the lawyer finished.

Cora sucked in her breath and nodded. So this was it.

Robert adjusted himself more comfortably in the chair, the room all of a sudden felt too small.

"So, what now?" he managed to speak. He was waiting for Cora to speak up but she didn't, which by years of experience he knew that she wanted him to talk.

"Now, we just need your signature on these papers." He motioned to the ones placed in front of them. "These will confirm your divorce, but will not finalize it. For that you'll have to wait a bit as I explained to you both earlier but it will confirm it to a great extent, the latter is a compulsory step by law so it cannot be avoided"

Cora wanted to ask if this would end it. Would this really end it but she couldn't form the words because first, Robert was here, second if it was yes and it very well could be, she would need someone to hold her. She thanked God that she was sitting.

Silence filled the room and Robert stared at the papers but not reading them and Cora looked down at something on the floor, trying to focus her attention on something. Sensing the tension, the lawyer spoke for them "This will end it, yes. But to fully confirm it and according to the law, you would need some time to make it absolutely final."

Both nodded.

"Now, I just need the signatures"

Yes, just one signature and done. End of it all, almost anyway.

Robert shut his eyes momentarily and saw a flash of his wedding day, that fairytale moment when he saw Cora walk up the aisle to him. To become his. To be his forever and now he moved forward in his seat to scan the contents on the paper making the memory crumble in front of his eyes. Three decades ago she walked up to him to become his wife. Three decades later, he sat next to her, his own wife to flip all of it back. To go back to step number one.

Cora read and read but her mind couldn't quite understand the words, the ones her mind did catch were the ones that hammered at her heart bit by bit. She skimmed through the document and recalled the day she signed the investment papers. Oh, she was so happy, engaged to be married, ready to start her new life with Robert, it all sounded like a perfect story back then and it remained a perfect little story until the veil of dreams blew off leaving them both in a strange dark place where none of them really knew the way out to.

She heard the click of the pen from her opposite side and her body tensed. She drew a breath to pick up her pen next to the papers and as she did, her eyes met with his. Oh so many emotions passed through in the few seconds they looked at each other.

Her eyes fell on the corners of his eyes, the thin lines forming around them, showing that he had aged. She had looked in these very same eyes so many times, when they had smiled, when they had cried, when they were upset, when they were shocked. Every single time she was able to read what he was feeling just by looking into his eyes and now, she just couldn't. Sadness, anger, frustration, hopelessness all at once rushed through his blue orbs and she had trouble catching up.

He looked into her eyes and saw the same feelings pass by and he wasn't sure if it warmed his heart or hurt it. Was this the last time they were looking at each other as husband and wife? Probably. Cora kept her eyes on him and sighed, signaling it was time. Robert nodded and their eyes fell on the paper and just like that they signed. As the tip of the pen left the yellow paper, the status of their relationship changed too.

They both handed back the papers and the rest of the minutes in the office passed in a haze. The lawyer explained some details and processes but neither of them really heard it. They had just signed the papers! How can they focus on anything else?

* * *

Few minutes later both of them were descending the staircase keeping enough distance so that they were not touching. Robert was walking one step in front of her and Cora followed him wordlessly, keeping her eyes on the steps below her. As they reached the landing and exited the front door, the cool January air swished by them and they both shivered. Cora wrapped her maroon scarf more tightly around her neck as Robert put his hands in his coat pockets to keep them warm.

Okay, now what? What does one exactly say after a divorce? Both waited a few awkward minutes as they saw the cars run by in front of them on the road.

Robert flinched momentarily and Cora's eyes snapped to his direction. His hands were placed on his abdomen and he firmly caressed it up and down before they went back into his pockets.

"What is it?" Cora asked suddenly.

"What?" Robert asked, somewhat surprised.

"No, I mean.." she gestured towards his abdomen "Are you okay?"

"Oh, yes, I am fine, I think I pulled a muscle or something, it was just a slight pain, its fine now"

Cora knitted her brows together and looked at him for a moment before looking away, In honesty, he didn't look well overall, but she suppose so didn't she. With all the stress plus she knew he was overtiring himself and with constant shifting he was bound to be.

"When is your flight tomorrow?" she asked casually as she softly kicked a pebble in front of her shoe.

"10 in the morning." He replied staring at her foot.

"Hmm" she hummed.

"Cora, I think.." he looked at her and she looked back. This was the first proper eye contact they made since they left the office.

"Yes?" she said, placing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Well, now that we're officially divorced.."

"Not fully.." she added and then just realized how unnecessary that was. She immediately looked down and shook her head "Sorry, you were saying".

Robert clasped his hands together and continued "Well, since we are almost fully divorced, I just wanted to say that I would prefer if the final set of papers were sent to me in Germany, I mean if you don't mind.."

"No, I don't" Cora nodded softly, of course she understood "I understand"

"Yes, well I just think it will be easier that way, you know less hassle" And probably less pain. Signing together was so hard, when all the memories kept hitting home. But of course he wouldn't say that.

"I understand and I'll have them sent, don't worry"

Another span of silence and they both waited for the other to say goodbye.

"Well then" Robert finally said "I'll see you when I see you" he said and she looked at him.

She knew what he meant, he'll see her when he'll see her as in after a year or two and that too only because he'd be back and they'd both be asked to attend some birthday or anniversary of a relative. In short, no idea when exactly. Cora gulped as she tried to control the tears she felt in her throat.

She nodded back "Yeah, I'll see you" she almost whispered and managed to smile softly through the tears. She could see the same pain etched all over his face.

He looked at her and all of a sudden his legs move on their own accord and the next second he was hugging her. He only realised what he was doing when he felt her hug him back. She clung to him and buried her face in his shoulder to hide her tears. Robert relaxed that she wasn't pushing him away and then tightened his grip on her and he did the same thing she did, buried his face in her shoulder. They both took their time to calm down.

"It was for the best, wasn't it?" she heard herself questioning it, it was almost a whisper.

She felt Robert's breath on her neck and after a moment he nodded and replied "Yes, yes it was time now"

She nodded at his answer as more tears fell down her eyes, making a dark patch on the pad of his coat's shoulder. She let his scent calm her down.

"Good luck, Robert, for everything that you do" she sniffed.

"You too, Cor" he softly lolled his head to that his cheek was touching hers.

The use of her nickname made her lips form a small smile. She only ever liked it when he used it. No one else was allowed to call her Cor. Ever.

They held each other for a few minutes and Cora almost had the urge to fall asleep just right there but then he moved away and took her soft hand in his. He stared at her knuckles as he slowly passed his fingers over them and said "It's all done and over with but I just want to say thank you for making me a better man" he looked at her and she knew he meant it "thank you for giving me three amazing daughters and no matter what, we have had some wonderful years together and I just want you to know that they will always be the highlight of my life" he sadly smiled at her squeezing her hand to make sure she knew that he meant it.

 _Oh, Robert!_

She nodded as she wiped away her tears from her face "Mine, too. It's all gone downhill but all these years.." she took his other hand in hers "I have never, not for one second, regretted marrying you" she smiled and he smiled back. "I did have my dreamy married life and I will always be so grateful to you for all those years"

Robert squeezed her hands and nodded and she nodded back.

"Bye, Robert"

"Bye, Cora. And such good luck"

With that, their hands untangled and they both went separate ways. Different routes, which from now on, might not ever collide.

* * *

Cora came out of the bathroom and sighed. The hot bath had done her good. She couldn't stop replaying the conversation with Robert in her head and it gave her a headache. She didn't want to think about it, not right now. Not today. Today was already too much.

She stepped outside with a bottle of her lotion as she poured the cold, thick liquid on her hands to apply to her hands and feet. The smell invaded her nose as she closed her eyes and tried to focus on the pleasant smell.

"Cora?" she heard Simon as her eyes snapped open. He had a giant mug of tea in his hand as he entered the room to sit on the bed, next to her.

"Oh, when did you come back?" Cora asked as she continued to apply lotion to her arms.

"Just half an hour ago" he replied taking another sip of his tea. "So, how did it go? The papers have been sorted out right? There's no issue?" he asked quickly, very obviously excited to hear her nod at it.

Cora sighed as she stood up and went to her dressing table to put back the bottle. She sat on the footstool as she sought out her night cream and opened its lid. "No" she replied, keeping her voice calm "No, there were no issues." She took out a small amount on her hand when she spoke again, without looking at him "We signed them" she looked at the perfect swirl the cream made on her palm while Simon who was obviously holding his breath jumped up and reached at her side within half a second.

"Oh, finally!" he grinned as he hugged her from behind. Cora bit her lip because for some reason she wanted to cry. She really wanted to cry and she didn't even know why. She sucked in her breath as Simon started kissing her neck so she gently nudged her elbow to his ribs to push him away.

"Um, yes, well it's not hundred percent confirmed yet.."

"But still!" He cut her and threw his hand in the air "It's a great big step"

A great big step. It was a step, to where? She didn't know but somewhere where their lives – hers and Robert would be better but by what she felt, there was nothing, absolutely nothing big or great about it,

Cora nodded as she applied the cream from her hand to her face. After that she got up and Simon blocked her way, wrapping his hands around her waist.

He buried his nose like Robert had buried it in her shoulder earlier that day and it just made her heart race. That conversation and that hug coming back to her mind, making her stomach feel unsettled.

Today was a big deal. She finally did what she hoped was a way to find a better life, a step forward but she felt nothing that would indicate a slight sense of achievement or progress. She kept seeing those sad blue eyes and the way his fingers swiped over her knuckles. It would get better with time. For all she knew Robert wouldn't have suggested divorce himself but he knew it as much as she did that there was no good way out of it. Right now she needed to find her way back to real, productive life, much like Robert was doing. She so hoped he did well in Germany, she couldn't remember the last time she had seen him really happy. And when was the last time she had been happy? Oh, all too long ago.

The trail of kisses down her neck brought her out of her thoughts and she felt that funny feeling in her stomach again. No, she did not want that. She pushed him away.

"Simon" he looked at her almost surprised.

"Babe, what is it?"

Cora ran a hand through her hair and replied "Not tonight. I am too tired"

"But it' such a happy day!" he placed his argument.

"It isn't a ha-" but Cora bit her tongue. No, she didn't have the energy to fight anymore "I just want to sleep okay? Please"

Simon nodded and went out to the lounge.

Cora lied on the bed and sighed. It will get better, she told herself. She made the most difficult decision of her life so it must be. It must get better for both her and Robert. They deserved to be happy, both of them. And they will be. One step at a time.

* * *

Robert went back to Germany the very next day. Rosamund, Bates and Mary came to the airport to say goodbyes. Robert had told Mary about the divorce last night when she had called and Ros and Bates already knew. Mary didn't react much, she only said "Alright, Papa" but then again, she wasn't the one to show emotions. Robert had asked her not to tell anyone else just yet; that they'll break the news slowly and she had agreed saying it was their own business. So, the three of them waved him off, having met almost every other member on the New Year's party, many of them simply called to wish him well. Isobel sent a card and Mama had come to say goodbye last night.

He settled back to his routine easily. He joined back the company the second day and Charlie Carson, his manager there updated him on all the happenings. He proved to be very efficient and Robert was most glad about it. The staff here was nice and he was glad that the things were running smoothly. It was most important to be highly efficient when the company was so young in a foreign land. He was actually happy to be back here. It felt like an escape, lately he'd felt so glum in England that Germany felt far more refreshing.

He was sitting at his office, reading some financial statements when Charlie Carson came in the door.

"Sir, can I have a moment?"

"Of course, Carson, come in"

The older Englishman nodded and came in. "Sir, I was wondering if we could drag back the meeting on the 20th to 18th"

"Oh" Robert adjusted his reading glasses and took a look at the schedule. "The one with the Human Resource department?"

"Preciously, Sir"

Robert nodded "Any particular reason?"

Carson adjusted his gray suit and started to speak "Well, we have the meeting with the Italian company on the 22nd and the staff here seemed nervous about it, I thought that if we could drag this one a little earlier, it might give them more time to prepare or rather, ease their nerves"

Robert chuckled at his comment. Robert was always the one to create a paternalistic and a democratic behavior in the firm and always encouraged new ideas and working processes so he was impressed by this suggestion. In fact he should have thought about it himself.

"Very well. Carson. 18th it is" Carson nodded with a tiny smile.

"Would you like some tea?" he asked Carson as he was about to order some for himself.

"I wouldn't mind a cup" Carson replied and Robert smiled as he ordered for tea.

A few minutes passed in harmless chitchat over tea when Robert asked "Why did you decide to come here? In Germany, I mean"

Carson looked at Robert and sighed "Oh, it wasn't that I wasn't happy with my old job in Manchester but I fancied a change. It's been 10 years since my wife, Alice passed away and since then I have been wanting to make some changes in life, to have one last adventure before I die and when the offer came up, it felt just right"

Robert smiled softly and nodded at him. He wondered how many other men have moved because they were sick and tired of their life. His case was very different but a want for change was the similar in both cases.

Carson took a sip and asked "What about you, Sir, we weren't expecting you. We were expecting a certain John Bates to lead us"

"Ah" Robert said as he placed his tea cup back in the saucer. "I fancied a change too" he said as he walked towards the giant window, giving him a clear view of Berlin.

Carson kept looking at him so Robert elaborated a little further "Actually John, my friend, is expecting a baby real soon and it did feel unfair to make him move for an uncertain amount of time at such a stage and besides I was more than willing to come"

He saw Carson nod, sitting in his seat and the expression that passed through his face for the tiniest of second said it all, of course he had read the papers and the gossip. Why would they spare the CEO of such a large company?

Robert came back to his desk to pick up his teacup "But I am sure you've read the papers…no, no it's alright" he politely added when he saw Carson tense "And I think it's good to have trusting and a reliable relationship with my staff. My wife and I have been separated for some time and currently we are in the process of getting a divorce but none of that rubbish in the papers about us being at each other's throat or fights over money and property are true. We are still on good terms"

Carson nodded "Thank you, Sir, for trusting us with this"

Robert smiled back as he sat back down on the chair.

* * *

The next day was a Sunday so Robert decided to go for a jog because it was a beautiful day. It was great and enjoyable until the side of his stomach started to hurt. Painful sharp, knife like pokes which would fade in a second or two. His legs ached too. Obviously being out of practice and becoming over enthusiastic about exercise was not a good idea. He slowly walked back towards the house. He decided to use this day productively and make this house a little homely. If he were to live here for some time, why not make it a little more home like. He walked back to the house and entered his street, he was about to unlock the front door when he heard a woman curse somewhere in the distance that made his head snap into that direction.

The voice came from the house opposite his where he saw a woman bend over whom had accidently dropped some gardening material from her hands. Robert walked towards her and saw a sixty something woman with chocolate brown hair muttering "Damn you" at the items and frantically trying to collect them back. Robert saw a bag of fertilizer and a shovel at the edge of her tiny garden outside her house so he bend forward to collect them for her.

"Here you go, ma'am" he said as he handed the things back to her. Only then the woman looked up and noticed his presence.

"Thank you so much" Ah, Scottish accent, he smiled as his cousin Susan and Shrimpy and their beautiful inherited castle came to his mind. He had made great memories there with Cora and the girls.

"No worries" he smiled.

The woman knitted her brows and asked "Are you new here? I don't remember any English neighbor"

Robert smiled and replied "Yes, well actually I live in that house" he motioned at his back "I moved here just a few days ago"

"Oh, that is good. What is your name?"

"Robert. Robert Crawley"

The woman placed the gardening items on the ground and extended her hand "I am Elsie. Elsie Hughes"

"Oh, nice to meet you Mrs. Hughes" he took her hand.

"You too, I am actually happy to have someone over from England here"

"Oh, I thought you'd be from Scotland" Robert added.

"I am. I spent most of my life there but the last twenty years in England and since the past 2 years, I'm here" Mrs. Hughes smiled.

"Quite an adventurous and a mysterious life" he chuckled.

"Ah, a woman of mystery if ever there was one" she smirked.

Robert chuckled as a tiny bowl placed on the ground among other items rolled farther. Robert went and picked it up and immediately flinched because he felt the same sharp stab again.

He handed it back to her.

"Are you okay, Mr. Crawley?"

"Yes" Robert said as he took a breath "I am fine, I just exerted my muscles I think and please call me Robert"

"Alright, Robert, thanks for the help"

"No problem"

He walked back the house when he heard Mrs. Hughes call him "Come for tea some time why don't you?"

Robert smiled and nodded his head in approval and went back to his house.

Robert spent the day putting pictures on the fridge, placing his favorite blanket and throw cushions he had brought with him from his home.

He had chosen some photographs from the New Year's party and had them framed. He rolled up his sleeves and sat on the floor to sort them out. He carefully opened the boxes and the bubble wrap off of the frames, careful with the delicate glass. He chose a family photo Sybil had insisted on after everyone had left and it was a beautiful shot. It had everyone, everyone close to him in it. Robert smiled as he looked at the picture. It was a real candid shot between the shoot and it was his favorite. Edith has cracked a joke and Rosamund had snorted and every one in their family reacted to the situation in different ways and it turned into a beautiful family shot. Robert was in it too, a maid of Mary's had taken the picture. He placed that picture aside; he decided to hang it in his bedroom.

The next photo he chose was of all his children, Mary, Edith, Sybil with their husbands and Robert had immediately loved that picture. All his girls so happy with such caring husband, the thought always put a smile on his face. He placed that frame at the side table of the sofa. Another picture he chose was of Rosamund and Mama, laughing at something and he decided to put this in one of his rooms too. He sorted out more photos when eventually he eyes fell on the one placed at the very end of the box.

He took out the frame and carefully unwrapped the bubble wrap. His eyes fell on the face he had loved so much over the years. The face that made him lose his breath. It was the same picture of Cora he had taken at the New Year's party and the more he looked at it, the more beautiful it became. His fingertips ran across the face in the picture and he felt his heart tug at it. He looked at the picture for a few more minutes when he sighed. He knew he shouldn't, he promised he would move on but this picture. He needed that. He placed that on the first table next to the large couch. He didn't want it in his room, no, but in the lounge yes. So that every time he comes back to an empty house, the only face his eyes would fell on was hers. And that made it home for him. He smiled sadly; he turned this house into a home.

* * *

 _Finally updating, hah! I did actually look up to laws of divorce in UK and I wanted it as less technical as possible. In reality there are a lot more stages but I didn't want to drag it and bore you all so I shortened it. Sorry, if there is any divorce lawyer out here who is offended!_

 _So I hope it's clear but if it isn't, they have signed the papers of divorce BUT they need to be finalised. They both have confirmed divorce from their sides but as by law, a couple is given some more time to think one last time._

 _Well, since I had Mr. Carson, Mrs Hughes was v. important haha._

 _PLEASE do let me know what you all think!_


	18. Chapter 18

"Sir?" Charles Carson peeked in Robert's office, asking his permission to enter. Robert who was busy taking his coat off the hanger turned his head at his voice.

"Carson, yes? Come in"

"Sir, I was wondering if you had the contract papers of the South side location" Carson said as he walked in.

"Oh, Carson" Robert bit his lower lip as he tapped the desk trying to remember "I'm afraid I left those at home. I was going through them last night and I left them on my counter. Is it urgent now?"

"Oh, well, it's just that I wanted to brief Brian and Adele once more as they're expected to meet the party after the weekend"

"Oh, yes, yes. Well, I am going home, I'll have the driver bring them back. I don't have any more meetings today"

"Oh, I was going out for a bite myself, I can come with you and go from there, it'll save time" Carson suggested.

"Very well, let's go" Robert adjusted his coat and took a leave with Carson.

* * *

Robert unlocked the front door with Carson in tow and they both entered.

"Have you settled in nicely, Sir?" Carson asked looking around the house. He hadn't been here since the time he picked it out with Robert.

"Oh, yes, I guess so" Robert said as he went around the room to collect the papers.

Carson looked around the house, noticing the family pictures he'd placed and he smiled. He had heard quite a lot about his family and he could recognize a few people, he knew of Robert and of course his mother through the papers. He had also seen the handsome blonde guy in the pictures; he knew he was a lawyer. He saw a picture of a beautiful woman which he assumed was Robert's ex-wife, or almost ex-wife? It was strange to keep her photo like this but he didn't know any of the stories so he shouldn't pass surmises. They looked like one happy family from the pictures and maybe they were, but Mr. Crawley himself was clearly struggling with a midlife crisis. He liked his boss, very much and dearly hoped that he'd settle well here.

"Ah, here you go" Robert came back with his hands full of papers and handed them to Carson with a smile. The stack was huge and heavy and Robert felt a bit guilty knowing it was the weekend "But you must have some rest Carson, let someone else do some work"

Carson raised his eyebrows and shook his head lightly with a smile "Oh, don't worry about that Sir, we're all working and to be honest, I'd feel better when I'm done with this"

Robert chuckled at him. Carson was one efficient worker and he was glad to have him here.

"Oh, hello, am I interrupting?" A feminine voice from the door made their heads turn. Mrs. Hughes was standing by the door with her hands full. She was carrying a tray of biscuits and they smelled divine.

"Mrs. Hughes" Robert hooted in surprise "What a surprise"

Mrs. Hughes entered with a smile and placed the tray on the center table of the living room "I just baked some biscuits. I hope you like chocolate"

"You're very kind, Mrs. Hughes. Thank you" Mrs. Hughes smiled back and looked at his friend.

Mr. Carson immediately blushed as his eyes came in contact with Mrs. Hughes. Robert noticed the awkwardness and bit his lip to suppress the chuckle.

"Mrs. Hughes, this is my colleague Charles Carson, as you can see he is also from England. Carson, this is my neighbor, Mrs. Hughes"

"Nice to meet you Mr. Carson" Mrs. Hughes extended her hand and Mr. Carson immediately took it. Robert was finding this exchange most adorable and amusing.

"Likewise, Mrs. Hughes" Carson smiled.

The phone rang in the distance and Robert excused himself, leaving both Carson and Mrs. Hughes in an awkward silence.

"So, are you the one with the very pretty garden?" Carson asked chewing the inside of his cheek.

Mrs. Hughes raised her eyebrows "I am. You're very observant"

Carson tested his luck "I have a good eye for beautiful things" he tried to flirt but his heart beat accelerated when the woman in front of him looked at him with a slight, very pretty blush, but raised eyebrows. "Ah..that is.. I mean, I have been here before, I selected the house with Sir, I found your garden very appealing"

Mrs. Hughes chuckled at his nervousness as Robert came back.

"Sorry about that" Robert said locking his phone and smiled "What did I miss?" he asked.

"Only that Mr. Carson finds my garden very pretty" Mr. Carson turned the color of beetroot and both Robert and Mrs. Hughes chuckled lightly.

"On a serious note, Mr. Carson" Mrs. Hughes said "I'd be happy to show you whenever you want" she said this time with a genuine smile and Carson's face turned to its normal color.

"I'd like that very much" Carson smiled back and Mrs. Hughes returned it.

"Oh well, I'd better be off. I'll see you tomorrow Robert"

Robert smiled "Yes, definitely. Looking forward to it" he smiled back and they all walked to the door to see off Mrs. Hughes .

"Goodbye Mr. Carson, I'll see you soon again, I hope"

"I hope the same" Carson smiled back as Mrs. Hughes took her leave.

Carson raised his eyebrows at Robert and Robert replied "Oh, she invited me to dinner tomorrow"

"Oh" Carson replied.

Robert once again wanted to laugh. Old age romance was one of the things he found the cutest. He never saw much affection between his parents so it was something he hadn't seen much in real life. He was hoping he and Cora would be such an example for his children but oh, well, that went down the drain. But he was sure of one thing; if he had stayed with Cora he would have loved her till his last breath. He still does, but he can't do much about proving it to her. The thought struck him once again, he had been trying not to think much about it but he just can't help it. Tomorrow was their wedding anniversary. 16th February, marking twenty nine years of their marriage and this was the last time they'll be husband and wife. It's not like they've celebrated it in the past many years since they weren't together but at least the status of the relationship was 'married' now that's the end of it and the thought hurt him and made him sad. He wasn't the one for mingling but when Mrs. Hughes invited him to dinner on the day of their anniversary obviously oblivious to the fact that it was their anniversary, he jumped at the chance. Some company to distract him should do the trick. And besides, Mrs. Hughes was a nice, sensible woman. He bet she had very interesting stories to tell since she's lived in so many different places, the stories must be very interesting. Yes, yes, that shall do.

Carson noticing the faraway look in Robert's eyes coughed, shaking Robert out of his reverie.

"Well, I'll take my leave then. Have a good weekend, Sir"

"You too, Carson, and don't overtire yourself"

Carson turned around and replied "I should say the same to you, Sir"

Robert chuckled as he locked the door.

* * *

"Do you want to take this blue shirt?" Cora asked as she shuffled through Simon's clothes.

"Which one?" he asked from under the bed. He had accidentally dropped his watch under the bed and now he was struggling to find it.

Cora threw the shirt in his direction and Simon caught it just in time "Oh, this one...no leave this, where's the black one?" he asked as he went back inside in search of his watch.

Cora sighed "You never picked it up from the laundry"

Simon finally finding his watch stood up "Here it is! And oh, didn't I? Never mind, I'll just take this blue one"

Cora nodded and started to fold it so she can put it in his carry bag.

"Why aren't you staying with your sister?" Cora asked as she made space for his pants.

"She's gone to Venice with her family and besides it's only 3 days and she never lets me go until I've stayed at least a week."

Cora smiled; Simon's sister Clair was nice. She was sweet and resided in Manchester with her family where Simon was off to for a meeting. She had only met her couple of times and her conclusion was that she was sweet. She was wiser then Simon but not very easy to talk to, maybe that's because she was always nervous. Unlike Rosamund, Cora chuckled to herself when she thought back to when Robert first introduced her to Rosamund. Robert had told Ros so much about her that she literally jumped at her for a bear hug at the first 'hello' Cora was surprised at first but oh how she loved her. Even after all that had happened between Cora and Robert, Rosamund never took sides. She said that she will always be Robert's sister but she will also, always be Cora's friend first before her sister-in-law. In fact she was coming to spend the day tomorrow with Cora. Cora knew why, it was because it was her anniversary and with Simon not there to distract her, she was bound to think about it and be sad and somehow Ros guessed it all and planned to spend the whole day with Cora. She was so kind and sweet but she had fire in her as well, something she inherited from her Mama.

She was one firecracker that was sure. Cora remembered she was so nervous the day she had to meet her first time and she was only meeting Rosamund. It was after her and Robert had dated for about 5 months. She already knew that meeting Robert's mother was going to be a difficult task but Ros was the first one she was meeting and she was super nervous.

 _"But what if she hates me?" Cora asked as Robert snuggled up to her from her behind as they sat on the couch one night._

 _Robert chuckled as he pressed his lips to her neck "Why would she hate you? Who could hate such a pretty face?"_

 _Cora rolled her eyes and replied "I am serious Robert"_

 _"So am I, Cor" he rested his cheek against her as they swayed gently._

 _"I heard your mother doesn't really warm up to Americans"_

 _Robert raised his eyebrows at her._

 _"I have done my homework" she said with a grin._

 _"Always one step ahead. That's my girl" he kissed her cheek._

 _"So it's true?" her smile disappeared "She hates Americans so she'll obviously_ _hate me. And I am dating her only son, oh God"_

 _"She won't hate you, baby" Robert turned her around in his lap so that she was facing him. He rested his hands on her waist as she placed hers lightly on his shoulders. "How can anyone hate you? You're kind, you're smart, you're successful, you're well mannered, you're breathtakingly beautiful" Cora blushed at such compliments, Robert took her chin in his hands and she looked up to him "And those eyes" he said slowly "they can melt mountains, so what is my mother and sister in comparison" Cora laughed as her blush deepened._

 _"You are such a flatterer" she said._

 _"I am no such thing. In fact I am brutally honest" he replied brushing her cheek._

 _"Oh, so my eyes can melt mountains you say"_

 _"Totally" he said in such enthusiasm that Cora couldn't help her laughter. "They've melted me, haven't they?" he said, this time with a serious shade to his voice._

 _"Yeah?" she replied._

 _"Yes" as he leaned forward and took her lips in his. Cora cupped his face and Robert's hands started roaming around her back. Cora buried her fingers inside his hair and_ –

"Cora?" Simon's voice brought her back to reality and she sighed.

"Yeah?" she replied shaking her head.

"Have you seen my shaving kit?"

Cora ran a hand through her hair and replied "It's in the washroom"

"You're a darling, babe" he said loudly as he went towards the washroom.

* * *

Cora woke up bright and early the next day, it was Saturday and she could go back to sleep but she knew sleep was far far away. So she got up, she had some business at the gallery in few hours so she decided to treat herself with a slow, long relaxing bath before she had to leave for work and besides, it was better to be done with it quickly because her dear sister-in-law was coming to spend the whole day with her. She went towards the bathroom and drew herself a warm bath. She used her favorite bath bomb and relaxed in the warm water with a sigh. She took her phone with her and opened up to see Facebook reminding and wishing her for her anniversary. Great! She had almost forgotten about that. She wasn't much of a social media user and she never bothered to remove the date and now she was kind of regretting it. Oh, can't she just block her mind and not think about her anniversary. Not think about Robert actually. What was he doing? What was he thinking? He was probably still sleeping or working, she didn't know. She wasn't in contact with him; she had only heard news second handedly from her daughters. As far as she knew, he was doing well and was keeping himself very busy. She just hoped he wasn't overtiring himself. He looked a bit ill the day they met for divorce. And ah, speaking of divorce, they were almost done with divorce, just a few more weeks really before the final signature and today was the last EVER anniversary they were once again not celebrating but last anniversary before they bid farewell to the status 'married' because they won't be married longer. They'd be divorced. Her mind was going places she didn't want it to go so she shook herself. No more of that. She opened her playlist to select a song to distract herself. She put it on shuffle and set the phone aside. Suddenly 'I Will Always Love You' by Whitney Houston blasted through the phone.

"Oh, come on!" she groaned and shut off her phone.

* * *

Robert woke up a little later than 9 the next day. He usually got up around 7 but it was Saturday and he deserved a break. He went for a quick shower and then ran out for his daily jog. He passed by Mrs. Hughes who was working in her garden as always.

"Morning Mrs. Hughes" he waved and he jogged by.

"Good morning, Robert" she waved back.

Robert jogged for a while before that sharp pain nudged him from inside his belly. He should definitely see a doctor, because as much as he thought, it wasn't just a muscle he'd pulled. The feeling was strange, sharp as if knives were poking him from the inside. He hoped it wasn't something that would take long to heal, he just didn't have time. He had a lovely walking track nearby his home which had become his daily domicile. Jogging did him good, it refreshed him, his mind had a chance to escape and his body got rid of toxins. Yes, good for everyone. He passed by stores which were still getting rid of Valentine's Day material. The day was very overrated in his opinion. All the red balloons, cards and God know what else was littered everywhere. He passed by a flower shop and saw incredible amount of beautiful red roses. Robert loved roses and loved buying them for Cora; it was a bonus that Cora's two favorite flowers were roses and lilies. They always made her day which obviously made Robert's day. And yes, thinking of marital duties, harmony and roses, today was their anniversary. Oh yes, 29 years of Cora and Robert today and the last of Cora and Robert also today. They didn't even make it to 30. They had so many plans; they had decided that when they'd be married for 40 years, they'll go together on a world tour. They've been to many countries together and both of them loved travelling but there were many small and seemingly insignificant countries which Cora was sure of that they were among the best ones but just haven't been given much exposure and Robert had promised her that they'll visit as many countries as possible together. The thought made him sad, if they were still together and he hadn't moved to Germany, he would definitely have retired or at least taken a long leave by the time they were married 40 years. But no one knows what's coming.

After his jog, Robert went to a nearby café and had his breakfast as he skimmed through the English newspaper. He didn't have many plans for today, just dinner with Mrs. Hughes so he had planned to spend the day completing some work, walking about the town and reading a book. Nothing major.

* * *

Cora finished her work at the gallery just in time to meet Rosamund at the mall. They had decided to spend the day shopping and spoiling themselves by going to the spa. And frankly both of them needed it.

"Cora, my dear" Rosamund greeted her as she met her inside the mall.

"Hi, Rosamund. Good?"

"Oh, fine fine" Rosamund linked her arms with Cora as they started walking. "Are you hungry"

"Not terribly"

"Me neither. Let's go there, they've opened some new shops" she pointed to the left and Cora started following her. Cora's eyes roamed around the mall. A few red balloons still hung from the roof and Cora rolled her eyes. She and Robert both weren't big fans of Valentine's Day and today she was already annoyed at finding everything so lovey dovey. Rosamund noticed her changed expressions and asked "What?"

Cora huffed "Nothing"

"Come on, tell me"

Cora sighed "Oh, it's just, today everything keeps pouring out links with love, it's so annoying"

"Well" Rosamund sighed "It wasn't my idea that you both get married so near Valentine's Day"

Cora rolled her eyes at her "Oh, yeah it was your brother"

Rosamund laughed "It was so hectic, remember"

"I still don't know how we muddled through it, somehow everyone was busy for the next 50 years"

Rosamund laughed out loud "Until Robert said to just settle on the 16th"

"Poor Robert" Cora laughed then sighed "But it turned out alright, didn't it?"

"Oh, your wedding is the one everyone still talks about. It was beautiful"

Cora sighed in a sort of dreamy way "Yes, yes it was"

 _Cora still remembered their wedding preparations. It was so exhausting. Robert's mother was not willing to accept Cora for the longest time and when she did, she did so coldly. Cora's parents were having a hard time to book the seats to London at the right time, Harold had other important plans. Rosamund and Marmaduke had planned on going to a second honeymoon come January. Everything was a mess as they had planned to get married in December or maximum January but nothing was working out and then to top it all, Cora's favorite wedding planners were tightly booked and Cora had a breakdown. Then one day Robert spent one whole evening listing everything out. He was a pro and it was adorable how he made points of when everyone was busy and brought the whole chart in front of a sobbing Cora._

 _"What's this?" she said sniffing._

 _"This, my darling is our wedding plan"_

 _"What?" She stopped crying and looked at the giant white chart paper curiously. Everything was color coded and marked accordingly. Robert_ _picked her up and made her sit on his lap and encircled his arms around her tiny waist._

 _"You see this, this is when Mama and Papa are unavailable and this is at the same time when Harold has his yacht business. Now jump three weeks and Martha and Isidore are free and I have talked to Ros, she can extend the plan till late February so you will have her help as well"_

 _"Robert, how did you" Cora asked looking surprised, her future husband had spent his whole evening trying to make out a plan which would make everyone happy. Oh, how she loved him._

 _"And" he said taking out a small notepad from his pocket "Your wedding planners happen to be free that time"_

 _Cora gasped staring at the availability of dates._

 _"I know it's a little late than what we wanted but it's only a month and "_

 _"No, oh my God" Cora replied brushing away the tears that were threatening to fall out any second._

 _"No?" Robert gulped._

 _"No, no, I mean, yes" Cora said still trying to comprehend everything._

 _"Cora, sweetie what are you saying?"_

 _Cora linked her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes "I mean" she said "that I love you so, so much, Robert Crawley"_

 _Robert smiled the smile she loved. "I love you too, angel" he said kissing her nose "So you approve?" he asked._

 _"Approve? Hell yes. Make me a Crawley!"_

 _Robert laughed out loud "No one is as desperate as I am"_

 _Cora stroked his cheek the way he did occasionally to her and took her hand and kissed the back of it._

 _"So what do you say" Robert said looking at the chart "the 18_ _th_ _or 16_ _th_ _? We have 14_ _th_ _too"_

 _They both looked at each other and simultaneously scrunched up their noses and said "Nah"_

 _They both didn't want to get married on Valentine 's Day. What could be more stupid?_

 _"Um 16_ _th_ _?" Robert asked._

 _"16_ _th_ _it is, not too soon not too late and Ros has to leave soon too and I can't have my maid of honor carrying a suitcase with me down the aisle"_

 _Robert laughed at her comment. "16_ _th_ _February"_

 _Cora leaned in and rubbed her nose against his "Mr and Mrs Crawley"_

 _"Yes" he said and he lightly gripped the back of her neck and kissed her lips before placing her down on the bed then covering her body with his._

"Cora?" Rosamund shook her arm.

"Yeah?" Cora replied "Sorry I was miles away"

Rosamund gave her a sad smile and took her hand "Let's go" and they went towards the shops.

* * *

Robert adjusted his coat again and finally knocked on the door.

Mrs. Hughes opened the door and greeted Robert with a smile "Do, come in" Robert gave her the wine he brought and Mrs. Hughes thanked him for it.

"I do hope you eat pasta"

Robert chuckled as he followed her to the living room.

"Don't worry, I love pasta"

"That's good" Mrs. Hughes offered him a glass as they sat down for dinner.

Dinner was passing quite easily. Mrs. Hughes was easy to talk to. They talked about how they're finding life in Germany and if Robert had settled in nicely. Mrs. Hughes told him that she had always loved travelling and the little family she's got is in Yorkshire. Robert told about his mother and daughters. She had heard about his mother through tabloids and of Robert's company.

"So your friend, Carson?"

Robert chuckled at his mention "What about him?"

Mrs. Hughes tried not to be obvious "What does he do, how's his family?"

Robert took a mouthful before replying "He is under me, very efficient. Had a wife, now she's died, no children as far as I know"

"Oh" she said taking a sip of her wine.

"What about you Mrs. Hughes?"

"Oh, me" Mrs. Hughes "Never married"

"May I ask why?"

"Never found anyone to my taste" she shrugged.

"Very picky?" he chuckled.

"Just very specific"

Robert nodded.

"And you?" Mrs. Hughes asked "You said you have daughters, what about your wife?"

"My wife, yes. Her name is Cora, we were married very happily for 25 years but things didn't work out alright and now we are in the process of a divorce"

"Oh, I am sorry" Mrs. Hughes replied dabbing the side of her mouth with a napkin.

"It's alright. It's sad yes, because we never thought it would come to this but we never know what happens so" he shrugged.

"25years?"

"29 today" he replied looking down as he twirl the pasta around his fork.

"Well, I'd say congratulations but.." they both laughed lightly.

"Yeah well, we'd be divorced soon, in a few weeks really"

Mrs. Hughes nodded as they both got up to go to the balcony.

* * *

Cora and Rosamund after a tiring day sat together in Cora's lounge. They had plans for dinner but they were too tired to dine out so they decided on a home delivery at Cora's place. After dinner they both sat drinking wine on Cora's couch. Both were a little more than drunk but it was the weekend so.

"Did you do something for Valentine's Day?" Rosamund circled the rim of her glass as she asked Cora.

"Nah. Simon bought me some flowers. Tulips, can you imagine"

Cora was allergic to tulips.

Rosamund snorted at her reply and Cora laughed at her response.

"You know me. Never the one to make a big deal of this day"

Rosamund took another sip "You and Robert both"

"Yes and besides we had anniversary two days later so .." Cora shrugged and took a sip.

"I talked to Robert yesterday" Rosamund said.

"Oh?" Cora replied taking another sip.

"Yeah he had some people over and it was only brief. I think he is settling in nicely"

Cora let out a sigh of relief "That's good, I hope he isn't working too much" she added.

"I think he is, but he needs it." Rosamund looked at her and Cora nodded in response, understanding the meaning.

"I hope he is not getting ill, he didn't seem too well when I met him last"

"The divorce?" Rosamund asked.

"Hmm"

"Sometimes I.." Cora said but immediately stopped.

"What?" Rosamund asked, sitting more straightly on the couch.

"Never mind"

"Tell me"

"Sometimes" Cora sighed "I feel like I forced him to move away and that it's all my fault that he is away from the people he loves and he is exhausting himself because of me" she said as her tears started falling down.

"Cora, no" Rosamund wrapped her arms around Cora's tiny frame "It takes two. I am telling you this and I always say the same to Robert. It's all done now, there's no point in questioning the 'what ifs' He is living his life and you are living yours"

"But" Cora gulped as more tears fell "I forced him away. Rosamund did you look at him" Cora sat up straighter, her face drenched in tears "Did you see how pale he looked, I am so worried about him and it's all my fault"

"No, Cora" Rosamund took her hands "It isn't. You must believe that" Cora nodded and snuggled close to Rosamund. She almost fell asleep before she whispered "I do miss him you know. I miss my husband of 25 years, I miss my best friend and my rock. We were both so stupid, we took everything for granted and we lost everything. We lost so many things in one go and it's just…it's hard accepting that"

Rosamund sighed and caressed her arm lovingly "I know, Cor. After you two, it's me who is most sad about it all. After all, I was always the biggest shipper" Cora smiled as her eyes closed.

* * *

Robert took in the air in the balcony as Mrs. Hughes came back with two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. He had already had 3 glasses and he shouldn't drink more but hey, it's the weekend.

"Here you go" Robert took in a sip before speaking.

"Didn't take you as a whiskey drinker" he said

"Woman a mystery, Mr Crawley" she winked at Robert and he smiled

They both sat in silence before Mrs. Hughes spoke "Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead" he granted as he took in another sip.

"The picture in your living room, is that your wife?"

Robert smiled as he poured himself another drink "Yes"

"She seemed pretty, I didn't have a chance to look at the picture properly but she looked beautiful"

"She is" he took out his phone from his pocket "She is beautiful" he scrolled through his gallery and found a few pictures of Cora and showed it to her.

Mrs. Hughes observed in silence and then replied "She is gorgeous"

Robert smiled "Yeah" and took in another sip.

"You…you still love her"

Robert sighed as he ran a hand into his hair "Yes, I do"

"Does she love you?" she tested her luck.

"Yes, I think so"

"Then.."

"It's complicated, Mrs. Hughes. Lately we just bring out the worst in each other and we don't want that"

Mrs. Hughes nodded. Robert drank a bit more before saying "I am not unfeeling, Mrs. Hughes"

"I never said you were"

"No, I mean, I do miss her. I miss her terribly. I miss my past before all the shit happened"

"I know, I can see that" Mrs. Hughes smiled at him.

"And today" Robert added "Today it just makes it all harder. Because this is our last anniversary and in a few weeks we're fully divorced, we're miles apart and she's probably just as drunk" he smiled sadly.

He picked up the bottle to pour another glass but he winced "Is it your pain?" she questioned.

"Yes" he sighed as he recovered from the pain.

"You should see a doctor"

"I know"

"I know one, he's very good"

"Oh, can you give me his number?"

* * *

 ** _Hey, guys! I am sorry it took so long to update. This chapter got out of hand, it wasn't meant to be this long haha, hope you don't get a headache. Please do review. Hope you aren't off this story. Sorry if there are nay mistakes, I am out of city so I am a little distracted. xx_**


	19. Chapter 19

Ulcer. He had an ulcer. It was funny how the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. Maybe because he was adamant in thinking that it was nothing but a strained muscle or indigestion but it was clearly an ulcer. Mrs. Hughes's recommended doctor; Doctor Burke was a specialist in Gastroenterology. The man was in his mid sixties, had travelled all around the world so thankfully he spoke fluent English. (Robert had taken a few basic German classes, before his posting . He didn't spend too much time on it as the people whom he was direct in contact with within the business knew English as well. He just learned the basic to pass the citizenship test). He had told him outright that he had an ulcer but it wasn't a humongous ulcer. He recommended a few ghastly procedures but Robert had insisted on some method which wouldn't require him to stay in bed much longer. He really needed to focus on the business, it was flourishing, thanks to his wonderful team but he was the leader and the leader must always be present on the scene and also, the business was new and he wasn't going to take any risks. After his father's death, he had to manage it all alone and he did it, he was good at his work, it was hard work but he was good and he wanted that to continue for as long as he was able to. So the doctor finally narrowed it down to regular checkups, change of diet, less drinking and a handful of medicines. It was all very tedious, after a long hard day, comfort food and a drink was usually his cure but apparently that had to change so he promised to obey, paid a heavy bill and went back to his house. Mrs. Hughes had asked him about his visit to the doctor soon after and after hearing and some acquiescing; she nodded and told him that the yummy goodies that he was given occasionally by Mrs. Hughes were to be slowed down. That made him sad, he enjoyed the many biscuits and cakes and cheesy, fatty stuff that was waiting on his dining table from time to time. But ah, well so be it.

Mrs. Hughes was a very interesting woman, she was strong and kind. She wasn't old enough to be his mother but Robert viewed her like his elder sister and she treated him like a son/younger brother who worked too much. They had some unwritten rules when it came to a few things, like the usual food waiting for him and him looking after Mrs. Hughes's dog, Fudge every two weeks when Mrs. Hughes spent a weekend with a widowed friend of hers, Beryl Patmore. She ran her own Bed and Breakfast and Mrs. Hughes visited her every two weeks for a weekend so that she wouldn't be too lonely. Such things made Robert smile, he would expect the same thing if it had been Cora or Sybil. There were very few women in his life who were selflessly generous and he was glad to have an addition. He ought to invite Mrs. Hughes to a proper dinner sometime, maybe he could even invite Charles Carson, those two hit it off at the first meeting and Robert couldn't help but wonder if things would actually progressed with these two.

Robert sighed laying back on his couch with a boring salad in his hands and the lightest beer he could find. This was going to be harder than he thought.

* * *

 _2 weeks later_

Cora had had a pretty good day. The work in her new gallery was almost finished; just a few last minute things that needed attention were left. She had been busy with her work for months. Simon was a big help though and she was grateful for it. He had a great knowledge about several paintings and the history of them and Cora was able to study them in depth as well as, as a team they both worked pretty well. Cora loved art, she knew a great deal about where the gems were placed and was always travelling here and there to study them, she would find them and Simon always knew a thing or two about them and he would brief her, give her some pointers and while she was away, he knew very well how to handle the gallery in her absence. He helped Cora but he also had another job, he worked as an art history professor in a university and studied paintings for his work which also helped Cora with her work. It all worked smoothly, she had a friend she could talk to, and he understood her love for art and encouraged her. In truth he was nice to her even helpful but for the longest time she felt as if some sort of a time bomb was ticking and would explode in her face any moment. But today she was happy, she was relieved and proud of her work, she did all the work herself, only sometime needing a little push from Simon. So she shut away the negative thoughts at the back of her head and carried on with her day.

It was late when she got home, almost dinner time, she opened the door and saw Simon sitting on the couch tapping away on his iPhone. Noticing her presence, he stood up immediately.

"Babe, you're back" he said grinning.

Cora smiled back and put her car keys on the console. She was about to remove her shoes when Simon spoke again.

"Wait, wait, what are you doing?"

Cora raised her eyebrows and chuckled softly "I'm just removing my shoes"

"No, don't because we're going out" he said grinning as he passed the hall to grab his jacket.

"But, why and where?"

"For dinner" he replied as tied his shoe laces.

"Oh, but I am a little tired" in truth she wasn't but she was very much looking forward to a quiet night with her book.

"Oh, you can sleep as soon as we come back, but now let's go, please" he said taking her hand.

Cora knew he had something planned, she could see the glint in his eyes but she was happy today, she wasn't in a mood to argue so she nodded and followed him outside.

He took her to a big fancy restaurant; it was almost the weekend so it was crowded. She was glad to find out that Simon had made a reservation. The waiter directed them to their seats and Cora sat down with a sigh.

"Good day?" he asked, tapping his fingers on the table.

"Oh, yes" she replied taking a sip of water "it's almost done and I'm glad. I'm thinking of throwing that opening party a little later" she chewed her bottom lip as she thought through the schedule "How about Tuesday? The next one, I mean"

Simon scratched his cheek as the dates went around his head "Yeah, it's possible. But why two?"

Cora adjusted her napkin "Well, I wanted to invite friends and family to that and I want them to be comfortable, you know, just the family, no photographers, a relaxed kind of a gathering. The one on Sunday is just the official opening, you know we'd have the staff and we would be able to concentrate on just business and clients, did I tell you Mr. Eddard is coming?"

"From that publishing company?" he asked impressed.

"Oh, yes" Cora smirked "So I'd be able concentrate more on the clients and if family and friends were there, I don't want them to feel neglected and we have to put up pictures on the website as well so you know how it goes" she shrugged.

Frankly, Simon always liked the publicity, the stardom, Cora wasn't a fan of it nor was her _other_ family. Robert was a big name in the business industry. His father was a legend and so was he, as much as it made Simon wanting to roll his eyes and also, he was a _Lord._ Not that it mattered much nowadays, he wasn't the Duke of Cambridge or anything but he was somewhat important but to Simon, it seemed that they never bothered much with the press and all the exposure. Nor did Cora, the fact that Simon thought was a bit dull. What was better than making others think their lives were more interesting than them? He remembered clearly how much he was talked about when the word got out about Cora's separation. He was _the famous historian_ who had swooned the wife of one of the most known man in business. He loved all the attention he got, his feelings for Cora were true of course but he didn't mind a bit of extra attention. But he didn't intend to stay the live in boyfriend for long, he had big plans for his future and the future consisted Cora. _His_ Cora. Today he will do it. He will ask the big question.

The dinner passed by with casual chitchat, Cora was talking business nonstop but he didn't mind, he wasn't nervous or anything but honestly he could never work out her reaction. He loved her, she loved him too _of course_ and they were so good together but the thought of being embarrassed in public unsettled his stomach. By the time for dessert, he knew it was the moment.

Cora was busy devouring her strawberry cheesecake, while his trifle sat untouched. He coughed which caused Cora to bring her attention to him.

Simon puffed out a breath and laid his hands flat on the table. He tapped his fingers, once, twice and then spoke.

"I've been wanting to ask you something" he said.

"If you want a bite of my cheesecake, just say it. Just don't take too much of the sauce" Cora chuckled.

Simon chuckled back "It's not that"

"Oh" she said putting her spoon back on the plate.

"I want to marry you"

Cora froze. The mouthful of her cake in her mouth sat on her tongue untouched. Suddenly she felt out of breath.

"I know you aren't _fully_ divorce, the procedure is so tedious but I just couldn't wait. Not anymore."

Cora swallowed and replied "Simon, I-"

"Need time?" Cora's eyes shot up at his "You need time and the whole thing is a mess for you, I know all that.."

He could use better words though, Cora thought, really he was being insensitive.

"I am not asking you to marry me tomorrow, take your time but I want to move forward, I want you in my life full time. Take your time, I don't mind, as long as I know you'll be mine at the end"

Cora's palms became sweaty, so the time bomb finally exploded. She should have known, oh God she wasn't ready. She wasn't sure if she'll ever be ready. And so she said so "Simon" she looked at him straight in the eye, kindly not harshly "I am not ready, I don't think I will be for a very very long time"

Simon took her hand "I know that and as I said, take your time. I am just tired of just being the _boyfriend_. We are so much more than that"

 _HE_ was tired? She was about to say that if he is _so tired_ , he could find someone else but Simon spoke before her.

"I love you" he looked at her and Cora wanted to scream. "I love you, don't say no, and don't say yes. I just want you to know that I want you to be mine. That I am serious and that I would like to be your husband. Think about it; think about how great we are together"

They worked well together, that much was true if the emotional side wasn't weighed much in the argument. She liked him, she clearly didn't love him. As a mutually beneficial sort of an arrangement, it worked pretty well. If it was just the head, she might have agreed but the heart? It said no. Because she _didn't_ love him. She had loved once, maybe she will love again the same way, but not today, that day was not today. So head or the heart?

She waited and she saw from the corner of her eye that Simon would faint if she stayed silent for another moment.

"I am not even divorced" she instantly regretted her answer, it was so stupid.

"I said we'll wait"

"I just-" she said chewing her lip.

"Here" he took out a box and she obviously knew what was hidden in it. Soon, a diamond ring was revealed.

"Wear this"

"I can't accept this" Cora shook her head "How can I even be engaged to you, I am married!" she gritted her teeth.

"Only for a few more weeks, Cora!" he rolled his eyes and Cora resisted the urge to slam the table.

She looked down, closing her eyes as hard as she could. This was giving her a headache.

"Look" he certainly wasn't giving up easily "Don't take this as an engagement ring, take it as a promise ring"

"This is very clearly an engagement ring" she huffed.

"Where's that written? It is a promise ring, my promise to be yours forever. You don't have to reply anything now"

"I can't.."

"Shush" he took her hand and placed the ring on the right finger. "I love you"

* * *

Bates was on his way to fetch a chocolate cake for his heavily pregnant wife. As nearer as the time for the delivery came, Anna's craving got out of hands more and more. He didn't mind though, he loved his wife and his unborn child. Nowadays Anna was very specific about her food and in the middle of nowhere she had the urge to eat a chocolate cake. Not just any cake, a cake from _Brown's,_ a famous restaurant cum bakery whose cakes were the best thing in the world. Reaching his destination, he entered in the crowded restaurant and headed towards the counter, after placing his order and being instructed to wait a few minutes; he stood there skimming through the menus and the crowd when his eyes fell upon a very familiar face. Cora and Simon were seated at the very end of the hall and it seemed like they were in the middle of a very intense conversation. Simon had Cora's hand in his when the waiter interrupted him for his credit card, he gave it to him and signed the receipt as his cake was being packed and the next time he looked towards the table, he couldn't blink. Simon placed a ring, a very shiny ring on Cora's left hand and smiled. The next thing he did was to grin and instructed the waiter to bring champagne. Bates was shocked because he didn't know anything about this. Robert discussed everything with him but never mentioned this. They skyped two days ago and he didn't give him any hint. Maybe he didn't want to talk about it? Maybe he wanted a different topic to comment on. Could be anything, he could be curious when he wanted to be. But he knew right? Well, of course he did. Bates only shook his head at the massive turns this story was taking and took his packet and left the restaurant.

* * *

 _Sunday_

She was late. She was so late, she had slept through and now she had little less than twenty minutes to get dressed and reach her gallery.

She hurried through the shower and put on her clothes. Simon was out for a lecture at the university and had told her that he would pick her after the class and they could go together. Well Simon was due home any minute and she wasn't even half as much ready. She really needed to look neat and presentable, there were important people coming and there would be photographers. She wanted to hit something, she had been working tirelessly for this, and she won't let a stupid, stubborn, alarm clock ruin her big day. Why the hell did it never rang?!

Cora took a deep breath and put on her foundation. Thankfully her hair was being cooperative today, which was of rare occurrence because she always had to fix it with a straighter but today it looked just fine. A light shade of eye shadow came next, the mascara and the eyeliner. By the time she got to the blush, Simon honked the car and the panic rushed in again, ah she was so late! Where were her shoes? She got up and realised she didn't apply the lipstick so she hurriedly did so and rushed to grab her shoes. Another honk and she started cursing "Damn it" she looked at the clock. "Oh, shit! Oh, come on" she just couldn't buckle up the damn shoe. When she did so, her phone rang; she hurriedly answered it as she went back to the dressing table to put on some jewellery.

"Cora, where are you?" Simon spoke, irritated.

"I am coming, just wait"

"We're late babe"

"I know.." she muddled through her jewellery box and struggled to find anything appropriate. Since when did she own such large earrings anyway? "Just reverse the car, I'm coming"

She put on a pair of tiny earrings, she didn't look the part, and something was missing. Another honk and she hurriedly put on that stunning ring Simon gave him and ran out the door.

* * *

It had been over a month; Robert had been well with his diet. He was bored to sobs but he just had to be careful. Eating sad, sad food and no drinking made him more tired but if that was the case them so be it. He did drink but not heavy stuff and Mrs. Hughes baked him healthy items occasionally, all greens and he wanted to cry but she was nice, she was being so nice. He decided he would most definitely invite her and Mr. Carson to dinner sometime. Carson somehow found out about his ulcer and was adamant not to overload him with work. Really they could be his parents in another universe! He did feel slightly better. He decided not to tell anyone in his family about his ulcer, it really was not a big deal and he was well looked after and they would worry and Robert didn't want that. The work was good, life was smooth and the big change in his lifestyle made things better health wise. He hummed _I Can't Help Falling In Love With You_ in his house as he tidied the living room when his laptop buzzed. He grinned walking towards it as he already knew it was either Ros or Bates, another fake set of parents he had.

He smiled as he pressed the video call as Bates' face appeared on the screen.

"Bates, how are you?!" he asked, all excited for some unknown reason.

"Shushhh!" Bates replied as he looked to his left for something. Well, that wasn't the reply Robert had expected.

"What?" Robert asked, in a low voice.

"Anna's sleeping and if something wakes her up, she's grumpy all day" Bates whispered back.

Robert chuckled, fully understanding the pregnancy hormones, boy they were crazy. He remembered Cora in her last pregnancy months; Robert wanted to wear a helmet round the clock!

"How are you?" Robert asked in a low voice.

"I am good, how are _you?"_

His emphasis on 'you' surprised him but he ignored and replied "I am good, yeah, the work's good too"

Bates looked at him curiously for a moment and before Robert could question why, Bates' phone rang,

"Crap!" he hurried away from the screen to get his mobile and Robert chuckled at his friend as he took a sip of water.

"What is it, Brandon?" Bates asked as he took his seat in front of the screen again "No..no, it wasn't on the 19th! No, then reschedule, we have a meeting with VISTA's head office. Yeah…yeah, I'll check. Okay, Brandon….Yes, Bye"

"God, this place is a mess without you Crawley" Bates replied as he switched his phone to silent mode.

Robert smiled at his friend; it was his way of saying that he missed him.

"I am sure you have everything in control" he replied.

"Yes well, you command, I obey, milord" Bates teased him and Robert rolled his eyes.

They spent a good half hour discussing anything and everything.

"So, what else is new?" Robert asked.

"Oh, nothing much besides what I have said, it's just that I am scared about becoming a father"

Robert chuckled "It's only natural. How's Anna handling it?"

"Better than me" Bates replied raising his eyebrows in wonder.

"Cora handled better than me as well, I remember.." Robert almost started the story when that strange look on Bates' reappeared.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Robert questioned, worried.

"It's nothing really.." Bates shrugged.

"Bates"

"Well you probably know all the details but I just felt really weird because it came out of nowhere"

Robert furrowed his brow "What was?"

"I was there when he proposed; I was picking up a cake and saw them from afar"

Robert gulped, his blood going cold very slowly.

Bates continued "Really, it was all sudden from me and dude, you should have looked at the shine of that ring, I wonder where did he get the money to buy it and I -"

Robert heart hammered against his chest. He couldn't possibly mean..

"Bates" he said softly but clearly "What are you talking about?"

And then it suddenly hit Bates, he was never the one to play a good poker face. He put his hands on his face and rubbed it "Shit..I thought..i thought, you would know"

"Know what?!" Robert shouted this time and Bates didn't stop him.

"They got engaged, on Friday. I saw him putting a ring on her finger"

Robert breathed and looked at the keys on the keyboard. No it can't be it. Cora told him that she would inform him before making any decision like that and it was absurd, I mean they weren't even fully divorced and..and to find out from a third person. No, no it was clearly all a misunderstanding.

"Must have been the wrong finger" Robert replied fixing his eyes on Bates.

Bates sighed softly. Robert could see pity in his friend's eyes very clearly.

"It was the right finger" he whispered and Robert shut his eyes. Bates would never lie to him. But it was all absurd, I mean of course, yes she had every right to marry him if she wanted but it just didn't sound like Cora. She told him she would tell him and what was the urgency, what about _the "I am not sure if I'll even marry him"_ and _"It's not easy for me either"._ Yes, of course he knew one day…someday it might happen but he didn't expect it to slap him right in the face. Robert's heart was ready to crumble all over again and but he held the pieces together, for the time being, routing for tiniest hope that it was all a big misunderstanding.

"Don't tell anyone I know, okay?" Robert said and after a few moments Bates nodded and Robert canceled the call.

Robert paced around the hall. It just didn't feel right…apart from obvious reasons of course but it just didn't feel understandable. Did they really get engaged? Will she marry him? Of course she will if she's engaged!

Robert ran a hand through his hair and sat in front of his laptop, saying a prayer he opened her Facebook. No new pictures or statuses or any other wall post of congratulations. Well, this was a good start. He breathed evenly and set about stalking other sites. He searched Google and found nothing as well. Could he dare to hope? He was about to shut his laptop when he realised that Cora's new gallery might be opened by now; he searched the site and opened up to see the articles. He skimmed through the lines where it said how marvellous it had been and how organised everything was. Of course, he already knew it was going to be perfect; it was Cora's work after all.

He clicked images and found a couple of photos of Cora conversing with a few people and some of the staff and the paintings. He saw a solo profile of Simon and hurriedly clicked next and then..then he saw. A picture of Cora cutting the ribbon, surrounded by several people. She held the scissors in her hand and was about to cut the ribbon. He could see her stunning, proud smile, a strand of hair kissed her cheek, and she stood elegantly and looked nothing less than a goddess that she really was but Robert's eyes were fixated on the ring he could clearly see on her left hand on the _right_ finger. The longer he stared, the harder his heart broke. So all his hopes sunk down the drain and the bits of his heart which were held together very dangerously fell down and shattered into infinite pieces.

She was really engaged. And was he strong enough to ask her why she didn't tell him? No, no he wasn't and logically he didn't think she really needed his permission. Different lives now, different routes, they signed the papers knowing they might never collide and so it was. So it obviously was.

He closed his eyes and sighed. He wished he could _un-love_ her. Was that possible? She would be wife of someone else, his stomach started doing flips and he shook his head. He really didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to forget and he knew just the way to do that. He stood up and headed for the cabinet that he hadn't open in a month.

* * *

 _ **Look, I promise I hate him too, please don't throw things at me. *hides for cover***_

 _ **This story had to take a turn and here it is. I know you'll all be like 'MAKE HIM ASK CORA' but if you decide to stick with this story, I'll try my best to make it up to you..in future. Not telling when that is ;)**_

 _ **Couple of things, I didn't want to go so much into the medical detail that's why the part of the doctor is really brief, I know there are so many procedures now but hey, it's Robert and he hates that and with his busy schedule and no one to keep him on the right track, he's bound to avoid it so for your easy understanding, I chose to add what they actually did on the show.**_

 _ **Please, don't hate me and it would be so nice of you to leave a review. The next chapter is the beginning of what I have been dying (read: super nervous) to write. I hope you guys enjoy it. I hope you're all having a fab summer. Hugs xxxx**_


	20. Chapter 20

She tapped her fingers on the desk as she skimmed through the paperwork; the boring part of her job. But she didn't mind, in fact she wanted to be fully involved in everything. She read several tedious lines until she heard a knock on her door. She had created a separate little cabin in her gallery for her use, where she could sit and work.

She looked up and saw Harry, one of her workers standing by the door. She smiled politely "What is it, Harry?"

"Ma'am, a man named Charles Blake is here to see you"

Cora smiled. Charles was several years younger than her, she came to know him in one of the seminars she had attended a couple of years ago. He was a junior professor and had been a student of one of the art historian Cora had really admired. Charles was a friendly person and even gave Cora a few books, his own professor had told him about, seeing Cora's enthusiasm and interest, and he got on very well with her. Cora had introduced him to her daughters and had hoped years earlier, that one of them might take a liking to him, when they were all single. But as always, Charles took interest in Mary and Mary didn't approve much of him, saying that he thought too much of himself. Cora just gave up, seeing that they only bickered when they were together. But Charles had still sent Cora emails and notes that he thought she would find interesting, which she did, very much so.

The familiar face popped in through the door with a smile and Cora stood up.

"Charles, how lovely to see you" she smiled as he placed a quick peck on her cheek.

"I am good, how are you? Busy, I heard" Charles said looking around her new office. "And, much congratulations"

"Thank you. Yes, I have been busy but this is it. What do you think?"

"It's spectacular. You must give me a tour"

"Oh, definitely. What brings you here?"

"Oh" Charles said as he took a seat "I got an email a couple of days ago and it immediately made me think of you"

"Oh, I am all ears" Cora smiled, now curious.

"Now that you're free, I know of this wonderful exhibition you should attend. I attended it a couple of years ago and I have been meaning to go again but unfortunately the only I was able to find place in is in two weeks and I am unavailable"

"Oh"

"Yes, I am off to Poland for a business trip"

"How interesting. How long will you be gone?" she asked waving at Harry to bring them some tea.

Charles calculated in his mind "Ah..six months, a year, it all depends, you know how these things are"

Cora nodded.

"Well, anyways, I got a ticket and now I can't go but I thought you could use it"

"Me?" Cora asked surprised.

"Yes, you. I have been once and I would really like you to see it, knowing you, I know you'll enjoy it"

"Oh, when is it?" Cora asked grinning. It was rare to see Charles praise of something this much. She should definitely visit.

"Oh, 2 weeks. I'll send you the email"

"Alright, yay, I am excited" she said as she started pouring tea for Charles in a cup "Is it in London?"

"No, actually in Germany" Charles replied flipping through his phone looking for that email as Cora froze momentarily.

 _Germany.._

Of all the places..

Charles looked up as Cora recovered and passed him his teacup.

"Ah, yes, in Munich at the Museum Villa Stuck on the 28th of April, from 3 to 6" he looked at his phone again "…proceeded by a seminar in Berlin, well, that's not important but it's part of the trip so you could go"

Charles had defiantly forgotten all about Robert moving to Germany or maybe he didn't know much about it since Charles was always on some tour or a business trip. To be honest, she was grateful, she didn't want another awkward conversation about her disastrous married life, so she decided to act all normal.

"Oh, I'll think about it" Cora said smiling as she poured herself a cup.

Charles eyes shot up "Are you busy?"

"Um, no, but I'll check a few things first"

"Alright, but I really think you should, you'll thank me later" he grinned and she grinned back as they set about talking of other topics. Safe topics, thankfully.

* * *

Now Cora placed the kettle and thought back to Charles's offer. She looked up at the forwarded email again, it was not just an exhibition, it was a proper tour, besides just the historic home and studio rooms of Franz von Stuck with a collection of works by Franz von Stuck, it was complemented by objects from the area of applied art of the century, the museum also had special exhibitions on topics from the historical and artistic context of Franz von Stuck and from the field of fine and applied art of the 20th century*. How could she miss? But Germany.. _Robert._

Obviously, it wasn't like he would be waiting for her at the airport. He didn't need to know that she'd be there, really. She would go to Munich and Berlin and be back in a few days.

But it felt wrong in some way. If she was going, she could at least pay him a visit, maybe they could go on a lunch or something. That wouldn't be awkward. Before she could think further, the front door opened revealing a very exhausted Simon.

"Hey, babe" he said as he smiled to her. "Ah, can I have some tea, I'm done for"

"I've already put it on" she smiled, as she added some more water to the kettle. "What took you so long?" she asked from the kitchen as Simon sat down on the couch with a sigh.

"The students have their finals in a month so I was taking a few extra classes, I am afraid no rest for a month"

Cora chewed her lip as she walked out with two cups of tea and offered one to Simon. "Oh, well as long as they get good results" she smiled at him.

Simon literally gulped the steaming cup of tea. It made Cora cringe, how didn't his throat burn? She would wait a few minutes before drinking hers and that too in small sips.

"How was your day?" Simon asked casually as he turned on the TV and turned to sports channel.

"Oh, as it always is. But.." she took a breath "Charles Blake paid a visit"

"Charles Blake?" Simon asked, his eyes still fixated on the TV.

"You remember that guy I told you about, the one I met at that seminar in Birmingham"

"That professor?" he asked as he took the last few sips of his tea.

"Exactly"

"What did he want?" he asked as he flipped through the channels to look for cricket.

"Oh, nothing. He just payed a visit, saw the gallery and told me about an exhibition I should attend"

"Oh, yeah"

Well, he was distracted so she tried again.

"Yeah, he can't go and didn't want to waste the ticket so he gave me. I think I should go"

"Hmm"

Cora sighed "It's in Germany"

That did the trick. Simon's head shot right in her direction and he raised his eyebrows.

"Germany?"

"Yeah" she said looking into her cup and taking another sip, as she gulped down she replied "In Munich, he said it's very good, it's in Museum Villa Stuck, that one.."

"Designed by Franz von Stuck" Simon completed her sentence for her.

"Have you been there?" she asked attempting to lighten the conversation.

"No..no, I haven't" he was still digesting the fact that it's in Germany.

"Oh, he said it's very good and I have been working hard for a long time, a change of surroundings might do me good" she smiled. She really didn't have to give him explanations, but always the one to please everyone, she couldn't help it.

"Right..will you.." he coughed "Will you meet Robert"

"He's in Berlin" she said. She would also be visiting Berlin, what kind of an answer was that, so she added "But I might, there is a seminar in Berlin too, it's in the package, lots of historians will be there"

Simon nodded.

"Well then, I'll leave in two weeks" she stood up taking their cups and heading to the kitchen.

"Do you really have to?" she heard him.

"What?" she turned

"I mean, do you really have to meet him?" he shrugged his shoulders and Cora raised her eyebrow, giving the look, Simon oh so, feared. "I mean wouldn't it be awkward?" he said attempting to put up a better argument.

"I don't think so; it would be more awkward if I don't meet him"

"Oh"

"Why, is there a problem?" she gave him the same look again and he gulped.

"No, not a problem" Cora nodded and went back to the kitchen.

Simon wasn't usually the type to be defeated in an argument and almost always he had things his way but Cora made it well known that she wasn't less fiery when it came to her personal _personal_ life. Well of course, Simon doesn't like it, I mean who would but still she might visit him. She wasn't sure, really. But she would definitely go. No need to miss such a chance for stupid reasons. And they'd be in a foreign place and it had been so long since she last saw him, she was also always curious about how his new life was. From what she heard from Ros and the girls, he settled in quite nicely, even made a few friends. But she didn't want it to be awkward. Their last meeting replayed in her mind a billion times, always making her extremely sad and emotional. She didn't want that. She'll see. At least Simon was handled.

* * *

Robert Crawley was back to being the workaholic that he was. He worked and worked and worked until he was exhausted. If he was honest, life was getting a bit into the same boring routine and as much as he hated changes, he really needed _some_ change. When he came to Germany months back, he visited almost every place in Berlin and he didn't have any company at home so all that was left was work and so he did. And no, he wasn't crying on the engagement thing anymore, he tried not to think about it and when he did, usually when he was alone at night, he knew a way or two to avoid it. He'll be honest, it did hurt his heart, very much so, he didn't expect this. So he just worked, he didn't have time to nurse his broken heart. God knows, in a few weeks' times it'll get broken again. Sometimes he imagined signing that last set of papers and it always felt so foreign, even when he had signed before. He was adamant in thinking it 'foreign' until the time came, which was near. The days went by quickly making him agitated.

He tried avoiding drinking but in this hectic routine, a cold beer or champagne did the trick or when he really needed it because his head would hurt…or heart. He didn't turn to the stronger items _much_ , he tried his best to avoid it, because his doctor's face would appear in his mind saying the word 'ulcer' over and over again, so he controlled himself. He tried anyway. He did take whiskey a couple of times, especially when he dined out, his meal somehow felt incomplete and a couple of times when he was alone thinking of what a mess his life was (seriously contemplating life should be banned after midnight) But that was only a few times, he wasn't drinking as he used to. Also, he had somehow persuaded Mrs. Hughes not to make him food on daily basis, he felt bad, and she did too much for him. So she did stop, well not stop but her visits did become infrequent. Which many time led to home deliveries because he was always too tired to cook and after a long hard day, a hearty sandwich looked far more appealing than a bland salad. But he was careful though, he tried his best to stick to a somehow healthy routine. He worried too much at the start and so did everyone else around him and frankly it was for no reason. He was fine and Carson and Mrs. Hughes also agreed with him. He looked fine. The sharp pains had dulled and he was keeping fit but he felt weak and useless. Work was his only escape and well food…he liked food, good food and good drinks. So he made a little schedule where he wouldn't drink beyond a limit and he stick to that and he was happy with it.

It had been almost a month since he was back to being the Robert he liked and he was fine, he was really fine. He enjoyed life far better if he at least had something decent to eat and he liked the work and he was becoming a little homesick and going back to an absolutely empty house didn't help. Maybe he ought to get a pet but he quickly dismissed the idea, who would take care of it? He was hardly home. The doctor clearly exaggerated. Well, that was what he thought so. A few days earlier as he jogged on a morning he felt that stabbing pain again, it was sharp but it quickly ended. He was taking his meds regularly, he did miss out on the last few appointments because he had meetings scheduled, he had completely forgotten about them. Before he could think further, his phone buzzed as he looked up at the reminder flashing that he had various tasks at the office the next whole week. He mentally noted that he should probably visit his doctor again.

* * *

Tom was away to Ireland for a few things that needed attention in his hometown so Sybil jumped at the chance and decided to stay a night or two with her Mama. Cora was beyond thrilled; it had been so long since she really sat with any of her daughters and talked in depth about anything and everything. Simon was usually late and when he came back he was always exhausted and Cora didn't have much on her hands. Everything at the gallery was working smoothly and besides that trip to Germany she was almost free all the time. Cora had this rule, a silly rule but she just felt so awkward having Simon sleeping in her bed when any of the girls were there so as per rule, as soon as Sybil came, Simon shifted to the guestroom. He didn't really mind, he was always so tired nowadays, he didn't mind where he slept as long as he did.

Sybil decided to sleep with Cora, she always had. Even as a baby, she always cuddled close to Cora or Robert in the bed. They had a hard time moving her to the nursery. And unlike many teens, she did prefer to sleep sometimes with Cora in those days too, a fact that Cora loved. Neither Mary nor Edith acted so _..attached_ so she made the most out of Sybil.

When Sybil arrived they immediately went out for lunch, then a movie and then for shopping. The day passed by in laughs and giggles as they later lay in bed exhausted from all the running around. The house was quiet, Simon slept soundly in the guestroom and Sybil and Cora rested on a bed.

"Why did Tom go to Ireland now? " Cora asked as she ran her hands through Sybil's hair. Sybil had her head on the pillow and Cora took the opportunity to run her fingers through her soft black hair.

"For those houses, Mama, he had to meet the tenants.."

"No, no, I know that, I mean, why now? Isn't this the busiest time at work for him"

"It is but he had asked for a leave for some time now so I guess they allowed it"

"Is everything alright?" Cora asked further.

Sybil smiled as she cuddled close to Cora "Yes, fine. Just a few things on our mind that's all" she said wrapping her arms around her mother's waist as Cora kissed the top of her head. She didn't say anything; she knew Sybil would speak eventually. And so she did.

"We're…we're thinking of starting a family" Sybil whispered. Cora opened her mouth and nudged Sybil so she would look at her.

"Really?" Sybil nodded and smiled.

"Oh, my baby!" she exclaimed "Are you.."

"No" Sybil chuckled "No, Mum nothing's happened yet and you mustn't tell anyone, we are just planning"

Cora forced herself to calm down. Her baby was having a baby, she could shout from the roof as far as she was concerned. But looking at Sybil's tensed expression, she spoke.

She lifted her chin from her finger "Then why so glum, darling? Are you scared?"

"It's just" Sybil took Cora's hand "I mean are we ready to have a baby, how will we manage it..and, and yes, I am a little scared. I mean it'll be so little and it'll depend on me and what if I can't manage it.." Sybil babbled on and Cora wanted to giggle because Sybil looked so adorable but she stopped herself because she had the exact same concerns and fears and her mother wasn't here to calm down her nerves, she would not let Sybil or any of her daughters feel the way she did.

"Oh, sweetie, you'll always think you're not ready. God knows I didn't think I was until I had Mary in my arms. It will all happen on its own. When you have a baby, all the fears wash away and you'll be able to manage, one always does, it happens naturally. You somehow get ready on your own and you somehow learn all the things quickly too, so don't worry about it"

Sybil nodded, still chewing her bottom lip, a nervous habit she caught off Cora.

"You're awful, you're making me a grandmother so soon" Cora tried to joke and it worked as Sybil came out of the mist and chuckled.

"The hottest grandmother ever" she said as she kissed Cora's cheek and headed to the dressing table. "I must take off these contact lens, they're itching so badly"

Sybil set about taking off the lens and randomly looking through Cora's items on the table as she spoke again.

"Hey, Mum, a friend of mine wants to visit your gallery but she's asking about what time there's less rush so can enjoy and her mum is also –Wow!"

Cora turned her head towards the table as she saw Sybil gasp at something in her hand.

"Mum, this ring is stunning. When did you buy it?"

Cora sat up straighter and looked at the ring; of course it turned out to be _that_ ring.

Sybil was still looking at the ring in detail so she missed out the guilty expression Cora had on her face. Sybil tried the ring on and came and took her place back on the bed against Cora. Cora wrapped her arm around Sybil. This was going to be a long conversation.

"Well, Simon gave it to me a couple of weeks ago"

Sybil who was still busy in admiring the ring took a few seconds before it hit her. She looked up at Cora, her face suggested confusion, shock, sadness.

"Mum, are you saying..you're.."

"No, no" she touched Sybil's face and put a strand of hair behind her ear "I am not engaged. It's just a..ring" she really didn't know how to explain it because it wasn't very clear to her either.

"For _just a ring_ , it's a very expensive ring" Sybil put the ring on the bed, suddenly a lot less interested in its shine.

"Sybil, it's just as he put in 'a promise ring'" Sybil looked up at her "I have made it very clear that I am not ready at all and I am not making any decisions and marriage is the last thing on my mind right now"

"Then, why did he..I mean look at this. It doesn't look like an ordinary ring"

"I know, I think he came with the intention but I dismissed it but he forced me to take it so I did"

Sybil nodded and looked down. Cora sighed "I won't rush into anything, I promise you that" Sybil looked up at her mother's reassuring eyes and smiled, finally extracting the burden on Cora's heart.

"I know" Sybil said. "But I think you should tell Papa"

Cora nodded, he should know of Simon's intentions "That's where I need your advice"

Sybil looked at her and raised her eyebrows.

"I am going to an exhibition in Germany next week, should I meet your father and tell him?"

Sybil thought for a few moments before replying "Yeah, yeah I think you should. The lesser the confusions the better. I mean Mama, I have seen you and Papa struggle these past few years, I know how much it hurt both of you and I think it's a very brave decision you both are taking" Sybil took Cora's hands in hers "And know that whatever happens now, we will all support you. Both of you. We love you both and we don't want you to suffer. I can see the tension in your eyes, the anxiety of it all and I see it in Papa's face when I skype him or hear it in his voice when I talk to him and I hate that. I want you both to be happy, no matter what"

Cora's eyes started to well up as Sybil continued "So, now I think you should see him. It might help you both relieve some anxiety and I think it's always better to know something that might hurt beforehand so you should talk to him, see what he says, how he feels because no matter how much you both pretend, I know you care, I know you worry of one another. So, yes, go for it" Sybil smiled as Cora's emotions rode a roller coaster.

Every single word that Sybil said was true, it was useless to pretend, they both cared and they will always do and look at Sybil, her little baby, she can still remember the smell of her baby as she held her for the first time and now she is here giving her lectures on how to handle life.

Cora brushed away her tears and chuckled "When did you get to be so smart?"

"Learned from the best" she giggled and hugged Cora tightly and Cora returned the hug and shut her eyes to hide her tears. Tears of pain and joy. The confusion was over, the decision was made. She will meet Robert.

A week later Cora arrived in Munich, the date was the same so she rushed to her hotel to get some rest and change so that she could arrive at the exhibition on time. Just as Charles said it was absolutely spectacular, the tour was amazing and in depth, she made quick notes and sneaked a few pictures. The time passed by in no time and by the end of it, Cora wished she could visit again but she didn't have much choice. She was to go to Berlin tomorrow for the seminar and then she'd meet Robert. She hadn't talk to him; she didn't even tell him really, she just couldn't do it. She came without a return ticket so she just left it for the time, she would contact him after the seminar.

* * *

It had been over two weeks since Robert thought the need to visit a doctor. He had overbooked himself for work and now he was regretting it, he had been so busy that he didn't have any time to misbehave with drinks. He ate at the office, literally whatever he could get and slept as soon as he went back home. He was exhausted and so he missed out a couple of days to take his pills because he finished them and he didn't have time to buy new ones. He was literally that busy and he now regretted it. The pain didn't help. It wasn't as frequent but it was certainly sharp and so he finally promised himself to go to the doctor on Monday. Tomorrow was Sunday and a week earlier he had invited Mrs. Hughes and Carson to a much pending dinner at his house, as tired as he was, he couldn't very much cancel it. Not on the first dinner he had ever invited them to and even if they both hid it, he knew they were very excited to meet again; he couldn't very well pop the love bubble. The pain was bad, but not as bad as it had been, he was really just tired, he always felt tired, it was partly work but he had a vague feeling that it was also due to his ulcer, that awful ulcer. But he'd manage. He has to.

"Sir, may I come in?" Carson peeked in and Robert smiled.

"Yes, of course"

"Sir here is the file you asked for"

Robert put on his reading glasses and skimmed through the first page "Oh, yes, thank you Carson, that'll be all"

Carson coughed as Robert looked up at him "I just wanted to confirm if we're still on for tomorrow's dinner"

"Yes, of course, I am looking forward to it. I am sure Mrs. Hughes is too" Robert smirked as Carson's ears turned red. These two were adorable!

"Are you sure, Sir? We wouldn't be an imposition, I mean you have been working too much against your doctor's orders and with your condition.."

"Nonsense, I am very sure. You two have been very helpful and I'd like to return my gratitude"

Carson smile and nodded "That's very kind of you, Sir. I'll see you tomorrow" he nodded and went out the door.

Robert too decided, it was time to go. He should get his groceries before the stores close so that he wouldn't have to fuss tomorrow. He stood up and immediately winced. Putting a firm hand on the side of his belly, it took him a few seconds before he started breathing again. This one was awful. He let out a breath and cautiously walked outside his room.

* * *

Cora attended the seminar and she just couldn't concentrate, knowing that she'd have to call Robert after it was making her stomach flip. She had never been this nervous; maybe it was because it had been so long since they last saw each other. She kept wondering what he would say. How will he react, will he want to meet her? All these questions made her so nervous. It was already 5pm and she still had an hour and a half here before she was free to go. So she just shook her head and tried to concentrate on what was happening around her.

* * *

Robert spent the whole day preparing food for his guests, in truth he was feeling quiet odd but he was determined not to but a dampner on the dinner. After spending the whole afternoon preparing, he changed and sat on the couch for the first time that day with a sigh. He closed his eyes for a few minutes until he realized that he had slept and woke up at the chime of the doorbell. He immediately stood up and went to receive his guests.

He opened the door to reveal both Carson and Mrs. Hughes dressed smartly outside his house. Robert resisted the urge to awe. They made an adorable couple and seeing them all blushing made him chuckle. He welcomed them in as they headed towards the dining room.

Looking at the items as Robert set about placing the dishes on the table, Mrs. Hughes spoke all impressed.

"My, my, did you cook this all yourself" she said taking a seat. Even Carson seemed impressed.

"By my fair hands, Mrs. Hughes"

"And here I thought, you couldn't put together a decent meal which had me cooking for you in pity all the time" she joked as Robert chuckled.

"My secret's out now" Robert winked at her and Mrs. Hughes grinned. "I'll be back in a second" Robert went back to the kitchen to fetch some napkins.

Carson spoke this time "I have heard all about your famous dishes, I must say I am very eager to see if they're as wonderful as Mister Crawley let on"

Mrs. Hughes smirked at him "Ah, first my garden now my cooking, you'll find Mr. Carson that almost everything I do is irresistible"

raised his eyebrows "I must say I haven't had a chance to see that lovely garden of yours"

"You should have asked"

"I think I will"

They both smirked; they could play this game for hours.

Robert returned with the napkins "Please" he said as he asked them to fill their plates.

* * *

It had taken more than just an hour and a half, after the seminar there were drinks and massive amount of people to socialize with and by the time she exited the building, it was already 8.30. Maybe it was too late to call Robert now, maybe not but she just didn't feel it was right at this moment. Or maybe she was just being stupid. What she did know for sure that she needed to eat something regardless so she waved at the taxi and asked for him to take her to some area with restaurants. A few minutes later she realized where she was.

"Is this the East of Berlin?" she asked as the driver nodded. She chewed her bottom lip. "Is there a housing scheme anywhere near here, it has a big theme park nearby and some jogging tracks"

The driver nodded again. Robert lived around here, she gulped, and it was only a few minutes away. Should she go, now? She wouldn't have the guts to come tomorrow that much was sure but she didn't call him, well if she was going there was no need to she'll see him in a few minutes anyway.

 _See Robert._

Oh, god the thought made her stomach do flips again. Was she ready? What will she say? More than saying anything she just…she just wanted to see him to be honest. She missed him, his face, if she could just see him now and then they can plan to talk tomorrow sometime. One step at a time. Was she ready? She thought back to what she said to Sybil a week back " _it just happens naturally"._

She closed her eyes and handed a piece of paper to the driver. "Can you take me to this address?"

* * *

The dinner was going in light chat, mainly between Carson and Mrs. Hughes. Robert was highly enjoying the flirty little chats but also, he talked less because that awful pain was back and not leaving this time. It kept poking and poking and Robert tried his best to make a straight face. Beads of sweat gathered around his hairline as he hid his groans in little sips of water.

"I honestly prefer here, I have been to so many places and this suit me best" Mrs. Hughes said to Mr. Carson.

"But don't you miss England? I enjoy here but there's no place like home" Mr. Carson said as he took a bite of his chicken.

Mrs. Hughes took a sip from her glass and replied "I have had many homes" she grinned and Mr. Carson huffed softly which made her chuckle.

"What about you, Robert? Where do you prefer?...Robert?"

They both looked at Robert with concern as his face went pale and he felt claustrophobic.

"Sir, are you alright?"

"Robert, is everything okay?"

"I.." Robert took a deep breath and stood up "Because, I…I am so sorry, I.."

* * *

Cora stood outside the house, having paid the taxi she stood all alone in a strange German street contemplating what she should do. She had little choice really, the taxi had left.

Dressed in a white cotton button up shirt and a pair of black jeans, with high black heels and a hint of red lipstick, she took a deep breath and headed for the door.

This was it. She was about to meet Robert. So many emotions passed through her and it made her shiver. When they last met they said goodbye and it was awful. The conversation haunted her, made her cry every time she thought of it. She had a feeling this would happen again but right now, all she really looked forward to was the look on his face when he would open the door. She was ready for all the heartache for just a look of him.

It had been almost 5 months and now she was 5 steps away. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. She knocked softly and the action caused the already opened door to ajar a bit. She cautiously held the cold handle and opened the door.

"Robert?" she peeked in.

She took only two steps in before her entire body froze, her breathing system stuck, her eyes went wide and her mouth opened on its own accord. What she saw next made her knees so weak that she fell down, her boney knees hitting the marble floor with a loud thud.

* * *

 ** _TAN TAN TANN! Cliffhangers, I know. Guys, to be honest, after the first few chapters I really thought of abandoning this story because it was such a mess (I apologize if some parts of this chap look all over place its 5 am here) but the only thing that made me want to continue was the chapter after this. I hope I won't keep you all waiting too long because I know cliffhangers are the worst._**

 ** _*I did a lot of research for the museums and the exhibitions and they are all genuine and there is some content from wiki._**

 ** _I chose Robert's exact line from the show at the red dinner just a moment before the blast because I thought it was perfect._**

 _ **Please, do review and let me know what you think. LOVE YOU ALL!**_


	21. Chapter 21

Blood.

The only thing her eyes could see was blood. _So_ much blood.

The thick, red liquid swam from the room at the very opposite of the front door to the front door and outside. She breathed heavier as her body became colder and colder. She looked at the insane amount of blood, spilling like a stream everywhere her eyes could follow.

A swish of cold, harsh air attacked her soft face and a shiver ran up her spine, which was not because of the wind. Suddenly she felt nauseous, her eyes trailed the floor around her and only then she saw that she didn't catch the blobs of blood, spluttered outside the front gate as well, trickling slowly down the street. A painful gasp left her mouth and she moved her shaky hands to put her hair behind her ears that had landed right on her eyes, maybe in some way trying to protect her from seeing the nightmare she was in.

She gasped again and again until she felt completely out of breath. She tried to take in the fresh air but her whole body jammed. She felt like a fish out of water, struggling to stay put.

Blood..Robert.

The thought made her want to throw up. No, no, it can't be.

"Robert" she screamed but the voice came out shakier and screechier than before. She put her palms straight on the part of the floor that wasn't covered in blood and put her weight on them to stand up. She felt dizzy when she did and immediately grabbed the curtains on the window next to her. Her knees were still weak but she couldn't think about that.

"Robert.." she cried out, panicking as she finally ran further into the living room with all the energy she could muster. Her eyes filled up and she took labored breaths. She wanted to scream but her body wouldn't allow it. What was happening, where was Robert?

"Robert!" she screamed again, as the crying turned to sobs and her whole form shock. Anger, pain, tension, all these feelings consumed her whole. She wanted to slap herself because her voice didn't come out loud enough. She stood in the middle of the room, swaying gently as she looked around, blinking back the tears that blurred her vision.

The smell of the blood reminded her of the time she delivered Sybil. She almost died then. The blood here was more and everywhere, it was thicker and so much darker. It was everywhere and the sight made her body shake violently.

"Rob.." a thought crossed her mind, what if, God she hoped so…what if she was in the wrong house, what if, it was all a big misunderst-

The thought that calmed her down for quarter of a second immediately died when she turned around to look at the table next to the sofa. A small table only set with a small bowl of potpourri and her. Her picture. Her picture from a few months ago. Her heart couldn't take it. The pain shot through so severely that she could feel the throbbing of her heart that beat most abnormally, both in panic and pain. Her picture was there. This was Robert's house, he kept her picture and now he's not here. But his blood is. So much blood. She started feeling dizzy again and she pulled her hair in tension and frustration, scratching her scalp harshly, so that the pain in her heart dulled somehow. A sob of anger and pain shot right out of her throat.

"Robert!" this time she screamed out loud. The tears fell shamelessly down her cheeks as her mouth became drier and head spun like a merry go round.

Was he dead? Did someone shoot him? No, no, oh God no. She shook her head wildly and covered her mouth with her hand and set about pacing the room to look around. Her wobbly legs slowed her pace, adrenaline making her heart run faster and body slower.

"Robert… hello? Oh, God, please…. Robert?!" she cried out again, almost giving up and wishing she was dead at the moment when she saw a shadow emerge from up the stairs. She waited as the figure appeared before her in full form. A middle aged woman; with chestnut hair who looked just as freaked out as she was. She carried a carry bag with her.

"Hello..I..I, I am looking for-" she tried to speak between her cries when the woman looked at her for half a second and stilled her steps. Cora moved forward but the woman ignored her and ran down to a bedroom.

Cora observed for a moment and ran after her. She saw her fiddling with something in a wardrobe.

"What is going on?" Cora shouted but her shaky, scared voice gave her away. "Please, Ma'am.." but the woman kept fiddling through the wardrobe. She looked just as terrified which didn't help Cora's nerves. She was starting to freak out more.

Maybe she didn't understand English. Her German was poor.

" _Ich suche..mann_.. " she tried but it came out all broken. "Oh, for God's sakes please help me!" she cried out in front of her when the woman gently grabbed both of Cora's shoulders and stilled her swaying body. Her hold was gentle and somewhat comforting.

"Cora, we have to go now" she almost whispered and looked in her eyes deeply.

Cora breathed in and out two heavy breaths. "Where..what's going on?" she replied, somehow a little more calmer than before and surprised that the woman knew who she was.

The woman sighed and Cora was sure she saw a look of extreme tension and panic on her face. Cora wanted to cry. Would someone tell her what the hell was going on?

The woman blinked back her eyes that turned glassy and sniffed, putting a few things in the bag. "It burst" she said.

What, Cora thought. "What, what do you mean..what burst?"

The older woman looked at Cora once again and a look of absolute pity passed by her features. She realized then, that Cora didn't know anything.

"Oh dear" the woman whispered sadly and Cora wanted to bang her head against something. All this didn't help her and she started shaking again.

"He had an ulcer, a big one and it burst. I told him to tell you but…he is in surgery now. We don't know what will happen" her voice was kind but Cora felt like she had been thrown out of a cannon.

Cora was frozen to her steps, her body and breath all coming to a screeching halt. Robert _had_ an ulcer?

Her mind went in thousand directions and she just wanted a moment to register all of it but that wasn't happening.

"Come on, we have to go now" the older woman took Cora's hand and dragged her out of the house. Cora abandoned her hand bag on a nearby sofa, the weight of it was draining her and she allowed that woman to drag her out. She didn't see where she took her, didn't see what was happening. She had her hand in the kind woman's hand and allowed her body to be dragged wherever she was taking it.

She couldn't say anything; all coherent thoughts escaped her mind. All she could see was that thick, dark blood each time she blinked her eyes. All she could think was that Robert had an ulcer. Robert had a dangerous enough ulcer that it burst. It burst when no one from his family was there for him. He was alone in a foreign land with foreign people when he spewed out ounces of blood, watching his life slipping out each time he coughed it out. He was ill, _terribly ill_ and now he might die.

Everyone forgot about him _. She_ forgot about him.

He went away and she forgot about him and now he's fighting for his life. A fight he might lose.

* * *

Cora walked in following the older woman, into a maze of hallways. She could faintly hear the announcements on speakers, calls for doctors. She passed by numerous men and women in white clothes, carrying charts and stethoscopes, all minding their own business. She walked and walked knowing that any moment she can be met with either of the two scenarios; he's alive and he'll be okay. He's dead and..and..

No. Even when she should be fully prepared, she couldn't bear the thought. Her hair was a mess, her face was pale, her body shook softly, her clothes were wrinkled, her lips desiccated, her eyes swollen, her white shirt caught a stain of red at the very edge, reminding her again and again of what a horrible sight she witnessed. With all this, she walked behind the short woman, bracing herself for what was to come.

"Mr. Carson" the lady said to a man who sat on a plastic chair outside a quiet operation theatre. Cora caught the red bulb shining brightly, an indication that the result was yet to come. She looked back at Mr. Carson, remembering faintly, Robert mentioning him in the email he sent her. The man was a bit chunky with strong features and broad shoulders. He sat fiddling with his hands when he heard the voice.

"Mrs. Hughes" he said, very relieved to see the woman, as he stood up. He carried the same haunted look on his face that both Cora and this, Mrs. Hughes had. Only then Cora saw Mr. Carson's hands. Faded red spots were all over it, front and back. Her eyes travelled to his light blue shirt that was soaked with water which was very obviously used to wash away the dark, big red patches of blood. Cora sighed shakily. Blood, again. Tears of guilt and pain threatened to fall down her eyes again and she wondered how she had the strength of stand.

"The doctors took him into surgery immediately, anything could happen, we shou-" Mr. Carson stopped talking when Mrs. Hughes candidly gestured with her eyes to look behind her. It was only when Carson saw a lady in white, who looked as if she had seen death, listening to his words cautiously.

"Mrs. Crawley" he said softly and nodded. Carson looked back at Mrs. Hughes again who shook her head in sadness to indicate that she didn't know and Cora spotted the same look of pity cross his features like she saw in Mrs. Hughes.

Carson took two cautious steps towards her, noticing her fragile, haunted state.

"We took him to the hospital immediately, Ma'am. We'll know more soon" he tried to give a faint smile and Cora could only nod. She chewed her bottom lip and looked down at the white floor, defeated. This was all so wrong, so, so wrong.

Carson took a seat at the far end of the line, leaving the woman to themselves. Mrs. Hughes must have felt that Cora was about to fall that she took her arm and helped her in a seat and sat next to her.

* * *

Minutes passed and Cora felt the lump in her throat grow as she stared at the red light, waiting for it to shut off.

She looked down at her shirt and took the edge in her fingers and examined it.

"Mrs. Hughes" she finally said "tell me"

Mrs. Hughes looked at her and sighed and then nodded. She told her how he first started having pains and how he kept delaying getting it checked and when he did, he requested treatments which were quicker and easier. She also told how he did well with his diet, although unhappily but still drank when he felt like it, that he was better at first and he also worked considerably less but that made him feel grumpy and useless. She told how they all overlooked because he hid it quiet amazingly and then it all just build up and he was careless with his medication which resulted in the ulcer bursting. Cora listened to her intently, silently unsurprised by his stubborn nature and how he always neglected his health. It all sounded like Robert. But what kept firing up the pain in her heart was the fact that she wasn't here to help him through, to meet him fifty fifty. If she had been here or any of the girls or Ros, even Bates, this wouldn't have happened. But it wasn't their fault, was it? Robert was her responsibility. He was her husband! He still is and she allowed this to happen. First she dragged him away and now she allowed him to play with his life.

Cora brushed away a few stray tears when Mrs. Hughes finished. She let out a shaky sigh and asked "Today" she looked at the red bulb "What happened today?"

Mrs. Hughes shut her eyes still horrified to think of it all as she narrated the incident.

 _"What about you, Robert? Where do you prefer?...Robert?"_

 _They both looked at Robert with concern as his face went pale and he felt claustrophobic._

 _"Sir, are you alright?"_

 _"Robert, is everything okay?"_

 _"I.." Robert took a deep breath and stood up "Because, I…I am so sorry, I.." he clutched the side of his tummy while the other two stared at him, awaiting what was about to happen next and soon, it did._

 _Robert felt something grow heavier in his tummy, like an ocean swaying inside his stomach. He tried to breathe in the sensation when the heaviness erupted, traveling to his throat, he felt something thick and metallic coming up his mouth, the taste all too awful. His legs became weak when he spewed out a thick, dark vomit of blood. His mouth burned as he kneeled forward towards the table, his hands clumsily grabbing the table cloth._

 _"Ahh" Mrs. Hughes screamed at the sight before her, before jumping out of her seat. Her hand covered her mouth. Mr. Carson equally shocked, frozen to his movements._

 _Robert felt unstable and felt another wave of nausea when once again, blood spewed out his mouth, this time a little lighter than before._

 _Carson stood up and Mrs. Hughes tried to walk properly but her legs gave her away. Robert lost his balance and landed right on the floor. Both Carson and Mrs. Hughes hurried towards him. Carson placed a napkin under his mouth as Mrs. Hughes tried to open his top buttons on his shirt. In less than a minute, Carson and Mrs. Hughes were both covered in blood._

 _"I'll call the ambulance" Carson said, running to get his phone._

 _"Robert, stay still, don't move. The ambulance will be here" Mrs. Hughes said, trying to keep her voice calm._

 _Robert mumbled some words but Mrs. Hughes couldn't understand them. The ambulance was taking ages so Carson and Mrs. Hughes decided to take him to the hospital themselves. The both held Robert up, a task in which they were failing. But they were scared half to death which made their movements clumsy. On the way to the door, Robert vomited more blood twice, the floor covered in blood that was more than willing to swim all over the living room. But that didn't matter, what mattered was Robert and they were afraid he was going to be unconscious. Both red faced Carson and Mrs. Hughes with red faced Robert for an entirely different reason, struggled towards the door when they heard the sirens of an ambulance. True enough, it was here two seconds later and the men from the hospital put him on a stretcher and in the ambulance, faintly saying that his ulcer had burst._

 _"You go" Mrs. Hughes told Carson. "I'll get some things for him and come at once"_

 _Carson nodded and jumped in the ambulance as Mrs. Hughes rushed to her house to change into something less fancy and unstained with blood. And five minutes later, she headed for Robert's house._

"So, this was it" she said looking at Cora "and then you came"

Cora put her face in her hands and rested her elbows on her thighs. She wished she was here earlier, she wished that he didn't got ill, she wished she never let him come to Germany, she wished that she never let him go. She was so stupid, so stupid and selfish. This was Robert. Her Robert, her husband, her best friend, her l _ove_.

An overwhelming feeling shot up her heart and she wanted to scream. He could die now. He would die knowing that his family didn't knew, that his family didn't care. That _she_ didn't care. And that was wrong, all so, so wrong. Because she did. She did, so much because she was his friend, his companion, the mother of his children, his wife of three decades. She cared because she was the love of his life and he..he was _hers._

Before she could think much on it the doors to the operation theatre opened revealing Doctor Burke. He took off his mask as Cora, Carson and Mrs. Hughes all stood up, ready to take in the news.

They waited as he took the mask off and Cora wanted to slap him, can't he see she's dying? She's desperate. She lost him once because she pushed him away to another country, no matter what Robert said, she felt and she knew it was her fault. And now she might lose him again and this time forever and then she will forever hate herself because she let it happen, she let him go through this. She should have known, Robert needed her, he always needed her, like she needed him but she was so blind. And now he will die not knowing how sorry she was, sorry for being so stupid and blind. How she ached for his forgiveness. He would die knowing Cora Crawley just wanted to be rid of him. If this happens, she won't be able to live with herself.

"He's stable now, he'll live"

The five words allowed the jammed circulatory system of her body to resume work. She sighed in reply and shut her eyes. He was going to be okay. Robert will be okay. Tears of joy escaped her eyes and she wanted to hug the Doctor. "It had gotten big and he had not been taking his medicines and missed on his appointments but you two.." he looked at Carson and Mrs. Hughes "you two brought him here on time"

Carson and Mrs. Hughes smiled and Mrs. Hughes said a prayer in thanks.

"Is he conscious?" Carson asked.

"Not yet, we'll stitch and clean him up and he'll be gone for a few hours. We'll shift him to a room soon and make a file, then you can meet him and even take him home tomorrow, but we will keep him overnight"

"Thank you" Cora spoke for the first time since the doctor came out, still grasping the fact that he was okay. That he will be okay. "Thank you, so much, doctor" The doctor smiled as he went back to the theatre.

Cora wiped away her tears and looked at Carson and Mrs. Hughes "And you two" she took Mrs. Hughes hand and looked at Carson with teary eyes and a genuine smile "Thank you, both of you, I cannot ever repay what you two have done for me and my family. I am so grateful to you. If you both hadn't been there, God knows.." she stopped, the words coming to a halt and being replaced by tears. She covered her mouth as she felt Mrs. Hughes squeeze her hand.

"He's very dear to us, Mrs. Crawley" Cora nodded with a smile as Mrs. Hughes smiled back reassuringly.

The tears made Cora's nose turn red, her eyes were constantly watery and cheeks damped with tears.

"I'll go get changed and inform the others" Carson said and took his leave.

"Others?" Cora asked Mrs. Hughes.

"Oh, yes a few people found out in the neighborhood so.."

Cora smiled "You all are fond of him here?"

Mrs. Hughes smiled "Yes, very. He's a great man" she said and instantly regretted to an extent because of the situation between him and Cora. Cora understanding the look squeezed her hand.

"Yes, he's very special" she said looking back at the operation room wondering when she'll get to meet him.

"Can I get you anything, Mrs. Crawley?"

"No" she smiled "thank you"

"Would you like to inform your family?"

Yes, she thought. They still didn't know. But they had every right to.

"Yeah, I'll do that.." but she realized she left her phone back at Robert's house. "Oh, I forgot my bag at the house, I'll go get it"

"I can get it for you" Mrs. Hughes said. The woman had already done too much for her.

"No, no, it's just 2 blocks away, I'll just go get it and hospital isn't a place to talk over such things on phone" she smiled softly and turned.

But turned back again, "Mrs. Hughes?" she asked "How did you know about me? Was it just the picture or.."

Mrs. Hughes smiled softly "He talks about you, a lot really. He told me many stories. He always said that you are one extraordinary woman and I can see that he was right"

Cora felt tears up in her eyes again "How so?" she asked.

"I saw the same thing in your eyes that I see in his. It's quite extraordinary" she said with a smile and Cora sighed softly, once again coming to terms with all the changes this past two hours have made.

* * *

She entered the house and turned on the light and her breath hitched once again as she came face to face with blood stained floor. She swallowed the nausea and headed towards the sofa where her bag was kept. She sat down staring at the floor, imagining how he would have felt spewing out blood, watching his life slip through his fingers. The smell of the blood made her head spin but the imagination ate at her heart. She took a shaky breath and shook her head. He was okay, he was okay.

The doctor said Robert was free to go tomorrow and he can't come back to a house like this. And the blood was also on the carpet on the dining room, it would become prominent and would smell if it was left long enough so Cora rolled up her sleeves and looked around for a sponge and a bucket of water.

She started at the living room which was most stained. She sat in a crawling position on the floor and started scrubbing the floor with a soaked sponge. She wiped and wiped but it wouldn't go away, she scrubbed harder but it just wouldn't wipe off fully. Just like her mind, she wanted this memory to go away; she wanted it to go away forever because it hurt. To think again and again of what happened unsettled her stomach. Tears fell down on the floor and she once again sighed loudly and splashed the sponge in the bucket for more water. She put her hair behind her ears with her free hand and leaned down again and noticed that her white shirt caught more and more stains. But that didn't matter because it should have been her instead of Mrs. Hughes and Carson to soothe him when he was writhing in pain. It should have been her who sat by his side as they waited for an ambulance. So she scrubbed and scrubbed, her arms unwilling to work more but she scrubbed. She wanted wipe it all off, she wanted it to go away. She started sobbing and she violently splashed more water on the floor and resumed scrubbing.

She was his wife and it was her job to take care of him. He was the same man, her best friend and today she almost lost him. She knew the real deal, he worked because he was heartbroken, he moved because he was heartbroken, he was extra careless with his health because he was heartbroken and she, _SHE_ broke his heart. The marriage was in the ruins because both parties were at fault but _this,_ this was her fault. She wasn't the one who moved countries, who was forced to live away from her family. Loud sobs escaped her throat and she didn't hide them, her cries were loud and painful but she didn't care. She didn't care and she scrubbed. Why wouldn't it go off? Why wouldn't it go away?

She wasn't the one who had an ulcer. She lived with her family, had a so-called boyfriend and Robert was miserable, his life could have been so much better if she had stopped him. The image of Robert writhing in blood came before her eyes again and this time she howled in pain. Tears ran down her eyes, her eyes red and swollen. Her hands were red now, her clothes were red now. She should have been here. She scrubbed the floor more firmly.

She almost lost him today; she was a blink away from losing Robert. The Robert whom she had spent half of her life with, the Robert who was the father of her children. She sobbed again and she moved to clean more areas drenched in blood, it all needed to go away because it was too much. He might have died and she wouldn't have known for hours. He would have died in horrible pain in a cold room with no one by his side. The side that was hers, the side which she left, the side which was now empty, cold and abandoned.

That's what she felt; cold and empty. Cold because she had been so blinded. She had been foolish and that had cost Robert his life. She was cold because she couldn't see the misery he was in.

Empty because her heart was broken and shattered and terribly damaged. Empty because her whole heart, her full heart had been away for years, for over thirty years. The heart that was no longer hers; the heart that she had given away years ago for permanent basis. The heart that now belonged to Robert. For permanent basis. Forever and ever.

She stopped. She stopped scrubbing. Her eyes flooded with tears, her clothes a mixture of water and blood, her heart on the verge of making the biggest U-turn.

She looked at the photo of her on the table and remembered that beautiful moment when she caught his eye. He had kept it in his living room; he wanted her to be in his life but couldn't say because she wouldn't let him, a thought that pained her heart immensely. She then looked at the other table and saw a family portrait, she dragged herself there, and not caring if more blood was staining her clothes or body and not standing because her legs didn't have the energy. She grabbed the frame and looked at his face. His beautiful, smiling face.

The smile that made her heart skip a beat every single time. Her eyes welled up again as she traced a fingertip on his face in the photo. Her heart felt a rush as she spoke. "Oh, Robert" as tears fell on the frame.

"Oh, my darling" she looked at the face in his picture, his perfect, handsome face as violet sobs erupted from her throat. "I am so sorry" she said as she sat against a sofa on the floor. "I am so, so sorry. My darling" Her darling, Robert. She held the frame against her heart that beat so loudly, threatening to wake the neighbors. She closed her eyes and this time she didn't see the blood and the face of him writhing, she saw a face of him smiling on her, when he held her close in bed, wrapped her in his arms and whispered sweet nothing to her, the face that he had when he was about to say the words that she was about to say now "I love you"

This was it. Her heart made the turn, leaving the head at the very opposite end. Her heart wanted him, always had, always will.

After the great milestone, she took a shower in Robert's washroom, wore a sweatshirt of his and ran to her hotel hoping no one would see her looking so disheveled. She changed into her clothes and rushed to the hospital.

After being directed to the new room, she entered to find soft giggling of Mrs. Hughes. Her breath hitched because she knew what it meant. Her heart drummed against her chest as she took slow steps towards the room.

She entered when Carson was saying something about giving them a fright. Only then she saw Robert lying on a small bed of the hospital. His skin pale and hair disheveled. His hand was attached to a tube as he rested with droopy eyes and a soft smile.

She took two steps in when the sounds in the room muffled. Her eyes met his and the world stopped.

* * *

 ** _I am so sorry if this is a disappointment because I feel like it is :'(_**

 ** _Well, well anyways seems like things are about to be less torturous now, doesn't it? But you never know because I don't know, haha. I hope this chapter doesn't sound stupid, I wanted it to be perfect and when I want that, I end up ruining stuff. Please do review and let me know what you think._**

 ** _The idea I mentioned in the previous chapter was this. I just had this vision of Cora scrubbing Robert's blood and thinking on their life and representing the feelings through the scrubbing. I don't know if this makes sense to you all. Sorry, babies. Also, sorry if there are mistakes, I didn't re-read it properly._**


	22. Chapter 22

The pale, exhausted blue of his eyes stared at her scared, terrified blue pupils from a distance and she felt like the world that had been speeding on full speed for the past few hours came to a screeching halt.

She saw him lying in a soft cotton hospital gown, his body looking defeated, as if it had fought a battle for hours. His arm was connected to a tube that made sure he was getting all his necessary nutrients. The other hand was placed on the side of his tummy, the side that only just betrayed him a few hours ago. She stood in the door way for a minute or hours, she didn't know because his eyes made her see the stars. His droopy eyes made it difficult for her to work out what they said but she could see a glint of surprise and a gist of sadness. She sighed softly as she stared at him until he broke the spell with his raspy, quiet voice.

"Cora"

 _Cora.._

The two syllable word hinted so many emotions. A little surprise, a little relief, a little cry, a little happiness. But what sent a thrilling jolt up her heart was the realization that it was very, _very_ likely that she might never have heard her name in his voice again. The sudden rush of emotions threatened her stiff posture which she was holding up very dangerously. She felt her eyes getting glassy and she immediately sighed again and smiled as best as she could and entered the room two steps further.

When she reached the bed, she heard a soft cough which brought her back to reality which consisted of two more people in the scene. Two more people, she could never thank enough.

"Well then, we'll be outside" Mrs. Hughes spoke softly and Cora saw Robert blink his eyes, a gesture that approved of the notion. Mrs. Hughes looked at Cora again and smiled softly. She spoke with her eyes telling her to take on from now and Cora nodded and smiled back at her.

Mr. Carson who was busy glancing his eyes back and forth to the two women who very mysteriously conversed silently, didn't hear that he was being accompanied outside with Mrs. Hughes.

"Mr. Carson?" Mrs. Hughes said.

"Hm?" Carson was shook out of his detective thinking and he stared dumfoundly between the three people who were staring back at him.

Mrs. Hughes only chuckled at took his forearm and gently dragged him out of the room. A gesture that immediately distracted Carson and made his ears turn red.

Once the elder two were out of the scene, Cora looked back at Robert who watching them exit the room with a smile.

"How long do you think until he gets the hint?" Robert spoke very, very softly.

Cora examined his face and smiled a little, "He seems like a very adorable..um..what was it that Edith used to call you? Yes, _a Donk_ " she ended with a soft chuckle.

Robert smiled but a soft laughed erupted from his mouth and he immediately winced. Cora's body froze as she saw him groan and bite his dry, lower lip. She immediately went towards him and stroked his forearm.

"Shh, shh, don't talk" for a moment they both forget what had happened and Cora wanted to kick herself for it. She eased him down and he sighed as he shut his eyes momentarily. Up close when she stared at his face, her heart broke. More forehead lines, more eye bags, greyer hair, paler face and drier lips. He was so tired and exhausted and all Cora wanted to do was to beg for his forgiveness and wrap him up in a blanket and never let him go.

Robert opened his eyes and Cora sat down beside him.

"Are you in pain? Should I call the doctor?" she asked, trying hard to be strong. Watching him like this broke her. He had always been her strength and looking at him so vulnerable was a bit too much for her.

"No" he replied as he sighed, clearly hating all this as much as Cora did.

Looking at her confused face he urged on "I mean, the doctor just came to check me. He said its normal but severe pain won't stay long. Just a few hours"

Cora nodded and placed a lose strand of hair behind her ear.

"I am sorry they made you come here like this, they shouldn't have scared everyone like that" he said looking at her with droopy eyes.

 _He_ was sorry? God, she wished he didn't do that; unknowingly mock her. He shouldn't be sorry; she should be the one apologizing.

"Please" she pleaded looking at her hands on her lap "Please, don't apologize to me. Actually I was already here"

Robert raised his eyebrows to some extent and Cora spoke more "Yes, um I was here. For a seminar, I just dropped by to your house and I saw Mrs. Hughes outside" she lied. But she really didn't want to torture him with what actually happened. She knew him, he would apologize again and she couldn't bear that. "She was on her way here so she told me"

Cora answered looking down; she couldn't look in his eyes and lie. Lie about what absolutely broke her into pieces.

"Oh..and the girls?" he asked.

Cora shook her head again and tried to hide her tears. When she managed that, she looked at him again. "Um, they don't know yet, I planned on telling them but it got very late. I'll tell them first thing in the morning"

Robert nodded and silence fell over them. Cora just wanted to break down in front of him and tell him she was sorry and tell him what she saw and thought but she couldn't, not when he was like this. He was only just brought back to life and thank God for that. Thank God.

Robert sighed again and felt his eyes dropping more. "Cora.." he started but winced again.

Cora got up and adjusted his blanket. "Shh, you need to sleep, Robert"

Robert wanted to ask her what she was doing here? Why did she come, what did she know but all questioned blurred away when he saw Cora readjusting his blanket. A sudden rush of nostalgia hit him reminding him of the days when he used to come home, tired from work. So tired that he used to just collapse on the bed right away. Those nights Cora used to adjust him in bed properly and when he murmured, she used to say just the phrase.

 _"Shh, you need to sleep, Robert"_

Robert felt tears in his eyes, he would give anything to have that back. To have his Cora back but now she was no longer his and was probably only tending him out of pity.

When she reached up and tucked his arms under the blanket, Robert stared at her and a moment later Cora stared back at him. Their faces were close, closer than they had been in years and Robert wanted the time to stop despite the pain and their situation.

Cora stared back at him and saw him studying her face. It had been so long that he had done that, it used to be his favourite hobby and Cora felt like she had travelled back in time and wanted to have a go again. To make everything alright again.

Robert saw Cora gulp and saw the same nostalgic look in her eyes that he couldn't help but say it.

"Will you stay?" he questioned, a little reluctantly.

 _Always_ , she thought.

Instead she said "Yes" and he shut his eyes, feeling safe and satisfied.

* * *

Few hours later, Cora heard the tick of the clock and the beep of the machine that reassured Cora every other minute that he was alright, that he was alive. Cora sat down on a chair next to him simply studying his sleeping form. The gentle rise and fall of his chest kept her distracted until her eyes travelled to where his hand clutched his stomach.

She kept thinking what he must have felt like. A hundred different scenarios flashed across her eyes, each more painful than the other. She felt so guilty. She might have been arranging a funeral right now. Just the thought that she might have lost him forever kept banging her heart like a loud school bell, each time cutting a piece of it. She walked up to his bed and stared at his face. Even in his sleep he wasn't relaxed, his brow was furrowed, like the way it used to look when he checked the bills or signed a cheque. She hesitatingly reached up and touched his cheek. His face was a bit cold so she palmed it softly to generate some heat. A new round of tears swam out of her eyes and fell on Robert's gown. God, how she loved him. She loved him desperately, madly, blindly. She just wanted to wake him up and tell him how much she loved him. And how wrong she had been, how sorry she was.

"Oh, darling" she let out a quiet sob and bit down her lip to muffle the sound. She covered her face with her hands and cried silently. She just let it out. Her body shook and swung as more and more sobs erupted. She just wanted to tell him.

"Oh, darling, I am so sorry" she whispered sniffing back and wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "Please forgive me" she said again as looked at him and hoped he heard her. After a few minutes she took a deep breath and smoothed the lines on his head, a gesture that made him mumble something incohesive so she moved forward and kissed his forehead, softly but firmly. She closed her eyes and let her lips linger on his forehead. When she backed up, he looked relatively calmer and Cora smiled and went towards the small sofa where she intended to sleep. She would not leave him. Not anymore, not now, not ever.

* * *

Morning came and Cora took one look at Robert and exited the room to make a phone call. She intended to tell everyone before Robert woke up.

She quickly called on Mary's phone as she stirred her coffee. After a few beeps Mary picked up the phone on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Hi, darling. You weren't sleeping were you?" she asked as she took a seat next to the window in the lounge. Thankfully, the lounge wasn't crowded.

"No, actually I have some things to do so I woke up early today. What's up?"

Cora took a sip of her coffee "Darling, I need to tell you something but I want you to sit down for this"

A few seconds of silence passed through the other end until Mary spoke "Mama, what is it?"

Cora sighed "I am in Germany"

"Yeah, I know" Mary replied "Sybil told me. Weren't you supposed to come back last night?"

"Yes"

"Mama, please tell me"

"Your father..he had an ulcer"

"What?" Mary practically shouted and Cora bit her lip.

"Yes, apparently for quite some time now and last night it burst"

"Oh, My God! Mama, is he alright? Oh, God is he okay? Where are you?"

"Mary, Mary! Hush! He's alright now. I am at the hospital and he is sleeping. He had surgery last night, he got here in time, and he's safe now. He's alright" Cora reassured both Mary and herself.

"How did you find out?" Mary questioned.

This was one question, Cora did not want to answer, one memory she did not want to think back at so she just closed her eyes and told Mary the same story she told Robert.

"I am coming there! He's so weak now, he needs us" Mary said, sounding sure.

"Mary, you don't have time to go out for dinner, how can you leave everything and come here?"

"Mama, I know that! But who else is going to take care of him? He didn't even tell us, Mama! We can't leave him. He can't take care of himself, if not his daughters, who else?"

That hidden harsh unspoken words were thrown at Cora in a true Mary style and Cora sighed and told herself to hate herself after the phone call.

"What I meant was, that…I'll stay"

A moment of silence felt like years when Mary spoke "What? You?"

"Yes, me. Charles Blake actually told me some more seminars I could attend here and there's a really great auction coming up in a few weeks. So why shouldn't I just stay? I never really saw Germany anyway and I can take care of your father" Cora hoped with all that she had, that her absolutely ridiculous cover sounded somewhat true. In truth there was nothing of that but she couldn't possibly just blurt out that she wants to stay because she can't leave him and she can't leave him because she's been stupid and that she still loves him, surprise surprise!

"Mama..you really don't have to, I am sure one of us can manage"

"Mary, I am telling you its fine!" she sounded somewhat harsh and bit down her tongue. She was pathetic at faking a cover.

After Mary agreed she asked her to take out time and tell everyone else and perhaps Skype her so everyone could see Robert rather than calling again and again.

After the call she went back to the room where Robert was still sleeping. So she silently drank her coffee and relaxed under the beeping sound of the machine.

* * *

When Robert woke up a few hours later, he saw from his blurred vision that Cora was talking to Mrs. Hughes and a doctor. He blinked a few times to see clearly when the three of them turned around to see him wake up.

"Good morning, sleepy head" Mrs. Hughes joked and Robert smiled.

Cora moved forward and smiled softly at him, a sight that made him forget about the large cut on this stomach momentarily. "How are you feeling?"

"Hm, better"

"That's good, that's good." The doctor spoke.

"Now we can shift you to a private room after the nurse change your bandage and you can stay there for some days or if you'd rather we can go with you preferred arrangement"

"I'd like to go with my plan if it's possible" Robert replied and Mrs. Hughes just rolled her eyes.

Doctor Burke nodded and took one last look at the machines.

"Well I just examined you, but tell me if the pain is the same as last night"

Robert tried to sit up by himself but in a blink of an eye Cora and Mrs. Hughes was on his side helping him up. "No, it's not the same as last night that was more like it was burning; now it's like a dull ache. It still hurts but not like last night"

"That's excellent! Well then you can get changed and then we'll make the arrangements" With that the Doctor took his leave and Mrs. Hughes went out to give the couple some privacy.

"What arrangements?" Cora asked as she adjusted his pillows behind his back.

"I had discussed it with him earlier on if I needed care I'd rather be tended at home than in the hospital. They'll give me a nurse 24/7."

Cora couldn't argue on that, as much as she disapproved of the idea, she knew Robert hated hospitals. He barely stood it during the birth of his daughters so he would never agree. So Cora just nodded and sat next to him.

She looked down at her hands as she raised her next question "How long?"

Robert sighed, he had hoped he could skip this conversation "A few months"

Cora looked at him and Robert could see the screaming pain in her eyes "When were you planning on telling us?" she asked.

"Cora, I.." he said as he shut his eyes thinking back to all the mess his mind had been sorting these past few months. "I didn't think it would be this bad so I didn't want to worry you all"

She looked at him again in disbelief "Robert, we are your family! We had a right to know. For God's sake if something had happened, then?" Cora tried really hard to keep her composure but Robert detected the breaking of her voice. He felt guilty.

"I should have told everyone. I am sorry"

He was about to extend his hand and take hers because it felt right and because he was dying to feel her soft hand against his. It had been so long since he took her hand or hugged her that now that she was so real and so close, his heart and hand tingled. Before he could think further, the nurse barged in to change his bandage and Cora walked out the room to wipe away her tears.

* * *

"God, Papa, how are you feeling?"

Robert was skyping with Sybil after a short conversation with Ros, Edith and Mary. Cora was sitting at the sofa listening to their daughter questioning him.

He couldn't speak a lot, because it exhausted him so the major questions were "How are you feeling?" What _exactly_ happened? Why had he been so careless? Etc etc.

"I am feeling a lot better, darling" he replied softly.

"Where is Mama?" Cora got up and sat next to Robert. Because the bed was small, she was joined by the shoulder with him and Robert felt stiff and glad at the same time.

"Yes, baby?" Cora asked.

"Mama, how are you?" Always the most considerate of her girls. Everyone asked about Robert but only Sybil asked Cora how she felt because she knew what hell her mother must have went through. She knew her best out of all.

Cora smiled "I am alright" but Sybil could see the red rimmed eyes that Cora had tried and failed to dull with makeup.

"What's the plan now? Papa you will have to be very careful"

"I have been given a private nurse that'll take care of me and make sure I am careful" Robert teased.

She didn't know why, but Cora felt a shot of guilt. She should be doing all that, not the nurse. So she looked away from Robert and the screen.

"Mama, do you want me to send some more things to your hotel?"

Robert looked at Sybil and back to Cora when Cora replied "Yes, honey that'll be great."

Sybil nodded and Cora could see that she was waiting for her to tell her that she is staying with Robert but Cora hadn't talked with Robert yet so she didn't know how he'd react.

"Papa, do you want me to come? I can take some time off from work. I don't want you to be alone" Sybil said.

"He's not alone" Cora chuckled nervously "Didn't Mary tell you? I have some seminars here and an auction"

Robert looked at her and then back at the screen. He really didn't know what was going on.

"Darling, I am alright" Robert finally replied.

"No, I mean to live with you" Both Robert and Cora knew how hectic Sybil's schedule was, other than her job she had joined almost every charity for welfare which required a lot of attention, and Cora thought back to her conversation with Sybil about the baby and she knew Sybil, if she came she wouldn't leave before a few months.

Cora looked at Robert and she could see that he was trying to put her off; he really didn't want her to leave everything behind and tend him when he was already being treated just fine. Before Robert could speak, Cora spoke for him.

"I am staying with him"

 _What?_

Robert immediately froze and Cora took his hand from underneath the blanket. She intertwined their fingers together and Robert couldn't help but shut his eyes for a moment, the perfection still marveled at him. Their hands fit so perfectly and if only Cora knew how many times Robert guiltily imagined holding her hand or holding her close. Cora squeezed his hand asking him to trust her lead.

"Yeah, your father and I discussed it. I'll be here anyway and it would be a waste of so much time and money if I stayed at the hotel. I'll just stay at his house. That way I'll be able to work and foresee if he's behaving" Cora played her perfect poker face until Sybil was convinced. Finally when the call ended Robert looked at her and she looked back at him. The nearness caused her to jump and she backed away a bit.

"I know you didn't want anyone to be here so I just made that up" Cora said still holding is hand.

Robert who was still mesmerized but how close she was only hummed.

Suddenly Cora's expressions changed, his lack of a positive approval made her expressions grow stiffer and she released his hand and got up the bed. Robert immediately felt the loss of the perfect contact.

"But I.. of course I don't have to if you'd rather, I can stay at the hotel and-"

"Cora" he said her name and that made to her stop babbling. "It's perfectly alright"

Cora smiled at him and headed to the sofa to get her mobile.

"What perfect timing of your seminars" he softly giggled; totally unaware that it was all made up.

"Yeah, haha. Perfect" she replied nervously, looking away.

* * *

Cora called her hotel to send her things to Robert's house. Cora drove back with Robert and Mrs. Hughes to his house. The nurse got out first and they all helped Robert on a wheel chair. Cora bit her lip as she neared the house, thinking back to last night but was met by a reassuring hand of Mrs. Hughes at her back as they entered the house. The house was clean, all the remains of the blood were gone and Cora stilled in her moments. When the nurse and Robert were a bit far away, Mrs. Hughes whispered to Cora.

"I had the cleaning company clean it up this morning"

Cora felt tears in her eyes and hugged Mrs. Hughes.

A few hours later, Cora unpacked her bags that were delivered from the hotel. She had thrown away her clothes from last night. She was busy setting up her wardrobe and ordering home delivery for her when she hopped around Robert's room to see what he was doing and if he'd like anything. He didn't have much choice though, he was asked to eat light meal with minimum spices. Cora saw Robert sitting on his bed, looking nervous. The source of nervousness was made clear when a middle aged woman, Robert's nurse unfolded a pair of Robert's pajamas.

She was about to help him change and Robert felt much too uncomfortable with a stranger undressing and dressing him. Cora chuckled lightly and entered the room.

"What's going on?" she asked as she saw Robert fidget with his hands. He was still looking so tired that her heart broke at the sight of him. Surely she could help him in some way.

"Oh, good evening Ma'am. I was just about to get Mr. Crawley ready for bed"

"Oh" Cora said and looked at Robert and back to the nurse. "Oh you know what? Let me do that"

Both Robert and the nurse stared at her. Four sets of eyebrows rose and Cora saw Robert turn a little more red.

"You, Ma'am?"

"Yes, I'll do that. Why don't you prepare the soup the doctor has recommended for Mr. Crawley?"

The nurse acquiesced and handed Cora his pajamas and left the room.

Cora moved forward and suddenly she thought that she hadn't thought this through. She was thinking as the former Cora, Cora that was _his_ wife. Not the Cora he was soon to about to divorce.

"I know you felt awkward so.." she said taking two hesitant steps towards him.

"Yes..but..Cora you don't have to do this. You're not my nurse" he said.

 _No, only just your wife._ Cora thought.

Cora felt again very much in the heartbreaking situation they were in. "No, no I am not your nurse but I know how to do this better than her. Especially with you" she tried to add some humour into the situation.

Robert chuckled softly thinking back to the days he got drunk and Cora helped him in and out of his clothes at night. Robert nodded and Cora stepped further.

She sat down between his legs on the floor and started unbuttoning his shirt. Cora gulped as the buttons popped open, awaiting the sight that will haunt her for life. As the last button left the hole, Cora pushed back Robert's shirt and saw a big white bandage wrapped around almost half of his right side. Cora gulped again and shuddered thinking of what was beneath it.

Robert was totally unaware of what Cora was feeling because he only concentrated on the goose bumps he felt at the light trail of Cora's touch. He felt as if every hair on his body stood up to admire the view that he awed at from an aerial position. He was staring at Cora hair, the perfect slope of her nose, her perfect cheek bones that Robert loved to stroke, her pink lips agape revealing her tongue that poked at the lower sets of teeth.

Cora stood up and like clockwork Robert raised his arms and Cora pushed down a soft loose shirt of Robert down his head. His pajamas smelt just like him and Cora couldn't help but breathe in the scent in the process. God, how she missed it. Missed snuggling up in his arms, in his musky scent and falling asleep at the spot. His scent comforted her. Even after all that had happened between them as the years passed, the smell was the same, her heart was the same. She just let her head win over it and now she's standing in front of the man who owned her heart and unable to tell him how much she loved him. Cora moved to his trousers and peeled it down his legs, the muscles of his calf had always been her weakness and by god, they still were.

Robert felt butterflies when Cora's soft hand caressed his thigh and trailed up and down to pull up his pajamas. When she reached the top most, she helped Robert with one hand to move up at a bit so that she could pull it over his hips.

As Cora moved closer, Robert could smell her perfume and if he was in a movie, he would pause at this second forever. He remembered the night he would snuggle up with this same woman and now he begs for a simple touch of her hand. The same woman who is staying with him for her children's sake and would leave him as soon as he's healthy enough. When Cora backed up, their eyes met and they both stilled. Robert immediately changed his mind about which scene to pause on.

Her bright blue eyes was always his undoing, he stared at her and thought nothing in the world was more beautiful. Hell, he was surprised how she wasn't one of the seven wonders of the world. He stared at her until he felt his heart flutter and then stop at the next second. It had taken him so many months to get used to the idea of a divorce, to cope with the fact that she was engaged to another man and now he was falling for her again, no, he can't have that. He can't bear it. So he immediately looked away and the moment ended. Cora too backed away and nervously bit her lip.

The nurse entered with the soup and Robert sat down properly to eat it. Soon, Cora's food arrived and she sat at the sofa in his room to eat her food.

So many questions, so much anger, so much heart break, so much complication, so many decisions but both decided that ignorance was bliss at this very moment.

* * *

 _ **Sincerest apologies if you find it super crappy and hurried because I do, so I don't blame you. I could have done better but ah, my schedule is a nightmare. My university started and I have morning and evening classes all week and it's draining me but you don't want to hear about that so sorry. I only hope you don't completely hate it. And I will try my best to do better in future. Speaking of which, please wait patiently, as I said I am super busy so I have no idea when I will update next. The tone of this chapter should be hint enough. PLEASE don't hate me. Waiting to hear from you all.**_

 _ **And sorry if there are many mistakes, after writing 5k, it's really hard to reread what you've just written.**_ _ **xoxo**_


	23. Chapter 23

15 days. Half a month since that horrid night, Robert strolled slowly in the jogging track near his house. He was doing a lot better, he could walk but not run but that didn't seem far too. He was advised not to move a lot, example being not to go dancing or go for bowling, not that he did any of that anyway. But he could walk and that was a relief. After strict bed rest for a week, he tested walking and even though he felt weak after 20-25 minutes of constant slow walking, which was no surprise as he was still healing but still he was glad of it. Staying in bed all day made him want to scream, he was so bored of the same four walls that he was ready to run on one signal but under the careful eye of Mrs. Hughes, the nurse, even Carson, he didn't have much choice. And there were frequent calls from Ros, even Mama, as much as she hated skyping. Even Bates, although with the birth of his son, he didn't have time enough to scratch his head but he always found time to call him. The girls, oh the girls would call him anytime, everyday just to make sure he was in bed. And then, then there was Cora.

She didn't say much, nor did he say much to her. It was just so odd, so weird. The really didn't know where they stood and the communication process came at a halt after every few 'How are you feeling?' 'Did you take your medicine?' 'How was your day?' 'Did you see the news?'

This. This was it. This petty small talk and to think about what on earth was actually going on, gave him a headache.

 _Why was she here?_

This question was ringing again and again in his mind. Sure, she said she had seminars and she wanted to make sure he was okay. And yeah she did go out for her work and she definitely made sure he was comfortable but he knew her, there was something and it was eating him up to think of the billion possibilities. Robert's guess was that she was waiting for him to feel a little bit better so that she can officially dump him and tell him about her engagement.

Yes, Robert didn't ask, although he spotted no ring on her finger but he knew she was engaged but felt odd bringing up this topic. He just didn't have the energy. So many questions crept in his mind and he was just waiting for her to start up the conversation. If he was honest, he saw Cora as much as he saw his nurse, that is around 15 times a day but it was just that. It was Cora but they didn't talk, not really. She would have her dinner with him and as always, it was always the small talk. She'd fiddle with her fingers, tell him about the girls, the work, the weather (since he wasn't allowed out much) and bite down on her lip when the conversation once again ended awkwardly. It was so puzzling for him and day after day, he controlled his urge to spit it all out. To ask her all the why's.

 _Why_ is she here, what does she want? _Why_ is she already engaged? _Why_ is she so tense all the time? _Why_ isn't she telling him?

As the days passed by and nothing seemed to be changing, Robert felt like he really needed to be away. Day after day when she would come to him, tuck him in, laugh sometimes on something or tuck her hair behind her ear, or make a messy bun, or rub her eyes in the morning or how she would smack her lips together after applying the lipstick, how she'd drum her fingers against the table or how she smelled every night when she'd re-adjusted his pillows, he would forget it all. God, it was all too much. And the most painful part of all this was when their eyes met, when their faces were close. That was torture; such sweet torture. Each time, he'd forget _everything_ for a moment. The blue of her eyes mesmerized him and he'd drown in them. However the sweet escape always came to an end with a blink of an eye and he would hate it. Hate all of it, but most of all hate himself. What the hell was he doing? He left the country, he left the family to start afresh and now, now he can't control his damn feelings. He'd lose all that he had, break all the promises he made himself just because she looked at him _. Looked_ at him! He was a fool, he sounded so ridiculous, he was ready to jump in that dark hole again and he knew very well, that this time he won't survive. Every time she'd move away, he'd curse or hiss or clutch his bed sheet in his palm. He can't deal with this, not again. Why can't she understand that? Why can't she understand that he can't have her around? He can't have her near because he'll give it all away. The life he created here, the reality that he finally, after so, so much pain and anger, he wrapped around his mind, he'd forget it all. And then will be back to square one. He can't have that. He can't have her so why was she here? It was so hard for him.

He loved her. He loves her, he can't un-love her, not until he was alive, not until the last breath leaves his body. He tried but he can't do it. He loves her, he will always love her and the conscious part of his mind screamed that he can't have her. So he can't have her near. He avoided eye contact with her all this time, as much he could but every time she walked in and smiled, he'd abandon all his beliefs, his promises. Cora needed to go; he loved her _so_ much that's why she needed to go.

Cora felt as if a bomb was about to explode on her face. A bomb of questions that she was cowardly trying to avoid. Well, not avoid but was figuring out a way to answer all the questions. Her life, her goals had drastically changed these past few months and she felt like an indecisive psycho who freaked out every time she decided to talk about it.

* * *

She wasn't sure where the _it_ started from. Did it start from 'Hey, I changed my mind', 'Hey, guess what? I still love you' or did it start from 'I am sorry for making your life so miserable'. She just didn't know. She didn't know exactly how Robert felt about her _now_ because she had only just realized it herself what she felt, or better what she wanted. She knew Robert had feelings for her but she didn't know the extent of his feelings. She felt like a fifteen years old who was dating a guy for the very first time. She knew Robert needed answers but she just didn't know where to start.

Things were so weird between them. They just didn't talk; they talked about everything except the elephant in the room. The awkward small talks, the small touches, the bittersweet looks, all these emotions welled up on her and all she wanted to do was to tell him what she felt but she couldn't. She felt ashamed, she wanted to give him an explanation, tell him she was sorry. She was just waiting for him to get better. So that he can take all that.

However, it wasn't just Robert waiting for answers. Everyone else had questions too and rightly so. The girls never asked directly, but she could hear the questions in their tone, similar to how she instantly felt when she spoke to Mary at the hospital. Rosamund was her best friend and was always so blunt, so forward but like the others she never spoke. She asked her about the seminars and as much as Cora tried, Rosamund could guess that it wasn't all true. Mrs. Hughes was sweet and kind and so helpful but every time she was at Robert's house, Cora could see the sadness and the questions in her eyes.

The what's, the why's, the when's. None of them asked directly and Cora pretended as if she didn't see any of that. It was as if, everyone around her was standing still, just waiting for her to signal something.

Although one person didn't quite stay quiet or discreet with the questions; Simon. Fortunately for her, he was super busy but Simon wasn't a fool, he could sense some serious change. The fact that he was so sure that Cora loved him saved a lot of faffing but this recent business of Cora staying at Robert's place kept him awake at night. He constantly asked her when was she coming back, why was she there? But Cora would just tell him what she told everybody else.

"I have seminars to attend, I told you Charles Blake told me about them and I am here because Robert is ill, I need to stay here to keep the girls updated"

Lies, lies, all lies. But really Simon was the last person she wanted to disclose her feeling to, right now. In truth he was a great listener, he supported her, which was one of the reason she actually started going out with him but she couldn't possibly talk to him about how she wants to be back with her husband. He'd listen to it and then go and probably kill someone. It wasn't fair to keep him hanging but really she had a lot on her plate. She could sense that Simon wanted to come to Germany, so that he could ease his nerves that everything was okay but she knew he couldn't. He was busy with his university, it was crucial exam time and he even worked weekends so that was thankfully sorted. Every day he'd call her or skype her and Cora would say the same thing. Poor man was so desperate that he started asking how Robert is, how well he is doing, just so he could figure out how much more time she'll stay. Every time she'd try to calm him down and then later wanted to slap herself for keeping everyone hanging.

The seminars though! Oh, she felt so awful. She searched vigorously for something that was remotely related to art and was going on around this time and she would dress her formally and go to some stupid gallery or shop where people would give her weird looks because of her over dressing. But Robert was satisfied; she didn't think he'd think that there was something fishy involved, so that was thankfully sorted. She had fake dressed and gone out thrice now and she was seriously counting minutes when someone would burst on her with explanations. The thought became reality all too soon, just after 15 days she had stayed at his place. A delivery was made that day that carried a message that screamed, now or never.

* * *

Robert was sitting on his sofa in the lounge room drinking tea while Cora worked on her laptop. They were in a comfortable silence for once, thankfully.

"What do you want to eat tonight?" Cora asked as she smiled at him softly.

Robert put his newspaper aside and thought "Do I have an option which doesn't contain bland, lousy soups?" he made a face and Cora chuckled.

"Well, that depends.." she raised her eyebrows.

Robert sighed "I am fine" he made it clear and Cora nodded. "And really even the nurse told me that I can eat anything I'd like as long as it's not powerfully spicy or too heavy" he took a sip from his cup.

Cora twitched her eyebrows "When did she say that?"

"2 days ago. You can ask her when she comes back after her two day break"

Cora sighed and resumed her work "Yeah, poor woman needs a break"

Cora typed a few words on her email when she sensed that Robert was staying at her.

She looked at him "What?"

"Really?" he replied.

Cora just raised her eyebrows from the couch she was sitting on opposite the one to Robert's. She had made a pony tail and was sitting cross legged, with her glasses on, with her laptop on her thighs.

" _She_ needs a break? When literally you have taken all of her jobs"

"Well, I-" Cora turned pink.

"I should pay you instead of her" Robert immediately regretted what he said and he could see that Cora felt embarrassed. He shouldn't have said that, he knew she was there to look after him because she wanted to, not on duty.

Before she could reply, the doorbell chimed and Robert immediately stood and waved at Cora who was ready to get up for him. "I'll get it" he said and she nodded.

Robert stood in the door way for a few minutes while Cora resumed her email. Robert signed a piece of paper and entered the house with two packages.

He sat back down on the couch and started opening the package. He chuckled when he saw what was in it "Oh, Rosamund finally shipped me back my sweaters that she stole from me" he said unfolding the sweaters one by one.

Cora giggled "She took two of my dresses and three pairs of shoes, when do you think she'll return that?"

Robert giggled as he set aside the box "When was this?"

"Around two months ago"

"Hmm, wait a year or two" they both giggled and Robert set about opening the other package.

After a few minutes of silence Cora spoke "Hey, should we order food from that chinese place, Mrs. Hughes told us about?" Cora was focused on her laptop, however when Robert didn't reply, Cora diverted her gaze to him.

Robert's face lost its colour and Cora set aside the laptop in concern "What is it?"

Robert passed her the package and stood up to walk towards the kitchen. Cora saw him leave and then looked at what was in that package.

The big stamp of the court was indication enough what it was about. The final set of papers for divorce had arrived. Cora internally gasped. She just remembered that Robert had asked her earlier that he wanted his papers delivered here and she had told her lawyer this long ago. It completely slipped her mind. This also meant that the last set of her papers were waiting for her back in London.

"Shit" Cora said and rubbed her hands on her face when she heard Robert's footsteps reemerging from the kitchen.

He held a glass of water and sat down on the couch again, looking anywhere but at her.

This was so awkward. She had been staying at his house with him for half a month and now they are sitting here, sipping tea and looking at their divorce papers. With two signatures it would all be done. Finished. And let's not forget that after arriving at the last step, she wants to go back. A part of her told her to sign it, because Robert deserved so much better but her heart screamed no. Not anymore. Not ever.

She set the papers on the table and the silence consumed both of them until Robert coughed lightly.

"Well, I- should I, that is – I'll get a pen"

 _I'll get a pen._

The four words shook everything inside of her and the only thing she could say with a screechy voice was "No!"

Robert who was half way getting up, stilled. He looked at her and Cora felt her heart thumping out of her chest. Robert sat down with a sigh and suddenly he looked so tired, so exhausted.

Cora felt tears pooling in her eyes and she took a breath to calm herself down.

"Um, I- what I mean is- don't do it-I mean not right now" she finally said, she sounded absolutely out of breath.

Robert intertwined his fingers from across her and stared at her looking confused and scared and sad and irritated and tired. Cora reflected those emotions. He looked at her for a few seconds wondering what she meant until he answered. "We have signed in front of each other before, Cora" he said looking down, clearly wincing at the memory. Cora wished she could turn back time and not sign, what the hell was she doing?

Cora nodded and fiddled with the edge of her T-shirt; her nervous habit. "I know- yeah, I just, its-" Cora sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

Robert gulped and nodded "Alright" and went to his room.

Cora knew what he must be thinking, that she was absolutely mental and what not. As he shut the door, Cora covered her mouth with her hand, tears forming in her eyes and she saw the disaster in front of her. With a ding of the laptop she saw an email pop up, telling her that her papers were ready. She shut off her laptop and ran to her room. That was the last time they saw each other that day.

* * *

With the weather turning colder, much like their lives, the heavy monsoon rain made its appearance. They had both had their dinners separately, they felt too awkward to face each other and now at 2AM, Cora lay on her bed, in dark blue velvety pajamas thinking back to that scene in the lounge earlier that day. The sound of the heavy rain outside comforted her and she sighed rolling over to the window and looked at the shadows the trees created. She couldn't sleep, she just couldn't. And what kept nagging her was that Robert had to change his bandage today and because of that stupid incident that day, she didn't went to his room. Not that she ever changed his bandage anyway, the nurse always did that and Cora knew that Robert was uncomfortable changing it in front of Cora, but Cora knew well enough how to do it, she had seen the nurse many times from outside the room, which was one of the reasons Cora granted leave to the nurse but he really needed to change it, he can't get any infections so she laid there thinking about what to do when she finally sighed and went towards his room. It didn't matter if he was sleeping, he really needed that.

Cora was glad to see light from underneath the door of his room, she sighed and knocked softly, and then with her fingers crossed, she entered.

Robert rested against the headboard, reading a novel. He worse his loose black sweatshirt with a pair of matching trousers. He looked up at her, clearly surprised that she was here. He put his book aside and waited for her to say something.

Cora took few cautious steps in the room before she started speaking "You need to change your bandage" she said flatly, looking at his forehead.

Robert was clearly not expecting this so he just went "Oh". Robert could change his clothes by himself now, Cora only helped him the first four days but he couldn't manage the bandage, not if he wants it to wrap properly.

"Oh, um, it's alright" what a lousy reply, he thought.

Cora raised her eyebrows in confusion when he continued "I can do it" he said as he sat straighter and removed his shirt. He couldn't even unwrap it as it was secured at the back and middle of his spine. He fiddled for a few seconds as Cora watched him, biting her upper lip.

Really, there was no need for him to act all know-it-all. Cora walked further and sat between his legs when he stilled her hands. Cora looked up at him, he had never done that before.

"There's no need for you to do this, you don't need to see this, okay? I can do it" he finished sharply and Cora could feel her temper rising.

"Clearly, you can't! I am not a child Robert!"

"For God sakes, then I will get it changed tomorrow at the hospital"

Cora looked at him all baffled. What was he doing? He was being ridiculous.

Cora bit the inside of her cheek "What's the problem, Robert? I told you I can manage; you need this right now, stop being so childish"

Robert felt his temper rising too. Can't she understand for once! He didn't want her to see him like this, to see him scarred, to see him so weak. He had to be strong, especially with what was happening between them. He didn't want her to see his flaws, things that he cannot control, that being taking away the deadly scar or the fact that he can't stop loving her! He didn't want her to see any of that.

Robert got up, wore his shirt again and walked a few steps away from her. Cora stood up too, and crossed her arms around her chest.

"It's not your job" he said as he exited the room. He wanted some water.

Cora huffed and followed him outside "It's not my job? This is not a job for me, Robert!" she said and that was the breaking point.

Robert who had half opened the fridge door slammed it shut, momentarily shaking Cora and then shouted back.

"Yeah? Okay, I believe you" he said doing the most ridiculous hand gestures. "Then why are you doing this Cora? Why are you here?" he asked crossing his arms around his chest. Cora had never seen him angrier.

"I-"

"No lies" he mentioned.

Cora just stood there and sighed, she bought a few seconds looking around the room when she shut her eyes and replied "You know why" hoping in some way he'd get the point.

He didn't.

"No, that's the thing, I don't know! I don't know anything nowadays, no one bothers to tell me, Cora!" he exasperated.

Cora rolled her eyes "What is this about, Robert, what's your problem?"

"Oh, my problem? I'll tell you" Cora felt that the bomb was at last, exploding.

"You get engaged, you don't bother to tell me. The whole world knows but you didn't bother telling me. Me- your husband! I sit here like a damn idiot getting the news from a third person, denying everything until I finally see that it's true. That's my problem! Then you come along, engaged to another man and I wait for you to dump me and when finally, _finally_ the source for leaving me arrives, you ask me not to sign it. That's my problem!" Robert finally let it all out, for a moment even he was surprised at the outburst but god, it felt good but equally painful simultaneously.

Cora felt like she had been thrown off a building at had gotten hit by a truck right in the stomach. She really needed some air. All this time he knew about the ring, he knew about it. Cora felt sick.

Tears gathered up in her eyes "How do you know about the ring?"

"Does it matter?!" he replied going further into the lounge.

"It's not like that, Robert, listen to me!" she followed him to the lounge, her eyes full of tears, but this time she didn't bother wiping them away. Since everything was coming out bit by bit, why not the tears.

"It doesn't matter, does it? _YOU_ are engaged so yeah, that's my problem. So don't bother with the bandages and the pampering, please. That's what you were here for anyway, right? To tell me about the engagement, well congratulations to you. I already know" He ended with the roll of his eyes.

Cora felt like she had been slapped. He actually thought she was here, pampering him so that she could ready him for the one final kick. Cora felt sick, her mind dizzied. How dare he? How could he even say that? Cora started crying and stormed towards him.

"How dare you?" she whispered, as tears made her voice so weak. She looked him directly in the eye, with her blurred vision and slapped at his collarbone "You don't know me at all, how dare you, Robert?" she didn't shout, she didn't scream. She just sounded weak and fragile. She sniffed "I need some air" she said as she headed towards the door, with just her flip flops and in just her pajamas.

She ran towards the door and looked around for her keys when she realized that she didn't have a car here. Too heartbroken, she opened the door and the cold air attacked her tiny frame but letting out another sob, she rushed out.

"Cora!" Robert shouted from behind "Cora! Cora, come back here, it's pouring" but she didn't listen. "Shit" he said as he walked as fast as he could, after her.

Robert was drenched completely in a few good steps and Cora was faster than him as she was running. It was around 2.30 AM and the streets were completely empty. The only light there was available was the street light. Robert walked as fast as he could. "Cora! Don't be crazy, come back" he screamed but Cora walked without looking back.

A few more steps and Robert felt pain in his stomach. The stiches burned and washing them with rain water wasn't the best idea.

"Cora" he called laboriously "Cora, I – I can't, Cora please" he stopped and put his hands on his knees. He looked up to see Cora turned around, staring at him with concern and so much frustration. She was a few steps further from him.

"Why" she said, drenched in rain. She was soaking from head to toe, she was also freezing but the only thing Robert could concentrate on were the fat tears that kept falling down her sweet eyes.

"Why, Robert? You just think I am here for business, don't you? That I could only possibly care about you as far as I get my profit, right? That I only care for you now because I want to dump you later?"

Her chest was falling up and down and Robert finally stood completely on his feet. He was also drenched, his eyes looked so sad and the greyish black hair was all ruffled. "Why are you here, Cora?" he asked her, softly this time, in the middle of the street, drenched in rain.

"Because, I," she let out a painful sob "Because, I love you, Robert. I love you" she gestured with her hands that looked just as exhausted as her. "You think that it's hard for you, well it's horrible for me too! Do you have any idea, how I, how I felt, when I was welcomed in your house with nothing but your blood?" she sobbed again, her tears falling shamelessly "How, I must have felt when I cried out your name hoping it was someone else's house and, and them waiting for hours to find out if you were going to live or not…not knowing if I'll ever be able to tell you that I am sorry, that I love you. Do you? It killed me, Robert, it destroyed me. I kept thinking what if I never see you again? What if you die, not knowing how I felt, not knowing that you are so loved by me, not knowing how sorry I was for the whole process of divorce. So, see? There! There is your answer, that's _why_ I am here. Not to tell you about some stupid ring. So, if you think that you don't mean anything to me" she scrunched up her nose "if you mean nothing more than someone I am glad to be rid of, then you're wrong! It's because you mean more than that to me . You mean _everything_ to me. There's your answer!"

Robert looked at her and he felt so much at once. He had so many questions, so many why's and when's and what's, he didn't know where to start. So he decided to go with the option that his heart agreed with, not his head.

He closed the distance between them as Cora stared at him with glassy eyes. In the middle of a quiet street under the street light in the pouring rain at midnight, he crashed his lips against hers. He took her waist and wrapped the other arm around her shoulders. Cora kissed him back with the same fervor, cupping his cheeks and clutching tightly on his back, as if her whole life depended on it.

* * *

 _ **Hey! How did you like that? Ha, I hope you guys forgive me for all the angst but here is the climax of the story. I really hope you like this, please do leave a review.**_

 _ **And I am so sorry for my lousy updating, I feel like I am at the university all the time. Since I have a holiday tomorrow. I just utilized this time in it was worth it. xoxox**_


	24. Chapter 24

Robert held Cora's hand firmly and walked back to the house. Cora didn't say anything nor did Robert; they were both too speechless to say anything. After the shouted confessions, tears of pain and frustration, there was nothing either of them could say. Not at once anyway. What just happened? A few minutes changed everything, they flipped the past four years and now they were back at square one and this time they didn't know the destination.

She loved him and he kissed her. The kiss was so beautiful, so bittersweet, and so passionate. It was like the last kiss they would ever share. When they finished kissing, he looked into her eyes and then took her hand and started to walk back and she let him, he was more of dragging her to the house, rather than Cora walking with him. Her mind was dizzy with the kiss and what she had done. She just said it, after days of wondering, she just did it, in the most unimaginable of ways. She was never the one for drama but when he stood in front of her in the middle of a darkened street, his eyes confused and scared, his hair tousled, his body regaining its strength, she couldn't help it; her heart couldn't take in appearance, his questions and his thinking. She had no idea he knew about the ring, that _damned_ ring. The thought that he knew all along made her want to vomit. And he thought she was readying him to dump him. She had a desperate need to tell him what she felt, what she meant and sorry she was. She was about to; she would repeat the words again and again until there was no shadow of doubt left in his mind. She almost did but then his slouched body somehow found the energy and he walked towards her, his eyes never leaving hers and he clutched her waist and covered her whole form with his arms and crashed his lips on her. It was like reflex, of old times maybe, her hands automatically worked to grab him, to touch him, to kiss him back with the same passion. They neared the house and her lips still tingled.

Robert twisted the knob of his door and entered, feeling glad to be out of rain. He still clutched Cora's hand; it fit perfectly in his as it always did. He kissed her because she said something he thought he'd never hear again. She loved him and he loved her too, so, so much. All thoughts and anger about her silence, engagement and behavior just flew out of his mind. When he saw her standing in front of him, putting her heart on a plate for him, he fell in love with her all over again. And this time, it ached. It ached because he wondered how on earth did he let himself believe that Cora was caring for him to break his heart all over again. Engagement aside, he could kick himself. His thoughts weren't unjust but it was so unjust of him to think that she was here only to make sure he signs the paper. No matter what had happened between them, she was still Cora. His Cora, he was her best friend, he knew her so well, even she used to say that and she had been his wife for decades. She would never do that. There were so many questions, he was still tensed and upset and somewhat relieved but still angry. He needed to ask her so many questions but he just didn't know how to start.

Robert slumped against the door closing his eyes momentarily and sighing. Cora stood next to him, her other hand clutching their intertwined hands as she bit down her lip and looked at the floor. Cora heard him sigh again and look at the roof and she realized that his cut must be burning.

"You okay?" she managed to say softly.

He looked at her and his blue eyes were so close to hers, he saw the same feelings reflected in hers.

"I am a lot of things right now" he replied straightly, still looking in her eyes.

Cora stood straighter and he saw a shadow of nervousness pass by her features.

"I..um, I meant the.." she pointed at his stomach and avoided his gaze.

He too stood straighter and look her other hand in his free one. He was taller than her so he stared at her head while she stared at the floor.

"Cora, please look at me" she felt tears in her eyes so she didn't look up, just waiting for the moment for the glassiness to pass but before it could, Robert retrieved one hand from hers and shakily put his hand underneath her chin to tilt up her face. She let him and she looked at him first time since the kiss. They looked at each other for a few seconds and their eyes were silently screaming so many muddled thoughts.

"Did you, did you mean what you said?" Robert asked nervously. She kept his gaze and just nodded softly. The action again accelerated the rate of Robert's heartbeat. He felt tears in his eyes too.

"Robert, I.." She started but Robert interrupted her.

"Shh.." he chuckled softly and wiped away his tears, Cora had never seen him like this and it broke her heart into so many pieces. This man still loved her so much. "Let me get used to the feeling again" he said looking at their hands again.

"Oh, Robert.." new tears escaped her eyes and she stood on the soles of her feet so that she could be evenly face to face with him. She just leaned in forward and joined her forehead with his. She could feel his breath on her mouth. Their foreheads and noses were joined and they both had their eyes closed. He was right, it was all so overwhelming.

He sighed in the feeling of her closeness and after a few moments he opened his eyes and rubbed her knuckles with his thumb. His thumb rubbed its way to her fingers and it just stopped at her ring finger. Cora observed his action and looked back at him, she distanced her face from his to look in his eyes and she could see the fear and confusion in his eyes. She knew what he was thinking so she spoke it out for him.

"It's not the way you think" she said. "Robert.." she cupped his cheeks with one hand to make him look at her, she wanted him to know that it was really true.

He looked at her "It was so..it's not an engagement ring, I know it looks like it and I must sound stupid but I never, I never said..Robert, really.." she struggled with the right words and Robert felt a shiver pass her body. He then realized their state. They were still soaked in rain water and he could feel the cold temperature getting to both of them.

"Cora" he said and she stopped babbling "We both need to get out of these clothes and have a shower before either of us get pneumonia" he chuckled "Let's talk afterwards" he said but he still held her hand and Cora had no desire to retreat from the warmth his body and presence offered. Their eyes locked again and they both sighed softly and then finally Cora gulped and retreated her hand from his grasp. Her body felt the need for his hand in hers immediately but she nodded and walked to her room as he walked to hers.

* * *

Robert exited the bathroom wearing his button up blue pajamas. The bandage had gotten wet hence it was easy to talk it off in the bathroom. He now exited to get some cotton to clean his scar so that he could re-bandage. As soon as he sat on his bed to get to work, he saw Cora enter his room with two cups of tea. He smiled softly at her. She was wearing her pink nightgown, her hair was still wet and she had no makeup on. She looked so beautiful like this. She set the cups on the small coffee table in his room. She then cautiously stepped towards him and gulped.

"Can I?" she asked.

Robert really didn't want her to do this but he knew that he can't have her running out in the rain again. So he nervously nodded and she took her position on her knees, between his legs so that she was face to face with him.

She shakily brought her hand up to his top button and opened it when Robert held her hands. Her eyes shot up and she could see that he was turning pink.

"Robert?" she asked softly.

"It's just.." he ran a hand through his hair "it..may scare you, I don't want you to be scared of me, of..how I look now"

Her heart landed in her stomach "Robert, she palmed his heart again, reassuring herself that he was here. "It won't, I promise" she said and he still looked doubtful. So she cupped his cheeks and softly nut firmly kissed his lips. She lingered for a few moments before stopping. She looked in his eyes and gulped at their ability to still take her breath away. "I love you" she finally said and felt tears in her eyes. She had never meant anything more than this.

Robert nodded his consent and she got around to opening his shirt again, she took her time, did it slowly. She was nervous to see it too, not because it may scare her, but because she would finally get to see the result of what she did to him, of how she treated him. That night when she entered his house to see his blood spewed all over the house still haunted her, it would give her panic attacks and now she would see how badly it had left a scar on his body permanently. When she finished the row of buttons, she put her hands on his chest, a way of reassuring both himself and her and finally pushed the shirt down his arms. Her eyes fell on the purplish reddish scar that started a little down his chest on his left side and travelled to his back. It was big and it was healing. The stitches were obvious and looked painful. This was his last bandage after this he was free to remove it permanently. Cora stared at the colorful line stretched on the side of his body and with every glance it hit her how much part she had in this. This scar was on his body was because of her. She gulped and trailed her fingers on the scar and felt hot tears in her eyes once again. Meanwhile Robert could see the ghost look on her face and he turned crimson. She hated how he looked now, she obviously hated it. So he just looked at her head, just wanting this to end. She finds him ugly now, not that he was ever much handsome but now he is just a broken saddo in his midlife.

Cora gulped wanting to look away because she knew this would haunt her forever so she quickly cleaned it out with cotton, put on his ointment and wrapped a bandage on it. She hurried through the process, keeping her eyes away from Robert. She was so ashamed.

When she finished, Robert finally spoke "I am sorry you had to see this" this caught Cora's attention and she looked up to find his face all red and embarrassed. "I know its..I could have gotten it changed from the hospital..I am sorry"

Cora was so confused "Robert, why are you sorry..I" her voice broke "I should be sorry, I am so, so sorry" Robert looked up at her and saw her freshly washed face, covering in tears.

"What?" he asked.

"I..I did this" she pointed at his bandage "I am so sorry, I did this to you, this is me, all of it. I have been so awful, I am so sorry, Robert"

Robert finally understood what she said and he realized that she was blaming herself "Cora, no" he said taking her hands in his "No, don't blame yourself, it's not. I was stupid, I didn't take care of myself and it wouldn't have mattered if you were with me or not, I was, what did Edith call me, a .. _Donk_ , yes. I did this to myself, I had several warnings but I didn't listen"

Cora chuckled softly and started to speak again "But.."

"No buts. And besides…" He looked into her eyes "In a way I am glad for this. If this never had happened, we might never have said those things we did a few hours ago. This made us realize what we want and how life can be so unpredictable. This gave me back you. I'd burst a thousand ulcers for that"

Cora heart skipped few beats and she burst into tears and right into his arms "Oh, darling!" she cried and wrapped her arms around his neck. She sobbed into his neck and he held her waist as tight as he could relishing the moment. She kissed his neck when he spoke "That's a relief"

"What?" she asked still hugging him.

"I just thought..that you would find me unappealing now" he confessed in a hushed tone.

Cora unwrapped her arms around him and put then on his chest. She lowered herself and kissed the covering of his bandage, she placed three soft kisses there when she moved upwards and kissed up to his chest, placing slow, soft languid kisses there making Robert sigh. She put her hands on his arms and caressed their length. She kissed his chest, his collarbone, both sides of his neck. Then she cupped his cheeks and kissed each one of them one by one. Robert sighed and closed his eyes; she then kissed his forehead and then descended her lips to his eyes. She palmed his face softly and she kissed each of his eyelid and then rubbed her nose with his softly and then kissed the tip of that too. His breathing became heavier and she could feel it on her mouth . She opened her eyes to see him looking back at her.

"How could I hate it, Robert?" she caressed his bandage "it's you. It's all you" Robert felt his eyes welling up and her tears were already falling on his thighs. "I love you, all of you"

"Oh Cora" he said as he crashed his lips on her. Cora wrapped her arms around his neck and he held her waist tightly. They were both determined to show each other what they meant to them. Robert tried to probe in his tongue and she immediately granted him the access and opened her mouth to him. He moaned when his tongue collided with her and soon as they were out of practice, their tongues danced in one rhythm. Cora placed her hands on his arms and on his chest and she moaned at the contour of his muscles. She rubbed her hand on his chest, trying to reach for him everywhere possible. His warm, soft skin was velvet on her hands and she couldn't stop herself from moaning. She tilted her head to give him access to her neck which he attacked and kissed with all that he had. Cora sighed and closed her eyes at the feeling. She gripped on his back and roamed her hands all over his back, she marveled at the expanse of his shoulders and grabbed his hair when he kissed just below her ear. She sighed with her swollen lips and smiled that Robert still remembered her sensitive spots. She leaned in to kiss his shoulder blades when her eyes fell on his bandage.

"Robert, darling.." her voice was raspy from the labored breathing and Robert travelled his lips from her ears, caressing it all the way from her jaw to her cheek. "Yes?"

She looked at him unsurely and Robert felt a fear creeping in his mind. She had changed her decision? She doesn't want this? He loosened her waist and looked at her from a gap "You don't want this.."

"No, no. I do" she quickly corrected and wrapped her arms around his neck more tightly "No, it's just..should we be doing this?" she said.

Robert really had no intention to stop; he wasn't sure he can now. He was already half out of his mind.

"If you want to wait, then…"

She cupped his cheek "No, I mean, your operation.."

"Oh" he sighed in relieve "I'll be alright" she still looked unsure and he tilted his head to kiss her palm in reassurance. She nodded and he untied the back of her nightgown. His hands fell on her back and he felt her soft skin on his coarse hands. He traced them up to her shoulders pulled down the straps leaving her in her black colored bra. He gulped and brought hand on her chest and lowered it to softly touched her breasts. Cora shivered at his touch.

"You are beautiful" he said and she moved up to kiss him again. His hand reached her back and he explored the soft skin, moaning into her mouth. Robert held her up and made her sit on his leg as he kissed his way down her throat.

"Oh, Robert" she cried in bliss as she held his mouth to her collarbone. He kissed his way down her chest and looked up to ask her permission. She nodded and put set aside her still wet hair and unclasped the back of her bra. He pulled down the straps and tossed aside her bra, taking in the sight that always left him breathless. He stared at her small, firm breasts and admired the way her chest fell up and down with every breath.

"Cora.." he said as he kissed the roundness of one while softly fondling the other. He was so gentle, so careful that it made her want to cry. It was nothing like this with Simon. What she had with him was purely bodily needs as far as bedroom was concerned but this, this was something else, this was heart, soul and body combining together and it had been so long since she felt that, that this was making her heart leap with love for this man.

Robert plucked on her pinks buds as Cora felt her body heating up. Robert then kissed at the center of his breasts and Cora moaned, keeping his face there. "Darling.." she said as he repeated the process with her other breast. He then kissed his way back up to her face and Cora shoved her tongue in his mouth and Robert groaned at the sensation. Cora pushed Cora softly back and when his head hit the pillow, she leaned on him from the side, careful not to put weight on his stitches. Cora leaned on him and kissed his neck and down his chest and Robert felt his arousal grow with every kiss she implanted. She exhaled on his chest and Robert felt like he would be spend in no time. It wouldn't be surprising since he hadn't had sex in four years. So he just immediately flipped them upside down, shocking Cora as she yelped.

"Robert, what.."

He muffled her question with another kiss and touched her sides as she squirmed in delight. He caressed her curves as his hands reached her long legs. He always loved her legs, they were so long and fleshy and he leaned down to kiss them but momentarily flinched because of a shot of pain.

"Robert, baby, come here. Please, just kiss me" and so he did, he kissed her stomach, circling her belly button with his tongue, watching her moan and planted sloppy kisses all the way back to her face. Meanwhile Cora's hands sneaked to the front of his trouser and cupped his hardening member. Robert groaned at the sensation. "Cora, ah, you'll have me spent in no time" he gritted his teeth to keep his self- control. Knowing that she was a bit behind him, he took her breast in his mouth as his hands reached down her panties. He helped her remove them as his hand cupped her womanhood. Cora moaned out load and so did Robert, it hand been so long. He touched her in the most delightful of ways as Cora continued her ministrations. She squirmed and yelped and Robert gritted his teeth and kissed her to muffle their sounds. Not long since both felt the desire for something greater and Robert aligned his body on top of hers. Only the soft light of the two lamps was glowing in the room, Robert looked at her face, her hair tousled, and her chest pink from the exertions and her lips swollen. She had never looked more beautiful.

Cora looked at Robert leaning on top of her, his light blue eyes stared at hers and Cora realized how much in love with him she is. She ran a hand in his hair as he sighed. She cupped his cheeks as Robert stroke hers softly.

"Oh, Cora. I love you…darling so much" he mouthed and a stray tear ran down the side of Cora's face.

"Me, too. Oh, darling, me too" she said as he removed his half removed trousers and closed the gap.

He kissed her one more time and intertwined one of her hands with his. "Don't leave me again, please. I can't bear to be without you. Not anymore"

Cora nodded and wiped away the tears he didn't know escaped his eyes. "Never. No more mistakes now. I won't let us. It took us too long to reach here, this is forever"

"Yes, forever" he said this as he entered her and they both cried at the union. He kissed her face as he slowly moved around; Cora moved faster to aid him. Even with her mind half dizzied, she didn't want him to overdo himself. She moved and clutched at his back and bit his shoulder to muffle her cry and he busied himself kissing her throat. She held his hand tighter and in a few seconds they both climaxed together.

After a few minutes in the post coital bliss, Cora moved to cover them up with quilt. He held her close and tight and Cora laid her hands and head on his chest. He hugged her close and kissed her head as she sighed. This had always been her favorite part. Cora hugged him to herself and smiled at the sound of the rain that was almost finished. Robert caressed her arm and she kissed his neck in response.

"We need to talk. We can't just ignore everything else"

She nodded. "Yes" She looked at him and he put a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"But not tonight." He replied as Cora yawned. He just realized how late it was. "We'll talk tomorrow"

"Yes, this night has seen too much already" she chuckled and he kissed her forehead as they both drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Robert woke up to the smell of coffee and cooking the next morning. He didn't know what time it was so he slowly yawned and moved to look at the clock. It was half past ten so he stretched and sat up. He only just recalled what happened last night and he smiled. It had been beautiful.

Nothing changed really but it felt like everything had. They still needed to talk, talk about what they really want. Miscommunication was the reason for their breakup before; this time he won't let that affect them. They still needed to talk about what they want, what they expect. Most importantly, what should they do now? He wanted her to ask about Simon, about the ring and about that _night._ He never knew that Cora had seen the blood. He couldn't imagine being in her place. To imagine Cora's blood spewed out everywhere made his heart stop. They also had to talk about those stupid papers? Does Cora want to get back together permanently? Does she want to live with him again? She told him she loved him and he believed that. People who love each other as much as they do can't ever stop loving the other. He wanted her; he wanted to be with her. He didn't want to waste one second but there was so much building up to this moment that climbing back down the ladder seemed like a long way to go.

He wore his pajamas again and exited the room to find Cora working in the kitchen. She was pouring a cup of coffee in a yellow sweater shirt and dark blue jeans. He looked at her and wondered if last night had been a dream but when she looked up and smiled at him all his doubts faded. He smiled back and moved towards her. She flipped the egg on her plate as he reached her.

"Good morning" he said over the counter and she looked at him and replied "Morning" as their mouths met halfway and they kissed over the counter. Cora blushed a little and Robert smiled at her, she always looked so adorable when she blushed.

"Just in time, here's your breakfast" she handed him a plate of eggs and a cup of coffee.

He chuckled "Are these the same ones"

"Yes" Cora grinned and he laughed.

"Thank you" He took a bite and gave her thumbs up.

She poured herself a cup and he asked "Aren't you joining me?"

"Oh, sorry I already ate. I woke up really hungry" she moved to sit with him on the seat next to his.

"Hm, I wonder why" he chuckled and Cora slapped his arm as she tried to hide her grin.

"I woke up a few hours ago" she said as she sipped her coffee.

"Oh you should have waked me up" he replied taking another bite.

"You looked far too peaceful, I didn't have the heart to do so" she smiled as he smiled back.

"So, any plans for today?" he asked and Cora thought about her fake meeting and coughed. "Actually, no. What about you?"

"Well, I do but somebody doesn't allow me to go to the office"

Cora smirked at him and he chuckled, "Nor will she"

"I might go for a walk later"

"Oh, should I come? If you're okay with it" she asked.

"Of course"

"Alright, ready when you are mister"

"Let's leave in half an hour"

She nodded as she finished her coffee "Then maybe, we can talk" she said biting her lip.

He took her hand on the counter and nodded "Yes, let's do that"

She stood up, her hand still in his "Alright, I'll just load our clothes from last night to the machine, then we can leave"

"I can do mine"

Cora was about to say something but he just put his hands in the air "Alright, alright"

She smiled and kissed his cheek before going towards the laundry.

* * *

Half an hour later, they both exited the house hand in hand towards the park next to the jogging track. When they left the house they saw Mrs. Hughes in her garden and they both chuckled at her confused face when she saw them walking hand in hand.

"I bet she guessed it" Cora said as they strolled onwards.

"She is very quick, I bet she saw this coming" Robert added.

They walked in the park a good 15 minutes, silently when they reached a wires trailing that viewed a pond with swans. They stopped to look at it when Robert finally started talking.

"So?" he asked as Cora stared at the swans.

Cora finally looked at him and took a deep breath "Well, can I start?" as Robert nodded she spoke again "I want to apologize for what I have done, for dragging you into this mess, for sending you away from us," Robert started to disagree but she stopped him "No, Robert, please. Let me. No matter what you say, I know at some level I am responsible and I need your forgiveness for dragging you here and for this.." she put a hand on his stomach "No matter what you say..I need you to know how sorry I am. How much I hate myself for doing this to you. You don't deserve this" she said as her voice broke.

Robert took her hands and held them to his chest "I don't blame you for this and even if I did, I have forgiven you. That's not what I needed to talk about. I need to know what happened and what now"

Cora sighed and nodded and Robert squeezed her hands to reassure her "So um, the ring. How did you know about that?" she asked.

"One of my friends saw Simon giving you that ring and then I saw the pictures of your opening" He didn't feel right to take Bates' name.

"Oh, right" Cora could punch herself. So she told him about how he forced her to take it calling it a 'promise ring' and that she declined it again and again and forced her and the next day how she rushed out so she unconsciously wore it.

Cora could see Robert's anger bursting at how Simon forced her. "How dare he? Who forces a ring?" he spoke to himself. "And you aren't even divorced from me fully!"

"I don't want to!" she quickly added.

Robert just stared at her and she took a few steps towards him, "I don't know what your plan is, I don't even know if you'll have me. If you don't, I can understand because really, I would deserve it" she looked at his chin, every word she said was killing her. "But I didn't want to regret later that I didn't try when I should have. I don't know what the future holds, Robert" she looked at him "but I know that I want it to be with you. With my husband, my soul mate and my best friend"

Robert felt his heart melt at the confession "Cor.." he said and she looked up at him and he cupped her cheek "Just promise me you really mean it, that this is it. You and me together, for the rest of our lives. Just promise me you won't ever leave me again"

"I promise" she leaning into his touch.

"We never know what's coming of course but by the looks of it, I'd say we have a good chance" he smiled and she nodded.

"When do you want to go back and call it off?" Cora looked at the swans as he asked.

"Oh, whenever's fine"

Robert raised his eyebrows "But your seminars.."

Cora bit her tongue and looked at him "I, I have another confession" she looked back at the swans.

"Alright"

"Don't think of me as a stalker"

"Cora, you're my wife" he laughed.

"Yeah well. There was just this one, before I came to meet you. The rest was made up"

"What?" Robert's jaw dropped.

"Yes"

"Woah, um, walk me through it darling"

So she told him about how she saw his blood and then came to clean it up and that's when she realized that she still loves him and that she needed an excuse to stay so she'd dress up and roam around random places to pass time. Robert laughed at this but his heart melted when she said that she thought he'd die and she just realized that she is nothing without him.

Cora's eyes filled at recalling that night "Those few hours were the hardest few hours of my life. I actually thought I'd lose you and I..I just wanted to tell you once how much I loved you and I was so scared, Robert. I can't live without you. You're my life"

Robert felt his heart soar and he hugged her tightly. She clung to his back and breathed shakily. "You are my life. I was the biggest fool to cheat on you. I was so stupid"

Cora kissed his cheek "That's all in the past, baby. If you can forgive me doing what I did to you then obviously I would forgive you. All those mistakes just made us realize that we will just have to keep reminding each other how much we mean to the other. And talk, we need to stop keeping things bottled in" Cora spoke all this in the warmth of his arms as Robert rubbed her shoulders.

"Yes. I am sorry you had to see the blood. It must have been horrifying"

"It was..I still don't know how I survived the night"

Cora felt her phone beep and she looked up to see Simon's missed calls. She didn't pick up his calls the past three days because really there was already enough on her plate.

"Who is it?"

"Oh, um, Simon"

Robert wanted to roll his eyes but instead he just kissed her head. "Well anyways, so are we good, for now?" Cora asked.

Robert nodded "It'll take us a while to get back to where we were but we'll do it. We always do"

She nodded and smiled. "Give me a kiss"

Robert just smiled and leaned in to kiss her. She didn't care if the people around them watched, nor did her. They have had enough of what people may or may not think. He held her waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She cupped his cheeks as their kissing became more and more passionate.

"Robert..mm, baby.." she tried to speak in between all the kissing. "As much as I enjoy this, I think we would be far more comfortable at home"

He just pouted and she kissed his nose and murmured 'Donk' and laughed.

"Not, you too" he rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I wasn't the one calling myself that last night" Cora laughed as Robert grabbed her waist and tickled her "Robert, whaa, this isn't fair..Robert"

Robert laughed as he watched her squirm in his arms. When he stopped she slapped his arm "Way to take advantage off your sensitive situation. I couldn't even elbow you" Robert grinned and leaned forward.

"Well, today, my _Mrs. Donk_ , has been a very happy day. Let me live a little" he rubbed his nose against hers and then kissed it. "You make me so happy"

"Lucky, I like you, Robert. Or you'd be in trouble" Robert laughed at took out his phone to check the time and Cora snatched it away from him and opened his camera to take a selfie.

"Come on, Mr. Donk. Give me your best smile" She posed for a selfie and Robert encircled her waist. She put on the three second timer and just as it was about to click, Robert kissed her cheek instead and a beautiful shot of Cora surprised as she smiled came out with Robert happily kissing her as the sunshine shone on them. Today was definitely a good day.

* * *

They walked back to the house with full intention to finish what they started in the park.

"Robert hurry up, it's getting really chilly" she said rubbing her arms with her hands as Robert fiddled with the keys.

"Hold your horses"

Finally he opened it and Cora was about to say 'finally' when a voice from behind interrupted her.

"Hello Cora"

Robert and Cora both turned around to see the owner of the voice and both of their hearts landed in their stomach.

Simon.

* * *

 **Okay so, guys! Firstly sorry if there are any mistakes, I didn't proof read it and just wrote it and I am dying of sleep.**

 **Quick notes:  
1) I have never written a 'terrific fun' scene before. I tried my best, I literally have no experience and this was my first attempt so if it doesn't makes sense, I REALLY apologise for this crap. I just took inspiration from other fics and went with my gut.**

 **2) PLEASE REVIEW!**


	25. Chapter 25

***a bit intense chapter so there are some swear words used. Just warning beforehand, if someone's awkward with them. Enjoy!**

* * *

Another wave of cool air brushed past their faces and Cora blinked, hoping when she'd open her eyes again, what she saw would be an illusion.

It was not.

Simon stood a few steps away from her, grinning happily and a tad bit skeptically when his eyes landed momentarily on Robert. He quickly diverted his gaze and looked back at Cora.

"Simon" she breathed and his smile became broader. Cora quickly brushed her hair away from her face and glanced at Robert who looked just as shocked as her. He stood behind her awkwardly as he assessed Simon. Simon was dressed in a long burgundy coat which somehow made him look taller than he really was.

"Cora, oh babe!" Simon broke the silence and took two big steps and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. Simon was right in front of Robert, kissing _his_ wife's neck and Robert felt like breaking this jerk's nose but he controlled his anger and took a step back. He could kick his ass, very gladly, but Cora wouldn't appreciate it and he wasn't about take any risk when only they've found the thinnest common ground. He proceeded to kiss her on the lips and Robert diverted his eyes, clenching his fist in anger. He could see Core's stiff posture and he could very well imagine the look on her face and indeed it was the spitting image of his imagination when Simon finished kissing her.

She was red, embarrassed, confused and still figuring out what was going on. Meanwhile Simon totally ignored Robert's presence and kept grinning at Cora.

By the time he finished assaulting her face and neck with kisses, Cora reacted.

"What, what are you doing here?" Cora asked a little breathless and Robert knew it was not because of those stupid kisses.

"I have been worried sick!" Simon exclaimed. "Why didn't you pick up my calls?" he asked this time, a little seriously, throwing a harsh look at Robert.

"I-" she started and shivered as another rush of air passed by them. Robert had no desire for this idiot to step in his house, ever but Cora was definitely feeling the cold and after last night of her late night shenanigans in the rain, he wasn't about to take any risks.

"Cora" Robert interrupted "it's getting cold, you better come in" he said and Cora could only nod.

Robert looked at Simon and chewed his tongue, he gestured with his hand for him to step inside, too.

"Simon" he said.

"Robert" he replied.

When Simon entered and looked around the house, Cora's eyes immediately fell on the table with her picture on it and placed it upside down before Simon could see it. This was like a death trap, it was one awkward situation.

"You look better" Simon told Robert as he assessed him. Cora had only told Simon about his ulcer burst and not all the blood cleaning and definitely not what happened afterwards. She hadn't talk to him for over four days but she didn't expect him to just come to Germany. She was not ready for another drama.

"Yeah" Robert nodded "Cora has been a great help"

Simon raised one of his brows "Huh. Has she?" he replied.

Cora just stood there looking at them as a lump formed in her throat.

"I'll be inside" Robert said and went to his bedroom. He didn't want to leave her but he guessed that they both needed a moment to talk. Talk about what and more importantly how, he didn't know but oh, well. It was really weird. It hadn't been over twelve hours that they've somewhat broken the ice and now this. He didn't really know how to react to this situation other than being extremely annoyed. And he figured neither did Cora. She was scared and confused, he knew. The smile that made through her face only a few minutes ago was gone and he hated that. He hated _him_. He could just kick his ass or punch his face but he can't do that. He absolutely cannot risk anything or jump to conclusions or lose temper. Cora had helped him so much when he was down, she became the strong one and now it was his turn to be the strong one, to be mature and realistic about this very awkward situation. He closed the door and rested his head against it with a sigh. This could go anywhere.

Outside Cora saw Robert close his bedroom door. She was glad in a way that he left, he didn't deserve to see Simon kissing every inch of her but she also kind of panicked because she needed support, not that Robert could just hold his hand but just subconsciously knowing that he was there would have helped. But anyhow, it was better if he wasn't.

"Where have you been? You scared me!" Simon said and Cora was forced to look at him.

"Simon, god, you came all the way here to ask me where I was?" she questioned.

He nodded "You weren't picking up my calls, of course I was worried"

"I was busy and what about your university , aren't the exams really near?"

"I told my TA to cover up, but forget that, you're ignoring my questions, why didn't you pick up?"

Yeah, yeah she really was ignoring.

Cora sighed "It's been a couple of long days, Simon, I had work and this." She gestured "The nurse is on a break so I had to help and-"

"What, he's treating you like a maid, now?" Simon rolled his eyes.

"What? No, no, of course not. She had an emergency.."

"What, was there no other nurse available to tend to Lord Robert Crawley?"

Cora resisted the urge to say something really nasty to him; she took a breath "I offered to help"

Simon huffed and back inside the room Robert wanted to break that door off its hinges and throw it on his face.

"You are far too nice, Cora. He just likes-"

"You are forgetting where you are standing, Simon!" Cora spoke through her clenched teeth. She would not hear one word against Robert, she never had, nor will she. No one had the right and especially not him.

Simon realized that he was being loud so he coughed and spoke in a lighter tone "I am just saying, you didn't have to do this"

"I think I did!" Cora cut through.

"That's just the philanthropist side in you-"

"Philanthropist?! Simon, he has been my husband for three decades! He was this close to dying" she gestured with her thumb and her index finger "how could I leave him, when he was here alone?" Cora fought back her tears; the image of Robert in the hospital, looking so small and tired would haunt her forever. "Wouldn't you do the same? If it had been your own wife?"

Simon then stopped talking. He would say that no, he wouldn't, or maybe not on this level but he wouldn't argue now. He's coax her out of this bizarre and very dangerous situation. One step at a time.

"Alright, alright. He seems healthy now, though"

Cora only nodded, fighting her emotions that were ready to burst through. "Yeah" she said softly.

"Then, should we go or.." he added but immediately stopped when Cora's death stare shot up at him.

"Simon" she gestured with her hands to make sure message passed through "He needs my help, I will give it to him"

"Cora, really Mary could do it, or ask Rosamund, this is all very cautious and-"

"Simon" Cora huffed out loudly, really trying to keep her anger in control "I said _I_ will do it."

Simon sighed. Cora had always been stubborn, oh yes she has been. He would handle her with his own ways.

"Where are you staying?" she asked.

"There's a hotel on the west side, I booked a room there"

Cora nodded "You should go back, Simon."

This time he lost it.

"Damn it, Cora! I came all the way here, leaving everything behind to see if my girlfriend is alright and in two minutes time you shut me out"

"Simon, I didn't ask you to come here! I was going to call you tonight, if only you had some patience."

"Oh" Simon laughed out rather angrily "Oh, I have plenty of that, Cora" he took a step forward and spoke directly on her face. He was taller and looked intimidating "I have been waiting for two years. I _have_ patience" Cora gulped.

All Cora wanted that moment was to rush back to Robert and make him hold her. Everything was just falling apart and she didn't really know how to handle it.

Inside Robert closed his eyes, he knew Cora was having trouble keeping it together. Really, that man could not be more unbearable. So he thought to rescue her. He took out his phone, dialed a number and waited for the ring.

Outside the room, the telephone rang and Cora sighed gladly. She felt bad, ashamed and scared. It felt like she does one right thing and two things go wrong. One step forward, two step backwards.

Robert knew what Simon was doing, he was playing the emotional blackmail card and he wouldn't let him make Cora feel so bad about herself.

Cora answered the phone "Hello?" she said and heard back a sigh. A soft sigh that she had heard numerous times. A sigh which she had felt on her neck and cheek and hair.

 _Robert._

"Yeah, he's here. I'll just get him on the line" Cora faked a conversation and then waited for Simon to make his next move.

After a few seconds, Simon spoke "I'll go now." He said as he kissed her cheek and Cora became stiff again.

She nodded and pretended that the call was still on hold.

"Can we meet for lunch tomorrow?" Simon asked.

"Oh, Robert has his appointment and-"

"Dinner then?" Simon cut her, he really wasn't interested in hearing her plans.

Dinner was worse than a lunch but she'd have to come clean sometime. Sooner rather than later. Cora nodded and Simon walked towards the door. Cora sighed in relief very quietly when Simon turned around holding the doorknob.

"By the way, your divorce papers came a few days ago. I brought them here with me, in case you needed them" Simon said and took his leave.

Cora felt a kick in her stomach as she heard him close the door and walk away. He brought the divorce papers, oh God. Everything was just happening too quickly and Cora felt a rush of anxiety, she felt a shiver run up her spine. She had no idea what she was going to now and how. Everything she did nowadays ended up in a disaster. She made Simon shut up about this now but it won't be long before he loses it. He had never been very angry with her but she could see signs that indicated that. Cora ran a hand through her hair and put the phone down. She wasn't prepared for what was to come.

* * *

Cora entered the room and saw Robert sitting on his bed with his elbows on his knees staring at nowhere. When he saw her enter, he stood up immediately. He had a billion questions, she knew he had a billion questions. She had a billion answers but she wasn't ready, she needed a moment and Robert knew that. Cora stood near the door looking at the floor, her shoulders drooped. His heart ached; she looked so sad, exhausted and scared. He would be the man she deserved now. He promised himself that and he would fulfill it.

There were so many things to discuss and clear out but now was not the time. Robert took steps towards her and took her chin in his hand. He looked into her bright blue sad eyes and very gently caressed her cheek. She closed in her eyes at the gesture and wrapped her arms around his waist. He hugged her back and placed his large hands on her small back and softly rubbed them up and down. He heard Cora sigh and hold him tighter and he placed his lips on her head. Not kissing it, just placed them there, taking a whiff of her shampoo. He kept holding her for a few good minutes, doing comforting gestures to let her know that he is there for her. After ten minutes of hugging her, he dare asked.

"Can I do anything to help?" he whispered softly.

At first she didn't reply and Robert didn't ask twice but then she looked at him while hugging him. Her frame so small and perfect next to him.

"Lay down with me please" Robert looked back at her and nodded. He guided her back to the bed and helped her remove her shoes as she got rid of her sweater. He spread the blanket so that she could lie down in it and then joined her in bed. She rested her head on his arm, facing him and wrapped her arms around his waist and Robert covered her completely with his two arms, holding her head now rested in the crock of his neck. She sighed as Robert continued massaging her back lovingly.

"I am not hurting you, am I?" Cora asked immediately becoming conscious of his wound.

He wanted to ask if he was hurting her but he knew that she meant that in a physical way. "No" he simple replied and kissed her cheek before a comfortable silence overtook them.

* * *

Simon entered his hotel room feeling rather angry. No wait, he was furious. He couldn't believe how stupid Cora was being. Robert Crawley was fine, he was a picture of health, and he didn't need her. He could get all the nurses in Berlin if he wanted, that filthy rich royal. But no, he emotionally forced Cora to stay with him. He knew it and Cora was stupid enough to fall for his traps. He hated the man; he could have five more ulcers if that's what it took to keep him away from _his_ Cora. Simon had had enough of it. He was stuck with him, he had tried, god, he had tried to get rid of him, to wipe him away from Cora's life but he had failed so many times. Simon was a great partner for Cora, he showered her with gifts, talked to her, kept up with her nauseous schedule, gave her everything and somehow she was still doubtful. Why was she doubtful, he had no idea? Robert was a barrier, he knew. He was the _only_ major barrier. Cora's daughters were all busy in their lives, they wouldn't mind if he and Cora got married, in fact Simon thought they even liked him but Robert..uh..that Robert hated him and he hated him more.

Simon wasn't stupid, he knew something was fishy, it was obvious by the looks of it but he had to act before something _wrong_ happened. Cora was a sweetheart but she was also stupid, she was living with him and Simon did not trust Robert. If he even _tried_ to take her away from him, he would kill the man. Cora was his, they were perfect together.

Simon was so happy when Robert moved away to Berlin; he thought this was his chance to finally have Cora's heart and soul to himself. He had her body but some part of her heart was still soft on that Mister. _I Own The World._ And then Cora filed for a divorce and Simon was ready to dance a jig. He was so happy and he took his chance, he proposed to her but she resisted. But he expected that, Cora was one over complicated, stubborn woman. So he fooled her into thinking that this was a promise ring. He had hoped that someone would see them that's why he took her to a crowded place but he wasn't sure if someone _important_ did. Anyways, he'll make sure that Robert finds out if he hasn't already.

He helped her with her career, loved and supported her when she was most vulnerable, went to a gazillion family gatherings just to make her happy but she was selfish, she was never fully satisfied because some part of her was always conscious of what Mr. Crawley would feel. Screw him! He just hated the man. He knew Cora loved him, of course she did, they were so great together but she was a woman who had spent so much of her time living with a cheating robot. Simon tried his best to make the transition easier and the divorce was a sign of his hard work. Cora definitely saw a future with him which is why she filed for a divorce. She said all that crap about how this isn't about them and how it was just about her but he didn't buy it, of course he made sure that Cora believed his agreement but he knew deep inside she was just doing that 'play hard to get' thing. Women, huh!

When the divorce papers came in, he took the chance and rushed to Berlin. Sorting out his insane schedule was a pain in the ass but he had to do it. Cora living with Robert was not good at all. Simon didn't trust the man, he hated him. He had a bad feeling about it and he warned Cora but she didn't listen because she was stupid. She had the most brilliant brain when it came to art and history but boy she was an easy target with men like Robert. And then Cora didn't pick his calls, he called, left messaged hundred times but no, she didn't answer. He was furious so he rushed to Berlin.

And then, the moment he sees her, she tells him to go away. He felt like slapping her, he wouldn't of course, but he felt like it. It was worse than he had predicted, Robert was taking advantage of her innocence, brainwashing her. That asshole! He would sort it all out; he would take his Cora back. He would make sure he sign the papers and get the fuck out of their lives.

He just had to burst his damn ulcer then. Of course he would though; he drank so much and was overweight. He didn't look good at all next to Cora. Cora was pretty, so precious, her figure was gorgeous and Robert the potato next to her didn't look good. Not at all. He was handsome though but he wasn't as handsome as he was. He was a little taller too and most of all he treated Cora better, he made her happy, he was all things she wanted and it annoyed him that some part of her was _still_ confused. I mean for the love of god, no one can be more complex.

He was doubtful at first but he had a few doctor friends in Germany and he got it checked that Mister. Robert Crawley had indeed burst an ulcer, that stupid man.

He had waited, he had given her time, hell he had given him time, he was being generous and patient and now his patience was being tested. He had played enough of Cora's game and this time he would make sure that he gets her for real. He'd like to see Robert let him go.

Simon sat down on a chair and clucked down a glass of whiskey and ordered himself dinner. Tomorrow he'll woo her and then get down to business.

* * *

A few hours later, on the other side of the town Robert opened his eyes to the most beautiful view.

 _Cora._

It had been years since he saw Cora sleeping and watching her like this after such a long time thrilled his heart. He was fascinated by Cora when she was asleep. Many times, back in the happy days, Cora would wake up to find Robert staring at her and she would burst into laughter. She didn't understand his fascination and nor could Robert explain. It was just beautiful and raw and his to see. It was precious and looking at Cora so calm and happy made him happy. But his favorite part was when she would start to wake up, slowly and gradually she would open her eyes, in two to three blinks and her sleepy blue eyes would get used to the light. And then as soon as her vision became clearer she would smile at him and blurt a groggy 'Morning, Robert' or "Good morning creep" to make him laugh. Then she would smile and Robert would know that the day was going to be a good one. It was such a sight and Robert couldn't get enough of it. But today he won't wake her up. Today was already intense. It was almost dinner time and Robert realized that they both fell asleep holding each other.

He sighed as he looked at her sleeping form. Robert thought back to the four years they had spent apart and realized how unhappy they both have been. When he was going to Berlin, Cora told him how she was sorry and had made his life miserable, and then he came here and couldn't cope up the way he should have and burst his ulcer. Cora once again was the victim of guilt and apologized to him repeatedly. He realized now how Cora had been self-destructing herself just as he had been doing. Robert took means of alcohol and nicotine while Cora destructed herself with emotions. By keeping in the guilt and the fighting the pressure on her shoulders. He just realized how it wasn't just him she was dealing with, it was Simon too. Although he didn't say much to her but Simon forced her, emotionally blackmailed and then he was sure she took advice of either Rosamund or one of their girls too, it must have been lot of pressure. Robert knew it wasn't easy for her either but god, he just realized how hard it has been for her and even then, she just focused on him when he was going or when she came here. She looked after him, asked him if he was okay. Little did he know that this wasn't the only battle she was fighting. Robert knew Cora kept things hidden just because she didn't want other to be bothered by her concerns, but she kept things bottled in for too long. She had so much to deal with and Robert knew that she blamed herself for everything, she blamed herself for being the one who pushed Robert to another woman. Robert knew that some part of her blamed herself for not being a good wife when infact the truth was that he wasn't being a very good husband. She blamed herself for making Robert's life miserable and family gatherings awkward when they were both at fault. She blamed herself for pushing the divorce, she blamed herself for 'ruining' his life and breaking Simon's heart. She blamed herself for playing with Simon all along even when Robert knew that that asshole would have jumped right on Cora even if she was happily married. She blamed herself for his ulcer and she blamed herself for this situation when the truth was that it wasn't just her. It was him too, it was Simon too, it was the situation too.

Robert knew Cora and now he put all the pieces into place. Cora had kept all this bottled in, never talking to anybody and now she had had enough of it. His heart ached and he wanted to wake her up and tell her that it isn't all her fault. But he knew Cora would never agree. Robert felt tears in his eyes and quickly brushed them away and placed a soft kiss on her temple. He would be there for her, he would applaud her for the woman she was and would tell her how lucky he is to have her. He will love her for the rest of his life and be the husband she deserved. Slowly untangling himself he got up and went to the kitchen.

* * *

"Cora" Cora felt a warm hand on her shoulder and stirred, her eyes unwilling to open.

"Cora, darling, it's almost dinner time" she heard it again and her eyes opened slowly. She tilted her neck to see Robert smiling down at her. "Hey sleepy head" he said and she smiled. Robert couldn't contain his joy.

"God, what time is it?" she asked trying to open her eyes.

"It's almost 8.30"

"What?" she jerked up and looked at the clock herself. "God, I slept for four hours" she said rubbing her eyes and yawning.

Robert chuckled and sat down with her. "Yeah, you had a big day" and Cora sighed realizing it hadn't been a dream. Robert saw her expressions change to worry. "And.." he coughed "a big night last night too, if I must say" he chuckled and she looked up at him with a blush.

"Robert" she lightly slapped his shoulder, making him grin. She stretched her arms a little. "When did you wake up?" she asked.

"About an hour ago"

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"I didn't have the heart for it" he said what Cora told him that very morning and she smiled.

She stroked his cheek and he held it there and kissed her knuckles. "I made dinner, come on"

"Oh, Robert you shouldn't have-"

"I am fine now" he assured her by taking both of her hands. "I promise" she squeezed his hands back in a way of agreeing. "Thank you"

She got up the bed and look for her shoes "And besides it's just spaghetti so you may not thank me later"

Cora chuckled "I am sure it's just fine"

They ate their dinner in silence, avoiding the topic and talking about Robert's furniture and cutlery. By the time they finished dinner, it was almost 10pm and Robert knowing that sleep would be a little hard to come, made two cups of tea and cuddled with Cora on the sofa.

Cora took a sip and rested her head against Robert's shoulder. She felt cold so she wore Robert's hoodie which could fit two Cora's in it but it was soft and she liked the smell.

She took some more sips when she finally spoke "Simon asked me for dinner tomorrow"

Robert nodded looking at her " I heard"

She warmed her hands on the steaming mug "I don't think I can avoid it"

"I know" he said giving her shoulder a squeeze.

"I don't know how to say it" she said putting her mug down on the table, sitting up and looking directly at him.

Robert mimicked her actions "I was thinking about it. Do you know _what_ to say?" he asked and Cora looked at him with a hint of tears in her eyes.

She sucked her bottom lip and replied "I think so"

"Darling, look at me" so she did. He squeezed her hands. "I need you to be sure. He'll ask you what you want and what's your plan, you need to have an answer. I don't want you to rush or anything but just for-"

"I know" she cut him off.

"What?" he replied.

Cora got a little closer "I know, what I want" she replied looking into his eyes.

Robert sighed and looked at her knuckles. "Would you..would you tell me?"

Cora put her hands on his chest and looked at him "I want to tell him that I can't be with him anymore because I was a stupid fool that I thought I had a chance of living happily without the person who is my everything. And whose everything is me. I filed for a divorce because I thought it'll make my husband happy and set him free and set me free of all the pain and guilt but it didn't. It made it worse and I cannot explain how sorry I am for that." She gripped his hands tighter and he squeezed them to encourage her. He wanted to say it wasn't her fault but now was not the moment.

"I want to tell him that I am sorry I wasted his time, money and energy but he was just what I needed when I needed him. I want to tell him that I don't want a divorce and I want to get back with husband and live with him as his wife"

Robert's heart soared at her elaboration and he moved forward and kissed her lips. Cora cupped his cheeks and Robert took a hold of her waist and tangled his other hand in her soft hair. They kissed for some minutes, the passion of that kiss slowly turning into soft repeated kisses. He kissed her nose and forehead and cupped her face and brushed away her tears.

"I love you" he said and Cora leaned into his hand "I know you can do this and I want you to know that I'll be there with you on every step, every obstacle. I know it'll be hard and messy but I am here for you and I will kick his stupid ass if he crosses any line"

He kept looking into her eyes and Cora nodded. Their noses were touching and Cora could feel his breath on her mouth. He caressed her face as he talked more.

"And Cor, I want to apologize too, I didn't realize how horrible it was for you too. All of it. I know you don't talk about it, but I know you. You kept it all hidden but I can see through you. Just know that all this, all of it" he took her hands "It's not just your fault so stop blaming yourself"

Cora was about to speak up but he put a finger on her mouth "No, let me speak. It was me as much as it was you, it was _our_ stupidity, it was the situation, it was everything. Everything had a part to play. I cheated on you because I was an idiot. I should have been proud of the woman you were becoming. But I was being selfish and I am sorry"

He could see Cora's eyes welling up. "But I am now, I am so proud of you. You are such an incredible woman and I am lucky enough to have you. I just wanted you to know that"

Cora wiped away her tears and smiled at him "Thank you" she replied "your approval makes it so much sweeter"

Robert kissed her knuckles once again and she smiled. "Do you want me to come with you tomorrow?" he asked.

Cora shook her head "No, no, I have to do this alone. He won't take nicely but it's just something I have to deal with"

" _We_ have to deal with" Robert added and Cora smiled.

"Yes, we"

"Do you want me to drive you there though?"

Cora smirked "You're not driving anywhere"

Robert pouted remembering his surgery "Oh"

Cora was about to get up when Robert spoke "Oh, one last question?"

"Robert, I said, I can do it alone. I am a big girl"

"No not that" he said as he knitted his brows.

"Oh" she sat back down.

Robert took her hand and got down on one knee. Cora giggled.

"I was, just wondering if you'll like to continue being my wife, just asking" he said holding her left hand.

Cora giggled again at how adorable he was being to cheer her up.

"Hm, let's see" Cora played along "Will he let me go alone tomorrow?"

"Yeah, alright" he said defeated.

"Will he stop taking more than half the space on the bed?"

"He'll try" Robert grinned.

"Will he..umm" Cora was being so adorable "Will he let me drive his 1940's blah blah something red car?"

"The 1941 Cadillac Convertible Coupe?!" he replied surprised "Cora.."

But Cora raised her brows. "Oh, alright" he said "Anything else?"

"One last thing" she replied.

"Okay"

"Will he promise to love and stay with me till his last breath?"

Robert sighed and walked on his knees nearer her "Till his very last breath and as far as he is concerned, not after that"

Cora smiled as a lump formed in her throat "Then yes, I would like to continue being his wife. Forever"

Robert grinned and got up to kiss her lips. Cora cupped his neck and he softly swirled his thumb on her neck. He kissed her lips and his tongue asked for entrance which she gladly gave. Their tongues danced a hot rhythm as they moaned together. Cora ran her finger in his hair and Robert kissed her harder. He pushed her back on the couch and settled on top of her. He kissed her jawline up to her ear and sucked on her earlobe. He kissed her neck and throat and back up to her lips. He brushed his nose against her as Cora unbuttoned his shirt, both ready to show each other just how much they meant what they said.

* * *

Cora entered a restaurant Simon had chosen and looked up to see him holding a bouquet of tulips for her. Cora was so nervous and now she contemplated whether if it had been a good idea if Robert had joined her. She was scared, she knew what she wanted but god, how will she convey her message she had no idea. Simon greeted her at the door and kissed her hard on the lips.

"Darling!" he said and kissed her again "God, I miss you". Cora felt dirty and embarrassed but managed a smile.

"Hi" she replied "let's go"

They ate at a restaurant and talked about random things. Simon was showering her with love and affection; he kept kissing her hand and held it throughout the dinner. Cora felt so nervous that she couldn't digest her food.

"How is the preparation of your students going?" she asked taking a mouthful of her chocolate mousse.

"I tried my best; I gave my TA some test papers for them to practice. It was insane managing some time for myself though"

"You know, you didn't have to come" Cora started.

"I did" he said taking her hand again "I worry for you my love and I didn't want you to be alone"

"I wasn't"

Simon shot up a glance and Cora swallowed a lump "I mean, it wasn't like I was living with strangers, it was Robert, Simon" she said putting a strand of hair behind her ear.

"That's why I was more scared." He rolled his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Cora knitted her brows.

Simon folded his hands on the table and sighed "He is not here now so can I be honest?" Cora only looked at him, knowing that she wouldn't like what he was about to say.

"Darling, you're a sweetheart. You only see good in people. I saw him yesterday and I may not be a doctor but anyone can tell that he was good enough to be on his own now. You don't owe him anything, why are you wasting your time on him?"

Cora wanted to roll her eyes but she only gulped. "Simon, it may be but I want to"

"God Cora" he shook his head as if pitying her, this made her angry. "At least don't stay with him. People may get the wrong impression"

Cora raised her brows and mimicked him by folding her hand on the table "And what wrong impression may that be?"

Simon rolled his eyes again "That you both, you know.."

"That we are husband and wife and a wife is caring for her husband"

"Don't play silly with me, Cora. You know what I mean"

"No, I don't! If you care so much about what people say why didn't you say anything, when I, a married woman was living with you in sin?" Cora challenged him by raising her eyebrows.

"You were separated!"

"I was his wife and still am"

"Oh barely! One sign and you're free, why do you have to take responsibility of everything?"

"Yes, Simon. It is still one sign away" Cora was getting furious "You never know what may happen"

Simon looked at her angrily and spoke through his clenched teeth "What is that supposed to mean?"

Cora just looked at him with her raised brows hoping he would get the message. He didn't. "What the fuck does that mean, Cora?" he slammed the table and Cora shivered.

Everyone around them looked at them. They may not all know English but they all recognized swearing when they heard it. "Control your temper!" she shot him an angry glance "let's walk" she said and got out the restaurant.

Simon quickly paid the bill and followed her. They walked silently on a quiet street for a few minutes, both taking time to calm down. Cora bit her lips; she could really use Robert's inspiration right now. He believed in her, he told her she would do it and she will.

Simon clenched his fists, his fear was turning into reality, and Cora was stepping back. That was not in his god damn plan! He used the silence to get a grip of himself. He will sort it and he will sort that Robert Crawley right where he deserved!

"Look, babe. I am sorry" he said putting his hands on her shoulders. The street was quiet, the only voices that could be heard was of the faint traffic on the main street and music coming out of a bar a few streets ahead.

Cora looked at him as he continued with his apology. "I apologize, okay? I shouldn't have shouted at you in the restaurant, that was uncalled for. But, I know it's all a mess right now and you must be thinking whether you're making the right choice, I know. I know you. But darling.." he cupped her cheeks "Think of the pain you went through, think of how long it took you to reach this decision, do you want to go back living in that misery and confusion again. You took such a big step and I was proud of you, proud of us. You can't go back there; I can't see you that unhappy again"

Cora looked into his eyes as he talked to her, Robert was right, he'd use emotional blackmailing. Oh, men and their ways. A part of her told her that he was saying that genuinely but a part of her screamed that he was just being selfish and was trying to coax her into going with him again. Which wasn't going to happen because Cora had made her decision and she was sure of it more than anything else. She had decided, her heart had decided and she was damn well following it.

"Look, Simon. You're right; I am being double-minded. Living here gave me time to think about it and I don't want to rush into anything. I took a big step filing for a divorce and I thought it'll end the confusion but it hasn't, I need to be sure-"

"Did he convince you into this bullshit?" Simon spat back.

"What?" Cora looked at him surprised.

Simon laughed and took two steps forward; he looked as if he was ready to explode

He put his hands on his waist "I see what's going on. He wooed you into this crap, didn't he? Robert Crawley with his poor ulcer bursting and him telling you how lonely he feels and how much he needs you-"

"Simon-"

"No, no, I get it! He's forcing you emotionally, that son of a bitch!"

Cora lost it then, how dare he? "Simon, mind your language. That's my husband you're talking about!" she pointed a finger and glared at him.

"Not for long, princess. I will make sure he signs those damn papers!" he replied standing right in front of her, looking down as if making sure she knew who handles everything.

"You have no right to interfere, stop being an asshole!" she rolled her eyes in anger.

"I have every right!" he slapped his hand on a wall of some restaurant and shouted. "I have every damn right. He can't have you, I won't let him." He grabbed her arm harshly; she could feel his nails piercing her skin.

Cora was taken a back at his burst out but she quickly recovered herself, pushing him away. She felt shivers travel up her spine and even with all the cold, she felt sweat gathering on her brow, Simon had never been violent. "The world doesn't revolve around you, Simon. You can't make any decision. This is my life and if you want to talk you better behave in a decent way and stop being a fucking idiot!" she said holding her arm that he had held so harshly.

Simon took a deep breath and ran a hand in his hair, this was becoming harder to deal with than he had expected. "Alright, alright. Let's cool off, let's go have ice-cream or something"

"No" she replied.

"No?" Simon was taken aback "Come on, Cora, this is enough, quit being a bitch"

Simon had never called her anything vulgar and with every passing minute she saw his true self and god, she felt suffocated.

"I am not talking to you until you're in your right mind" she said as she hailed for a cab and ran towards it.

"This isn't a fucking movie, Cora!" Simon shouted back.

She turned around "And you don' have any fucking right to tell me how I should manage my life!" she shouted back and hopped into the taxi.

* * *

Robert was watching a game of cricket as he waited for Cora. As much as he loved cricket, he couldn't concentrate. If he was honest, he was scared for Cora. He didn't want her to deal with that cad alone but that's what she requested and he abided her. He tried to listen to the commentary when he heard the door open. He quickly turned the television off and stood up.

Cora entered her face red with the cold "Well?" he asked.

She stood where she stood for a minute and then moved towards him. Robert rubbed his hands up and down her arm.

"I thought I knew him" she said and Robert knitted his brows. Cora looked somewhere afar "I really thought I knew him" she said again.

"Darling, what are you talking about?" Robert asked.

Cora looked at him and chewed her bottom lip. "I tried, I managed as far as me rethinking of the divorce and he just lost it" Cora raised her brows, still shocked at what he did and said.

"Cora" Robert said cupping her face "What happened?"

She sighed, looking so tired and Robert wanted nothing more than to wrap her in a blanket but he really needed to hear how Simon _lost_ it. The silence was killing him.

"I told him that I am being double minded and he started shouting in the restaurant so I forced him to walk out of it. Then, I said how it's my life and he just straight out shouted how you had no right and how you fooled me into this emotional mess and then I said that you aren't and then he called you stuff so I called him some stuff, and then he called me a bitch and grabbed by arm so harshly-"

"What?" Robert couldn't believe what he was hearing "He grabbed you? Did he hurt you?" He was so furious right now he could beat that carrot into a pulp.

"Yeah, my arm" she said, looking disturbed. Robert rolled up her sleeves and saw faint marks of his sharp nails. Robert wanted to kill him!

"Oh my God, that son of a bitch!"

Cora could laugh at the coincidence but in truth, Simon deserved it and she really wasn't in the mood for a giggle.

"Yes, so I told him he had no right to decide and he said he'll kill you-"

"Yeah, after I am done with him!" Robert shouted.

"Robert, please-" she put a hand on her forehead. She sighed, she was done for today. "I can't deal with more of this today." She said sucking her cheek. After a few minutes she said "He isn't a very nice man" she spoke to herself.

"Yeah" Robert rolled his eyes but then saw the disturbed look on his face but Cora had ignored it.

"I really never took him as violent and this angry. It feels like everything I believe to be true turns out false"

Robert sighed and took her in his arms and kissed her head. He was furious, how dare Simon, that carrot, touched Cora in such a manner, he could kill him, he would punch his stupid face and wipe off that smirk from his face. But Cora needed him now and he promised himself to be there for her.

He hugged her for a few minutes "Do you want anything? Should I make you coffee?" he asked and she shook her head.

Robert then felt her soft lips on his shoulder, then a sigh on his neck, followed by a kiss. She gripped his back and tasted his neck then kissed his throat, his jaw, attacking his neck with hot, sloppy kisses.

"Cora" he said but she stood on her toes and sucked his earlobe, wrapping her arms around his neck. She buried her fingers in his hair and kissed his mouth, forcing him to stop talking. She dipped her tongue in his mouth for a slow passionate kiss and only left his mouth when they both needed air.

She again started kissing his face and Robert gripped her waist tighter, closing the gap between their bodies.

"Cora, darling..mmhh" she kissed him again and Robert was finding it really hard to keep a control of himself.

"Cora, are you sure, you have had a rough day" he managed between her kisses.

She gripped his jacket from the front and looked into his eyes "Yes. I want this. Today has been long and crappy; I need it to end well. I need to know that not all things I believe to be true are false. I need you to tell me that." She rested her forehead against his, breathing on his mouth "I need you to love me, Robert. I want you to show me that I am yours and you are mine for all eternity" she spoke in a hoarse tone and Robert could only nod. Gripping her waist tighter, he crashed his mouth on hers and kissed her senseless. They muddled to the bedroom, with full intention to love each other.

Little did they know, a third was witnessing what took place in the lounge room.

* * *

 **Heyyy! This is the longest chapter I have ever written, it is almost 8k. A bit of swearing was necessary so I apologise if someone's awkward with them. I know I took so long to update but I just finished my first university midterm exams last week and boy, were they hectic! :)**

 **I hope you all like this chapter and it took me over 7 hours to write this so I would appreciate reviews and would love to know your favourite parts in it. A writer's biggest treasure is his or her readers so I'll be glad to know what you think. I really hope you enjoyed it and I am looking forward for the reviews. Happy weekend!**


	26. Chapter 26

Mrs. Hughes followed Mr. Carson outside her front door. They had a lovely dinner together and she could see a ting of blush on Mr. Carson's face. She didn't know how it happened really, they were of course good friends now and a day before they just randomly conversed over the phone and the next second she invited him over dinner and he accepted and when she put her phone down, only then she realized that it was like a date. Not like, actually a date! The thought sent shivers up her spine; she hadn't dated anyone in years. Not because she couldn't, of course she could, she was ageing very nicely but because she was always travelling and had learned to enjoy her own company that she never really paid much thought about having someone by her side for real but with Mr. Carson, it was somewhat different. They hit it off so well and immediately became friends. Even though they had very different personalities but somehow they connected and she liked that. And now they were having a date. They didn't put a label on it but it was quiet obvious. Surprisingly (or not) they had a lovely dinner; they laughed, they talked, they listened and everything just fit. Now he was leaving and Elsie herself couldn't hide her blush.

They stopped awkwardly outside her door when Carson adjusted his coat and spoke. "I had a lovely time" he smiled.

Elsie smiled back, "I had a great time too. It was nice to..to.."

Carson's eyebrows shot up "..to?"

Mrs. Hughes shook her head in embarrassment "To actually have a quality conversation with someone"

"Oh, I..yes, of course. Me, too" Silence took over the night again and they just stood; one fiddling with his buttons and the other chewing her lip.

"Oh, I forgot my handkerchief in your lounge room, I'll get it" Carson said as he went back inside the house.

Mrs. Hughes only chuckled and thought back to what a wonderful evening she had. They talked endlessly, shared experiences, even flirted. It was a nice change, a pleasant change and she couldn't stop smiling. She took a few steps forward to see check up on a patch of multi colored roses she planted a few days ago. She opened the gate to her tiny lawn outside her house when she spotted light coming from Robert's house. It was strange since Robert was either asleep by now or was out and in either case, the light was out. She squinted a bit to see if all was normal when her breath got caught in her throat at the view. She saw Cora and Robert kissing each other passionately in the lounge room. Then she saw Cora whisper something and then they kissed again. She was only about to give a reaction to this turn of events when Mr. Carson coughed behind her.

Upon seeing her wide eyes, he asked, "Are you well, Mrs. Hughes?"

"Oh, I am, I am" she grinned "And it looks like, someone else is too"

Carson furrowed his brows to which Mrs. Hughes chuckled and pointed at their neighbor's window. Carson followed her finger and as soon as he saw what his Boss and his wife were up to, his eyebrows reached the sky but he immediately coughed and looked away. Mrs. Hughes chuckled again as she saw the heated couple next door tumbling into the bedroom.

"Oh, I knew something was up. I saw them walking in the street holding hands just yesterday. I didn't want to think too much into it but I knew I wasn't wrong in assuming" she smiled.

"Well, uh, I am sure they've thought this decision through" Carson added, still embarrassed.

"Or they realized that there was never really any other decision to make. These two are meant to be together" Mrs. Hughes added with a smile.

Carson's brows shot up in surprise "Never took you as a romantic kind"

"Wait and watch, Mr. Carson" she said with a smirk.

Carson laughed and then cautiously moved and placed a sweet kiss on her cheek. "Thank you for a lovely dinner and company"

Mrs. Hughes nodded as she saw Carson leave. It felt like sparks were ready to fly in their case as well.

* * *

Simon slammed the door of his hotel room. He wasn't used to this kind of a behavior. He was right, he was bloody right all along. That piece of royal shit had talked Cora into cancelling the divorce and that foolish girl easily accepted. Oh, he knew. He knew what he did. Poor Robert Crawley burst his ulcer, poor Robert Crawley gets lonely and pretends that he still loves Cora and poor Robert Crawley gets his wife back in his life and bed. He knew that man! He could talk and butter a person right out of a decision, there was a reason he was the CEO of such a big company, he knew how to talk. But he won't win this time. He won't.

The situation was worse than Simon had predicted. They lived together and now Cora was being all independent and double minded again. It took him two fucking years to make her come around to filling for a divorce, he won't let go that easily. He was pretty sure that something happened between the two and just the thought made his temper boil but he convinced himself into believing that it was just smooth talk and sad eyes till this point. He will have his Cora back but now he needed a plan. He needed a strategy, he needed an advantage. That rich idiot wanted a game, he'll play a game then, and this time, like all the other times, Simon will kick his ass out and now, for good. He may have to go to extremes and if that's how he wants to play it, so he will. Simon wasn't used to losing and he won't, this time either. He punched his pillow and shut his eyes. All he needs is a plan.

* * *

 _3 days later.._

Julia walked on the footpath, yawning as she heard the morning birds chirp around her. She was tired and it was just too early for her to be going to a job but she knew that today she just had to. She had taken two days off from her patient and two turned into four. She knew that she won't hear the end of it for a long time from her manager at the hospital but really, she had no option. Her five years old daughter was sick and she was needed there. She took two days off in hope that she'll sort her needs and care in the time but she couldn't. Her daughter lived with Julia's mother out of town and as per policy; the hospital wasn't allowed to fund her daughter's recovery so she worked more and more to cover up the costs. She was truly exhausted and was stuck back home so she called her patient, or rather his wife to request for two more days. Thankfully, his wife, or ex-wife, whatever, was very nice and told her that it was alright. Julia was grateful but she knew that her manager won't let her live in peace, Julia was one of the best nurses in the hospital and some of the few who actually understood English thus she was asked to take care of a very 'special' patient. She agreed of course and the money was good but not enough to fully fund her daughter's medical expenses. She was denied more loans since she already had taken from the hospital and was not allowed to ask her current employers. She was stuck but all she needed now was to complete her time in Mr. Crawley's house so that she would be paid. There were still a few days left after which she'll be paid by the hospital.

She walked towards their house and thought back to the couple that resided in it. Their behavior was always awkward. They were very nice people and were always polite while talking to her but together they seemed like two awkward middle aged people who didn't know what they were doing in life. Her thought were interrupted by a honk of a car behind her. She turned around in annoyance when she saw the window of the car roll down. A middle aged man with a long face and dark hair stared at her. He didn't look German so Julia didn't know how to start a conversation.

"Are you Julia Schmidt?" the dark haired man asked.

"Yes. Why?"

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

Julia didn't like the attitude and as intriguing as the conversation was, she denied "No, I am busy" she walked on when she heard his voice again.

"Your daughter is ill, isn't she?" that made Julia's steps halt.

He drove a bit further so that he would be face to face with the woman. "I can help you. I can give you money if you help me"

Julia looked back at the man, he didn't look kind but he didn't look like a murderer, psycho or a rapist either.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Hop in. I'll tell you everything"

Julia thought for a few seconds and then agreed.

* * *

Robert woke up to the sunlight that shone brightly through the windows. He smiled as he rubbed his eyes. Sunlight, after days of rain and gloomy weather surely guaranteed a good day. It also meant that they could finally step out of the house. He and Cora both felt trapped and there wasn't much to entertain them inside the house; of course apart from few things which they had done to entertain themselves repeatedly. He blushed thinking back to the many racy encounters and moved to face Cora who slept next to him. He knew that she was still very upset about what happened with Simon at dinner the other day. Since then neither did Simon make contact nor did Cora mention him but he knew that she was still shocked at his behavior. Robert could of course expect something like this from a man like him because he hated the scoundrel but to Cora he was something different and her opinion was shattered by his violent behavior. So Robert tried his best to distract her when she felt upset. Robert distracted her through jokes, cuddles, movies, kisses, by cooking her food, by tickling her, sometimes by dancing with her (of course he couldn't jump and move on a rock song since his almost healed stitches prohibited him but he tried his best, and as he wanted it, it made Cora laugh so hard that she'd fall off the bed) He laughed as he thought back to the very next day after that stupid meeting with Simon when Cora was laying on their bed, in a gloom, Robert played 'Gangnum Style' on full volume and danced clumsily in front of her, making sure to add hilarious facial and body expressions to cheer her up and it did. Cora had a fit of laughter and it soothed his heart. She teared up looking at his performances and even whistled once or twice at his fantastic moves. Robert thought that he'd be ready to make a fool of himself (and give his mother a heart attack if she ever saw him doing this) anytime if it meant that Cora would laugh just as heartily. He had missed that. Robert smiled as he kissed Cora's hair softly. He took a whiff of her shampoo and remembered other physical ways of distractions he used. He of course distracted her by sex and he felt hot just thinking about what they did last night. He kissed her forehead again while caressing her arm so that she would wake up. She did after a few tries and looked up at him with sleepy eyes.

"Morning, creepy" she said as he chuckled.

"Good morning, beautiful" he said as he pulled her closer and nuzzled her neck. Cora sighed at his sweet nuzzles and kisses and closed her eyes again.

"Ow, you need to shave, mister" she said as she felt pricks of Robert's beard.

"I think I need to kiss you, missy" he said as he pulled her close and shook his head on her collarbone to tickle her with his little beard hair.

Cora laughed as she felt tickled "Stop it…Robert, it, it really tickles" He stopped after a few seconds and kissed her nose.

Cora tilted her head when Robert's mouth landed on her neck and he started kissing her. Upon seeing the sun, Cora exclaimed "Oh, the sun's out!" as she pushed Robert off of her.

She got off the bed and put on her robe, leaving Robert half hanging down the bed. "Yes, the sun is out, wow, because it never did before" Robert said in annoyance.

"Oh, Robert but it means that we can finally go out" she turned around.

Robert got back under the covers, "Oh, come back in the covers" he said offering her his hand.

"No, you come out of the bed" she said pushing the warm covers off him.

"Cora!"

"Robert we already overslept, come on now"

"Five more minutes" he said as he buried his face in her pillow.

Cora groaned "Lazy bum, get up now"

"Hey, remind me when we slept last night?" Robert smirked, changing the topic.

Cora smirked back "Late" she said folding her arms.

"And why late?" he asked as he stood on his knees on the bed, coming in height with Cora.

"Because we were busy" Cora said blushing as she fiddled with Robert's chest hair.

Robert circled Cora's waist tightly "And what were we busy in, Mrs. Crawley?" he asked wiggling his eyebrows.

Cora smirked "Stuff" she replied.

"What stuff?"

"Just stuff" she shrugged her shoulders.

"So, how about we busy ourselves in that stuff again?" he asked.

"Robert Crawley, you cheeky man, didn't you have enough last night?" she asked as Robert placed soft kisses on her left cheek and nibbled her earlobe.

Cora almost got lost in his delicious ministrations but pushed him back and cupped his face "Sir, we have a lunch due in few hours since we woke up past breakfast time, so we better hurry"

"Okay" he said as he kissed her mouth.

"No, haha, Robert" she pushed him again "Not hurry in that, darling, hurry in getting ready and I need to get a gift for her house as well"

"Oh, it's just Mrs. Hughes, us and Carson" he said leaping in again.

"Still darling, manners. Which you seem to have forgotten right now" she said as Robert started caressing her back and cupping her bottom.

She giggled and then replied "Okay, you know what? If you be a good boy and help me buy a gift for her right now.." she encircled his shoulders and whispered in his ear in soft tone and heavy breath "then we'll busy ourselves in as much 'stuff' as you like when we come back"

Robert grinned, "Deal!"

* * *

Cora and Robert sat on Mrs. Hughes dining table with Carson a few hours later as they all ate lunch. Cora passed smirks to Robert from across the table as she spotted the other couple blushing, Cora and Robert giggled to themselves looking at Carson and Mrs. Hughes; they truly were adorable and it reminded them on their young love days, they were smitten with each other and they still were but the magic and rush of the young love and crush is always such a precious time and seeing the other two floating happily in an innocent, sweet love bubble made them awe.

They all ate lunch and Robert commented on how much he had missed Mrs. Hughes' delicious hand cooked dishes since he hadn't been able to eat them off late. Lunch passed by in pleasant conversation and Mrs. Hughes was almost getting up to get coffee when Carson spoke.

"So, Sir you look well now. Any plans to join the company back for good?" he asked as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

Cora and Robert exchanged a look. To be honest, they hadn't talked about the future other than a unanimous decision of having one together. But it was more difficult than that; nobody knew till this point that they were together, there was still Simon and they had to decide things on financial ground too. Where will they live? Will it be Cora's house or Robert's house? Will Simon move out? What of the branch here; who will run this now? Bates obviously couldn't come. When should they call off the divorce? And to top it all what of all the legal requirements for that? There was still a lot undecided and they were really using this time to catch up on all the years wasted.

"Ah, yes, Carson. I don't know yet, we still have to plan a few things" he smiled and Carson understood. As if on cue Mrs. Hughes announced coffee and Robert and Carson sat at one end because they wanted to discuss some work things and Carson wanted to update him on how the things were running and Cora and Mrs. Hughes moved to the balcony to enjoy the sun while it lasted.

Cora sipped her coffee as she let the sun rays hit her face. Mrs. Hughes smiled at the view. She remembered the first time she saw her in person, how panicked she was, how scared. Her eyes were red and her skin was white as a sheet. She shivered, she cried, she screamed and almost a month later now she was glad to see the opposite of it. Now Cora smiled, her face glowed and eye shone.

"So how is everything with him?" Mrs. Hughes asked.

Cora looked at her "Good, yes"

"Seemed better than just good" Mrs. Hughes smirked and Cora blushed.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Let's just say I have sharp eyes and your windows are transparent" she replied and chuckled as Cora turned red.

"But really, does this mean you're back on?"

Cora nodded happily and shyly and Mrs. Hughes grinned "I am very happy for you both. I had hoped this would happen"

"You did?"

"Yes, I saw how he was before you came here. He was miserable, he was always tired and now.." they both looked through the window to see Robert talking happily with Carson "Now, I can see light in his life and you brought that."

Cora nodded and looked at Robert who looked back at her and they both exchanged a soft smile.

"And I saw you, too" Mrs. Hughes said taking Cora's hand "And I am seeing you now. And both versions are on opposite extremes"

Cora smiled "Yeah. I am just sad it took us four years to understand this"

"You still have a lot of time to make things right"

Cora nodded and Mrs. Hughes continued "Does this mean you'll both be moving back?

Cora sighed "Hopefully. I mean, yes, of course; at some point. A lot is still undecided. But forget about me, what about you and Carson?"

Mrs. Hughes coughed "What about us?"

"How are things in the love nest?" Cora asked smirking.

"What..what are you talking about?" she said turning pale.

"Nothing at all, Mrs. Hughes" they both looked back inside where she caught Carson staring at Mrs. Hughes "Nothing at all"

* * *

After lunch Cora and Robert both decided to take a walk in the park because the weather was pleasant. They both walked hand in hand, eating ice creams.

"How is yours?" Cora asked Robert as she took a bite of hers.

"It's good" he replied as he took a mouthful of his chocolate chip ice cream.

"Give me a bite?" Cora said as Robert brought his ice cream near her mouth so she could take one. She took one and immediately closed her eyes. "Oh, this is heaven, give me another"

"Okay" he replied as he watched Cora take another mouthful and then two more. He chuckled as they walked further.

"I want to try yours" Robert said as he took a bite of her fresh strawberry flavored ice cream. After a few minutes he asked for one again and Cora declined.

"What, why?"

"You don't even like strawberry ice cream" Cora said.

"What? I do, come on"

She skipped to one side "No, Robert, don't eat too much, you know why the ulcer burst"

Robert knew how childish Cora got when it came to sharing her desserts "You ate half of mine!" Robert chuckled.

"Oh, you exaggerate" Cora rolled her eyes.

"You're a cruel person"

Cora just stuck out her tongue and then grinned knowing that she won. Robert smiled at her; she was always so adorable when she felt like she won such a silly argument. He chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

"I love you, my weirdo"

Cora smiled and kissed the side of his mouth "I love you, too, darling but you're still not getting my ice cream"

Robert chuckled as Cora finished her ice cream and threw the wrapper in a dustbin. "Why were you staring when I was talking to Carson?" Robert asked.

"I was just admiring my handsome husband" Cora batted her eyelashes.

Robert nudged Cora's shoulder "Oh, charmer. But really, why? Mrs. Hughes was staring too"

Cora sighed and took his hand as they stopped near a tree. "I was just thinking about the future"

"Future?" he asked.

Cora nodded "What now? I mean we both know what but how and when?"

Cora didn't need to say more, Robert understood her. He took a breath and continued "We both know what we want but let's sort the mess one by one, okay?"

Cora nodded, listening. "Firstly, you need to call your lawyer to let him know of our decision. He can get into the paperwork while we tend to other things. Secondly, you need to deal with Simon"

Cora took a shaky breath at his mention and Robert cupped her face "Darling, don't be scared. We're in this together. It'll be difficult but it's not impossible. You're still my wife and he has no legal claims on you or any of your property"

"But, Robert you heard what he said, what if he.."

"He won't. And if he tried, the police won't leave him. We'll have him arrested. Don't worry about what he'll do, just think about how you want to talk to him, it's up to you and listen, I am here, okay?"

Cora nodded and Robert hugged her and rubbed her back up and down.

"And when do you want to tell everyone?" she asked.

"Not yet, let's deal with the business here first"

Cora nodded and Robert continued "I'll talk to Carson about my moving back to London"

* * *

They walked back to the house when they saw someone waiting outside their front gate. They neared it and Cora spoke.

"Excuse me?" the figure turned around "Oh, Nurse Julia, you're back"

A frightened Julia nodded her head "Yes, ma'am, I am so sorry for being late, it was most unprofessional of me"

"No worries" Robert added "As you can see, I am a lot better"

"Yes, Sir and I am very glad to see you recovering so well"

They stood awkwardly when Cora spoke "Let's all go in"

Robert spoke as they entered the house "Sister, if you want you can go now, I can manage on my own and I have help.."

"Oh" Julia said as she went white "I do apologize if it's because of me being late…"

"No, no not at all.." Robert was always bad at dealing with these things so he looked at Cora and so she spoke.

"What Mr. Crawley mean is that he's quite well now and your job will be redundant, you can go back home or to the hospital if it suits you"

Julia looked down and sighed "Would it be inconvenient if I work out my time? It's just that I won't be paid otherwise and.."

"Oh, no, no. Of course then, you may" Cora smiled.

"I'll make you both tea then" Julia nodded and headed towards the kitchen. She shut her eyes thinking that money was not a problem now, her job was something else. A rush of guilt passed by her but she shook it away. She needed the money she was offered.

* * *

By evening they both sat on their couch and had a Skype call with Rosamund. The kitchen was just behind them so Julia could see and hear everything.

"Oh, Robbie you look so much better" Rosamund said in happiness and Robert frowned at his silly nickname. Cora chuckled at his reaction.

"Cora, you've been looking after him, I can see that, otherwise God knows what shock I would have gotten if he was alone"

Robert rolled his eyes "Really, Ros, I am perfectly capable.." he stopped as he saw Cora raising her eyebrow at him. Who was he kidding; he would be a mess without her.

"Alright, alright" Robert raised his hands, "Yes, all credits to Cora"

Cora smiled "Thank you"

"So, Cora how are your seminars going?", Rosamund smirked knowing that the situation and the lack of awkwardness between them meant that something was fishy.

"Oh, um, they were good, yeah" Cora said fidgeting.

"Oh, so they're finished?" Rosamund asked further.

'Mmhmm" Cora mumbled as she tried to think the situation through.

Rosamund saw them both turn either red or white as she squinted "What is going on?"

"Well.." Robert spoke but was cut short.

"Ah! You both are back together, aren't you?!" Rosamund practically shouted.

"Ros.." Cora said.

"You two are back together, Oh my god!"

Rosamund stared at them covering her mouth. Cora and Robert shared a look and then chuckled.

Robert spoke intertwining his hand with Cora so that Rosamund could see "Yes, we are back together"

They grinned and Rosamund shouted in joy and after the fits of mixed reaction, they spotted tears in her eyes.

"Oh, Ros, are you okay?" Cora asked.

"Oh, I am fine, it's just…" Rosamund wiped away her tears "I am just so happy" she laughed and cried.

Cora and Robert laughed in response. It was an overwhelming situation for all three of them.

"Thank you, Rosamund" Robert said.

"Oh I just..I was always convinced this was never really over" Rosamund said.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Cora commented.

"Because it was obvious. You both are just… _donks_." Rosamund said.

Cora laughed "What, haha, we're not"

"You are, you are Mr and Mrs. Donk"

They all laughed and the echoes of their laughter made someone who was standing a few steps away, heart beat race. Julia calmed down and patted the heavy bag of cash in her pocket. She had to do this.

* * *

Later at night, as Julia packed up her things, she heard voices coming out of Mr. Crawley's bedroom.

Robert and Cora got distracted into 'stuff' and lost track of time and who was there and who wasn't. After another steamy session, Robert rolled over and kissed Cora's shoulder.

"Today has been a good day" Cora said, smiling.

"Yes, it was lovely. Everything slowly seems to fit right into place" Robert commented as Cora ran a hand up and down Robert's arm.

"Let's hope this keeps on happening" Cora said as Robert spotted a shadow of fear on her face.

"It will, Cor" Robert cupped her chin "We have waited and suffered long enough. Nothing can separate us now"

Cora smiled and blinked back the tears, pushing Robert's hair behind his ear "I don't want to spend a single day without you now."

"Careful, what you wish for" Robert laughed.

Cora laughed back "I mean it. All these years I had been wondering what if? I didn't want to risk anything because I feared that it'll move you further away from me. All these years the answer was right in front of me and I didn't see..I was so stupid"

"Cora, we both didn't know what we wanted." He intertwined his hand with hers "But we do now and we will fight for it together"

Cora nodded "I love you"

"And I love you" Robert kissed her mouth and moved on top of her.

"Woah, Lord Grantham, you are on fire today" Cora laughed as Robert leaned in for another steamy kiss. Cora buried her hand in his hair and moaned into his mouth.

Outside Julia exited the house and headed to complete her task.

* * *

Simon punched his fist on the small kidney table next to his bed. He was fuming! He had never been this angry in his whole life. He drowned in another big serving of scotch and smashed the glass against the wall.

"And are you sure, there is nothing left that you haven't told me?" Simon asked with bloodshot eyes.

He didn't think he could hear more of that crap, the information that he was given made him so angry that if Robert fucking Crawley was in front of him, he would squeeze his tiny little neck so hard that his eyes will pop out of their socket. He would kill the man! He would kill him. He slept with his Cora, he touched her and kissed her, he fucked her. _His_ Cora! They made plans; they made those goddamn plans about calling off the divorce. They made the decisions and he was left there thinking that Cora was working, that she was busy. She lied to him, she betrayed his trust. She made a fool of him and left him hanging while that Robert Crawley wooed her and made love to her. He would kill him!

Julia who stood still as a stick, wiped the perspiration off her forehead; "No, Sir, nothing. I have told you everything"

Simon nodded "And which room is hers again?" he asked.

"They, um, they sleep in one room.." Simon shot up a glare at her. "But all her things are in the first room on the left as you enter the house. Sh-she comes in to change and bathe there"

Simon stumbled and walked towards his bed and took out a heavy envelope from under his pillow. He then threw it towards Julia. "You know what to do, right?"

"Y-yes" Julia mumbled as Simon neared her.

"Am I clear?" Simon asked again.

Julia felt tears in her eyes as she nodded.

"Speak up! Am I fucking clear?"

"Yes, yes, you are" she spoke up.

Simon nodded as Julia made an exit. "Just remember to keep it open"

* * *

The next day, late at night, Cora lay on Robert's legs (mindful not to put her head on his stomach) as Robert swapped between TV channels. After a few minutes, Cora sighed.

"Just pick one already"

"Nothing good is on" Robert said in annoyance.

Cora chuckled "Then turn it off, baby, it's not an obligation to watch" Robert sighed and turned it off. He smiled looking down at her and ran a hand through her hair.

"Your hair is still so soft" he observed and Cora hummed. He then ran his fingers softly on her jaw and Cora opened her eyes to look at him.

"What?' she asked.

"You're beautiful" he said.

Cora snorted "Yeah" in sarcasm.

"You don't believe that?" Robert asked in shock.

"No… but, I am old now"

"So am I"

"It's different with women"

"How? And I have never seen any woman ageing as well as you"

"You're such a flirt" Cora chuckled.

Robert moved down to kiss her forehead. A comfortable silence took over them. And then Robert spoke "I'll call Carson tomorrow to talk things over"

Cora nodded "I left a message to my lawyer, he'll call me back when he sees it" Robert nodded back.

Cora adjusted herself on his legs more properly and spoke "We are really doing this?"

Robert chuckled dryly "You're happy? Aren't you?"

"What?" Cora furrowed her brow.

Robert sighed and looked at her with so much sincerity that Cora could cry "You're happy with me now, right? I make you happy…right?"

Cora cupped his face and brought it nearer hers "The only happiness I know is with you, Robert"

Robert smiled "I love you, so much"

Cora smiled and nuzzled his nose with hers "I sort of like you too" They both smiled and Cora pushed her body slightly up to kiss Robert. Robert eagerly joined his lips with hers and cupped her face. With this angle he had great access and he moaned into her mouth. He kissed her once again, more passionately this time when he felt Cora shiver. He broke the kiss.

"I think I left the window to the terrace open. I'll just go and shut it"

"Okay" she said getting off him "Hurry" she grinned and Robert gave her another big kiss.

"I'll be right back" he said as he took the stairs.

Cora looked at the time and headed towards her room to change into her pajamas. She opened the door to her room where her things were and noticed the window.

"Robert!" she shouted "Darling, the window is open here not the one of the terrace"

She wondered how it opened and headed towards to the switch board to turn on the light when someone tapped her shoulder. She turned around and screamed.

* * *

 **Hi, everyone! I am back after exactly two months! I didn't mean to take such a long break but sometime real life happens and needs to be dealt with, lol. This is a long chapter and I hope it makes it up to all your patience. I received so many messages to when I'll update, it honestly warms my heart to see so many people enjoying this story, I never expected such an overwhelming response. Thank you, all. 3**

 **Please let me know what you think of this chapter, PLEASE leave a review. And ah yes, cliffhangers. LOL, you know me so..**

 **And Happy New Year everyone. I updated in early December so I didn't get a chance to wish you all. And another funny thing, I posted the first chapter of this story in January 2016, it's been over a year now, wow. I am one lazy writer, haha.**


	27. Chapter 27

Cora's whole body froze, the only thing that came out was a piercingly loud scream, but not loud enough for Robert to hear it because 30 seconds later, she was still standing facing a trespasser who himself looked full of anger.

"Simon" she finally managed to say as she moved back two steps.

"Yes, it's me, Cora. Were you expecting someone else?" he replied in satire. "Since you're ready to give yourself away to anyone who says a nice thing or two to you"

Cora physically cringed "What the hell are you doing here?" she finally spoke with courage.

"Oh you.." Simon started but was cut short.

"What the hell do you think you're doing in, barging in this house, uninvited.."

"Oh, you bloody know what I am doing here!" Simon grabbed her by the arm harshly. His face was so close to hers that she could feel his hot breath and spits on her face. "I know what you did, Cora."

Cora's whole body shook, she felt claustrophobic and struggled to breathe as Simon kept shouting at her "I told you, I warned you but you didn't listen, he wooed you into his arms and you gave yourself away, acting like a whore.." Cora could feel tears gathering in her eyes. "I will not leave him alone, nor will I leave you. I will not spare him.." he clutched on her arm tighter and Cora was pretty sure her blood circulation stopped in her arm.

"Cora, the window on the terrace was locked.." Robert entered her room while scratching his head, wondering where the wind was coming from. He looked up and almost tumbled when he saw Simon in her room. He got confused at the first glance but it immediately became clear in the next as he saw Cora squished between Simon and a wall, close to tears and Simon painfully grabbing her arm and glaring at him. Simon eased his control on her and faced Robert.

Unlike Cora, all Robert felt was anger, pure anger. He hated the man, but he had never hated him as much as he hated him in this very second. Robert clutched his fist, barely containing himself. The veins on his forehead throbbed as the image of Cora being harassed by Simon flashed in front of his eyes. He held her so painfully that it was to his own good fortune that he eased his hold as soon as he entered otherwise he would be lying dead on the floor at the moment.

"What the hell do you think, you're doing?!" Robert shouted at him.

"What the hell do you think, _you're_ doing?! Simon shouted back. "What the hell do you think you're doing fucking my girlfriend?!"

Cora physically shivered behind Simon, her face white as a sheet, her eyes deprived of their usual color. All Robert really wanted to do was beat this man to a pulp but he had to control himself, for Cora's sake at least.

"Robert Crawley. The great Robert Crawley, you thought that you'll easily blackmail her emotionally and get her in bed with you, didn't you?"

Cora looked at him shocked. All these years, the one thing that she appreciated in Simon was that he gave her credit for having a brain but no, all he thinks is that she's stupid, incapable of making any right decisions. She wasn't having any of it so she vented.

"I did it out of my own will, Simon! He didn't blackmail me or emotionally forced me.."

Oh, no! Robert thought, this wouldn't take the right turn. As much as he wanted to kill the man himself, he promised himself to be a good husband to Cora, to protect her and keep her happy but at this moment, none of that was looking likely. "Cora.." he said.

"I love him, Simon. I love _him_. Do you hear me?" Cora shouted. "I am not your property and you have no right to barge in here and force yourself on us like that." Cora could feel tears in her eyes but she stood up strong. She was absolutely done with being treated like she had no mind of her own.

"You love him?" Simon laughed. "You love him?" he neared Cora "You expect a man who can't even take care of himself, to take care of you?" he laughed more as he slammed the wall next to Cora as Cora jumped in surprise, accidentally hitting the small table next to the bed and breaking the lamp placed on it. "He doesn't love you, Cora; you're just so stupid to see that"

"What do you know about love?" Robert said as he neared him. "Do you even know the meaning of love?" Robert looked at him straight in the eye with so much anger that slightly made Simon gulped. "You call this love, whatever the hell you're doing. Is this love?" Robert gestured to how he had squashed Cora between him.

Simon huffed and spoke in a low tone "And the way how easily you let her go the first time, you call that love?"

Cora looked at Robert as he raised his eyebrows "It is my love for her that today she's here and willing to be with me despite everything"

"That is just her stupidity! Simon justified.

"Enough!" Robert shouted. "If you call her any of that one more time.." Robert took him by his collar "I will personally make sure that all your bones are snapped in two"

Cora covered her mouth as she witnessed the scene in front of her. She ran a hand through her sweaty hair and spoke "Simon, please. Just get out of here!" she whispered. As if in sync, Robert pushed him away and Simon tumbled backwards. Simon's tan face appeared bright red with anger as he straightened his shirt.

"Oh, I will. I will go.." Simon said as he stood up straight "But not without you" he looked at Cora.

Cora gulped as Robert came nearer her "She will not go anywhere with you as long as I am alive. Now get out!"

"Cora, I'm warning you the last time, let's go!" Simon shouted as he pointed a finger at her. "Come on!" he said, losing patience.

"No!" she said through a shaky voice "I won't go"

Simon smirked, taking out a small bottle of whiskey and devouring it before smashing the bottle of the floor " _As long as you're alive_ , you said.." on queue Simon took out a pistol from his coat and pointed at Robert. "What if, you're not?"

"Simon, no!" Cora shouted. Robert gulped but stood in front of Cora, covering her.

"Then be a good girl and come on!" Simon replied.

Cora looked at Robert who gestured her to stay where she was.

"I am waiting!" Simon shouted this time, loading his pistol.

Cora breathed heavily and took a step towards him when Robert stopped her.

"No, Cora no" he said as he turned to look at her. "I will not let you go; I'll not lose you this time"

Cora took a step closer to him and held his arm "But I know if I don't go, I'll lose you" her face covered in tears as she looked at him with fear in her eyes.

Robert felt tears in his eyes himself as he took her hand "You won't, please just don't.."

"Cora, come on!" Simon shouted again.

Cora looked at Simon and then back to Robert with bloodshot eyes "Let me go, he won't do anything to me" she whispered in Robert's ear.

"You don't know that!" Robert held onto her hand tighter "I promised myself I'll protect you"

Cora looked at him helplessly and forced her hand out of his grip, mouthing ' _I'll be okay'_ and stepped walked towards Simon. Simon grabbed her arm and started walking towards the door with an evil smirk painted on his face.

Robert looked at their backs and felt helpless. He knows that he will torture Cora until she gives up and he knew that Cora won't give up, ever. He won't let Cora go away with this monster. He will not let him take her away again. No, he won't. He breathed harshly, as anger started building up in him. He will not let her go. His veins throbbed and his heart pumped blood faster than it had ever before.

He felt his feet running after them and the next second he grabbed Simon by the neck, turned him around and punched his jaw with all the strength that he had. Simon landed on the bed as Cora screamed. "Robert.." but to no avail as Simon got up and punched Robert right in his stitches.

"Stop! Cora shouted as Robert grabbed the side of his stomach in extreme pain. "Robert, oh god, Robert, are you okay?" she helped him stand as Simon wiped the blood off his face and grabbed her again. "Come on"

"No..Simon, let me go" she fought but Simon's hold was too strong.

Meanwhile Robert was pretty sure he had torn his stitches but to hell with that, he forced himself to stand up again and kicked Simon from the back. As soon as he hit the floor, Robert sat on him and punched him again. Simon pushed him away until they both fell and rolled at the end of the room.

"Stop it, just stop.." Cora covered her face as she tried to get Simon off Robert. Simon pushed Cora away and because he was so strong; her head hit the wall very harshly that she went momentarily blind. A sharp pain rose up her head and she felt as if one of her bones had broken in the skull.

Simon grabbed his pistol which had fallen from his hand and tried to shoot Robert but Robert got on top of him and grabbed his hands. He tried to shoot Robert but he kept forcing his hands away and it was difficult to do so as he was laying top of him and they kept tumbling while arm wrestling the pistol. Cora ran to grab her phone to call the police, very dizzily while the two men kept punching each other while trying to get a hold of the pistol.

"You're dead, Crawley!" Simon said as he put his fingers on the trigger and Robert kept trying to direct the pistol elsewhere.

Meanwhile Cora called the police and hoped she had given the right address as she was close to fainting and then shouted "Stop it, oh god" when the three of them in the room heard the trigger pull.

Everything went silent for a second as everyone tried to register what happened and who it happened to. Robert looked at Simon who was under him and Simon looked at Robert. They both looked at each to see any sign of pain, but when there was none, they both saw the direction the pistol then. It was right in the middle of the two men with its face pointing to the left. They both looked up and saw where the bullet landed.

"Cora!" Robert shouted "Oh, God!" Robert got up immediately as he saw Cora clutching her stomach where the bullet had hit her.

Simon too, got up. "Oh. God" he said as he covered his face in horror.

"Cora, oh god, no, Cora.." Robert held her by her waist as she fell on the floor.

"Cora!" he shouted and patted her face. The blinding pain in her head and her abdomen was close to fainting her but she tried very hard to keep her eyes open at his voice.

"Cora, open your eyes, Cora!" Robert begged her as he continued patting her face.

Even Simon stood there frozen, covering his mouth. "What have I done?" Simon spoke to himself and pulled his hair. But Robert didn't acknowledge it as he tried to get Cora to open her eyes.

"What is going on..oh, God!" Robert heard a feminine voice behind him but he didn't have to turn to know it was Mrs. Hughes.

Mrs. Hughes who had ran from her house in her dressing gown ran inside "I heard breaking of things and a gun.." she entered and saw the scene in front of her. "Oh God…. Cora!" she said.

"Robert.." Cora spoke with a soft voice.

"Yes, yes my darling, I'm here" Robert spoke. He felt sick. He had bruises all over his body but nothing was compared to the pain he felt in his heart. His eyes filled with tears as he held his beloved.

The sirens that everyone next heard were an indication that the police had arrived.

"Mrs. Hughes.." Robert said "Call the ambulance!"

Mrs. Hughes ran to call the ambulance when the police entered the house. No one really acknowledged them but it was obvious as Cora was lying in Robert's arms and Simon held a pistol and was frozen to his step.

"Robert..I don't think I can.." Cora spoke again.

"You'll be fine, my darling" Robert tried to control his emotions "You'll be okay. Just keep your eyes open, okay?"

"I..I am sor..sorry, I didn't, didn't want this to end this way..Rob.."

"Shush, my love. It's not the end, it can't be" Robert reassured her as his heart beat out of his chest.

Cora was quickly losing full conscience as the police handcuffed Simon.

Cora fought to keep her eyes open as she grabbed on to Robert's arm with all the strength that remained in her "Listen..Robert, if, if I don't, m-make it, just know I've always…always loved you very, v-very much.."

Robert started crying at this point, "Cora, this can't be it..I, can't lose you, please..just.." Robert held her tightly. "God, SOMEONE CALL THE AMBULANCE!"

"It's on its way" Mrs. Hughes reemerged in the room. The police then told Mrs. Hughes about reporting the incident to the police station later and took Simon away but Robert couldn't hear as all his little energy was spent in trying to keep Cora awake.

Cora fought her pain and kept her eyes open for Robert; she fought as hard as she could. She didn't want to die like this, she didn't want Robert to feel what she felt when she saw all of _his_ blood, and she didn't want him to be alone. She tried with all that she had to stay awake but something, something in her mind told her that maybe this really was the _end_. Cora covered Robert's cheek with her bloodstained hands and wiped a tear.

"Robert.." she very lightly chuckled a very dry chuckle "Remb..remember how I said years ago, that,ah!.." she felt another shot of pain in her head as more blood oozed out her stomach "..that when I die, I want to die in…your arms.." she gestured at him holding her "Didn't..didn't quite picture this scenario.." she tried to laugh but Robert was having none of it.

Robert sobbed and took her hand on his cheek "Please…please don't leave me..please". Tears of all sorts of pain rain down Cora's eyes as well, when at last the sirens of the ambulance were heard.

In the next thirty seconds, Cora was transferred in the ambulance and Robert felt a hand on his shoulder which belonged to Mrs. Hughes. He looked at her and saw her crying herself.

"If there is any fairness in this world, she'll live" she said and let go off him as he climbed at the back of the ambulance himself.

* * *

Robert sat on a wooden chair as two people cleaned him up and tried to re-stitch him. They said it would sting but it didn't. Maybe it did, but he didn't know. All he knew was that Cora had gotten shot and may die. It was all his fault. It was. If he had listened to Cora and let her go then, maybe she wouldn't have gotten shot. But he had to punch Simon, fully knowing that he had a pistol. He wished it was him instead of her or none of them really. He looked at the nurse who dipped cotton after cotton in water to clean his body but all he concentrated on were his hands that were covered in Cora's blood.

 _Do you have any idea, how I, how I felt, when I was welcomed in your house with nothing but your blood?_

 _…..waiting for hours to find out if you were going to live or not…not knowing if I'll ever be able to tell you that I am sorry, that I love you. Do you?_

Cora's voice on that rainy night that changed their lives echoed back at him. He saw the clear water in the bowl turn pink and then red dissolving her blood and realized that only now he truly understands how she felt. And he felt helpless, desperate and in so much pain that he was surprised how he was still alive. He too wanted to tell her he was sorry. He was so sorry. He shouldn't have lost his patience, if he had half a brain he would've known that that bloody pistol was real and could hurt somebody. Hurt _her_.

He too, wanted to tell her he loved her. He kept telling her that's she'll be okay but he didn't know that, did he? He didn't. Oh, god, he felt sick and immediately a nurse sensed it and put a bowl in front of him where he could vomit. He felt so sick and so terrible. She had to live because he too, has always, always loved her.

* * *

Half an hour later, Robert sat outside emergency with Carson. Mrs. Hughes had excused herself for a few minutes. Robert sat in a white hospital shirt with his elbows on his knees and his intertwined hands rested against his lips. Soft tears fell on his fingers as he was lost in thought.

"How..how did it happen?" Carson asked him he lowered his head in disappointment. This world really was a cruel place.

Robert opened his mouth to speak but couldn't. He waited for a few seconds and then tried again "He, um..he got in the house through the window and threatened us and wanted to take her away. When she refused he took out a pistol and…and she told me that I should let her go and..and she'll be okay but I didn't listen. I grabbed him and punched him. We both fought and I ..I think he pushed her and her head hit something…he tried to shoot me but the bullet hit her" More tears fell down his eyes "Hit the person to whom nothing should have happened" Carson put his hand of his shoulder and patted.

"If I just hadn't…"

"Sir" Carson sighed "You were both trying to protect each other, as you always do. You can't blame yourself for this"

But Robert didn't reply to this, he just continued looking at the floor with his eyes full of tears.

Mrs. Hughes then walked up to them and held out an iPad to him. "It's your sister"

Robert looked at her and she replied that she has already told her everything, saving Robert repeating the incident. Robert just nodded, took the iPad and walked to the other benches for some privacy.

"It's a good thing you told her" Mr. Carson said.

"Their family should know, in case.." Mrs. Hughes sobbed.

"Elsie.." he put his hand on her shoulder. "Have faith" she nodded and put a hand of his hand.

* * *

Robert looked at the screen and saw a pain in his sister's eyes that he had only seen when Marmaduke had died.

"Oh, my dear" Rosamund said. It was late at night and he could see that she had just woken up to this awful news.

"What did the doctors say?" she asked.

"Nothing, I uh..they're still operating"

"Robert" she said. "I know she'll be fine"

Robert looked elsewhere as more tears gathered in his eyes "Ros, if I had just.."

"No, Robert. Mrs. Hughes told me. You were just trying to protect her"

"But I didn't, did I? Now she could die because of me.."

Rosamund remained silent and bit her lip.

"I can't be without her, Ros, I can't.."

"I know. I know you can't but right now.." Rosamund sniffed, "You need to be strong for her and for your girls, okay?"

Robert nodded, "The girls, I, didn't.."

"Don't worry, I'll let them know"

"They don't know anything about.."

"I'll tell them all, you just concentrate on Cora and yourself"

Robert nodded.

"How are you stitches?" she asked and Robert shrugged.

"How's the pain?" she asked further.

Robert bit his lip and looked at her with bloodshot eyes "Unbearable" and Rosamund too, shed a tear.

* * *

After the skype call with Rosamund, Robert, Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes all waited outside the operation theatre.

After an hour or so, the surgeon emerged from the theatre and all three stood up.

"She's stable for now" The other two took a breath of relief aside from Robert.

"For now?" he asked.

"We've retract the bullet but she lost a lot of blood so she's very weak. She had a really nasty bruise on her skull as well that caused her to bleed internally but we've controlled it for now. Her BP is stable and so is her heart rate. We've stitched her up and examined her brain but it seems okay, you brought her here on time. Now we'll just wait for her to wake up. But I must tell you, it can result in some memory loss or temporal coma"

The three of them facing the doctor looked at him with horror painted across their faces.

"Can I..can I see her?"

"If you wish" with that Robert entered the room.

"I'll tell his sister" Mrs. Hughes said as Carson nodded and sat down with his head in his hands. Anything could happen still.

* * *

Robert sat next to Cora's bed and looked at her tiny body. She looked so small. She had drips attached all over her arm; her head was cushioned into some sort of a thick collar, probably to get her head to stay in one position. Her mouth was covered by an oxygen mask. The scene made Robert cry. He for the first time since it happened cried his heart out. He sobbed and his body shook as tears of pain fell down his eyes. He cried and cried until he had no tears left.

"Please be okay, please" he said as he took her spare hand. "I love you, please…please be okay"

Minutes turned into hours as he sat holding her small hand. Mrs. Hughes and Carson checked up on him several times asking if he needed something but he declined because he only wanted one thing. He kissed her hand and cried more. His body ached, he himself had bandages all over and the doctor told him to get some rest but he refused that as well.

Near dawn he sat by the window and looked at the rising sun, he closed his eyes and joined his hands together to pray. "Dear God, I am sorry that I haven't been a very good person. I've.." he felt tears in his eyes again "I've hurt an angel you sent me years ago but you gifted it back to me and I blew up that chance as well. But if..if I've done anything, anything right..I beg you to keep her safe. I beg you to keep her alive, please…I know I can't live without her. Please don't take her away from me."

He wiped his tears and went to sit with Cora again. He held her hand and kissed all her knuckles. He retraced the lines of her hands and wondered if they really made any sense. He kissed her palm and prayed again.

He didn't know how much time had passed; he just stared at her with sleepy, tired eyes. Eventually he fell asleep, or not, he wasn't sure. But he closed his eyes with her hand in his.

Seconds, minutes or hours later he felt a thumb very lightly trace his pinky finger. He rubbed his eyes and sat straight up.

"Cora?" he called out and gulped, when he saw her furrowing her brows and her eyelids softly vibrating.

He then called out in some relief "Doctor!"

* * *

 **Hello! Not a very long chapter but tbh I was tempted to finish it after she got shot but I know I put a lot of cliffhangers and with my updating routine, you all probably hate me already so here ya go. The story is near its end, I should warn you all. I am sorry its a small chapter but its already a lot to take in, am I right?**

 **Hope you all are having a lovely day, I am sorry I update so sluggishly, but trust me life is not easy when you're in a university. Please, please REVIEW. People are not as active as they were while reviewing and trust me that's all a writer needs to be demotivated, so just drop in a line or two to let me know what you think ;)**


	28. Chapter 28

_Open…Close..Open…Close…Light…Dark…Light..Dark...Blink…Blink..Blink.._

 _Robert._

Cora felt a sting in her abdomen and a blinding pain in her head, as if someone just hit her hard with a cricket bat. She opened her eyes again then closed again. Her mind kept showing her blurry, hazy images. Someone screaming, someone running. Then she heard her name.

 _Cora..Cora…Cora..Can you hear me?_

Yes, yes, she can hear it. But is someone asking her in her dream or in reality? She replied but only in her head, somehow it wasn't possible to speak physically.

She opened her eyes again and blinked. Blinked again and saw a blurry white then blinked again and saw a deep dark black. Blink, blink, blink.

 _Cora, Cora, SOMEONE CALL THE AMBULANCE!_

 _Don't leave me, please!_

Her heart rate accelerated, she felt a sense of panic. Her mouth felt extremely dry and her throat was clogged. What was happening?

She heard her name and someone said that her heart was accelerating.

 _Cora, please open your eyes._

Okay, she'll try again. _Blink, blink, blink. Light, dark, light, dark. Open, close, open, close, open._

Her eyes adjusted to the light again as she sighed heavily, her heart rate seemed to be calming down. She heard her name again.

 _Cora?_

Robert. Yes, that is Robert. She tried to move her head to the direction the voice was coming from.

"Don't move your head" an unfamiliar voice spoke and she immediately stopped. It must be something to do with the pain in her head.

She opened her eyes again and saw four sets of eyes staring at her. She recognized the baby blue ones and felt relieved. She couldn't recognize the other ones.

The man with the unfamiliar eyes spoke again.

"Do you remember your name?"

What, of course she does. It's Cora. Cora Crawley.

"Yes, Cora Crawley" her hoarse voice came out, barely audible.

"Alright good, do you remember what happened to you?" the man spoke again.

A series of pictures shot passed her mind as soon as the man asked. She felt a headache coming in and she thought more and more about it.

The screaming, yes. Her, Robert and Simon. She could hear her hear her footsteps running towards the phone, she could hear a vase breaking, a trigger pulling, her head smacking, and a bullet tearing her skin apart.

Her hand went to her abdomen and she sighed and tried to look down. The stomach was covered in rough, white bandages. Yes, she remembers though everything was in a blur, she couldn't chronologically set the event but she remembers the crux of it. She was shot.

"I..ah..yes, I was shot" Cora added with her hoarse voice, which came out more defeated than before. Just thinking of it all made her tired.

"Do you remember who shot you?" the man asked again.

"Doctor, please. We mustn't distress her" Robert added quickly. Even though she had anesthesia and her focus wasn't clear, she could see the tension Robert had in his eyes.

"Hm" she added, "I remember. It's a..it's not clear, it's.."

"It's alright. You hit your head against a wall pretty hard but there seems to be no long term damage"

Robert sighed in relief and let out a puff of air. He closed his eyes and rubbed his hands on his face, as if all the burden on his shoulders had just lifted.

"Are you sure, she is completely out of danger?" Robert questioned, with a hint of fear in his voice.

"Yes, I think it's safe to say she is out of danger, but she's still a bit far from completely fine"

Robert nodded and looked at Cora, as Cora tried hard to keep her focus on him.

"Well then, I'll come and check her in a few hours" Doctor nodded, shook Robert's hand and exited the room.

Robert sat on a steel stool next to her bed and took her hand. "Thank God, you're alright" he sighed and kissed her hand. "I was so scared"

Cora didn't respond, she just looked at her with droopy eyes. "I'm..I'm tired, Robert" she whispered.

"Yes, yes, you rest now" Robert got up and kissed her forehead gently.

"Will you stay?" she asked and squeezed his hand with all the little strength she had.

"I'll be right here" Robert replied with a soft smile. And just half a minute later, Cora fell asleep and for the first time in hours Robert closed his eyes in relief.

* * *

Back in London, Rosamund sat facing the three Crawley sisters who had just been hit by a load of information, they weren't ready for. Rosamund had called them for breakfast not telling what it was about. They had only taken a sip or two of tea when Rosamund requested them not to interrupt and started the story right after they were left off; when Robert had come back home from the hospital. She tried her best to explain it with little complications but even to her it sounded like a merry go round which completely flipped over.

It had been over 5 minutes that she had stopped talking and the girls kept staring at her. Edith was the first one to break the silence.

"So, um, mama, is she.."

"Yes, yes dear she's fine now. Completely out of danger, Mrs. Hughes just informed me"

Mary had raised her eyebrows and Rosamund knew something was cooking. "I knew it. I knew it wasn't going to end, well _normal."_

"Is it ever normal with these two?" Edith added as she ran a hand in her hair "Oh god, I really need to talk to Papa but how will I start?''

"Are you sure Mama is alright?" Sybil asked this time. She was the one with the softest of hearts. While the other two felt confusion, anger, frustration of being left out of everything, Sybil focused on what was more important.

Rosamund took her hand and squeezed it "She is fine" she chewed her lip and continued "Look girls, I know you must be feeling a lot right now, trust me I did the same but the only reason you were left out of all this because your parents were just as confused, they didn't want to give you all false hopes"

Mary took her teacup and went to stand near a window.

"I honestly can't believe this, any of this. I am not angry, I am just…confused" Edith added "and scared" her voice broke.

"Edith is right. Its high time Mama and Papa prioritize their health over everything. I'll talk to Matthew, I'll get more involved in the business, this isn't right" Mary spoke and rarely the tension that was visible now was visible on her face. All the girls were still digesting the fact that their parents had been on the verge of dying and in a matter of months, everything that happened in the past six years flipped.

"I always had a feeling, I just knew it deep down this was never the end for these two" Sybil added as everyone looked at her. "We all knew it" she gestured with her arms and chuckled dryly "Deep down we all knew it"

Rosamund smiled and looked down, completely agreeing with her but didn't speak as this moment was between the three daughters.

Edith smiled to herself "They really are one of a kind, everyone else knew except for them"

"I warned Mama not to live with him, not because I didn't want them back together, because I knew it was never plain sailing with these two, I just didn't thought it'll end in such a disaster"

Rosamund stood up and went to her "Mary, darling they're alright now"

Mary nodded and sighed "I just feel as if as daughters we've been rather irresponsible. We should've been there for them more"

"And how would you have done that?'' Rosamund asked.

"Mary is right Aunt Rosamund, maybe if we had helped them more in their work and made them realize that what they were doing with their lives was wrong, we might have…" Edith sighed "Because we all knew it, we just didn't let them know"

"Edith dear, I think for them it was important to go through all of this" Rosamund put an arm around her. "You remember how dark it was when they started fighting, it was awful and so depressing"

All the girls nodded and Rosamund continued "They needed to realize that what they had wasn't ordinary and wasn't something they can shove under the carpet and forget about"

"So what now? What do we do now" Sybil asked.

"Well first we talk to Papa" Mary raised her eyebrows as if he had a big lecture coming.

"Go easy on him Mary, he's had a rough day" Rosamund said and Mary just shrugged.

"And to think how will we tell this to Matthew, Bertie and Tom" Edith said.

"Golly, I didn't even think of that" Mary said rubbing her head.

"And Granny!" Sybil said and they all went pale.

"You leave Granny to me" said Rosamund.

* * *

Cora had been sleeping for a few hours and Robert just sat there staring at her, she looked so small and weak and all he wanted to do was to take her in his arms and never let go. Mrs. Hughes and Carson had visited and Mrs. Hughes had smuggled in a box she had prepared for him with a sandwich she made, knowing that hospital food was far from tasty and healthy. Robert had thanked them and ate after one complete day. He ate silently and softly caressed Cora's hands on and off when his phone rang. He immediately grabbed it and went outside the room, in fear of waking her up.

It was Rosamund on a skype call, he answered and to his surprise it was Edith instead of Ros who answered. He was still shocked sometimes at the resemblance, Edith and Ros could easily be mistaken as mother and daughter.

"Edith, darling.."

"Oh, Papa!" and Robert immediately realized that she knew.

"She is alright now" he said "She is sleeping, the doctors said that she is out of danger"

Edith was on the verge of tears, looking at her Papa who looked ten times his age. His eyes had a ghost like look and they were etched as if he had had no rest for days. He looked pale and weak and completely exhausted.

"And you? How are you?" Edith asked.

"I am alright"

"Are the stitches alright?" he heard Sybil's voice in the background and a second later she appeared on the screen. Robert smiled softly looking at her.

"Yeah, well they're okay"

"Honestly Papa, fighting?" It was Mary this time.

"Oh I wondered where you were." Robert added and then noticed the worry etched upon the faces of all three of his daughters. "It's alright now, I and Mama are fine"

"Why didn't you tell us, about anything?" Mary questioned.

"We wanted to tell you when we came back"

"Back?" Sybil said "Are you both coming back?"

Robert nodded and Edith added "Is that wise? I mean in yours and Mama's condition?"

"We're not coming back immediately, after a few days when we both are healthy enough"

They all nodded "Speaking of healthy, Papa you need to make some serious life changes" Mary added.

"You sound like your Mama"

"I am serious, there's a limit to which you can exhaust yourself"

"I agree with her, Robbie" Rosamund added as Mary turned the laptop towards her.

"Hi, Ros. I will, I will, I just need to look after Cora right now"

"And yourself as well!" Robert nodded.

"When can we talk to her?" Sybil asked.

"She is still asleep and she is very weak right now, I'll try when she's able to"

"Can we at least see her?"

Robert didn't want to show the girls how Cora looked, they'll be too distressed. Rosamund sensed his reluctance and took over. "Let's not disturb her right now"

"Alright then, we'll be there as soon as possible" Mary added.

"Mary there is no need"

"Really, Papa.."

"No just hear me out. We have help here and we will be back in London as soon as possible"

"But Papa there should be someone there from the family"

"I am going" Rosamund added. "I talked to your father about it earlier, you all have work to do here and have families, I'll go"

"Are you sure, I can manage some days off from the magazine" Edith said.

"I am"

"Um, Papa? What about _him_?'' asked Sybil.

Just the thought of him boiled Robert's blood "He is in custody and yesterday was the last time he ever hurt any member of my family"

* * *

After talking to his daughters and convincing them out of coming here he went back inside the room. There really was no need for them to be here, but he knew that they all were scared and wanted them back and safe and he mentally made a note to start working on his transfer back to London. He opened the door and saw Cora fidgeting in her sleep, she tried to say something in her sleep but couldn't, he could see her eyes moving under the lid. She was having a nightmare.

"Cora, darling, wake up, Cora?" he held her arm gently, trying to nudge her out of her nightmare.

"Cor, darling, wake up" he nudged a few times until she finally opened her eyes wide and full of terror.

"Ssh! It's alright, it's alright." He said patting her face softly.

"Water" Cora murmured and he lifted her up with one arm, careful not to move her head too much or put pressure on her stomach. He helped her drink a few sips before she lied back down with a sigh.

"You alright?" he asked and Cora nodded.

"You seemed to be having a nightmare" Cora looked at him with ghost like eyes, all lost in their color.

"Just bad dreams" she replied softly. Robert could see it was more than that but he didn't want to press her. "What's the time?" she asked lowly.

"It's almost noon. The girls called. They know"

"Oh" she said, looking at him eye to eye for the first time.

"Ros explained them pretty well so it's alright. They insisted on coming here but I told them not to as Rosamund is"

"Oh, okay. How, um, how are the stitches?" she asked and she lowered her eyes again.

"They are fine" Robert was surprised that she didn't even raise an eyebrow when he said Rosamund was coming. It was the first time he told her but she looked too distracted to focus.

Something wasn't right, Robert could sense it. It maybe because she was still under the effect of anesthesia but his gut told him something else was off. She was carrying some burden with her and he needed to know what. She laid back down and Robert could see the stress and the weakness on her face. But there was also something else, something he was sure she was hiding from him.

"Cora?"

"Yeah" she looked at him with panic in her eyes as if he's about to unveil something very awful.

"I uh, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, um, I am fine" she looked down again "It seems as if all I want to do is sleep, everything makes me tired" she smiled faintly.

She wasn't talking much and something was upsetting her, but she didn't want to share it just yet. Robert got up and kissed her forehead. "Alright, get some more sleep"

Cora nodded as Robert started walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Cora asked, again with the voice drenched in panic and fear.

Robert turned around and stared at her "Darling, I am just closing the door properly"

"Oh" she replied, an answer which sounded more like a sigh of relief. Robert shut the door and went back to sitting on the stool and only then Cora shut her eyes again.

* * *

Half an hour later, a knock on the door distracted Robert who himself was half asleep on the couch near Cora's bed. It really looked like the time when he burst his ulcer and instead of being on the couch, he was on the bed and Cora slept on the couch. Everything looked the same, it was just that they had reversed roles. He sighed in grief that somehow they always end up in such a horrifying situation. Another knock on the door made him finally turn towards that direction. It was Carson peeking in contemplating if he should step in or wait for Robert to step out. Robert waved at him directing that he'll be out in a second. As soon as Carson went, Robert took one look at Cora to make sure she was asleep. When he was satisfied, he walked out the door.

"Yes, hello Carson"

"Good afternoon, Sir" he replied and sort of regretted it the next second because the afternoon was far from _good_ for Robert and Cora. Carson coughed, turning a little pink in embarrassment. "How do you feel, Sir?"

"Better, much better, thank you" Robert replied resisting a yawn.

"I just got a call from the police station" said Carson.

That was enough for Robert to forget about his yawn "Yes?"

"It seems that foreign countries cannot keep a foreigner in custody for so long without any paperwork and the police was wondering when you and Mrs. Crawley will be able to file a report"

This angered Robert "We are both unable and unstable to leave the premises of the hospital, surely they realize that. Isn't Mrs. Hughes and yours evidence enough for the time being?"

Carson as if expecting this response answered "Well that's the thing, when the whole, uh, unfortunate incident happened, nor me nor Mrs. Hughes witnessed it. Mrs. Hughes arrived when Mrs. Crawley had already been shot and I met you here at the hospital"

Robert nodded understanding and ran a hand through his hair "Well, I will see what I can do. Right now, I am not able to leave the hospital so it'll have to wait a few days"

"Sir" Carson nodded and then continued "Alright, I shall tell them that" he started to walk then stopped "What about Mrs. Crawley, Sir?"

"What about her?"

"When will she be able to visit the police station?"

"Carson, currently she is unable to lift herself on her own, I don't think it'll be anytime soon and anyways I don't want her there. The police can take the report from the hospital or the house but I don't want _him_ anywhere near her! Please, let them know that" The firmness and seriousness in Robert's voice was enough for Carson to get the message, he nodded, once again a bit embarrassed and left the hospital.

Will Cora really have to visit the police station? He didn't think that wise, no, it'll be too distressing for her. He can't let her suffer like that again. He will try his best to find another way. He nodded to himself and rubbed his eyes, re-entering the room.

* * *

As soon as he shut the door behind him, he looked at Cora fidgeting once again, he could see a thin layer of sweat on her forehead. Her eyes vibrated under the eye lids again and her face looked as if she was about to cry. Robert rushed towards her, he was out ten minutes, and he wondered what happened.

"Cora, wake up, darling?" after nudging her a couple of times, Cora finally woke up. He helped her sit up and rubbed her back to calm her down. Meanwhile Cora covered her face with her hands, trying to breathe normally.

After giving her a few minutes, he spoke "Water?" and she moved her head in rejection.

"You want to tell me what is going on?" he asked taking her hand.

Cora looked at Robert rubbing her hand and concentrated on the circles he made while she regained her breathing.

"Cora, this isn't good for you. Please, talk to me" Robert pushed her this time, he needed to know what upset her so much that she wakes up with ragged breaths.

Cora gulped and finally looked at him, he could see tears pooling in her eyes "I, I see him. I close my eyes and I see him. I relive the whole thing again and again and again"

"Hey, sshh, it's alright" Robert rubbed her back again as Cora started crying again. Now he understood what was wrong, she was in a post trauma depression.

Cora sniffed and fidgeted her fingers together, "You know the moment I gained conscience I heard his voice, the screaming, the shouting and it's recurring, it just doesn't stop. I hear my footsteps, I hear the sound of his punch, I hear the trigger pulling, I hear everything and I can't seem to block it out. I can't, Robert. I just can't" her tears became intense.

There was nothing Robert was able to do at that moment, he thought back to all the things she had witnessed, his blood, his scars, her getting shot, him getting into a fight and her losing confidence in people. She had been through a lot.

"I can't sleep properly, I am scared. I close my eyes and I have to relive it all again and I struggle to get out of it. I am sorry" she looked at him as more tears fall down on her lap "I am so sorry, I was so stupid" she covers her face again.

"Oh, Cora" he kisses her head and intertwine her fingers with his "Don't go down that road, it's over now, hm? Its fine, it's done"

"No, Robert I can't believe I put us through all this, I can't believe I gave that vile man so much power that he had the audacity to do what he did. I am really sorry"

Robert's heart broke at looking at her, he was once again furious at Simon, it is because of him Cora is so scared and is living in fear. Robert stood up and sat face to face with her and gently grabbed her shoulders. "Look at me, hey, look at me"

When she did he continued "That man, he was mental, he wasn't sane, Cora. You didn't give him power, he took it on his own, and even I can see that. He never had the power to order you and even though I sulked and cried in the corner looking at you both, I could see who really the one in command in the relationship was and that was you. He wasn't a normal person and that is not your fault. My darling, please don't beat yourself up about that, please" Robert waited as she controlled her tears "And I want to apologize, he won't have shot you if I hadn't interfered. I was the stupid one, I let my heart rule over my head and look at where it got us. I am really sorry, if I hadn't been foolish enough.."

"Oh, Robert please" Cora held his hand "Please don't make me feel worse about this and no, in some cases you have to let your heart rule. We have seen it in the past. And if I were you, I'd had done the same. You are right, he isn't sane and who knows what he would have done if he had taken me away. You did the right thing. At least he is away now" Robert nodded and wiped her tears.

"I just.." Cora continued "I just want to go home." Cora sounded like a child and a woman twice her age at the same time, she was exhausted and so was he. "I just want to go home" her voice signaled that she was tired, she was too weak to be speaking and exerting this much, either mentally or physically "I want to get out of here, I want a fresh start, I just want a normal, long and a happy life with you and the children. That's all I want from life"

"Me, too Cora. It's ended now, it's done" he said as he cupped her face.

"But is it?'' the fear returned "I don't have to see his face again right? I can't do it Robert"

Robert thought back to what Carson said "I um, Carson just told me that they cannot keep him in jail for long, not over here" The panic in Cora's face returned.

"We have to file a report, of the full incident"

"Do I really have to?"

"No, I will not let you go to the police station, not at all, but darling you will have to give your side of the story but I will make sure it's either here or at home. You will never be near him again, I promise" he cupped her face once again and looked her straight in the eyes. "I promise you, Cora" she nodded.

"Now, lay back down and try to sleep darling" Robert helped her down.

"The images they keep reappearing, will you hold my hand?''

Robert smiled "No" and Cora raised her eyebrows "I will hold you" He got into the giant bed with her, it was too big for her tiny body and snuggled next to her, resting his head on one of his hands. He kissed her forehead again and caressed her cheek. "Is this better"

With a few tears in her eyes she smiled "Perfect"

* * *

The next morning, the doctor checked up on Cora's stitches and head wound, the doctor thankfully ruled her out of any long term danger. Robert had a private word with the doctor about Cora's recurring nightmares and he said that they shall pass soon and that her reaction is normal considering how much she's gone through. But Robert took it to mind that he will be there for her 24/7 until she is completely healthy. He will make her feel loved and safe and secure with him so that she can somewhat get passed what happened. If he was honest, he was having trouble letting go as well and he wasn't sure that they'll ever be able to let it go, they just need to be able to live with it all.

The girls called a few hours later after Cora had had some soup and half a piece of toast. She was recovering slowly but surely and Robert was glad for that. The girls had a detailed talk with Robert and Cora but Robert spoke most of the time as Cora was still too tired to be all chatty. However the girls were satisfied enough that their Mama is recovering right and there is no permanent damage. After the Q&A's about why they hid it and what's next, the conversation took a casual turn.

Sybil was talking about renovating the house when Robert asked "But darling, your house is fine. It's only been a year, why are you renovating it already?"

Cora added with the little energy she had "Have you asked Tom? He isn't always up for spending money unnecessarily"

Sybil grinned "Actually it was his idea"

"Really?" Robert furrowed his brows "This is hard to believe"

"What is going on, why are you grinning?" Cora asked, sensing there was another side to the story.

Sybil grinned wider "I am pregnant!" before Cora and Robert could react, Edith and Mary came into the frame with a bunch of balloons and a box of party poppers and burst it "Surprise!" they said unanimously.

"Oh my God" Cora covered her face "my baby"

"Sybil, oh my darling, Cora did you hear?" he looked at Cora who was still trying to hold her joy in fear of getting a headache or tearing her stitches.

"Oh, I can't believe this. My baby is having a baby!" Cora added.

"When did you know?" Robert asked.

"Just last week, I wanted to tell you in person but I wasn't sure when you'll be back so"

"Oh, you just made my day. A grandfather, imagine" he looked at Cora who had a grin plastered on her face.

"Um, actually Papa, the baby is going to follow the tradition, you'll be called a _Donk_ "

Robert immediately made a pouting face and everyone laughed. Things seemed to be getting on to the right track.

* * *

Three days later, Cora & Robert got the permission to leave the hospital. Carson and Mrs. Hughes picked them up and their stuff and helped them in the car. The drive back was slow, Carson was careful not to jilt the car so much. Rosamund greeted them in their house, ready to be nursing her brother and sister in law. Robert got out the car in a hurry and immediately winced, Rosamund rolled her eyes muttering how childish he was and gave him a hand.

"But I have to help Cora.."

"I can help her" Mrs. Hughes added and helped her out the car while Carson went on parking.

It was almost dinner time when they arrived Mrs. Hughes helped Cora into her bedroom. "Thank you, Mrs. Hughes" Cora said taking her hand.

Mrs. Hughes smiled and asked "Do you need anything else?"

"No, thank you" she nodded and left the room. When Mrs. Hughes left the room, Carson entered the house and gave Elsie a very warm smile. Cora suspected that they were now officially a couple.

Few minutes later Robert entered the room saying goodbye to Carson and Mrs. Hughes and Rosamund followed Robert carrying a tray.

"Rosamund, you don't have to do this" Cora said she adjusted herself in an upright position.

"Oh, nonsense, that's why I came here"

"Here let me help" Robert said trying to take the tray from her.

"I appreciate it brother dear but you'll be no help to me or yourself"

Robert mumbled and sat down with Cora as Rosamund placed a tray on their bed. Of course, soup again with a very light and very leafy salad with one or two bits of chicken. Robert pouted and Cora smirked to herself, she knew how he was always very picky about food.

"Really, rabbit food?" Robert said. Both Rosamund and Cora gave him a look and it was enough to shut him up.

"Thank you so much, Rosamund" Cora said.

"You're welcome. Now do you need anything else?" Both Cora and Robert moved their head in rejection.

"Cora when do you have to get your bandage changed?"

"Um, on Friday. We have three days"

"And you Robert, when do we have to check up on your stitches?"

"Same, on Friday"

"Alright, so both of your medicines are in the drawer" she gestured it towards the side table on Robert's side "Cora yours is in the yellow bag and Robert's are in the green so that you don't mix them up. I have put painkillers next to them just in case and a hot water bottle is also in your bed in case one feels the need"

Both Cora and Robert looked impressed and stared at her without blinking.

"What?" Rosamund asked.

"Nothing, just didn't know you were so efficient" Robert said.

"Well, a woman never reveal all her secrets at once" she smirked "Goodnight, both of you. Call me if you need anything else, I'll be in the guest room" she walked towards the door and turned around "Good to see you both alive" she meant genuinely and the couple in the room got the hint.

* * *

After their dinner, Cora and Robert passed the time playing a crossword, while their dinner digested. They were both pretty engrossed in it, Robert had his arm around Cora's shoulder and Cora put her head against his shoulder to keep in one position. With nothing much to do, they played crossword.

"You do realize what we are doing right?" Cora spoke

Robert who was busy chewing the back of the pencil and completely focused on finding the right letters mumbled a what.

"So this is what old married couples do?" Cora giggled softly, still weak for laughing loosely.

This got Robert's attention "What?"

"We are in bed, its only 9.30 and we are playing crossword. We are officially an old married couple"

Robert as if struck by a revelation mouthed an 'o' and then laughed "Yes, haha. Wait an hour and I'll get to knitting a sweater our grandchild"

Cora giggled and then stopped, feeling a pain in her stomach "Look at us" she smiled.

"Anyways, do you want to settle down, you must be tired" Robert asked putting away the crossword book.

"Yeah, I just need to change into a lighter shirt, this isn't very comfortable for sleeping. I'll call Ros" she moved to get her phone and Robert grabbed her hand.

"Leave her, I can help you"

"Are you sure, won't it hurt?" Cora asked.

Robert moved forward until their noses touched and Cora closed her eyes. He cupped her small face and opened his mouth to hers. Cora responded with equal gentleness and they both sighed into the kiss. After half a minute, Robert let go and looked into her eyes "No, it won't hurt" he said as he got off the bed to grab a soft nightie for her.

He helped her towards the edge of the bed and asked if she could stand. He helped her up, he went behind her back and unbuttoned the back of the shirt she was wearing. He became more and gentler as he reached down, right behind where the bullet had hit her. Cora shivered lightly because of the chilliness and because she was still very weak and Robert placed a warm kiss on the back of her neck until Cora sighed. He rubbed his hand together until they were warm and placed it on Cora's back, sliding from her shoulder, to her spine and down to her waist. The soft gliding of his hands, made Cora sigh again as she closed her eyes. When the shirt was unbuttoned he gently rolled it off her arms and put it aside. To get her upright and warm, he repeated the process with his hands on her arms, he softly glided his hands up and down her arms; from her shoulders to her hands as his mouth placed very soft and very warm kisses from her left shoulder to her right. Cora lowered her head, signaling him to continue. He kissed his way back to the neck and settled on the slope and encircled her body, covering her hands and arms completely with his big ones. He was being so gentle, Cora could cry.

Robert remembered how gently Cora treated him when he was in her position and he wanted to make her feel even more loved than he felt. Robert now turned and faced her. He placed his mouth on her jawline as Cora held on to his biceps. He glided his mouth towards her chin and took her lower lip in his mouth. Cora immediately felt the need to kiss him back with fervor and she did. When Robert removed his mouth from hers she moved hers forward for more and Robert dipped in again. They both knew that they were too weak to actually have sex but they couldn't stop, they both kissed softly and firmly, mentally telling themselves it wasn't possible. Not when they both are fresh out the hospital.

They both separated for air and looked at each other. This time Cora cupped his face and felt a wave of tears on her eyes. No man has ever loved anyone as Robert loved her, she knew that, she always knew that and so did Robert. She loved Robert with every inch of her heart, with all that she had. Robert kissed her palm and Cora put her hand around his neck gesturing him to kiss her neck to which he happily obliged. He held her waist, careful to have a distance enough to not touch their stomach as they both had injuries on them. Robert kissed her neck and Cora was sure that it'll leave a mark the next day but she didn't care. After all that had happened, she didn't care for anything aside from Robert. Robert made sure to plant soft kisses and not lose his mind in passion, as much as he wanted to. He kissed the base of her neck and slide his lips down to her breasts. Cora let out a loud sigh at the sensation, he kissed every inch as far as her bra allowed it. He flicked his tongue at the peak of her nipple and Cora chewed on her lip, containing a moan. Hearing her moan wasn't helping him at all.

He wanted to kiss her scar too as she did to his but he couldn't bend more, his stitches hurt. Her breasts were turning him on but he concentrated on pleasuring her than seeing to his own needs. To him, Cora was still the most beautiful and the hottest of woman ever, she could wear a potato sack and still be the hottest woman. So he moved to the left side of her breast and kissed in the similar manner, moaning with his eyes closed. They were playing a very dangerous game and they both knew it but the heart wants what it wants. When Robert kissed down her left boob, he felt her heart pulsing in a high speed under his lips. That made him stop and he moved up and cupped her face again as Cora looked at him with surprise, her breath ragged.

"We can't do this" he said and Cora closed her eyes in disappointment and nodded.

"Yeah, I know" He kissed her one more time, dipping his tongue in her mouth until she moaned. Then he grabbed her nightie, unhooked her bra; resisting the urge to have her then and there, and helped her into it. Cora too realize as the layer of passion thinned that her legs ached from standing too much and Robert helped her lay back into the bed. After joining her, he looked into her eyes deeply and kissed her one last time that night. Cora put her hand in his hair as Robert moaned into her warm mouth. He kissed her once, twice, thrice and then rubbed his nose with hers.

"I love you" he said.

She cupped his face "I love you, too" as they settled down to sleep.

* * *

Four more days and Robert found himself sitting a very uncomfortable wooden chair as tugged on his sweater harder; the place was too cold and so were the people in it. After a long debate with the German police, he convinced them that Cora was unable to visit the police station and her mental health doesn't allow her to be in such an environment. Cora still woke up at nights and sometimes got lost in a terrifying reverie whenever she looked at the guest room or whenever she heard someone opening the door. Her fear was very much alive and Robert tried his best to help her get rid of it. They slept with a light on, Cora insisted on a snuggle every night even though it put pressure on their stitches. Sometime Cora would wake up with a severe headache because of the dreams. Little things made her panic, although they were very much in control and only lasted some seconds, they were still there and it broke Robert's heart. So after many discussions and debates, they agreed on his term only if Robert visited the station because it was some kind of a procedural step.

A police man filed his reports and asked him many questions that gave him a headache. After 45 minutes of questions and answers and tallying them with the laws back at home, it was decided that Simon will be transferred to London but will remain in jail for 2 months, as well as he was on warnings and was told never to be near any member of the Crawley family within the range of 5 kilometers. It was a lengthy process, Simon's lawyer and Robert's attorney Murray were taken on a Skype call and points were made according to laws in both countries. Initially the time in prison was 6 months with a heavy fine but due to the negotiations with Simon's lawyer, the decision was made.

Robert was ready to run out of that place but a police officer informed Robert that Mr. Bricker is insisting on meeting him. His first answer was a definite no but Robert couldn't resist seeing him caged in bars so he agreed.

* * *

A guard guided him towards the cells and Robert saw Simon in a small prison, his face pale with a weird looking stubble and he was dressed in prison clothes.

"What?" Robert asked furiously.

Simon looked here and there and then replied "Cora isn't here?"

This boiled Robert's blood, can this man be sentenced to death already? "Do you think I'll let her anywhere near you, you bastard?"

Simon looked down "How is she?"

"That is none of your business"

"Please"

Robert sighed "She is not fine because you shot her, you almost killed her and consider yourself lucky you are here and not in London because by this time they would have punished you with life imprisonment" Robert looked at him with red eyes and clenched his fist.

"I didn't mean to shoot her, I promise. I love her"

"Don't you dare, I am warning you, don't you dare!" Robert pointed a finger at him and Simon gulped.

"I am sorry, I really am"

"You should be. Enjoy your time here" Robert said as he started to walk back.

"Wait!" Simon shouted "Can she come here, I want to apologize. I didn't mean to shoot her"

Robert stormed back and grabbed him by the collar "Two things, you son of a bitch! If you ever say her name again, I'll make sure that slimy tongue of yours is separated from your body and two if you ever, ever try to come near any member of my family, I will personally break every single bone in your body regardless of the consequences." Robert pushed him back until his back hit the wall and stormed out.

* * *

Cora chewed her lip waiting for Robert to return from the police station. She was so tensed, she was ready to throw up any minute. She was so scared of the decision, she never ever wanted to be affiliated with him again nor wanted to see his face again. He still haunted her, he scared the crap out of her and the thought of ever seeing him again scared her to death.

Rosamund, Carson and Mrs. Hughes waited with Cora and all watched the clock tick by. As soon as Robert returned Cora walked towards the door as quickly as she could.

"Well?" she asked as everyone in the room looked at him.

"2 months imprisonment, warnings and lifetime banishment to being around any member of the Crawley family within the range of 5 kilometers. I have also hired a detective as per Murray's suggestion to keep an eye on him."

Everyone stared at him for a few seconds. "So it's over?" Cora asked as if a mountain of weight was lifted from her shoulders.

Robert smiled at her "It's over"

"I, uh, I won't have to see him again?" Cora asked again, her voice breaking.

"You won't _ever_ have to see him again"

Cora burst into tears, she was so scared, it frightened her to her core and Robert immediately hugged her. Cora settled her head into the crook of his shoulder and Robert smiled and kissed her head multiple times. "It's alright, it's alright darling"

The rest three of them rejoiced in the room. "Well that is rightly served" Mrs. Hughes said with a grin as she clapped her hands together.

"I knew that justice would never let us done" Carson added.

"Well this calls for a celebration!" Rosamund said as Cora and Robert chuckled still snuggled into each other. Robert kissed her forehead and wiped her tears and Cora smiled up at him, something which immediately melted his heart. He decided not to tell her about the encounter with Simon. What is done is done.

Carson coughed and everyone looked at him "I think it's perhaps time that we mention it. There is another thing that calls for celebration" he smiled.

"What is it, Carson?" Robert asked and Mrs. Hughes smiled shyly.

"I and Mrs. Hughes… _Elsie_ , have decided to get married"

A series of 'Ooh's' and 'Aah's took place and Robert looked like a little puppy, he had always shipped them and they had become more like parents to him.

"Oh, I knew it! This is amazing!" Cora added.

"Oh congratulations!" Rosamund said as she ran to get champagne and glasses from the kitchen.

The two couple exchanged hugs and handshakes, it really was a wonderful day.

"When have you decided to get married?" Cora asked.

"Next year in summers. We were thinking Scotland as that place is closest to my heart" said Mrs. Hughes

"And a beautiful place for a wedding, bravo!" praised Robert.

Rosamund returned with glasses and popped a bottle.

"Only a sip for us Ros" Cora reminded her and three glasses full and two glasses with barely a sip were exchanged.

Robert coughed and raised his glass "To Carson and Elsie"

"To Chelsie!" joked Rosamund and everyone laughed.

Mrs. Hughes and Carson exchanged a kiss and everyone aw-ed. The gloom had finally lifted.

* * *

The next few days were spent in a lot of paperwork and packing to return to England. Rosamund finally had the time to play a tourist now that Robert and Cora had recovered enough for her not to be around 24/7. The newly engaged couple played the lovebirds and were always seen together in Mrs. Hughes' lovely garden or house. Cora couldn't help but think back to when she fell in love with Robert; the initial rush, the excitement, the tension, and the sleepless nights, all things brought their own joy. Not everyone goes through such an amazing process but for her and Robert, they went through it twice, although in very different ways but the crux of it was same.

One day after dinner, they both went out on a walk; a long walk really, to get some fresh air. They were tired of being confined within the house so they slowly walked and walked without too much exertion. Cuddled up in sweaters they both held hands and walked enjoying, their last few days in Berlin. They walked until they reached a small bridge facing a small stream which overlooked the center of Berlin and they stopped to observe the city lights at night.

Robert sighed as he took in the view and Cora looked at him with a smile.

''Will you miss this place?" she asked.

"Yes, I think I will" he put an arm round her shoulder "When I first came here I didn't like it but since then I have made great friends, neighbors, the staff was good, the area is beautiful. It's a suburb sort of an area and I enjoyed it here"

Cora smiled again "I will miss it too, well the good parts anyways"

Robert looked at her with mischief in his eyes "What were the good parts?"

"Hm" Cora pretended to think "Like this stream" Robert laughed.

"Mrs. Hughes, Carson, I will miss the galleries.."

 _"Fake_ galleries" Robert coughed and Cora lightly slapped his shoulder.

"The area, oh the gardens yes, the beautiful park near your house"

"And?" Robert insisted.

Cora played along "Oh there is an _and_? What else could possibly be as good as the garden and the stream" she smirked and Robert made her look at him.

"Nothing else?" he asked cupping her chin.

Cora smiled a genuine smile "Getting back the love of my life; the best-est part" Robert finally satisfied kissed her forehead.

"It won't be easy though, right? You've grown to love this place" Cora added as she looked at the lights in front of her.

"Hey?" he said and Cora looked at him "You will stay by my side?"

Cora nodded and he continued "Then everything will be easy. Sure, I got used to this place but home is here the heart is so my home is wherever you are" she smiled and kissed his chin.

They stood in silence for some time before Cora chuckled, Robert asked "What?"

"You remember the last time we stood on a bridge?"

Robert thought about it for a second but Cora spoke "When we talked about the divorce"

"Oh, yes, yes. _That_ night"

"The last time we stood on a bridge there was a completely different future before us" Cora said as she looked at the lights again. A puff of air exited her mouth, her red lips making a pout. As she mentioned that night, Robert too remembered how badly he wanted to kiss her pink cheeks that day and hold her like he was at the moment. But back then he couldn't and now he had the woman of his dreams in his arms and he could kiss her for the rest of their lives. An overwhelming feeling took over him and he encircled her from her back, his hands resting right under her breasts, few inches above her wound and Cora covered his hands with hers. He rested his nose against her neck and Cora felt its cold tip. He sighed in the slope of her neck, taking her in and then leaned in to place a smacking and a very long, hard kiss on her cheek.

Cora smiled to herself when Robert spoke "We never know what's coming, do we?"

Cora chuckled "No"

After a few seconds she spoke again "I called Mr. Rogers yesterday"

"Who?" he asked, too comfortable hiding his face in her neck.

"My lawyer, William Rogers"

"Oh" he murmured.

"Poor guy was very confused" she chuckled again and Robert laughed.

"Who isn't confused by all this? What did he say?"

"Well he didn't say much because it took me 15 minutes just to explain him and in the end he said 'Okay Mrs. Levin- oh Crawley' I will work start working'"

"Hey, how do you think Mama will react?" Robert asked and Cora raised her eyebrows, he was still holding her from behind.

"Yours or mine?"

"Golly I forgot about yours" and Cora giggled.

"We will see when we get there" said Cora "And hey, I have to do something"

"What?" he asked

She wriggled out of his embrace and put a hand in her pocket and took out something and hid it in her fist. "I didn't leave it back in my house, I didn't want to give Simon another reason to be mad" Robert raised his eyebrows as Cora opened her fist.

The diamond ring that Simon gave her sat at the center of her palm. Robert immediately groaned looking at it.

"Well, should we sell it or give it away?" Robert asked scratching his head.

Cora thought for a moment and then moved her head side to side "No, I don't want to benefit from it nor do I want anyone to be affiliated with it"

"So?"

Cora gestured towards the stream and Robert opened his mouth is shock "Seriously?"

Cora grinned "Very seriously"

Robert laughed "Well then, go for it. Throw it as far as you can"

Cora giggled and looked for a perfect spot "There, my aim is to throw it behind that rock"

Robert nodded as Cora targeted her aim and then threw it with all the energy that she had. It went into the water right behind the rock and Robert clapped.

"Nice shot, Mrs. Crawley" and Cora smiled.

"Oh another thing!" she said.

"What now?"

She dug into her pocket again and hid another thing in her fist. Robert asked "Another ring?"

Cora nodded and Robert rolled his eyes "That son of a bitch" Cora laughed at how adorably angry he was.

"No, darling he didn't give me this." She opened her palm and it revealed her wedding ring "Recognize this?"

This immediately lifted his mood "You brought this with you?"

"No, but before Rosamund came here I asked her to bring it from my house"

Robert smiled and asked "This little baby goes into the stream or the shops?" he joked.

"On to the finger" she grinned.

Robert took the ring from her and held her hand "I am sorry I cannot go on one knee"

"It's alright, darling. You already did, remember?"

Robert smiled and put the ring on her finger; right where it belonged. They both smiled after that and both of them overwhelmed with it all felt happy tears in their eyes before Robert encircled her shoulders and pulled her in for a kiss. Cora smiled into the kiss and put her hands in his hair. The light of the city shone upon them as they kissed each other like it was the last time.

* * *

 **Hey, hey, heyy! Look who is back! After a two months long break, I have finally updated and as promised this is the LONGEST CHAPTER, it is about 9k words, yes.**

 **I am sorry I was away but those of you who follow me ( mcgonneville) on Instagram know that I had exams and they only finished this Friday. Yes, 2nd semester done. (University is hell, did anyone tell you that? Make notes!)**

 **Alright so first off this is the second last chapter, the next chapter will be the last, thank you so much for sticking around, I bet you are tired of this story, lol. No worries, it's about to end.**

 **Secondly, I don't know shit about the police laws or the locations in Berlin, this is all fictional to accommodate the story. I know some people want some more family scenes and I know that there aren't much and I am sorry, I will try to fit it in the last chapter.**

 **Thirdly, thank you everyone for the PM's, DM's, Instagram comments telling me how much you love and missed this story, really it shocks me. I never thought SO many people will like it. I love you all, so much.**

 **Last but most importantly, please please let me know what you think, I am nervous coming back, I am sure many of you must have forgotten it, it has been a long time but those kind souls who do read it, please please let me know what you think of it. Your reviews are everything. Thanks for reading. See you next time, for the last time with The Heart Wants What It Wants!**


	29. Chapter 29

**_One year later.._**

Matthew tapped his fingers on the burgundy table as he skimmed through a bunch of papers placed on Robert's desk. He was deep in thought when he heard the creak of the door. Turning around he saw his boss, father-in-law and also a close friend walk into his own office with his briefcase.

Robert noticing Matthew's presence smiled as he walk towards his chair.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Matthew putting down the paper he was reading sat more comfortably in his chair while Robert opened his briefcase.

"Oh, just a few minutes ago. Laura let me in" Robert nodded as he wore his reading glasses. "Oh and she gave me this. This just arrived by fax, the adjustments we need to make before the meeting with the US company"

Robert nodded again and took the papers from Matthew. He started reading as he spoke "Well, it is manageable, let's postpone this to 28th, Bates will have enough time to go through it as well and then we can all come up with a plan" Matthew agreed as Laura arrived with Robert's tea.

"Thank you, Laura. And oh, check if Mrs. Crawley's financial report has been sent. She said she'll send it today" Laura nodded and left.

"She was working on it last night, she must have sent it by now" Matthew added as took a biscuit from the plate in front of him and took a bite.

Robert sighed and took off his glasses "I wish she take it easy. Audrey is more than able to manage"

Matthew smirked "She's your daughter, Robert. She is stubborn" Robert rolled his eyes and Matthew smiled.

"I know but she shouldn't stress" Robert added.

Matthew sighed and nodded "I keep telling her that but she insists, she says that she still has four months before the baby will arrive and she can't just sit around all day. And you know her mood swings"

Both men in the room just shook their heads. Mary's mood swings were severe, a month back she threw a plate on the wall because the back pain kept waking her up and another time she started crying at a party because she didn't get a piece of the cake she had been wanting since its start. It was silly but no one could blame her. Especially not Robert because he remembered Cora's mood swings and they too were on some other level. Sybil had been easy, well, somewhat easy. Tom said she became super cranky by the end but otherwise she was _mostly_ fine. But his first grandchild, little Sybbie was a little bundle of energy so no wonder she gave Sybil a difficult time at the end.

Robert smiled then, thinking back to all the fuss and chaos and then all that being worth it as soon as he set eyes on his three beautiful daughters.

"You must be so excited. I know I am!" Robert stated.

Matthew grinned "Oh, terribly! I can't wait to hold my child" Both the men smiled as Laura came back in and handed the report to Robert.

"Anyways how long is Bates here for?" Matthew asked.

"Oh, he'll be here and there"

"Much like you last year" Matthew replied.

Robert chuckled and nodded "Yes, exactly. He's here for a month, then he'll go back and be back for the wedding. Anna will stay with his mother for a while, she says she can't travel on and off with a one year old" Matthew nodded understanding.

"Has your friend Carson gotten used to him?"

"Yes, I suppose. Bates is quite fond of him and Carson speaks highly of him. So my replacement wasn't too terrible" Robert smiled.

Cora and Robert had shifted back to London and Bates and Anna offered to move to Germany. Of course they'd rather be in London but after learning all that had happened, Bates didn't hesitate once. He felt it was his duty and really, the original plan was that Bates should go, it was Robert who insisted he should. Anna didn't mind much, she had mentally prepared for a move already and according to Carson, she had gotten really close to Mrs Hughes as well.

Thinking back to all the things, it felt like years ago but at the same time it felt half an hour ago. The move back here was nice, he had his family, he had Cora, and he was home. A part of him missed Berlin, he missed Carson and Mrs Hughes, and he had gotten extremely close to them. Even Cora missed them but they maintained a close contact with both of them.

Bates and Anna moved into Robert's house so Mrs Hughes had found a new neighbor. With a mutual topic in mind they got on really well at start and now they were all buddies. Robert missed his friends, as both Carson and Bates had moved but he was very excited to have Bates back for a while and he couldn't wait to see Carson and Mrs Hughes either. Cora asked him regularly when the _almost_ married couple were to come to Scotland for the wedding. Which should be soon as they planned to get married this year.

Matthew shook him out of his reverie "Are you going to pick up Cora and then go to Bates'?"

"No" Robert shook his head "She'll be there, I was already late to the office so I said I'll meet her directly there. It will save some time"

Matthew nodded "I'll pick Mary up though. I don't want her driving in this state"

"Agreed" Robert nodded as he focused back on the papers in front of him.

"Why were you late anyways?" Matthew asked.

"Oh, well my darling wife insisted I had proper breakfast before I left. You know, she likes to fuss" He said that but he never meant it and Matthew knew that. Robert enjoyed being fussed over and since the ulcer epidemic, Cora had been super careful with his diet. She let him drink and eat comfort food but with a balanced amount and it made it all sweeter because Cora would go on a health kick with him as well.

"Oh, I just remembered, I should call Mary and tell her to wrap the present we got for little William"

Robert nodded "Cora is in charge of baby gifts, I have no clue where to start. What do one year old boys like anyway?"

Matthew chuckled "Search me. Anyways, I am off. See you at the birthday party"

* * *

About six hours later, Robert arrived at the Bates'. It was their son's first birthday party and they invited all the Crawley's and some other friends to celebrate. William's birthday was actually a few months back but as Anna and Bates weren't here, they decided to properly celebrate it when they were back.

He opened the door to his best friend's house and was greeted by Anna.

"Oh, Robert how lovely to see you" he kissed Anna's cheek and smiled. Bates then walked up to him.

"Crawley" he smiled.

"Bates" and they hugged it out.

"Where were you? Cora has been here for almost an hour"

"Oh, I had somethings to finish. Is everyone here?"

"Yes, except Matthew and Mary. Your mother's here as well"

Robert raised his eyebrows "Mama is here?"

Bates chuckled "She was one of the first ones here. You know how she doesn't believe in being fashionably late"

Robert nodded and looked over Bates' shoulder and saw Mama sitting in a corner with Edith. He looked over the crowd to see where Cora was but couldn't find her. He took a few steps to see where she was sitting but his mother dear caught his eye so he walked to her instead.

"Hello, Mama" he kissed her cheek "Didn't know you were coming as well" he said that as he kissed his middle daughter's cheek.

"Why? Bates and Anna invited me, why shouldn't I have come?"

"Well you're not really the kind to attend children's birthday parties"

"What kind is that? If you must know I wanted to see Bates. He's like family now, he's in our business. It's important" Robert contemplated how emotional or how business like her motive was.

He shook his head and took a glass of champagne from the table "Edith darling, how is the magazine going?"

Edith took a sip of her drink and smiled "Oh wonderful! Bertie is part of the creative team and he has great ideas, it's so good to have him by my side"

Robert smiled "How does he manage? With his job and all?"

"Oh it's not too hard, he joins me on some days, mostly Friday's because it's a half day"

Rosamund walked up to them as she managed a tray of glasses in her hands. "Oh, Robert, you're here"

Robert kissed his sister's cheek and took the tray from her to place it on the table. "You're very domesticated"

Rosamund raised her eyebrows "Does that surprise you? I wonder who did all your cooking and cleaning last year"

Robert chuckled "Sorry, sorry" and Rosamund smiled. Robert looked here and there again for Cora.

"Oh, Edith" Rosamund spoke "Anna is asking if you can give her a hand with the plates"

"Of course" Edith got up.

"Has anyone seen Cora?" Robert asked.

Edith turned around "Oh, she is with Bertie. Last I remember she was near the fireplace"

* * *

Robert walked towards the fireplace even though it wasn't lit and saw a view that warmed his heart. His darling wife, dressed in a baby pink chiffon frock that reached her knees was sat with their granddaughter, Sybbie in her arms. Cora continued talking in baby language with Sybbie as the baby coo-ed and laughed at her grandmamma. Sybbie's eyes were fixated on Cora and Cora had the most beautiful smile on her face. Sybbie's little fingers had gripped Cora's index finger as Cora kissed her little hand.

"Hello, my darlings!" Robert smiled as both of them looked at him. Though Sybbie only looked for half a minute and then stared back at her grandmamma, who was far more interesting. However Cora smiled back at Robert.

"Oh, you're here. I was just about to call you" Robert walked towards her and bend down to kiss her cheek. Though with this one, he lingered a few seconds longer. He then bended further and sat in mid -air with the support of the armrest and kissed the forehead of his granddaughter.

"How are you my little one?" Robert asked Sybbie as he stroke her cheek. "Having fun with Granny are we, yes?" Sybbie cackled and both Robert and Cora smiled.

"What took you so long?" Cora asked.

"Well madam you only let me leave at 10 and there were a lot of things to do"

Cora rolled her eyes "What about that big meeting you have, with that American company?"

"Oh, I thought I'd ask Bates to join as well, so we can do it on the 28th. I discussed it with Matthew"

"Where are Matthew and Mary?" Cora asked and on spot the door opened revealing their pregnant daughter and his husband in tow.

"My lady asked and here they are" Robert said and Cora chuckled.

"Oh, by the way, Carson emailed me earlier"

"Oh, yes?" Cora replied as their granddaughter clapped her tiny hands for attention.

"They will be here in 2 months. They'll go straight to Scotland"

"But the wedding is in two months. He should have some time off"

"I offered but you know Carson. Even Bates told him to come with him but he thought it better to stay and finish off some things"

"I'll talk to Elsie tonight, see if there is anything for me to do" Robert nodded as Bertie walked towards them.

"Oh, hello Robert" he shook Robert's hand as Robert got up, to sit properly on a chair. His knees were about to give up.

"Hello, Bertie. Good?"

"Wonderful" Robert smiled as Matthew called out to him.

"I'll be back" Robert smiled at Cora and went off towards Matthew.

Sybbie started to cry and Cora immediately started bouncing her gently "Aw, what is it?" But Sybbie continued to cry.

"I, uh, can I try?" said Bertie and Cora nodded.

Bertie took Sybbie from Cora's arm "Here we go, eh Sybbie? It's alright" Bertie gently patted her back and Sybbie stopped crying and looked at him with her big brown eyes.

Cora smiled at him "You've got the touch"

Bertie smiled back "I'm glad. In fact I can't wait to have one of my own"

Cora's eyes immediately shone "Really? I didn't know you both were trying"

"We had planned to wait two years at least after our marriage and it's almost two now so let's see" Cora smiled as Sybil walked up to them.

"I heard Sybbie crying. Is everything alright?" She asked and smiled at Bertie.

"Oh, perfectly" said Cora "She is in good hands"

"Where is Tom, darling?"

"Oh he is with Papa, Mary and Matthew. Well it's time for her feed so I'll get her bottle. Bertie, are you good to handle her for a few minutes?" Sybil asked.

"Oh, don't worry" he looked at Sybbie "I think we will be great friends, don't you think so, darling?" Sybbie let out an 'oooh' and they all laughed.

* * *

"But Papa, I don't think we should issue more shares right now. Let's wait until all are new branches are well staffed and equipped, think then we'll have more to offer"

"The rate right now is to our advantage, you know how it fluctuates" Robert took a sip of his drink.

"I agree with Robert, Mary. But let's discuss this later" Tom added. Tom had a very businesslike mind and he was always involved while making such a decision.

Mary took a minute to think it through "Let's ask Bates and Murray in a few days and then we can properly plan"

"I'll get you some more juice" Mathew said.

"I'm so sick of being pregnant" Mary sighed as she rubbed her back.

"Sit down, Mary" Robert told her and she agreed.

* * *

Matthew walked up to pour some juice as he bumped into Cora "Oh, Matthew" Cora said as Matthew kissed her cheek.

Cora asked what he wanted and upon his reply, Cora raised her eyebrows in confusion.

"For Mary" Matthew clarified.

"Ah, I see"

Violet who was sitting nearby called Cora "My dear, might I have some water"

Cora gave her a glass and sat next to her as Matthew walked back to Mary.

"He looks worried" Cora remarked as she sat down with Violet.

"Of course, he is. His wife is pregnant"

Cora smiled "Robert was just the same, when I was pregnant with Mary. He couldn't stop fussing"

"Seems like a lifetime ago, doesn't it?"

"Yes and no" Cora smiled and Violet smiled back.

"Why was Robert so late? I hope he isn't working too hard" Violet asked, looking worried.

"No, no, he isn't. It's just this one meeting otherwise me, Mary and Matthew don't let him do a lot. It annoys him but he understands" Cora replied looking at Robert who was laughing loudly with Bates and Rosamund. Apparently they both were teasing Rosamund with some embarrassing story about her in their university days.

"So much can change in just one year. I remember the New Year's party last year, you two couldn't even look at each other"

Cora smiled a sad smile "Yes." She thought for a second and continued "I regret all of it, Mama. You know that, right? I regret the four miserable years we spent apart" Cora stated as she looked down and rubbed her ring with her thumb.

Violet took her hand and squeezed it and Cora looked at her and saw a rare expression of love on her face. "You both needed it. I know I wasn't always convinced that you two will make a brilliant match and I will regret saying this to you later but.."

"But?"

"You two are meant to be together. I can see that now. You both tried very hard to give each other up and when you did, we saw the result. Blood, everywhere, literally!"

Cora chuckled as she became teary eyed "Thank you, Mama"

Rosamund walked up to them "Mama, are you bullying her again?" she teased.

Violet rolled her eyes "Really Rosamund? You paint me as such a schemer!"

"Well, isn't that the truth" Rosamund smirked and before Violet could reply Mary walked up to them.

"Anna is asking everyone to gather around the table"

They all walked towards it as Cora took Mary's hand "How is the back pain"

"Better today but it's impossible to move at night"

Cora rubbed her back and kissed her daughter's cheek to Mary's surprise as they continued walking towards the table.

* * *

Bates was carrying William who was dressed as a sailor and looked absolutely adorable. He looked around wondering what was going on as Anna lit the candles. Everyone started singing _Happy Birthday_ as Bates helped their little boy cut the cake and blow out the candles.

Cora looked at Robert who was holding Sybbie and as everyone clapped, Robert took Sybbie's hands and made them clap, to which Sybbie let out a big laugh and Robert kept grinning. Cora smiled at him, he really was a big donk!

* * *

Later that night, Robert stood on the roof of their London house and looked at the stars. He had no idea how long he had been standing there, he really came up to lock the roof door, since the horrifying Bricker incident, they made sure all locks on doors and windows were secured.

So much had changed in just one year, his life had flipped upside down. It took so many turns, both good and bad and he wondered how they came out of it alive. He remembered one night he was with Mrs Hughes and he had looked at the stars just as he was looking now. Only then he was miserable, sad and alone and he use to wonder what purpose his life had now. And now he was happy, so happy, so content and with just one purpose in life, to keep Cora safe and loved. To keep her with him forever.

Simon Bricker as Murray told him was back in London but Robert's detective let him know that he had no intention to contact Cora again. Upon his return to London he was seriously advised not to even dare try anything foolish as the police here will not spare him. That is all Robert knew and didn't care to know much else.

His phone buzzed as he took it out to see who had messaged him.

Mrs Hughes just whatsapp-ed him a picture of her and Carson at the fare of some sort. Robert smiled at it and then felt a hand on his shoulder. He almost turned around but he felt Cora's arms sneak up around his stomach as she placed her chin on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I was just coming down" Robert said as he covered her hands with his.

"I knew you'd be looking at the stars again" Cora replied and she sniffed his scent in.

"How did you know that?" Robert asked surprised.

"I just did" Cora chuckled.

"Look what Mrs Hughes just sent me" Robert said as she walked a step to stand with him.

Cora smiled "Yeah, she sent me this too. They're adorable, aren't they?"

Robert nodded and looked up again at the sky. A few seconds later, he saw Cora smiling up at him.

"What is it?"

Cora wrapped her hand around his arm "You know how before we got married and we used to go on dates and later you used to tell me all about the stars"

"Yeah"

"I remember how you used to keep looking at the sky and I just used to look at you, thinking how much I loved you"

Robert blushed a little and kissed Cora's forehead. "I was a bit of a nerd, wasn't I?"

"You are still a nerd" Cora chuckled. Robert scrunched up his nose at her and Cora did the same.

"Do you want some tea?" Cora asked as she placed her head on his chest.

"Let's stay here for a few minutes"

Cora smiled and took his hand and led him to a carpet she had placed there. They both lied down and stared at the sky.

"I think you might be having your third grandchild soon" Cora said.

Robert jerked his head towards her "Mary is having twins?!"

Cora laughed "No, no, darling. I mean Edith and Bertie"

"What?"

"Yeah, he told me today that he is ready for a baby. He was very sweet with Sybbie today"

"And Edith, is she ready?"

"I am not sure, I'll ask her"

Robert looked at her and smiled "You looked beautiful today"

Cora smirked at him "You notice quick" she teased him.

Robert put his head on his hand putting weight on his elbow and Cora mimicked him "I did notice before, it's just.." he scooted closer and put a hand on her waist "it's only now that I've found the right moment to tell you"

"Oh yeah?" Cora asked as Robert moved his head closer to her face.

He hummed into her mouth as Cora put a hand on his face.

"You should wear this color more often" Robert added as he kissed her again.

They kissed and kissed till their lips became chapped. He plunged his tongue in her mouth as her fingers played with his hair. He put one hand on her leg and slid it up the length of it. Cora tugged on his hair tighter as his hand reached her upper thigh. He moved his mouth to her jawline as Cora gripped the back of his neck. Robert roamed his hand under her dress, playing with her curves and delighting in her moans as he hooked his finger on the band on her underwear and slowly pushed it down. Cora looked at him surprised.

"Robert, really?" she chuckled in nervousness.

He shushed her by kissing her again and forced her legs apart to give way to her underwear to slide down. Robert explored her back under her dress as Cora used one hand to unbutton his shirt. She roamed her hands on his chest and nipples just as Robert was doing it on her back. Cora bit and sucked on his earlobe as Robert pulled down the zipper of her dress. Cora felt wild, she was under the sky, wearing nothing under her dress. As if clockwork, Robert moved his hand towards her center and cupped her womanhood as Cora bit on his neck. She tried really hard not to make a lot of noise, it wasn't late enough for her neighbors to be asleep. Robert moved his fingers in circles and Cora buried her face in his neck. She concentrated on kissing his neck and he was sure that it'll leave a mark. Cora moaned in his neck as she used one hand to unbuckle his belt.

Robert then tested a finger inside her and it made Cora yelp. She moaned a ' _fuck_ ' as he continued using his finger to make her weak in the knees. Cora put his hand under the waistband of his underwear and did exactly what he was doing to her.

As soon as her finger met with the flesh, Robert shut his eyes "Dear god". Robert sped up the pace of his fingers and Cora lolled her head back in pleasure. He used the opportunity to kiss her neck and down to her breast.

Cora could see the stars, but not the one on the sky. Robert continued pleasuring her and Cora lost all thought of the purpose her one hand had that was stuck between his legs.

"Robert, oh, god…I'm..I'm about to.."

She was so close, so very, very close but a loud siren brought her back to earth. They both heard loud sirens of an ambulance and it killed the mood.

Robert looked at Cora and her back at him.

"Let's go downstairs" she said and he nodded. He helped her up and she launched herself on him for one more kiss. He moaned again and took her hand and led her to the door. As they reached the door, Robert suddenly remembered he had to lock it.

He numbly fussed with the key and the lock as Cora put her hand right where it was a few moments ago. Robert moaned and put a hand on the door for support.

"Cora, god.."

Cora smirked "Hurry up, darling"

Robert tried to lock the door once again as Cora continued moving her fingers around his penis. She delighted in the way he cursed the lock and moan at her touch again and again.

"I'm waiting" Cora whispered in his ear with her hot breath as she cupped and gently squeezed him.

"Oh, shit" he said

Robert somehow locked the door and pulled Cora between him and the door. He launched his mouth on hers and kissed her fiercely. Cora pushed her leg up his hip and Robert held her from her naked hips and pulled her up. Robert kissed her neck as Cora pushed his shirt down his chest. He then carefully walked down the stairs with Cora in his arms and she kept kissing and exploring his chest. She whispered the things she wanted to do to him and it was a surprise that they didn't tumble down.

They somehow managed downstairs and Robert placed her against the wall. Cora dry humped him in that position as Robert used one hand to pull her dress down to reveal her breasts. Robert took one in mouth as her whole body wiggled. Cora moaned with pleasure as Robert devoured her.

Robert was close now and so was Cora. Cora stopped then and Robert looked at her surprised. She took his face in her hands and kissed him once again. She used her toes to push down Robert's pants and underwear.

"Take me to the couch"

Robert nodded. They weren't young as they used to be and the wall hurt her back and it was only too long Robert had the strength to carry and make love to her in that position. Robert sat down and Cora sat on his lap facing him. He helped her shed her dress completely and he kissed her mouth once again. Cora then helped him inside her as they both moaned together. They both moved their body in sync as Robert latched his lips on her breasts and Cora tugged on his hair. He used his hands to move her bottom in sync with him as Cora continued to moan. His tongue on her breasts did things to her.

"You are so beautiful" he said as he took a break to catch his breath.

"God! Robert!"

Robert was so close, and looking and her in all her glory with her mouth a gaped and her lips swollen didn't help him. She was the most stunning woman in the world. Robert moved her body faster with him as he looked at her.

"Cora, I can't" he said as Cora quickened her speed.

They both moved together vigorously, their skin clapping and their moans mixing in hot breaths and kisses till at last they both came together. He took her his arms again and walked to their bedroom. He pulled the duvet up on them and kissed her once more.

After they caught their breaths, Cora laughed.

"What?" he asked.

"We are grandparents and we almost did it under the open sky"

Robert laughed with her and kissed her shoulder.

"I'm going to have lunch with Rosamund tomorrow"

Robert who was kissing her chest stopped "Really, Cora?"

"What?"

"You really had to mention my sister and kill the mood"

Cora chuckled "Kill the mood? Mr. Robert Crawley, haven't you had enough?"

He moved to kiss her lips to prove his point. Cora let him her kiss again and then laughed "You're going to get me pregnant if we keep this up"

Robert looked at her horrified "What?"

"I'm not, I can't now, darling" she laughed at how serious she was.

"Now shoo" he got off her and pouted.

"I love you"

He smiled to himself "I love you too"

* * *

Cora smiled at the security guard outside her gallery as she walked in with Rosamund after their lunch.

"Really, Cora, come on, it'll be fun" Rosamund asked her for the twentieth time.

"Ros, I'd love to but I can't, I promised Robert I'll stay"

Rosamund had asked Cora to come and watch a fashion show with her this afternoon and she had two tickets but Robert wanted Cora and him to watch the premiere of _Game of Thrones'_ new season. And she could cancel of course, he could watch on his own but she didn't want to, if last year had taught her anything it was that they both seriously needed to prioritize.

"Alright, but tell him, next time, I get to have you if any plan clashes"

Cora smiled "Done deal"

"Anyways what is it that you wanted to show me?"

"This" Cora took out a large painting and tore the bubble wrap off it.

It was a large painting of a busy street belonging from medieval times. The painting showed busy market and people walking, buying and bargaining. The colors were all sorts of yellow, reds and browns. It was full of life, full of colour, full of several stories. Just the kind Rosamund liked.

"Oh it's beautiful, Cor!" Rosamund's eyes glittered "And it's just like the one I liked from the auction"

"Well, it can't be just like it" Cora added.

"You're right, this one's better!" Rosamund added and Cora laughed.

"Oh who is it by? Can I buy it, it goes just with my drawing room's coloring"

Cora smiled as Rosamund kept looking at the painting.

Rosamund furrowed her brows "Cora, it's not signed"

Cora grinned "I know"

"What?"

"I made it"

"What?!" Rosamund's eyes became twice their real size. "You made this? Really?"

"Yes and for you"

Rosamund just kept looking at her "Me? Why?"

Cora took her hand "You know why. You helped me and Robert when we were at our worst. You never took sides, you handled the girls and Granny so beautifully. We can never thank you enough for it"

Rosamund became teary eyed "Oh, Cora" and she hugged her "Thank you, I don't know what to say"

"Don't say anything. Just take this as a thank you"

"Oh, I will. I don't have my cheque book now.."

"No. Take this as a gift"

Rosamund shook her head "Oh, I can't possibly. Cora you can make a lot of money out of it, you shouldn't just.."

"Cora put a hand on her shoulder "I don't want the money. I just want you to have this"

Rosamund thought for a minute and then nodded.

"Excellent" Cora grinned.

"Cora?"

"Hm?" As Cora looked for a box to place it in.

"You know why I never gave up on you both?"

Cora walked back to her "Why?"

"Because you two" Rosamund took a deep breath "You two remind me of me and Duke. The way you are together and how much you love each other reminded me of him and it somehow kept him close to me" Rosamund brushed away her tears.

"I always think how life would have been if Duke was still alive and you two immediately come to my mind. I like to think that we would be like you and I could never have let you two break what I crave so much that easily"

Cora's eyes filled up and she hugged Rosamund "I am so sorry Ros"

Once again Rosamund surprised her with a side she never revealed in public.

* * *

 ** _2 months later.._**

 ** _Scotland_**

"Charles?" Mrs Hughes looked around the big castle to find her fiancé. It was too big for her liking, it was something like from the last century but it was beautiful and a perfect place for the wedding.

Her and her fiancé, Charles Carson had just arrived at Duneagle Castle a few days ago. Charles finished his work at the office, took leave from Bates and came to Scotland to get married. Bates had come with Carson but he left for London to be with his wife and child, only to return to Scotland within a week for the wedding.

Mrs Hughes wanted her wedding to be somewhere she loved and had some memories of. She easily shortlisted Scotland because she was born and raised there but she couldn't decide where in Scotland. That is until, a cousin of hers who ran Duneagle Castle as a resort told her they could have the castle all to themselves if they marry in the offseason. And so they did. Now they had a lavish place to get married into.

"Charles?" Mrs Hughes called out again. She passed by a maid that belonged to the resort's staff "Lily, have you seen Mr Carson?"

"He is up in the library, Ma'am"

Mrs Hughes nodded and went to fetch him. She spotted her fiancé looking at the list of books very carefully.

"Charles!"

"Oh" Carson got shook out of his deep thoughts "What is it?"

"They will be here in 10 minutes, come on"

"Oh god"

Carson put the list aside and took Mrs Hughes' hand to walk back down.

* * *

Cora and Robert along with their three daughter, their husbands, Rosamund and the Bates' stepped out the cars.

"This place is so beautiful" Cora remarked as Robert mimicked his grin.

"Welcome, Sir" Carson smiled a big smile as he greeted the party.

"Carson, my dear friend!" Robert shook hands with his buddy.

"Mrs Hughes, how are you?" The ladies hugged it out instead.

"Oh, I'm well, how are you? And you, Robert"

Robert kissed Mrs Hughes' cheek. They really had become like brother and sister.

"I am well, as you can see. Missing your delicious snacks mainly"

Cora rolled her eyes "Yes, my husband is on a diet so.."

Mrs Hughes just laughed "Your wife's orders, Robert"

The rest of the party met with Carson and Mrs Hughes. Matthew, Mary, Bates, Anna and Rosamund had already met with them and the others met them for the first time even though everyone already knew of each other and had said hello's on Skype.

"Tell me all about the wedding" Cora took Mrs Hughes' hand as they walked inside.

* * *

After dinner and the usual ice breakings, Cora, Mrs Hughes, Edith and Sybil decided to go for a walk. Mary heavily pregnant went to bed and so did Matthew. Bertie and Tom went upstairs as well, both who had come straight from their offices. Rosamund too had retired and Anna went up to put William to sleep.

"Let's ask Papa, Bates and Mr. Carson if they want to come along. It's a lovely night" said Sybil

"I agree" said Edith and walked to the terrace where the three men were sat.

Robert was fixing the settings for his camera. He had renewed his interest in photography and wanted to take as many pictures as he could of the wedding. The three of them were bust talking about something when Edith asked.

"Does anyone want to come for a walk, we are all going?'

All the men looked at each other and declined. Three best friends had reunited after a long time, Cora already knew they were going to refuse.

Cora walked up to Robert covered in a light maroon shawl "Alright, then don't wait up for me" Cora said as she kissed her husband's cheek goodnight.

Mrs Hughes who was still shy about public display of affection just squeezed Carson's shoulder.

After a few minutes Robert got up and started taking pictures to test his new settings.

They all drank whiskey and talked about life.

"I never actually thought I'd get married at this age" Carson remarked.

"Life is full of surprises. She was worth the wait, I can see that" Bates added.

"Oh, definitely Mr Bates, I can't do better than this"

Robert smiled and added "I am sure she thinks the same way of you"

Bates took a sip of his drink "Wonderful thing, marriage. The moment Anna came into my life, I realized how empty my life had been without her" they all smiled.

"You know me, Robert" Bates added "I never was a very romantic person, I was and am a very practical one. Very businesslike. But when it comes to Anna I change into a whole new person"

Robert smiled again thinking how accurate his statement was. All three men present were the same; practical, workaholics and business minded. All it took was one person, one very, _very_ special person to tug on their hearts and completely change their lives.

"I uh, I feel the same with Mrs Hughes" Carson smiled "I thought I'd spend the rest of my life working and I was prepared for it. And then I met Mrs Hughes, thanks to Sir here and now I can't imagine my life without her in it"

Robert smiled again and went deep into thought "It was fate, Carson, not me. It's always fate"

He looked down at the gardens and saw Cora walking with everyone else. The sky was beautiful, the stars shone, the greenery around him made him feel alive and fresh, the moon was round and shining and the breeze around him filled his lungs with fresh air. Everything around them was beautiful, it was like art but still all he could focus on was this one figure, the porcelain doll with bright blue eyes, dark black hair and a smile that could kill someone if it wanted to. All he could focus on was her. She was unaware that he was looking at her, as she smiled at something Mrs Hughes said and blushed when she realized her daughters had overheard. She was the most beautiful thing to him. Here and in the whole world.

He took a few pictures of her, smiling, laughing, twirling her hair and placing it behind her ear. He could feel goosebumps, he could feel the butterflies just looking at her. He had known her for more than half his life and she still managed to do things to him that he imagined himself incapable to feel at this age.

"Robert what do you have to say on this?" Bates asked as Robert had stopped speaking a while ago.

Robert turned his head around and said "Love is a wonderful thing, Carson." He paused and took a deep breath "It consumes you, it fills you up, it makes you mad, and it makes you do things you never thought you'd do. I know it, I've felt it" He sighed.

"I've felt like an abandoned child left all alone in the world when I am without Cora. I've felt every inch of me tingle when I see her smile or laugh at something, I've felt every bit of my body boil whenever she got hurt. I've..I've felt helpless, like a man with no limbs, when I've seen her cry. I've felt unimaginable amount of feelings in just one moment, every time I look into her eyes or hold her close. It's a wonderful thing, it's powerful, and it's maddening. If you lose it, you'll never be able to feel whole again"

He looked back at the grounds and Cora waved at him and smiled and there, he felt the goosebumps again, he could feel warm blood pumping all around his body. "But if you have it with you, you'll never desire anything else"

Robert smiled down at Cora and then looked back at his two dearest friends looking at him with a face full of shock.

Robert smiled "That was a lot for an Englishman"

Both men took a long sip from their glasses. That was the truest thing they had ever heard.

* * *

The next day, the day before the wedding, Mrs Hughes, Cora, Rosamund and Mary sat in Mrs Hughes' current room. As they looked through her wedding gifts, clothes and jewelry.

"So you're both going to Paris?" Mary asked as she rubbed her swollen belly.

"Yes, Paris and then Holland if we have enough time" she replied as she sorted out her earings.

"Of course you must go to Holland, you'll only ever have one honeymoon" Rosamund added.

"I agree" Cora added who was smoothing Elsie's wedding dress "I'll ask Robert, he won't mind"

"Where is Edith?" Rosamund asked.

"Oh, she is with Anna" Mrs Hughes replied "The men are all out, they've been gone since breakfast"

"How curious" Rosamund remarked.

"Not very. They all went fishing, I don't know about others but Matthew is very good at it" she chuckled.

"Don't worry, your father is just as bad. He doesn't have the patience for it" Cora added as they all chuckled.

Sybil entered the room with a big brown box in hand.

"Oh, darling, where were you" Cora asked.

"Oh, I was sorting out my clothes and a man handed his to me. It's for you, Mrs Hughes" she handed the box to him.

"Thank you" she replied, kindly.

Upon opening the box they found a veil for her wedding "Oh, it arrived then. They messed up the shipping address so many times"

"Oh, this is gorgeous" Sybil replied "Would you like to try it on?"

Cora helped her put on the veil and a series of 'aw's' filled the room.

"You'll make a beautiful bride, Mrs Hughes" Mary commented.

"Thank you so much!" Mrs Hughes blushed.

"Well then let's sort your make up out" Cora added

"We will leave you to it then" Rosamund added and then left the room with her two nieces.

Cora started picking palettes and lipsticks when Mrs Hughes coughed "What is it?" Cora asked.

"As a matter of fact, I'm glad to have you on my own" Mrs Hughes fiddled with her hands.

They both sat down and Cora took her hand "I'm nervous"

"Of course you are, it's a big thing, marriage" Cora squeezed her hand

"No, I mean about other things"

Cora furrowed her brows in confusion and then it struck her. "Oh" Cora blushed "Well there isn't.."

"It's just.." Mrs Hughes took a deep breath "No one has seen me like that in decades, really and I don't want to appear ridiculous in front of him"

"Well, won't he feel the same way?" Cora asked.

"Perhaps, but still, we're expected to.." Mrs Hughes turned red.

"He loves you. He will love you no matter what" Cora smiled.

"I know that, Thank you, Cora"

Cora got up and walked towards the door "And don't think too much on it, just stay calm. It can be the most terrific fun if you let it" Cora smirked leaving behind a very red faced Mrs Hughes.

* * *

At night Mrs Hughes checked to see if everything was in top shape before her big day. She counted the glasses and checked if the flowers were all in place when Carson walked out of the drawing room. Almost everyone had gone to bed, Robert followed Carson and bid good night to them both.

As soon as Robert left, Carson smiled nervously at Mrs Hughes "Everything in top shape?" he asked.

"Yes, the flowers are here, everything is prepared for the reception" she smiled back.

"Are you nervous?" Carson blushed.

"A little"

* * *

Cora walked out of her room and spotted Robert looking down something from behind the pillar. He was too busy looking and smiling that he didn't notice her coming.

"What are you doing here?" Cora whispered.

"Jesus! Cora!" Robert jumped "Why are you scaring me?"

"I am not scaring you. What is it?" Cora put a hand on his arm as he pointed down.

Cora smiled as she saw Carson and Mrs Hughes smiling and talking to each other.

"Aw, look at them. They are so in love" Cora whispered.

"I feel like a proud Papa; my two friend and a woman I think of my big sister are getting married" he replied.

Cora chuckled "Have you got your speech prepared, best man?" she asked.

"Of course"

"Yeah well you've always got a speech prepared" Cora chuckled as he looked at her and raised his eyebrows and Cora did the same until Robert just pouted at looked back at the couple.

Cora kissed his cheek softly and asked "Why are you creeping up on them though?"

"I am not creeping. I'm just admiring" He put his head on Cora's shoulder "I enjoy weddings"

"Me, too. I don't see any close one coming in the future, no?"

"Hmm, no. You know what my favorite part is?" Robert asked as he pulled himself up.

"What?"

"When the groom turns around to see his bride" Cora smiled as Robert continued "I remember when Rosamund and I were young, we used to play this game where we took Mama's clothes and jewels and design the perfect wedding dress and jewelry. I'd play the shop keeper of course and she would play the lady I'd sell this all too. I used to put in so much effort on this and then make a whole budget in my head"

Cora chuckled as he continued "I used to imagine what my bride would wear and look like and when we got married I held my breath when the music began, I always used to picture this fairy, this beautiful girl I'd marry and I imagined you like that so many times but when I turned around, it was beyond anything I had imagined"

"Aw, darling" Cora smiled, warmed by his words.

"You took my breath away Cor. You still take my breath away." He stroked her cheek softly "I imagine all men wonder how their wife would look like and turning around to see your bride feels more intense than saying I do"

Cora moved up to kiss him softly on the lips, she then put a hand on his cheek "You are the sweetest man, I know Robert Crawley"

"You are the most breathtaking woman I know, Cora Crawley" he smiled and moved down to kiss her again. When his lips left hers, they looked down to see Carson and Mrs Hughes locking lips as well.

"Let's give them some privacy" Cora said and took his hand as they went inside their room.

* * *

The next day, everyone was up and about quite early as they went around and did the last minute things and got ready.

Robert knocked on Carson's door and heard him mumbling 'With this ring I thee wed' and he chuckled.

"Ready, Mr Carson?" Robert asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be" he replied as Robert adjusted his tie "Is everything as it should be" Carson asked.

"Everything is great, now come on" Robert grinned at him "Let's get you married"

* * *

The wedding had been wonderful, the day was a bit chilly but not chilly enough to wear shawls and sweaters. Not long after, Mr and Mrs Carson walked back to Duneagle with their hands intertwined. Champagne was served, music was played as the couple thanked everyone as they entered.

"Congratulations Carson and Mrs..Carson" Anna said "I'll need some getting used to calling you that"

"You're not alone!" replied Bates "Many congratulations"

Robert busied himself taking pictures of his daughters and their husbands, he had found a new hobby. Cora told him not to fuss as they had hired a photographer but there was no stopping Robert.

Sybil walked up to Cora "Mama you look beautiful" Cora wore a navy blue dress, a color that popped the color of her eyes. It was a tight fitted long dress, with a net made long sleeves and front. Her back was a bit exposed though, it cut reached the mid of her spine. Cora wasn't sure but Robert kissed all her worries away and boosted her confidence.

"Thank you darling, you look wonderful yourself"

"Can you take care of Sybbie for a second, I just need to go to the bathroom and I can't find Tom"

"Of course darling" Cora took Sybbie from her as Sybil went off.

"You are enjoying here, aren't you, darling. Yes?" She talked to Sybbie as Robert walked over to her.

"When is it time for the dances?" Robert asked

"Um, it should be now, I don't know, ask Bates"

"He took my camera, he said he wanted to try it out" Cora chuckled

"Oi, Crawley!" shouted Bates "Smile"

Cora and Robert striked a pose as Bates took multiple pictures of the couple with their granddaughter.

"What's with you two and this new obsession?" Cora chuckled.

"Oh you'll be pleased later, you have no idea how many beautiful shots I took of you" Robert smirked proudly.

"Robert, come on, time for the speech" Tom called him as they headed inside the tent.

* * *

"Marriage is a lottery as we are often told but it can be a bumper prize if you are married to someone whom you consider one of your closest friend. Someone who can laugh with you, who can understand you and enjoy your company the most. My time in Berlin taught me that love and friendship are two of the most important things in life. Love because without it, you are empty" he looked at Cora and she smiled sadly "Friendship because without it you are alone" he looked at Mrs Hughes, his best friend in Berlin and she smiled back "and you are lucky if you find both these qualities in one person, in one very special person who feels the same way about you. It is a winning ticket and I couldn't be happier for my friends here as I have never seen a more warmer friendship and a more sweeter love. May they laugh and smile together till the very end. To Carson and Mrs Carson"

"To Carson and Mrs Carson" the crowd echoed back.

* * *

Later at night, Cora changed into her night clothes as Robert entered the room.

"What a day" he said as smiled at his wife.

"It was perfect. Have the newlyweds gone up?" she asked as she applied lotion on her hands.

"Yes, they were off first thing" he chuckled and Cora grinned.

"You gave a lovely speech, darling" Cora added as she got inside her bed.

"Thank you" he said as he joined

"So, am I your friend too? Am I a winning ticket?" Cora raised her eyebrows.

Robert pinched her cheek softly "You are my best friend"

Cora smiled and took his hand in hers "And you.." Cora placed her hands on both his cheeks "you are my donk"

"Cora" he pouted.

"I'm sorry, darling but it's so cute"

"It's embarrassing" Robert pouted again.

"Alright, I am sorry. How can I make it up to you?" she already knew the answer as his expressions changed in an instant and turned his frown into a grin as he hovered above her and nuzzled in her neck.

"Oh yes, of course" Cora giggled as she kissed the side of his head.

Robert looked at her and twirl the short flicks of hair on her face away, much like she did herself the other night. He then kissed her forehead, her cheeks and finally her lips.

"I thought I was going to make it up to you" Cora asked

"You are" he whispered "Let me show you how much I love you"

The atmosphere turned from playful to serious in a minute as Cora nodded and Robert kissed her again. There was no hurry or anything, Robert took his time as he kissed her face with soft, sweet kisses that could make Cora cry. He kissed her neck as Cora sighed helping him remove his shirt. He kissed down her neck and helped her remove her shirt as well. Both completely naked on the first half of their body touched each other wherever their hands could reach. Cora moved her hands on his back, touching and feeling every muscle, gently putting pressure from her nails as Robert moaned. Her hands travelled the expanse on his back as Robert focused on kissing between her breasts. He kissed her pink tops, inciting a moan from her lips. While his hands helped her get rid of her trousers. His hands were now everywhere, slowly and gently touching every inch of her body. Cora grabbed the sheets as she felt his hands reaching her center. He spent some time touching her in the most delightful of ways that made her moan repeatedly in the pillow.

But she stopped him just as she was about to come.

"What?" he asked

Cora grabbed his face and kissed his mouth "I need you" she whispered against his lips as he nodded and shed his trousers.

He moved inside her a minute later as they both moaned together. Cora hid her face in his neck when Robert spoke "Look at me, I want you to look at me"

She nodded as Robert continued. He moved slowly, savoring every second being inside her. The need slowly became too much and Cora begged "Darling, please"

Robert nodded and looking into her eyes, he quickened his pace. He moved faster and faster as their eyes held each other's gaze. He moved until they both let out a loud moan together. Cora kissed his sweaty chest and hugged her to him, not ready for him to leave her body yet.

* * *

Hours later they lied next to each other, completely naked under the brown sheets of the bed. He smiled at her when she squeezed his hand.

Almost five years ago, they made stupid mistakes and ruined their perfect bubble. They lived five long years in pain, misery, unhappiness and emptiness. They suffered from lonliness, from depression, anxiety, confusion, burst ulcers, fights and an attempted murder.

Cora knew he was thinking the exact same thing, thinking back to the greatest of highs and terrible of lows in their lives.

"I know we don't talk about it" Robert finally spoke "I know both of us try not to think about it either but.."

"But we can't just forget it" Cora finished it for him "We can't just pretend those 5 years never happened"

Robert nodded "Whenever I am with you, like this, just holding you I think back to the last five years and it feels like someone just stepped on my heart or splashed a bucket of freezing water on my face"

Cora smiled sadly and put a hand on his cheek "Mama told me the other day, that we needed it, that we both needed it and I agree. It hurts to think about it, it just reminds how miserable we were but it's true, we were absolutely unhappy. We were a mess, Robert. We were miserable together and without each other. We needed to sort what we wanted before we sorted our relationship"

"We can't forget it anyways" Robert pulled the covers down and put a hand on her scar of the bullet and then put their joined hands at the scar of his operation for the ulcer "They will be here to remind us" Robert smiled "But I don't want to remember all the pain and misery, all the foolish mistakes, all the things that horrid man did to us. I know we can't forget it but I want to remember it for other reasons…I want to look at it and remember that what I have with you is.." Robert's tried to speak but his eyes welled up.

"Oh, Robert" she wiped his tears "Oh, my darling"

She hugged him in that position and Robert clung to her as she clung to him.

"I love you so, so much" Cora said trying hard that her voice doesn't quiver "I am here today because of you, I am what I am because of you"

Robert kissed her neck "You are my life, Cor. I never ever want to be without you"

Robert kissed her mouth as the first rays of the sun outside prepared to bring a new day "I love you" he said

"With all my heart" she replied.

* * *

 **There we have it! The last chapter. I am not pleased with it (but then again, when am I ever? but I will let you all decide). To everyone who has been with me since the start (which was almost a year and half ago) I thank you. I would have given up on this story long ago if it weren't for your support, love and encouragement.**

 **I am sorry if this is a disappointment but if I hadn't written it today, I couldn't have for the whole next month as I will be away. So, I am sorry but thanks for reading.**

 **I am not sure when I will ever write again but this story means a lot to me (and some of ya fellas know why! The others are free to guess! Haha!)**

 **So one last time, I ask you to let me know what you thought of it. If anyone wants to ask anything or contact me, PM me here or just DM me on Instagram/Tumblr (Username: mcgonneville).**

 **Thank you everyone so, so much. Sending you all big hugs, thanks for sticking by and motivating me to keep going on!**

 **Good bye!**


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